August IVF

[Langpants]

Hi there,

Anyone else doing IVF this month? I’ve had 2 weeks of Buserelin, and just started the oestrogen tablets today. I’ve never known time to go so slowly before. 😬😂

FET planned for end of August.

I’ve been a hormonal wreck. Got AF this weekend, plus all the extra hormones, and the other half doesn’t know what to do with me - or himself! Ha Ha.

Would be nice to connect with others going through IVF at the moment. x

@CatRen27 yeah a bit nervous but less so than before the weekend as I've not felt anything at all since Friday so I guess I'm just resigned to needing to do this again. My son is 10 and although I've only been actively TTC for the last 3 years, I've not been on any contraception since he was born so I've had a fair few years to get used to not being pregnant 😂

Thanks for asking after me IVFAugust. To be honest, I’m struggling a bit. The 2ww thread freaked me right out, particularly the concern that the progesterone suppositories will mask early losses.

I tested again last night at 1.45am after a 3.5 hour hold and still got a 1-2 weeks pregnant on a Clearblue, so whilst I’m conscious that a 3.5 hour hold may not have been sufficient to give an accurate conception timing reading, I’m now starting to panic a bit that this will all come to nothing (as I’d hope that by 14dpo, which is what I am today, my HCG levels would be high enough to give me a 2-3 weeks pregnant on a Clearblue as that’s what I got with DS and I read that following IVF implantation typically happens earlier. I’ll test again tomorrow morning (hopefully using FMU) and see. It’s bringing back all the horrid memories of my previous early losses.

I definitely think holding out for a little longer is sensible, not least as by the time you test, your miscarriage risk will be significantly lower than when I did, as it falls rapidly between weeks 3 and 5.

@CatRen27 fingers crossed for ovulation! Forgot to say that - sorry! 😂
Re work, I'm off until Monday and plan to go back regardless of the outcome as I just need to get on with it now.

It's really hard juggling isn't it, trying to keep things as stress free as possible but without putting everything on hold. I've ignored 2 promotion opportunities in the last couple of months purely to prioritise IVF which I would do again, but if this all ends with no baby have I made a mistake? I don't know, but I don't regret it as I want to be sure that I've done all I can to make this work. Congrats on the work - at least you'll have something to get your teeth into regardless of the outcome as it seems that even a positive result can lead to lots of stress and heartache and it may be a godsend to have that?!

Hang on in there SnowFee and Thund4rCat

I shall be thinking of you come Sunday IVFAugust. I really hope you’re nicely surprised. Amazing work holding out for this long.

CatRen - I really hope you ovulate soon and can get the ball rolling on the transfer front. It’s so typical that all this should happen just as your work ramps up. But hopefully you will have Mat Leave to look forward to soon!

@IVFAugust2018 I am OK thanks. Just tired and struggling to concentrate on work. I am quite bored of my job, and if it weren't for IVF I would be pushing myself to get a different one, and I even started a job application yesterday but then stopped because just the thought of a job change stressed me out. I need to accept that a boring but easy job is fine for now.

So I totally relate to turning down promotions and the feelings that come with that.

@Cariad2017 I'm sorry you're struggling but I can totally understand why. I guess it's hit me quite hard how this is all going to continue even if I get that magical positive result as the last 10 years and certainly the last 3 have changed me. When I was pregnant last time I was so naive and didn't worry about anything because I literally didn't know what could go wrong. I only had 2 scans and skipped to them excited to see my baby rather than terrified. It sounds stupid but I haven't considered how stressful a precious long awaited pregnancy could be. I'm thinking of you anyway, I truly wish this works for you xxx

IVFAugust I hear you on the promotion front. I feel I’ve been treading water in my career for the past 5 or so years (i.e. ever since we started thinking about procreating). I’m also desperate to move house, but ultimately the size of mortgage we’d need to move is a bit scary in circumstances where there are still so many unknowns about the ultimate size of our family/ whether I’ll want to keep working full time if we have another. I feel stuck in this awful catch 22. If we stay, we’ll want/ need to do a major renovation to our house to make it work for us (something we’ve put off for the past 6 years), but realistically there’s no way I can do IVF/ early pregnancy with the pressure of a huge build and a the costs hanging over us, so I suspect that won’t happen next year either.

We had our house on the market earlier this year, and received a decent offer on it in July, but like you and your promotions, I decided that trying to find somewhere to move to/ moving into a rental property whilst doing IVF, having a child to look after and trying to hold down a full town job was just too much, so we rejected it.

Sorry - that should have read full time. Thank you for your kind words IVFAugust.

Like you, I’d totally underestimated how stressful an IVF pregnancy would be.

Awww ladies, I guess what all of this means is that what we're experiencing and the decisions that we've been making aren't unusual or abnormal, most people would feel the way we do when put in the situations that we have been. I'm very sure I've not done the right thing every time but I'm going to be kind to myself and accept that. May we find peace ✌️

Just accidentally fell asleep (thanks progesterone) and had a really vivid dream that I was on holiday and had my hair braided, was later looking in the mirror and noticed that the braids had pulled big clumps of my hair out so I had braids of hair held on by a couple of strands and big patches of hair loss 😭 looked it up and it's all about my fears of getting old and fear that I don't have the strength to succeed in an undertaking.

Soooo glad to be awake and will hopefully stop checking my hair in the mirror soon 😂

Finally ovulating! Transfer booked for Tuesday. Eeee! Starting my pessaries on Saturday night. Yaaay!

Ooooh. Yay for ovulation! Exciting news CatRen. I shall be keeping everything crossed that it all goes swimmingly on Tuesday.

Ovulation! 🎉💃 great news for the transfer Tuesday, best of luck @CatRen27

@Cariad2017 how are you, when do you come home?

IVFAugust - Thanks for thinking of me. We fly home today. I’m doing okish. I got a 2-3 on a Clearblue Digi yesterday which was a big weight lifted. 4+2 today and still a bag of nerves. If I get that far, the Fertility clinic typically ask you to book a scan between 6 and 6.5 weeks to check the pregnancy isn’t ectopic etc, so after getting a 3+ on a Digi (if I get that far) that will be the next major hurdle. Trying to take each day as it comes, recognising that with each passing day, the miscarriage rate is dropping, but that it’s still very very early.

IVFAugust - How are you doing? I can’t believe you haven’t crumbled and tested. You must have a will of steel. I hope the horrid vivid dreams have subsided since Tuesday.

SnowFee and Thund4rcat - How are you both doing? Sending positive, sticky vibes your way.

@Cariad2017 so relieved it's gone to 2-3, when will you check to see if it's gone to 3+? I genuinely don't think it's down to will power, the fear is just greater than the hope so I can't make myself take a test. I think about it about once a day to see if I can resolve to do a test in the morning but I never do! If the clinic weren't ringing me to check the result, I'm not sure I'd do one Sunday! I always get vivid dreams when I have something in my mind, it's not a pregnancy symptom for me.

cariad great news that things are progressing as they should. 😊 I'm feeling a bit sorry that you're so cautious about this pregnancy. I mean its totally totally understandable, obviously. I'm thinking back to being at this stage of my pregnancy with dd and not having a worry in the world (except for how to tell my SiL but that's another issue entirely!) - what i didn't know then. I hope you can find some moments amidst the worry to be quietly excited and hopeful, just for yourself I mean. How much contact will you have with your clinic over the next few weeks? Do they do regular bloods etc?

I've taken a pregnancy test this morning as I'm on my own today so I reasoned I'd have time to process the result better today rather than Sunday as for other reasons we have all of the family coming over Sunday.

It was a clear negative on a FRER as I expected. I'll test again Sunday, it was a 2 pack so I might as well, but if it was going to be positive then by 12dp5dt it would have been today.

The plan for today is to focus on what I have and book a holiday to make myself feel better before I set my mind to a FET in a few months.

Best of luck** ladies, I'm going to leave this board for a while so forgive me if I don't respond any further ❤️

@IVFAugust2018 I'm so sorry you got a negative result. Take care of yourself, booking a holiday sounds like a great plan. XX

IVFAugust - So sorry to read about your BFN. Sending enormous hugs your way. This is such a cruel game.

Thank you for all the support you’ve shown me and others on this thread. Your kindness and compassion have shone through.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Wishing you all the luck in the world for your FET. I shall be keeping everything crossed that you will get that elusive BFP very very soon. 🍀🍀🍀

CatRen - To be honest, IVF or not, I think I’d have an anxiety ridden first trimester. I’ve had two losses previously under six weeks (whilst ttc#1), so I know how much of a rollercoaster these early days can be.

I’m also very conscious this time around that if I do suffer a loss, it won’t simply be a case of trying again naturally next month and hoping for the best - it could take a really long time and a huge amount of money to get back into this position. I’m trying to take each day as it comes. Hopefully, if this pregnancy progresses (and I do feel it’s a big if), I will start relaxing a bit after the 12/20 weeks scans (assuming I get that far and they don’t reveal any issues).

I get your point though - after being anxious throughout my pregnancy with DS, I was really hopeful that second time around, I’d get pregnant ridiculously quickly and have the happy ever after, just to experience that slightly less anxious pregnancy for once, but alas, life didn’t quite work out that way.

I'm so sorry ivfaug that's really sad news. Its so, so shit. Rest up, take it easy and totally understand your need to step away from mn for a bit. Thanks so much for all your support on these threads, I'm really hoping you get your bfp. Take care xx

How's everyone doing?

Ive had a weekend of mid level drinking and oyster eating so need to rain things in big time...

@CatRen27 got it all out of your system ready for transfer on Tuesday? Tea total from now on!
This 2ww is killing me!!! OTD is Friday, it's gonna be a long week.

That's right @snowfee, didn't over do it but with several celebrations this weekend it was also a little unavoidable! Eek the end of the tww is on the horizon for you! What have you been doing to distract yourself?