Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten

[Jamon]

Hi all. We're a group of first timers who've been plugging away on the conception boards for some time. The support here is amazing so if you're in a similar boat please jump onboard.

Time to hand hold through treatments and support each other through to becoming the mums we deserve to be 💪🏼🌸🙏🏼

jam confession, I called in sick today too. AF arriving so early just totally.knocked it out of me. I said to DH I just can't do life today. So I'm sitting in the sofa watching Christmas films. I'm sorry you got hit by a baby bomb from.someone so close. I've got two close friends about to give birth and I'm.dreading the messages from them to tell.me their babies are here. Even though of course I want them to be healthy etc. Hugs for you. It is so hard to accept that even the people who love us most can't do anything to make it better.

Skipper lovely to see you and so happy to see that you have made a decision on how to move forward. I can't quite believe how long we've all been at this. Got my fingers crossed for you that 2018 will bring you your much longed for baby.

Oh flash I don’t blame you at all, I wish we could Christmas film together. It’s absolutely true what you said about the people who love you most being unable to help. I think I will say this to Mum to explain why I don’t share more with her. Take care today

On a tiny positive note my doctor told me to drink at least 2 litres of water a day whilst on stims - did anyone else’s clinic say this? DH bought me a fancy new water bottle with a central bit that goes in the freezer to keep your water cold. He struggles to know how to support me so I thought this was sweet.

Big hugs to everyone. This is a shitty shitty road we’re on and I’m so sorry for those who are struggling.

Mouse - I know how you feel. The loss of hope when you miscarry is so cruel and it’s awful for you to have to wait so long. Big hugs to you.

For anyone dreading Christmas- have a read of this pinchofyum.com/holiday-survival-guide-for-sad-people

Question - what would you recommend to improve my lining thickness? Is it all the milk? I’ve got Pom juice, raspberry leaf tea and avocado etc ❤️

Jam - you’ve written that perfectly, that’s why everyone on this thread is a life line. We all understand each other perfectly and we have the guts to say “no, this isn’t okay” and screw anyone who thinks it is. Your mum doesn’t sound like she’s made any effort to understand you or your emotions in the past - I’d see tonight as an opportunity to make her understand. And you’re starting injections?! How exciting

Just popping in (this is one of the threads I follow a bit sometimes) to wish Kwick lots of luck. We were on the same IVF thread about 18 months ago and were at the same clinic (I had the purple coat). Am rooting for you!

@Jamon and @OverinaFlash sorry you're having a harder couple of days. I agree with everything you've said. I had a group WhatsApp message from my best friend today (to our group of girlfriends) saying she'd had her daughter christened. I had to ask who the godparents were (family and her dhs best friend). She said it was family and godparents invited only but I felt oddly upset that a) I wasn't asked to be a godmother (we used to be incredibly close, each other's bridesmaid etc before my infertility fucked everything up) and b) we weren't even invited (even though we're on holiday and couldn't go anyway). I'm having a lovely holiday but equally I've had such a down day since that message, like my friendships are all just basically ruined because I've been so distant for 2 years.
Anyway enough moaning from me. Just came on to say good luck to @kwick !! Hope you're PUPO by now!!

Good luck from me too Kwick xxxxxxx ❤️

Sorry to hear you're feeling crap jam.. I hope you can have a good chat with your mum tonight. That's really sweet of your DH with the water bottle. It's the little things sometimes isn't it. That baby bomb isn't what you need right now, good for you for staying at home and looking after yourself. Sometimes you just need to hide away from the world for a day or two. Exciting that you're getting going though and progressing with the treatment.

skipper that's great that you've made that decision and the appointment isn't too far away. Agree with everything that Jam said, those friends just sound shit. It shouldn't be a comparable situation and it's not a competition whose having the hardest time. If you're a friend, you're there no matter what but it just seems like it's the same old story for so many of us on here. I hope you have other friends you can talk to and get the support you need and deserve.

Thanks for that link kerry.. It puts into words how I"m sure many of us feel.

That sucks geeup, hope you can have a nice time tonight and carry on enjoying your holiday. I'm in a similar position with BF, she told me the other day she's having DH's friend & her sister as godparents and said people get so caught up on this stuff who cares, its so not important. Pretty lame way of letting me know it won't be me then! It's not weird for you to be upset, it's weird that she didn't share any of it with you.

Jamon I think avoiding OHSS is why they tell you to drink a lot of water... and after the retrieval you're supposed to have lots of fluids with electrolytes like sports drinks

lemony could you perhaps bend the truth a little on the height and weight front... I doubt they will weigh you there and then 😬

mouse please do not give up hope. And this thing about not deserving it - what rot! Do I need to come up north and give you a good talking to!!!!!

Looking forward to the moon salutation flash 🧘🏻‍♀️

skipper so nice to see you again!
Um I am rather inclined to agree with your DH... we all have issues/problems and in friendship it is not about saying which are bigger or smaller it is about listening and doing your best to support. This is what I want to say to your “friends” 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

I pleased you are willing to give IVF a try - and 2 Jan is perfect - you can enjoy Christmas guilt free

OMG chlo it is like your shop is a siren calling my name... #shopaholic
How exciting about your appt! Zita West stuff looks good and then things like cayenne and pineapple after treatment. You want lots of blood in the general womble area.

jamon I am up for another meet up!!!
I am so very sorry for your news. Hiw fricking feking hard. You know I am here for you hun - I can even be there for you in person tomorrow avo if you need a shoulder to cry on or a hug?
I am not sure about your relationship with your mum - but if you are normally open with her it may help to open up to her now, especially the bit about her not understanding the path you are on. Best of luck my darling
Have not heard of water consumption during stimms but after treatment stay away from the cold - it diverts blood away from the womble. In my opinion better milk than water 😬

kerry that should do the trick!

Ah polly I had a little cry when I saw your message! How lovely!!! How are you doing?

What is it with so-called “friends”??? 🤬🤬🤬

Lovely to hear from you skip and am really excited for you taking the decision to go for IVF. Sorry your friends are being so unsupportive - none of this should be a competition FFS. Wishing you strength and luck and all good things for the road ahead xxx

So ladies I am PUPO!!!!

I had a nice “little” shopping trip this morning (I think I can just about get it all in the suitcase)!!!

I was called at 12.30 to tell me my appt was 13.30.

It was all so fancy schmancy!!!! Nothing like CRGH!!! I had my own room with an en suite!!!!!!
It was also very hi-tec - I got to see the embryo being “sucked” up from the dish

Anyhoo I am now sitting in the sun with a beach/sea view, having had a nice lunch. Have decided to NOT call into work meeting... just want to chillax and rejoice in this moment. Although the couple beside me having an argument is a bit distracting

Thank you all so much for the well wishes. I honestly do not know how I would have made it this far without you lot. 💓

Sorry @sk1pper I also meant to say hi to you too and I'm pleased you're feeling ready to start the ivf process. We're all in it together.
And congrats @kwick let the cayenne with yoghurt, pineapple and avocado smoothies commence!

Chlo - I’m so glad you’ve all reaffirmed my doubts on this. When someone I know and “think” I trust says that I’m being a drama queen, and there are worst problems in the world - I am very quick to turn on myself.

Ohh Gee so glad you’re still here, how are you doing??

Thanks Quick xx

Worth popping on for that snog from you Kwick - can’t believe it’s all done, this is the one!!!!!! ❤️

I'm ok thanks @sk1pper - some days better than others but generally ok. I'm on holiday (bit of an outing place if my friends stumbled upon here so not saying). Drinking a lot of wine and eating a lot so weight loss plans have gone to shit but we're enjoying just being together with friends. We start downregging when we get back in another week and then FET in early January. Shame to be injecting over xmas but feel good that I'm starting again soon. Desperately hope I'll be third time lucky.
Anything you're worried about we can help you with or are you feeling ok about things at the mo?

Hey everyone, hope you all had nice weekends. Sorry for the quick post-and-run but busy at work and have been away for a long weekend and so have fallen behind with the thread and not read all of the updates just yet.

Firstly - yay Kwick! You are totes PUPO and sounds like you have a lovely afternoon ahead. Totally agree with not doing the work call - today is all about you! And your tiny bunch of cells :)

Sk1p, glad you've made the decision and can now focus on that - it does make a difference mentally I think. Hopefully you can relax and enjoy Christmas and then all systems go for you in the new year.

Jam sorry about your baby bomb and you have every right to indulge in a day off today. That's really sweet your DH bought you a bottle, bless him. My clinic said to drink lots too - it's to prevent against OHSS I believe.

For my update, AF arrived yesterday - while away for my birthday weekend! - so that's IVF #1 written off. Not surprised at all given the way it all went but sad and disappointing nevertheless.
Trying not to let it get to me and focussing on having a nice Christmas - and on all the work I need to catch-up on after being off sick for so long!

Sending love and to everyone else having a rough time of it at the moment too. I think the sadness gets to us all a bit more at this time of year x

Gee - not right now thanks, if I over think it all now I’ll work myself into a right state. I am very nervous of IVF and the stresses and strains of it but I see it as a necessary means to an end now. I will of course be bombarding you all with questions in January. Enjoy your time away, it’s good to blow of steam from time to time. Xx

Penguin - I’m so sorry you didn’t get the result you deserved this time around. Christmas is definitely the upcoming distraction so hopefully that will take your mind off it if you have some nice plans. Massive hug from me.

Very sorry to hear that @InspectorPenguin but hey maybe we'll be cycle buddies in Jan and can handhold through it all. Thinking of you xx

Lots of love to all of you who are struggling at the moment. I’m so sorry that it didn’t work out this time InspectorPenguin and as for those baby bombs, let’s not even go there.

On a more positive note, I’m glad it went well today kwick!

We are starting in Jan too sk1pper so it looks like there will be lots of us to hold each other’s hands. I’m so grateful for all of you guys who are going through this at the moment and sharing your stories, it makes it so much easier to know what lies ahead.

I'm trying to think of it like childbirth @Kathrino - unpleasant but necessary for some of us to get our take home babies. And for those of you facing your first cycle, rest assured it's tough but you do get through it and for me it was nowhere near as bad as I'd imagined. You can and do carry on normal life while you do it. The very fact I'm about to embark on my third is horrible but honestly I think our marriage is the strongest it's ever been and I cry the least I ever had in the past 18 months! We'll get there. All of us.

inspector I am very sorry about AF

geeup will you be off during the injection time? Maybe be easier to not have to combine with work? #everycloud

Umm I know it is really early but I am kind of thinking of having a nice warming shower and going to bed now I am out of the sun I am a tad cold and I know that is not good!!!

Hey @kwick no I'll be working through all the downregging and progynova. The injections don't really bother me too much now - I've done them in restaurants, theatres, even in the loo on a train! I may take a week off after the frozen transfer but depends on work. My last cycle when I had the chemical I actually didn't take time off so I wonder whether it's actually better to keep active/working etc so blood keeps flowing to the uterus. If I am off I may sit around at home a bit too much!
Are you off for a bit now?

Kerry that guide is really sweet and a really helpful reminder that it’s okay to say no to stuff and go into self preservation mode. Will give DH the sports drink instructions!

Skipper she spent the day with me today and quite honestly it’s been amazing. She was exactly what I needed - no judgement just support and love. I can see how much it hurts her to have to watch us go through this. I really really offloaded and told her stuff I had never told her before. We drank a lot of tea, we both cried. I feel a little lighter xx

Hi Polly that’s really sweet of you 😊

Big hug from me gee you know I feel sceptical when people say time is a healer but also don’t rule things out in future - things can look very different and people change. I’m sorry they left you out though, and you shouldn’t blame yourself xx Your comparison to childbirth is such a useful one , and I’m so glad to hear that relationships can be strengthened by this. You are incredibly strong and that strength is infectious xxx

Thanks chlo xx are you starting to get your head around treatment things?

Thank you my dear kwick that’s very sweet of you to offer xx CONGRATS on getting PUPO! 👏🏼 delighted about this and I am cheering your little embie on 🙏🏼

Mouse I am continuing to send you mental good vibes northwards xxx

Penguin I’m so sorry lovely, what rubbish timing too. I’m heartbroken it wasn’t this one for you and will be willing you on when you are ready to try again. A huge hug from me xxxxx

So glad you had this chat with your mum jam and so pleased you feel better for it. I think only family and true true friends can support you through this kind of thing and it must have been so nice to confide in her and lay your feelings on the table. I'm sure she must have gone home relieved too that she knows more about what's going on and pleased to have been able to be there for you x

I think I'm getting my head around it... I'm looking forward to going to the clinic tomorrow and having the appointment with the nurses and having that side of things properly explained. I spent the afternoon with one of my lovely friends who had IVF a few years ago and she's been fantastic and has talked it all through with me which has been great. I guess you don't really know what to expect until you actually start though but am ready for it now.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out this time penguin.. You sound like you're doing an amazing job of keeping your chin up and cracking on. Hugs from me too x

You're definitely not being a drama queen skip but I know how that thought process works, I always think perhaps I'm being too demanding but you're not expecting too much by wanting your friends to show a bit of support. I'm also of the means to an end mindset, think it helps me not overthink it or blow it up into a huge thing.

You are definitely PUPO kwick, wahoo, exciting stuff x