Thread 33 | TTC1 | From warm wombles to needles and exploding boobs - we've got it covered. Join us - we love to talk!

[Jamon]

Join me TTC1ers xx

Sorry, roule, know that feeling - good for you for going, and having fun (for the most part)

OMG kwick!! Congratulations - I know it's a long road, but so happy for you xx

Thanks for the support guys - still feeling a bit sorry for myself, need to snap out of it

Hope you're having OK Sundays, xx

I'm starting to think infertility is actually making me unwell. Depression and anxiety. I'm considering going to my asshole gp (who told me to have 'more miscarriages') because it's starting to make me feel that unwell.

Am I alone in that?? What could my gp do beside give me a counselling leaflet which I would never be able to go to because of work??

@physicskate I am sorry to hear how much this is all affecting you.
I think that counselling could be helpful, especially if they understand Fertility.
In my old job - where I travelled abroad 2-3 days every week - I managed to have 9 treatments, two of which resulted in a BFP.
In a few more jobs before, again I was constantly travelling I managed to see a counsellor every week for years, in the evening.
If you need to do something you owe it to yourself to work it out otherwise what the fuck is the point of all this?
Right I will step off my soap box now!

Please go to your GP kate infertility is linked to depression and anxiety and if these are becoming overwhelming you need to get help. Lots of us have busy stressful jobs but in the grand scheme of things you just have to prioritise your health. If you had a stroke or heart attack tomorrow your school would cope. Book an appointment this morning.

Please make sure you look after your mental health as well as you can too - exercise, meditate, talk to friends, be kind to yourself. You can get through this and you will get to where you want to be. X

physics the others have said it too, but just wanted to reassure you that you're not alone if you're feeling the impact of trying to conceive on your mental health - please don't write off counselling due to difficult working hours (though I get totally get it)

If you're feeling depressed or anxious, definitely seek help - your GP may not be such an asshole around mental health, or maybe you could see someone else at the surgery? If not, you could try a first step with a mental health charity helpline, eg Mind? Take care of yourself xx

Thank you Dia, Quiet, Kate and a congrats to you, Kwick!

Hope everyone is doing okay?

I did nothing special in the run up to this cycle, other than went out walking more as I have a dog this time round!

The differences between this cycle and 1st cycle are:

I was taking Norethisterone to begin with for 1st cycle. Didn’t have to do this for this cycle.

Last cycle Menopur was 150. This cycle I was on 225 so an extra vial.

The trigger shot was also different, on 1st cycle, it was Pregnyl and this cycle was Ovitrelle.

Frau, I STILL haven’t bought any tests yet, I am going to get one on Saturday afternoon and stick it in the bathroom cupboard. Sunday morning is OTD.

I had mild cramping on Wed, which was 72 hours after ET but other than that, no symptoms really. Boobs are a bit tender but more like AF due tender, no spotting at all, yesterday had low ache every know and then like AF due, sharper cramp this morning but didn’t last long... but I’m not ruling anything out until Sunday morning. Including today, I have 6 days of ‘What if I AM’ left so will hold on to that for now!

@Physics, my first IVF I suffered from depression. You are definitely not alone. My dh practically begged me to go to the doc but I didn’t want to waste the docs time because I was feeling ‘all sad’. I’m glad he made me. I was determined that my appointment with the doctor would be 15 minutes tops and instead I was in there with him for an hour, sobbing my heart out.

It does help to see someone. Please do see someone if you can or call someone because the longer you leave it, the worse it could be for you and it starts to affect everything in your life. Like Quiet said, Mind is an excellent source of information. My friend who suffers from depression and anxiety sent me this link a while ago on how to contact them when he recognised how I was feeling:

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

It really does help to just spill your guts to a stranger who knows where you’re coming from. I hope that you’ll be feeling more like your usual self soon, it’s bloody heartbreaking being in this situation and please remember it is NOT your fault that you’re in this stupid infertility mess. None of it is our fault, it’s just how our bodies are and we are doing the best we can right now to get to where we want to be. Big hugs.

Hi,

I was a long time TTCer on this thread but dropped off a few months ago. As much as I hate rejoining for entirely selfish reasons, I just have to because my worry and paranoia has reached new heights.

Basically, I started IVF treatment at a clinic in Beijing (for work related reasons I won’t go in to) and had my transfer last week. As a joke, a friend of mine sent me a URL about a fertility clinic in China who used pig sperm instead of human sperm for their procedures. I found it funny at the time but it’s recently come to light that the clinic I go to also handles panda sperm and eggs for China’s ongoing Giant Panda conservation effort.

Now I know I’m going to sound completely crazy and you can say if that’s the case, but recently I’ve been having really troubling thoughts that I’ve been inseminated with DNA that is half panda. I know it’s impossible for me to have a half-panda child (at least I hope so!) but I’m getting myself increasingly anxious about the vetting processes involved with this clinic. They are not very well known in Beijing and I could imagine them doing some kind of back-hand shady deal like this.

Also, out of no where I’ve had a ridiculous craving for bamboo shoots and have been making stir fries for the soul purpose of eating it. I really don’t think that’s a coincidence...

I’m not sure if I’m asking for advice or a slap but I just wanted to reach out to someone.

@sk1pper Am sorry, but your post made me giggle.
have a friendly slap from me.

Given the prestige and money gone into panda conservation, it is not any indication on the quality of the clinic itself.

I hope you are otherwise well?

@kwick OMG congratulations !!!!! will keep everything crossed for you.

Just dropping in to say a massive congratulations to Kwick!!! 😘😘😘

Skip, omg how are you sweetie? I know we all branched off onto different places recently, Miss your face!!! Congrats on the transfer.

I think I know what clinic you're referring to, one of the girls over in infertility boards has used them. She had a panic too because they lost her husbands sample on the first round. I'm sure you'll be ok, but a panda baby would be super cute!!! Can you email them and ask for them to clarify you haven't been inseminated with panda potion?

Sending best wishes to everyone else!! X

Thanks @HepKestrel and @MouseLove !!

@sk1pper I definitely agree with @MouseLove - you need clarity.
I guess the good news is that given the power of the mum carrying the embryo the baby will most likely look like you?

Still not tested yet. I thInk I am going to make it to OTD!

Something very weird happened just before 4am this morning that I’m really confused about. I was sleeping on my stomach when I woke up at the peak of an orgasm and when that subsided, the most painful sharp period like cramping that I’ve ever experienced happened suddenly. I couldn’t breath for a few seconds and all I could do was lie rigid until it died down. It only went on for about a minute but seemed like bloody hours. I was so sure to see AF this morning but so far nothing. No cramps, no pain, nothing.

All I can think of is it might be AF is imminent OR ligaments that hold the uterus is stretching and pulling.

That’s twice since ET I’ve woken up mid orgasm which is ridiculously weird anyway but this time it was followed by this cramp. I guess it’s just the muscles/ligaments having a stretch. Has anyone else experienced this or am I just a gigantic weirdo?

Hi Everyone!

I hope you are all keeping well!

Frau and Kwik, congratulations! I really hope it works out well for you.

Physicskate, I hope you felt able to go see someone if you are feeling low. You could see another GP if you aren’t comfortable with your usual one. My GP has been very understanding so there are definitely Drs out there who will be able to give you the help you need!

Antonia79- congrats on the number of frosties! Hope you get a good result this weekend, fingers and toes crossed for you. I haven’t had the symptoms you mentioned but if the cramp has settled, hopefully it’s nothing to worry about.. Our bodies are such weird things and theyve been throughly abused by the IVF process..

Quick update from me: had egg collection on Thurs, they got 22 eggs and 15 fertilised via ICSI. Had a day 5 transfer of the 2 best blasts on Tues. they have frozen another 10 embies but 1 was of a bit dubious quality. I know that there is no guarantee of success in first cycle but really hope that I have enough attempts at frozen transfer if this fresh one doesn’t work to have a successful result. Have had symptoms of ‘mild’ OHSS for last 2 days and it really hasn’t felt mild to me! Thankfully, finally feeling better today- tummy was so distended I think I already looked like I wasn’t pregnant! I was so happy to finish with injections last week but back on them again with some blood thinning ones which is a bit frustrating. Has anyone else had OHSS? How long did it take to feel back to normal?

Hope you all have a good weekend. X

Wow @Tiger, that’s fantastic! Absolutely brilliant result of fertilised eggs and Frosties! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you too!

Three days after my ET it felt I had really bad trapped wind pains and I couldn’t get comfy sitting or lying down, I don’t think that’s OHSS though.

@sk1pper I've been wondering how you're doing - but I can see in black and white that you have other giant things to worry about. Without pandering to your concerns, I do think you should get this checked out. That said, a panda baby would be adorable - can I babysit? Also, I love stir fries.

22 eggs?! Wow, I didn't even know that was possible, tiger

Afraid I can't help antonia - perk of treatment?

@physicskate how are you doing? Hope you're OK

Quiet - whilst I know you are trying to make me smile, i am still very anxious about this. It's not normal to crave bamboo and cry every time I'm about to walk over a zebra crossing (it reminds me of dead pandas). I feel like the subject of an experiment, I've seen two Chinese guys loitering in a car outside my property. They pretend to be reading the paper or talking when I leave the house but I know they are from the clinic. What on Earth is going on? The clinic still has some of my eggs on ice and I want them back before they start warping the DNA and doing god knows what else with them.

I can't believe some of the fantastic egg numbers from you guys!! You all seem in a pretty 'good' place for IVF - in that I mean it doesn't seem to be getting you down?? Maybe it's just because IVF is still far away but not that far that I'm a depressed wreck!? Don't even know when it will be but next appt is March. Not sure what tests we will have to do before we get the ball rolling....

Today I turn 34. I started ttc just after 32. And I'm no closer now than I was then... That's sucky. I quit my job yesterday. I think I feel a tiny bit better, but still feeling very very sorry for myself...

Have been having a 'Friends' marathon. Not sure about taking the clomid this cycle or having a cycle off. What if this was the one cycle we would have conceived??

Hi physics,

I think it would be a very rare person who could get through all the fertility investigations and treatment and not feel down about it at some point. I was very low and anxious before we started the IVF process (and probably will be again in the event this cycle doesn’t work...) Every time we did a test, would be on tenterhooks about the results. I even convinced myself that they’d find I had no ovaries the night before my HyCoSy! And whilst it may seem you’re no further along after TTC for 2 years, at least you now know you may need some help conceiving while you are still in your early 30s. Appreciate we’d all prefer not to have any problems at all but I’d say the earlier you know the better! My husband and I made the mistake of waiting too long to buy a home/ right job etc etc and never thought we’d have trouble TTC when everyone else around us seemed to be popping out babies with ease. At any rate am glad that you feel a bit better after handing in your notice, having a stressful job you don’t enjoy doesn’t help with everything else going on.

Hi Sk1pper- I hope you don’t mind me saying something. Whilst I cant comment on the clinic you’re going to, it sounds like you are stressing yourself out over something which is wholly implausible. Could you perhaps move your frosties to a better known clinic in the meantime to give yourself some peace of mind?

Look after yourselves everyone, you all deserve some TLC Xx

Skipper Can you talk to anyone there about how you're feeling? Do you have a GP,.or can you ring your GP in the UK?
What about DH, is he aware of your worries?

If it helps I think the chances of the men outside your house being from the clinic are less than 1%.

I really encourage you to tell people about your worries xx

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing well

I manage to hold off testing until today, my OTD, and I got a strong dark BFP! After eight long years of trying, this is the first ever BFP I’ve ever had. I don’t know what to do, I’ve never gotten this far before. Excited and nervous is an understatement!

Went to Cherish and had a HCG blood test done this morning so that we have a baseline of what my levels are. I know the next 12 weeks are so criticial and it’s in the lap of the gods (so to speak) what happens from now on. All I can do is hope from this point! But right now, I am so happy

Antonia that is so unbelievably fantastic!!! I don't know how you've survived the last eight years! Tips would be appreciated!

I am so thrilled for you - I can't even express in words how much I hope things continue to go well!!

What was different about this cycle?

Congratulations @Antonia79 that is such fabulous news!!

Congratulations @Antonia79 !!!!!!

Antonia! That's great news- congrats. Fingers crossed for the next stage- can understand your caution, but for now, enjoy your BFP

Tiger- Great egg numbers, fingers crossed for your TWW.

Physics- I have already mentioned counselling in another post. I was v low & anxious in October/November last year (after we got the MFI diagnosis) and it has really helped. I think finding a counsellor that 'fits' is important. There is a specific association of counsellors working in infertility https://www.bica.net/holding.php
It may also be worth asking at your F.C.? I have reduced my hours at work, which has helped too. I hope taking a break from teaching helps you also.

Quiet- I hope you are doing ok?

I have my HSG on Thurs- any tips from you knowledgeable ladies?

Hope everyone else is well on this chilly Sunday evening