Cycle Buddies March/April

[bjonesreborn]

I know its a bit early but I am awaiting for AF to arrive this month so we can start our second fresh IVF cycle.
Our history is I'm 41, ttc 3 years now, unexplained infertility. AMH is 1.7 We had a fresh cycle last year (march/April as well!) and had 2 embryos put back. They stuck until 9dp5dt.
We have changed clinics - as I couldn't go back to the first one, nothing they did wrong really, just in my head I couldn't go back there.
New clinic does seem more thorough, so we are going to be on different drugs, still buserelin to down reg but then onto Menopur. I am going to have the scratch this time too.
Last year the cycle buddies thread on here was invaluable to me so if anyone else is starting soon it would be lovely to have the support.

BJones- all you can eat breakfast?! I’d say get your moneys worth sir and eat until they close 😜

Hi ladies hope you are all well.
Arh how romantic bjones, top marks for your OH! Hope you have had a lovely break and enjoyed a massive breakfast! It took my DH 10 years to propose (we married last summer), so there's still hope for you yet!
Ditto for you dildoos, there's still hope, but promise us, no more testing!
Yes pleased I don't have to inject 6 times a day. I just have dissolve six powers with 1/2 waters and inject once (phew!).

Hi ladies, hope you are all doing okay. We've got our scan on Monday which I can't wait for to see how things are progressing. Hopefully all is good and I'll start on the Menopur from Tues!
@Yorkshirelass27 6 powders! 🙈 Is that the Menopur injections?
@dildoos I can imagine it must be SO difficult to not test early (I just know I'm going to be a nightmare during our 2ww) but there is defo a reason why the clinics say two weeks so don't be disheartened!!
@bjonesreborn What a lovely surprise for you! We've just got back from a well needed night in the Lake District with our Labrador, did us the world of good as I don't know about anyone else but my hubby and I have found this all pretty stressful and we've been bickering loads this past week!! Was lovely to get away for a bit of R&R x

Hi,
It's called Merional xstephaniex and lol be on 450. Seems quite high compare to others.
Glad to hear you had a nice break in the Lakes. A change of scenery can really help.
Had another baby bomb form my best friend last night, who wanted to tell me all about her progress, the nursery details etc. She's asked to come and see me, (had non related operation a couple of days ago), but I've said I'm not up to it. I don't think I can handle hearing/seeing everything when I'm so close to starting my next round. I want to be in the best possible head space.
Hope you are all having a relaxing weekend x

Aw @Yorkshirelass27 I totally understand how you feel. I think it's probably wise to just make your excuses and not put yourself in a position which may make you feel awful, especially when you're just about to go again. I have this intense worry about when my friend (who I know is trying) tells me she's pregnant, I'm worried I'll just cry and make the whole situation really awkward 🙈 It's not that we're unhappy for them it's just so hard to not be emotional when it comes so easily to others!
For anyone who struggles to relax I'd highly recommend downloading 'Mindful IVF' - I've never meditated before but it has a session for each day of your cycle and I find it really helpful! X

I did have a lovely time and ate way toooo much at the breakfast...so much so I didn’t eat again yesterday!!
XStephanieX good luck for Monday scan. I am also a huge fan of Mindful IVF, I listen ever night at bedtime and invariably fall asleep 😳 so never sure if I should listen to it again!! Clearly it relaxes me though.
yorkshire sorry to hear about the baby bomb, I really feel for you and just see your friend when you are ready.
dildoos all ok with you? No more tests?!
Afm feel like I have a bit of a dull ache in my tummy today- I think, it’s so hard as sure I imagine symptoms. Though I def have sore boobs but that must just be the damn pessaries!!! A bit fed up of the few people that know in rl texting me everyday “how are you?” So today they got the “ please don’t keep asking me, I know it’s because you care but you’ll be the first to know if any news “ hopefully that’s done the trick. I know they’re trying to be nice but they don’t get it (as haven’t had ivf) and it doesn’t help me being asked all the time. Am I bitching about my best friends? Probably, sorry I do love them dearly.
We went to friend for supper tonight, I have discovered i’m Much better off out of the house as distracted. Wondering where I can go tomorrow!!! Have a happy Sunday everyone

Good morning all
XstephanieX - good luck with your scan! I bet the going away helped relaxed you ready for the start! Not long now!
Yorkshire- bless you , yes well avoided you don’t need to hear all that! I feel for you. I really struggled with my sisters 2nd pregnancy since we started trying as it felt like a salt in wound moment I couldn’t avoid! I felt so bad as was my sister! The little one is now 5 and still we are here 🙄
BJones yes I had all them symptoms , however they’ve now all totally gone 🤔
I would have to lie and say I haven’t tested again but I have 😱 and this am again got a negative.
I dot. Have sore boobs, I have a few tummy cramps after putting pessarie in and I feel nothing other than that heavy feeling before a period.
Tomorrow would be the day I started bleeding in my 2 ww. So I’m now just waiting for it sadly. OTD this Thursday and I’m not feeling it at all, more tearful as I know this was the last chance we had.
Sorry ladies for my very meh! Update x

Sorry to hear it was a negative dildoos. How are you doing today? Please don't apologise, vent away. Do you mind me asking if you have been funding your cycles? Thinking of you, hope you are ok.

Hope the scan goes well today xstephaniex. Yes, I've started listening to the mindful ap. I find his accent fascinating!

How are you doing bjones? Hope you are not still getting bombarded with texts. Think you did the right thing sending that text. Sure your friends mean well, but it's just extra pressure.

Feel guilty not seeing much of my friend during her pregnancy, but she isn't the most sensitive (I understand she's really excited) and at the moment I can't put myself through it. I've also made excuses to another friend who wants to tell me all about the arrival of her grand daughter. Guess I can't always hide away though.

dildoos how are you today? I know nothing any of us says will help but please try and hang in there til Thursday, not long.
XStephanieX hope scan goes well, do let us know.
yorkshire I LOVE his accent too!! Hope you are ok, countdown is on for you starting.
Afm no more texts so that did the trick. Bit worried today as don’t really feel anything, last night had a couple of twinges in my tummy but that’s it. And my boobs are a bit sore, but think that is lessening. Thought about going to buy a test but just way too early so wouldn’t tell me anything either way.

Thank you all, I’m afraid I’m still feeling 😢 still negative tests this am, still crampy aches down legs and into back just like period pains. No bleeding ........yet!
Yes I’m self funding.
I am lucky that I have a 10 year old daughter from my previous marriage (her bio father chooses not to see her since she was 3) my new partner (8 years) chose to take her on as his very own, so we do have a daughter , however he hasn’t been blessed with a biological child but this still means we are not entitled to nhs treatment.
So far we have spent £7600 on two round of ivf though access fertility , then £3000 each time for medication (I have intralipids.)
I have paid this 3 times even though this is our 2nd round because the first time 2 days prior to egg collection a parent bought a child in saying they were teething, sadly it was slapped cheek and my clinic said no way would they go ahead until I had a blood test proving i had immunity and the lab couldn’t culture any quicker than 7 days so this round was aborted and I lost all cost of medicines and the parents didn’t Even offer to fund any of it , even though i had been honest and asked to not bring ill children and I would refund days.
Then I’ve had the 2 rounds that did go ahead
All in all a total of £16,700 spent and we can’t realsitically afford to pay for another round 😢 there has to be a limit.

Meh!

Anyway
Bones how you doing ? XstephanieX? Yorkshire?
Heart if your still there sending hugs!

Hi ladies, hope you're all okay. I'm away in London with work all this week so been a bit manic.
I had my scan and bloods on Monday and the Buserelin is doing the trick and my lining was nice and thin and hormone levels low so I started on my Menopur yesterday. Had a mini meltdown mixing all the liquids and powders which took ages then accidentally squirted half the liquid out before I injected so had to start all over again 😣😣😣 Lessons learnt though and managed it fine this morning!
@dildoos @Yorkshirelass27 how are you both doing?
@bjonesreborn how are you feeling? No tests yet??
X

XStephanieX great news! I was on menopur too, but lucky my oh did all the mixing and injecting. what dose are you on? When is your next scan?
yorkshire all ok with you?
dildoos otd tomorrow for you. Are you ok? Really feel for you
afm I'm hanging on in there, now 7dp2dt so half way. I just don't know whats going on down there, its all such a headf**@k*. But now I guess I can countdown the days. No tests, I have been tempted to go buy one but to be honest if its negative I would just give up and if it was positive I wouldn't believe it anyway!!!!

Hi,
xstephaniex good to hear the meds are doing their job! Injecting can be a nightmare, I remember getting in a right pickle the first time I did it (& it took me ages as I read over and over what I had to do!).
Those 7 days have flown by bjones, although perhaps not quite as quickly for you. Hope you are managing to keep yourself busy.
dildoos hope you are ok. My situation is similar to yours, just reversed- my DH has children from a previous relationship (2 of which hate my guts) and so although I have never had children, we have to pay for treatment. After next week we will have spent 10k on it. As you said, as hard as it is, it's not realistic to keep throwing money at it. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

Currently waiting for AF and then start injecting. Off work for the next few weeks, so hopefully won't be as stressful as last time.

Evening all ,
XstephanieX - glad to hear the mixing is going better, by the end you’ll be a pro and seeing GP jobs you could apply for 😝
Or is that just me feeling I’m now qualified?
Yorkshire - I bet your getting excited to start again now, step kids can be tough, my bio father to my daughter had children, sadly their mummy had too much to say to her very young daughters , but they soon knew and made up own minds , I hope yours come round too!
BJones- your being really good and holding your nerve ! Fingers, toes, legs crossed for that BFP!

News here is that I started bleeding yesterday and in full period swing today , still negative test and typically have to take one tomorrow OTD for the clinic.
As a family we are devastated as this was our last chance saloon, my DP talked about it all last night and has asked I go on the contraceptive pill as he can’t face seeing me in mental and physical pain during the IVF and when having miscarriages.
So we’ve come to the end of the road , unexplained infertility, somethings were just not meant to be.

I would like to wish you all the very very best wishes for all your journeys! I hope you all reach your dream goal!
Much love xxx

dildoos I am so so sorry. Infertility (particularly unexplained) is so shit. Take care of yourself. 💐 xx

So sorry dildoos. You must both be finding this very difficult to computer right now. Hope you and your DP manage to get some time together, away from the pressures of everyday life.
Sending lots of love xx

*compute xx

Thank you all.
It’s really hard at the moment but I’m ever thankful for my daughter, I feel such pain mainly for my DP and not being able to give him a biological child of his own but he says my daughter and I are all he needs. This makes it harder!
Today my report came through from the clinic.
I was under the impression my embryo was of good quality , but what I’ve googled is it in fact wasn’t! So feeling cross as if I hadn’t had it put back and it got taken to blast and failed we would still have been able to have another shot under access fertility!

Hi dildoos I have no idea about grading but surely you can talk to the clinic, it doesn’t seem terribly fair. Was it their decision to put it back at day 2. You poor thing, your dh sounds lovely though.
yorkshire and xstephaniex how are you both?
Afm i’m Getting more and more anxious the closer the day gets. I feel like i’m In some sort of living hell to be honest. Had a text from my best friend today they went for their 12 week scan (this is the one that’s only been trying since Xmas!) and she’s having twins. She said it wasn’t really what she wanted. I very nearly screamed and shouted at her but refrained. We have managed not to tell anyone in rl when our otd is, I got bombarded with texts last year. This way I figure if it fails I can tell them in my own time and if it works we can have at least a day of just the 2 of us knowing. Wish I could go to sleep and wake up on Wednesday. Hope you all have a good weekend x

Hi,
dildoos not surprised you are feeling cross about it. Who's decision was it? Hoping you and your DP are ok.

bjones I am impressed you used so much refrain on that phonecall, don't think I would have done so well. Some people just don't have a clue huh? The 2ww is torture, have you had any symptoms? Hope you are managing to keep busy to take your mind off it temporarily. I think as few people knowing your otd is a good idea, I've not told as many people this time, gives you more time to process and less explaining. Got everything crossed for you

So currently waiting for AF, should be today, although no signs as yet. Had a smear test yesterday, thought I'd ease myself back into it all by starting with that! 😏
Have a lovely weekend all x

Edit -currently waiting for AF- should read she has arrived so it's full steam ahead.
Hope the sun has been shining where you are. Mini heatwave given for end of next week...! So bjones do you think I am I ok to put the sledge back in the garage?!

Yeay yorkshire for af arriving, may it be your last one for a long time!!
I don’t know if i’ve got symptoms to be honest, it’s so hard to tell, my boobs hurt a bit and def had some twinges last night but in all honesty I just don’t know. Also it’s tough as at the ripe old age of 41 i’ve never seen a positive pregnancy test so I really don’t know how/what i’m Supposed to feel. Only 4 sleeps until otd and i’ve Just picked up a couple of days work for mon and tues so I will be busy and they should fly by.
I think you can put your sledge away yorkshire, i’m A bit sad you never actually came and rescued me!!!
Enjoy the sunshine ladies

Well bjones, it has been known to snow late April, so should it arrive again, gimme a shout. I'll definitely be there- even if it's just to see the look on your face!
How are you doing? Glad to hear you are keeping your mind active, Wednesday will soon be here.
I'm at the clinic early tomorrow morning for the first scan- think this is probably one of the worse bits for me!

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

yorkshire I may just hire a snow machine just so I can call on you!!
I’m ok thanks, today hasn’t been great, am feeling anxious as this was the day that I started bleeding last year. Not that there’s any rhyme or reason to it all but think will be relieved tomorrow morning if knicker watch is clear. (Of course I am well aware that no bleeding doesn’t mean it’s necessarily worked either)
Brilliant that you are getting going. Good luck for scan in the morning,
will be thinking of you