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Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten

998 replies

Jamon · 17/09/2017 12:40

Hi all. We're a group of first timers who've been plugging away on the conception boards for some time. The support here is amazing so if you're in a similar boat please jump onboard.

Time to hand hold through treatments and support each other through to becoming the mums we deserve to be 💪🏼🌸🙏🏼

Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten
Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten
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sk1pper · 21/11/2017 19:44

Struggle - missed your post lovely, sorry. That’s a good description of your state of mind through this experience 😂, are you allowed to take painkillers now? Or are you managing with the pain? Also, have you taken/got tomorrow off to rest?

KerryLeanne84 · 21/11/2017 20:53

Oh Sk1pper I'm so sorry your oh was being such a dick tonight. 'Why don't YOU go private', fuck off, you're in this together!

Do you think he was disappointed but trying to minimise and then channel it into again? Grr.

Struggle really interesting to hear about the experience. I'm glad it wasn't too bad for you! Good luck for the call tomorrow

Kwick congrats on being PUPO! Lol at the folic acid!

Flash that's great about applying for the job

Winging I'm on cycle 22, so solidarity hug

Penguin I'm so sorry you got your period. The universe is shit :(

Chlo I know this feels like a setback when you were itching to get started, but if sorting out the cyst first will increase your chances of success it's so worth doing. Hang in there. x

Lemonylem · 21/11/2017 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sk1pper · 21/11/2017 21:08

Kerry - I wish that was true but I know him, he just doesn’t really care. It’s not to say he doesn’t want a baby, he does, but I’m definitely getting the feeling that if it doesn’t happen - it’s not the end of the world to him. It feels like I’m pouring my heart and soul into it and he’s just nonchalantly standing to one side. I’m fine now though, I’ve had a nice evening without him 🖕

Lemon - oh god, the incompetence of some people is really astounding. Mid January isn’t too far to be honest with you, with Christmas in the middle it should fly by. Xx

Jamon · 21/11/2017 22:52

Trying to catch up. Can’t believe this thread is filling up so fast! I love you bloody lovely chatter boxes

Struggle that’s a great result, I am cheering them all on xx well done getting through EC you smashed it 💪🏼

Oh skipper what a knob he has been. That’s the last thing you bloody need. It’s not an excuse but I do think infertility hits men as hard but in totally different ways to us. And I don’t think they get the same yearning for a baby either. I think my DH could stop trying and come to terms with it. I don’t think I could. I think partly he carries on because he sees what it’s doing to me. I really hope he comes to his senses and apologised. And I really recommend a counselling session or two - if he’ll consider it.

Kwick you better have your feet up and thermal socks on

Sorry for the setback chlo I would have felt that as a big blow too, but you will bounce back. January is so close, you can focus on getting yourself beautifully healthy and mentally ready for it xx

Sorry about AF winging xx

Flash no apologies required lovely have a massive hug from me xx

Oh lemon how infuriating 😞 honestly staff at these places must be so bloody numb to all this - they don’t seem to be aware of the impact a setback like this can have. I echo what I’ve just said about January though - it really is so close and you can focus on getting yourself in the best place for it to start xx

Pyjamas well done getting the second interview!! Very exciting 😊

Found my second injection easier this evening - definitely getting the hang of it 💪🏼

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Pyjamas81 · 21/11/2017 23:07

Oh skipper - am so sorry to hear your DH has been such a tool this evening 🙁 I hope he’s come to his senses! I echo what jam said - maybe a counselling session or two would help? You’ll all remember that me and my DH were on the brink a few months ago - to the point t where I was really thinking we might not make it. Counselling did us the world of good - we haven’t been for a while, but it so helped us get back on a level playing field where it feels like we’re more like a team and understanding of our differences and how we handle things. I’m not excusing your DH’s behaviour at all, it was out of order, but these reactions often have a root cause that we’re not aware of. My interview is on Tuesday 😱😱

FFS lemon how annoying!! And thanks for your lovely words - fingers crossed!

Have got a mental day at work tomorrow, am so glad interview is next week! The more I think about it, the more I want it. Mustn’t get carried away.

Pyjamas81 · 21/11/2017 23:08

And glad your second injection was easier jam! The first is always the worst!

geeup · 22/11/2017 04:21

Am on holiday so can't really write to everyone but wanted to give you some support @sk1pper - you'll both get through this. Don't let bloody infertility get between you though. It's a fucker xx

sk1pper · 22/11/2017 06:33

Thanks girls, I’ll ask my Doctor about counselling - I have an appointment today anyway 😊. I haven’t spoken to him, I went to bed early and this morning he’s up before me. Bleh...

Well done with your second injection Jam, I’m so excited for you! ❤️

And have a fabulous holiday Gee xx

OverinaFlash · 22/11/2017 11:55

skipper sorry your DH was so unsupportive. I understand that people don't always feel the same, but the least he can do in my opinion is say, actually, I don't necessarily feel the way you do, but I'm here for you to talk to me about how you feel. Do you think he has actually realised what your diagnosis means in terms of your likelihood of conceiving naturally?

Glad to hear the injecting is getting easier Jam. Do you want to set up a new thread or would you rather someone else did it? Thanks for the hug, it was much needed. I went to yoga last night and realised how good it made me feel. I need to take my own advice and give myself time to do the things that make me feel better when I'm starting to feel low.

gee hope you're having a lovely holiday! Where are you holidaying?

lemon that is so bloody annoying! I'm sure it doesn't feel like it, but at least with Christmas etc, the next month or so will seem to go faster than other times of year.

Opinions please. I'm supposed to be going on a work trip to Vietnam in April. However, current Zika risk in Vietnam is moderate, and the advice is that pregnant women postpone non essential travel, and that those TTC don't do so for two months after returning. DH and I both think I should tell my boss that I'm not prepared to travel if I am pregnant/put off TTC (she's aware of my problems after ectopic etc). DH thinks it's not worth the risk and that we've been going for so long we don't want to put off TTC even for a couple of months/to ensure I wasn't pregnant by the time the flights get booked I'd have to stop TTC now until next June! I'm very prone to insect bites, which compounds my fears.

Am I being unreasonable to say to my boss I'm not willing to go (if I say I will go if I'm not pregnant, it would mean potentially telling her the day before, actually I've just found out I'm pregnant and I'm not going, so I'm also trying to be practical in terms of not letting anyone down last minute).

geeup · 22/11/2017 13:24

@OverinaFlash I definitely wouldn't go - either you'll be pregnant (pls god) or you'd have to put off ttc which as you say you really don't want to do for 8 whole weeks. I'd be open with your boss, especially as they know about your ectopic, and just say sorry you're not prepared to travel to a Zika infected country at the moment - you don't have to spell out why. It's perfectly reasonable - if they have men or women of child bearing age working for them, they should never be asking you to go!!

geeup · 22/11/2017 13:25

Ps men who go would have to wait 6 months before they can ttc as it stays in sperm so long!!

Jamon · 22/11/2017 14:14

Flash I agree with gee regarding travel / zika. Not worth the risk and it’ll likely only cause you stress and worry coming up to it

I’m happy to make a new thread, but can I get title suggestions please?

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struggleisreal · 22/11/2017 16:48

Not a great update here today - of my 6, only 4 were mature and only 2 of them fertilised. I know it only takes one but I’m really not feeling positive. We’re pencilled in for transfer on Friday if we get that far xx

sk1pper · 22/11/2017 17:06

Flash - I agree with the others, I wouldn’t want to risk it either and I’d probably wait 6 months after returning before TTC rather than 2.

Struggle - that sounds absolutely gutting hon. Nothing in life ever goes the way we planned though (especially on this thread!) but I’ve still got hope for your transfer on Friday. Would they transfer both or just one if they were both viable? Fingers crossed for you!! Xx

OverinaFlash · 22/11/2017 17:06

struggle I'm really sorry you're not feeling more hopeful. I will keep everything crossed for those two. Flowers

QuietTime · 22/11/2017 19:18

Oh struggle sorry it wasn't better news, but I have everything crossed for transfer xx

flash I agree with the others in swerving the trip - it's not like you've just started TTC or it's a whim; think it's totally fair to put yourself first

skip hope things are getting better with DH - great that you're open to counselling. Have had a slight wobble with DH myself and still haven't talked it through properly - and know we should. It's all so much pressure, isn't it...

kwick · 22/11/2017 20:41

pjs so excited about your 2nd interview!!! I know you will nail it cos you are amazeballs!!

skipper I am so sorry about your argument with DH.... it sounds like he is the one with PMS!! I hope he came back grovelling.

lemony thanks so much for your positive vibes 😘 my shopping was not that glamorous- just cheap clothes and beauty products from Alcampo plus a shed load of turron and some jamon for Christmas.
WTF with the appt muck up!!! Angry

jamon I 💓 you too!!! Maybe you can use the fact that we like to talk in the new thread title? Or something to do with needles? Hmm sorry not very inspiring- sorry!!
I did have my feet up yesterday and this evening too!!! Hot water bottle at my feet!

flash I think you are reasonable to say you cannot travel to Vietnam... IVI had warnings up in both London and Alicante about Zika - it is no joke.

struggle that must be very disappointing- I felt much like this when 16 went down to 4... I know the “it only takes 1” thing holds little comfort but it is true. You just concentrate on having a welcoming womble for the transfer and remember to get your feet & kidneys warm and the fresh pineapple 🍍 in!!! Do you need my “patent pending” 2ww list?

Progesterone pessaries have kicked in with a vengeance- my boobage is about to explode (Jamon maybe more title ideas right there - you’re welcome Wink).

InspectorPenguin · 22/11/2017 21:06

Just popping on very quickly to say sorry Struggle I know that disappointment very well and send you all my sympathy. I know it's probably of very little consolation, but one of my two (from my 20 collected!!) turned into a high quality Day 3 embryo.
No, it didn't work out, but it had as good a chance as any. It is a horrible place to be though, and the wait for the phone call to hear whether they'd made it to transfer was excruciating so I really feel for you.
I hope you have nice stuff to do, or even just work, to take your mind off it a bit Flowers
And try not to incessantly Google various permutations of 'chances of success' like I did!!

To everyone else thank you so much for your lovely words, they really touched me and made me feel stronger just reading them. I have been really busy at work these last few days and so hardly had time to think about things, which has worked out for the best really.

Sk1p I'm sorry to hear about your DH issues, I hope there's been some improvement since yesterday and you're not walking around in stony silence. I know the stress gets to the guys too, but there are ways and means of expressing it and yours just acted like a dick, by the sound of it.

PJs good luck preparing for the interview, Kwick take excellent care of yourself and your cargo, Jam glad the injections are going okay and Gee enjoy your holiday!

Pyjamas81 · 22/11/2017 22:13

Oh struggle I am so sorry you’re disappointed with your results, it’s so hard. No amount of anyone saying ‘it only takes one’ will make you believe it, but it’s true. Only one out of my four fertilised last time and I was absolutely floored when they told me. We went for two day transfer in the end. I’m really rooting for you and your two xxx

Ah thanks kwick! I think you’ve got more confidence in me than I do ha ha. Hope the progesterone symptoms subside! I hate those fucking pessaries.

Hope things are better with your DH skip

I would also miss the trip flash - not worth the worry and extra waiting.

Had support group today which couldn’t have come at a better time - I had massive anxiety last night and have been awake since 3am. So many racing thoughts and going through all the what ifs. I need to focus on the present. I love that support group 😊

JeNeBaguetteRien · 22/11/2017 22:13

Hugs for you Inspector 🐧, well done on keeping busy at work but also go easy on yourself.

Sorry you're feeling disappointed Struggle, have everything crossed for you for tomorrow and the weeks ahead.

Lem a similar thing happened to me, I was allocated an appointment with a 'regular' gynaecologist and not a fertility one. Then had to wait over 3 months, I meant to contact PALS, not to complain in a ranty way but to see if the system could be improved.
Not trying to alarm you but I have been measured and weighed at 2 fertility consultations so far. The first one the scales was a chair to sit on, you put your feet up on a little footrest. They have weighed and measured DH once.
I'm just letting you know in case you don't have the option to tell them the figures yourself.

Jam I'm so tired tonight can't give much in the way of thread titles... Maybe something about keeping your womble warm or I can't remember when Skip's panda dream was... Or mention Kwick's trademark tips or Dame Pyjamas.

Glad you had a good chat with your mum. For various reasons my mother doesn't know, my family can be a bit full on! I may tell my father, he is very discreet.

Anyway goodnight to everyone, good vibes to all.

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Jamon · 22/11/2017 22:48

Kwick excellent work, I can imagine embie getting snuggled in to all this warmth

Big hug for you penguin you are an absolute warrior and rock of strength, it's infectious xx

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