Cycle Buddies March/April

[bjonesreborn]

I know its a bit early but I am awaiting for AF to arrive this month so we can start our second fresh IVF cycle.
Our history is I'm 41, ttc 3 years now, unexplained infertility. AMH is 1.7 We had a fresh cycle last year (march/April as well!) and had 2 embryos put back. They stuck until 9dp5dt.
We have changed clinics - as I couldn't go back to the first one, nothing they did wrong really, just in my head I couldn't go back there.
New clinic does seem more thorough, so we are going to be on different drugs, still buserelin to down reg but then onto Menopur. I am going to have the scratch this time too.
Last year the cycle buddies thread on here was invaluable to me so if anyone else is starting soon it would be lovely to have the support.

[Yorkshirelass27]

Hi xstephanie hope the call was positive this afternoon. Fingers crossed your right ovary behaves. Got everything crossed for you.
Injections are getting better thanks- it was first time lucky this morning (rather than third!). Started getting hot flushes, which in the weather we've had today is not funny!
Scan on Monday to see when I'm pulling the trigger.
Hope everyone has had a relaxing day x

[XstephanieX]

@Yorkshirelass27 Hope you're doing okay and getting used to the injections again. I'm pretty much fine with them now although I still get myself in a tizz sometimes as they are such a fanny on!!
We had our scan yesterday (ahead of EC on Monday) and they can't see my right ovary as I have a large cyst (which I've had for years) and could only see 3 follicles on my left. I felt so upset yesterday as I was really hoping for a few more to give us the best chance possible (and maybe some to freeze!) but feeling a lot better now. Just trying to stay positive and hope there are some hidden on my right ovary and trying to remember its quality not quantity!
Waiting for a call this afternoon to see if we are still going ahead with EC on Mon or if they want me to continue Menopur for a few more days.
Hope everyone else is doing okay x

[XstephanieX]

@dildoos So sad that you also didn't get your BFP :( Thinking of you and hope you're feeling okay x

[XstephanieX]

Sorry I've been away for the past week, it has been a bit emotional and up and down!
@bjonesreborn I am so so sorry that you haven't had the result we all hope and wish for, you may feel differently after a rest and I know you may not read this but taking some time out to recharge your batteries is defo a good plan xx

[Yorkshirelass27]

I'm so sorry to hear your news bjones, had been thinking about you and willing everything to be ok. This situation is so shite and cruel, and must be especially hard when you make progress.
Totally understand you taking time off here, it's exactly what I did last time. However, if you ever want to rant/vent/make plans for the next snow day please feel free to pm me.
Thank you for your support over the past couple of months and your best wishes. Please take care xx

[bjonesreborn]

yorkshire the ninja injector- has a ring to it! I really hope everything works for you this time and you don’t have to go to next steps.
As expected i’m Officially out. Last time we got to 9dp5dt and this time to 10dp2dt. I don’t understand why I get so fucking close and then ‘boom’ hopes and dreams shattered. I really thought it would be different this time. I’m going to stay away from mumsnet for a while but really wish you all the luck in the world and I will pop back to see how you’re doing. If you’re ever in the area with your sledge do pop in. Thanks for the support and the laughs over the past couple months. Take care xx

[Yorkshirelass27]

Morning bjones, when I was notified someone had posted today, I actually said out loud, please let it be positive news for you. Hold on in there until tomorrow, like you said there is still a glimmer of hope- I keep reading about ladies who bleed even though pregnant. I truly have got everything crossed for you and will be thinking about you tomorrow.

Although the injection took almost 20 minutes to sort (!), I'm hoping that's because I'm a bit rusty and will be mixing those powders like a ninja within a few days.
I know it's wrong but already thinking about what our next step will be if this doesn't work out. I've even started looking at clinics abroad. I know we can't keep throwing money at it indefinitely though.

[bjonesreborn]

yorkshire how did your injections go?
Afm otd tomorrow. But think i’m out as started bleeding last night. Tmi but was a bit of brown but this morning has turned to red. I cannot believe it, yet again I have got so close. I guess there’s still a glimmer of hope until I only see one line but i am not holding out hope. I don’t know if we can go through this again.

[bjonesreborn]

yorkshire I may just hire a snow machine just so I can call on you!!
I’m ok thanks, today hasn’t been great, am feeling anxious as this was the day that I started bleeding last year. Not that there’s any rhyme or reason to it all but think will be relieved tomorrow morning if knicker watch is clear. (Of course I am well aware that no bleeding doesn’t mean it’s necessarily worked either)
Brilliant that you are getting going. Good luck for scan in the morning,
will be thinking of you

[Yorkshirelass27]

Well bjones, it has been known to snow late April, so should it arrive again, gimme a shout. I'll definitely be there- even if it's just to see the look on your face!
How are you doing? Glad to hear you are keeping your mind active, Wednesday will soon be here.
I'm at the clinic early tomorrow morning for the first scan- think this is probably one of the worse bits for me!

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

[bjonesreborn]

Yeay yorkshire for af arriving, may it be your last one for a long time!!
I don’t know if i’ve got symptoms to be honest, it’s so hard to tell, my boobs hurt a bit and def had some twinges last night but in all honesty I just don’t know. Also it’s tough as at the ripe old age of 41 i’ve never seen a positive pregnancy test so I really don’t know how/what i’m Supposed to feel. Only 4 sleeps until otd and i’ve Just picked up a couple of days work for mon and tues so I will be busy and they should fly by.
I think you can put your sledge away yorkshire, i’m A bit sad you never actually came and rescued me!!!
Enjoy the sunshine ladies

[Yorkshirelass27]

Edit -currently waiting for AF- should read she has arrived so it's full steam ahead.
Hope the sun has been shining where you are. Mini heatwave given for end of next week...! So bjones do you think I am I ok to put the sledge back in the garage?!

[Yorkshirelass27]

Hi,
dildoos not surprised you are feeling cross about it. Who's decision was it? Hoping you and your DP are ok.

bjones I am impressed you used so much refrain on that phonecall, don't think I would have done so well. Some people just don't have a clue huh? The 2ww is torture, have you had any symptoms? Hope you are managing to keep busy to take your mind off it temporarily. I think as few people knowing your otd is a good idea, I've not told as many people this time, gives you more time to process and less explaining. Got everything crossed for you

So currently waiting for AF, should be today, although no signs as yet. Had a smear test yesterday, thought I'd ease myself back into it all by starting with that! 😏
Have a lovely weekend all x

[bjonesreborn]

Hi dildoos I have no idea about grading but surely you can talk to the clinic, it doesn’t seem terribly fair. Was it their decision to put it back at day 2. You poor thing, your dh sounds lovely though.
yorkshire and xstephaniex how are you both?
Afm i’m Getting more and more anxious the closer the day gets. I feel like i’m In some sort of living hell to be honest. Had a text from my best friend today they went for their 12 week scan (this is the one that’s only been trying since Xmas!) and she’s having twins. She said it wasn’t really what she wanted. I very nearly screamed and shouted at her but refrained. We have managed not to tell anyone in rl when our otd is, I got bombarded with texts last year. This way I figure if it fails I can tell them in my own time and if it works we can have at least a day of just the 2 of us knowing. Wish I could go to sleep and wake up on Wednesday. Hope you all have a good weekend x

[dildoos]

Thank you all.
It’s really hard at the moment but I’m ever thankful for my daughter, I feel such pain mainly for my DP and not being able to give him a biological child of his own but he says my daughter and I are all he needs. This makes it harder!
Today my report came through from the clinic.
I was under the impression my embryo was of good quality , but what I’ve googled is it in fact wasn’t! So feeling cross as if I hadn’t had it put back and it got taken to blast and failed we would still have been able to have another shot under access fertility!

[Yorkshirelass27]

*compute xx

[Yorkshirelass27]

So sorry dildoos. You must both be finding this very difficult to computer right now. Hope you and your DP manage to get some time together, away from the pressures of everyday life.
Sending lots of love xx

[bjonesreborn]

dildoos I am so so sorry. Infertility (particularly unexplained) is so shit. Take care of yourself. 💐 xx

[dildoos]

Evening all ,
XstephanieX - glad to hear the mixing is going better, by the end you’ll be a pro and seeing GP jobs you could apply for 😝
Or is that just me feeling I’m now qualified?
Yorkshire - I bet your getting excited to start again now, step kids can be tough, my bio father to my daughter had children, sadly their mummy had too much to say to her very young daughters , but they soon knew and made up own minds , I hope yours come round too!
BJones- your being really good and holding your nerve ! Fingers, toes, legs crossed for that BFP!

News here is that I started bleeding yesterday and in full period swing today , still negative test and typically have to take one tomorrow OTD for the clinic.
As a family we are devastated as this was our last chance saloon, my DP talked about it all last night and has asked I go on the contraceptive pill as he can’t face seeing me in mental and physical pain during the IVF and when having miscarriages.
So we’ve come to the end of the road , unexplained infertility, somethings were just not meant to be.

I would like to wish you all the very very best wishes for all your journeys! I hope you all reach your dream goal!
Much love xxx

[Yorkshirelass27]

Hi,
xstephaniex good to hear the meds are doing their job! Injecting can be a nightmare, I remember getting in a right pickle the first time I did it (& it took me ages as I read over and over what I had to do!).
Those 7 days have flown by bjones, although perhaps not quite as quickly for you. Hope you are managing to keep yourself busy.
dildoos hope you are ok. My situation is similar to yours, just reversed- my DH has children from a previous relationship (2 of which hate my guts) and so although I have never had children, we have to pay for treatment. After next week we will have spent 10k on it. As you said, as hard as it is, it's not realistic to keep throwing money at it. Thinking of you and sending hugs.

Currently waiting for AF and then start injecting. Off work for the next few weeks, so hopefully won't be as stressful as last time.

[bjonesreborn]

XStephanieX great news! I was on menopur too, but lucky my oh did all the mixing and injecting. what dose are you on? When is your next scan?
yorkshire all ok with you?
dildoos otd tomorrow for you. Are you ok? Really feel for you
afm I'm hanging on in there, now 7dp2dt so half way. I just don't know whats going on down there, its all such a headf**@k*. But now I guess I can countdown the days. No tests, I have been tempted to go buy one but to be honest if its negative I would just give up and if it was positive I wouldn't believe it anyway!!!!

[XstephanieX]

Hi ladies, hope you're all okay. I'm away in London with work all this week so been a bit manic.
I had my scan and bloods on Monday and the Buserelin is doing the trick and my lining was nice and thin and hormone levels low so I started on my Menopur yesterday. Had a mini meltdown mixing all the liquids and powders which took ages then accidentally squirted half the liquid out before I injected so had to start all over again 😣😣😣 Lessons learnt though and managed it fine this morning!
@dildoos @Yorkshirelass27 how are you both doing?
@bjonesreborn how are you feeling? No tests yet??
X

[dildoos]

Thank you all, I’m afraid I’m still feeling 😢 still negative tests this am, still crampy aches down legs and into back just like period pains. No bleeding ........yet!
Yes I’m self funding.
I am lucky that I have a 10 year old daughter from my previous marriage (her bio father chooses not to see her since she was 3) my new partner (8 years) chose to take her on as his very own, so we do have a daughter , however he hasn’t been blessed with a biological child but this still means we are not entitled to nhs treatment.
So far we have spent £7600 on two round of ivf though access fertility , then £3000 each time for medication (I have intralipids.)
I have paid this 3 times even though this is our 2nd round because the first time 2 days prior to egg collection a parent bought a child in saying they were teething, sadly it was slapped cheek and my clinic said no way would they go ahead until I had a blood test proving i had immunity and the lab couldn’t culture any quicker than 7 days so this round was aborted and I lost all cost of medicines and the parents didn’t Even offer to fund any of it , even though i had been honest and asked to not bring ill children and I would refund days.
Then I’ve had the 2 rounds that did go ahead
All in all a total of £16,700 spent and we can’t realsitically afford to pay for another round 😢 there has to be a limit.

Meh!

Anyway
Bones how you doing ? XstephanieX? Yorkshire?
Heart if your still there sending hugs!

[bjonesreborn]

dildoos how are you today? I know nothing any of us says will help but please try and hang in there til Thursday, not long.
XStephanieX hope scan goes well, do let us know.
yorkshire I LOVE his accent too!! Hope you are ok, countdown is on for you starting.
Afm no more texts so that did the trick. Bit worried today as don’t really feel anything, last night had a couple of twinges in my tummy but that’s it. And my boobs are a bit sore, but think that is lessening. Thought about going to buy a test but just way too early so wouldn’t tell me anything either way.