FET Sept/Oct

[Lolly2803]

Hi ladies,
I am due to start an FET in Sept/Oct and wondered if anyone else was too?! Had my first cycle of IVF in August but due to fluid in my uterus and thin lining had to freeze everything. I seem to always have fluid mid cycle, including natural cycles. Very worried that it will always be a problem and will never get to use my embryos. Having a hysteroscopy the week after next to check incase anything in there but doc suspects not. Would be great to have a few buddies! xxx

Hi Ladies! Lolly - are you over the shock yet?

Blue - I'm so sorry to hear about this. You HAVE to kick up a fuss. Just be a massive pain in their ass until they back down. Sometimes with these people, it is genuinely the only way. Do you have any options at all for going private, as a last resort?

Good luck with the scan! What time is it? xx

Blue omg that's awful they are putting you through this. You need to kick us a massive massive fuss and say you want that stitch ASAP (not sure when is optimal time). And them offering it as a "favour" - for fuck sake!!! (Excuse my language). I would be losing my shit at them. "Things might be different this time" i literally cannot believe what I am reading. I would if you can just go privately and have it. You shouldn't have to but just to put your mind at rest and calm you down I would just get it done. Hope you're ok. Sickness is at least a good sign! I know exactly what you mean by the hangover feeling. I feel queasy most of the day but it actually helps when I eat as it stops it for a while.
Good Luck with your scan - is it your first one after BFP? Let us know how you get on!

Bear it still hasn't sunk in! Although the worrying has for sure! I'm quiet twingy/pinchy past two days (nothing painful or severe though) and still feeling queasy. I'm just so worried their heartbeats will just stop or they won't have grown by the time I go back on 23rd and I'll end up losing them. Don't think the worrying will ease for a while.
How are you doing? xxx

Scan is at 3.30. Yes first one after BFP... eek! I had already thought about the private route and already had an appointment with a private GP tomorrow. If she can refer me, it might be covered by PMI. I'm planning to see NHS GP on Friday to explain this fiasco. I could contact the consultant I saw before (but I'm not sure if Pre Term Clinic would agree to see me if i did, something about continuity of care). I could write to the head of the maternity unit to say that 2 of their departments are giving conflicting advice. I'll take stock at the weekend I think.

Thankfully you have a good few weeks to sort it out but seriously - how much more hell do they really want to put you through?! It's unbelievable.

Will be thinking of you at 3.30 - sure everything will be fine.

Lolly - it probably won't sink in for a while to be fair. I'd be going mental ;o)

I'm doing ok, had lots of pressure, twinges and general AF sensations but from what I remember it's all to be expected. My appetite is through the roof but no real nausea or exhaustion yet.

xx

Good Luck Blue! Let us know how it goes. I wouldn't worry about them I'd just focus on getting answers and getting booked in. You're the most important thing at the moment and they need to bloody listen to you!! Sorry I'm angry for you!!

Bear all sounds good, past two weeks I have eaten sooo much. I'm usually not a big eater and super healthy and conscious. But I am literally hungry all the time as it stops me from feeling sick. I'm a bit achey down there today too but they said that was normal. I am going a bit mental, don't know whether I'm coming or going and everything I read online is always bad stories. I might just stay off google and focus on advice from here / my clinic. Otherwise I might literally go insane!!

Thank you ladies. I left work early as I couldn't control the nausea. Was just sick into a sick bag between station and clinic

Lolly everything that you're feeling is pretty normal. As is the ongoing anxiety...

Oh poor you! The state of public transport at the moment, it must be really bad xx

There is a heartbeat 💗It was amazing to see. Such a relief. As I've had a couple of episodes of spotting, they want to see me again in 2 weeks.

I was going to Uber home but at that time of day it was going to take longer than the train! As in all emergencies I called my mum who finished work at 4 and we're going home on the train together. So hungry and thirsty as I haven't had much at all today but can't stand the smell of food!

Aw amazing Blue!!! Was all as it should be? Try not to worry about the spotting. From what I've been reading it's SO common.
What date is your next scan? Mine is 23rd. I'm already feeling nervous!!!

That's great Blue! Hope you got home ok and have your feet up xx

Thanks Bear, yes I'm back now and tucked up, I seem to feel better lying down.

Lolly Yes everything was fine! I have an NHS scan on 22nd and a clinic scan on 28th. So I will get to see lots of little bean! The clinic expect to discharge me at the next scan but I didn't need to wait til then to get into the NHS system. I wasn't worried about the spotting as it's been so infrequent, about once a week, pink blood, only on wiping, but I mentioned it and they wanted the second scan. I didn't have any spotting in my last pregnancy so it's already different.

Aw I'm so glad!! Aw you've got your next one the day before me. We can help keep each other sane - although I might already be too far gone for that.

I am hoping to see my GP on friday as haven't been in contact at all with them yet and I need to get in the system apparently. I'm scared it is getting ahead of myself but I guess you can't wait till the last min for everything!!!

Hello ladies

Sorry not to have said anything for a while, things are really busy right now with work and getting everything sorted for Christmas... Just know that I am lurking and rooting for you all and cheering every bit of good news.

I decided I would stop worrying once I'd seen the heartbeat - bit of a conscious effort at times but we'd better get in practice now otherwise we'll spend the rest of our lives having heart palpitations every time the little darling steps out of the front door

Have a private scan today; booked it to get some pictures for the in-laws and my siblings, none of whom know yet (except my brother, who I told straight away because he lives with us and I used it as an excuse to get him to stop smoking in the back garden )

That's a great approach csa! I really need to do the same.
Been a sad couple of days as my SIL who I'm close with had a miscarriage. She was meant to have her 12 weeks scan on Monday but was confirmed to have a miscarriage yesterday. I was with her last night. Not sure when exactly the baby died. They were trying for two years naturally when it happened so feeling really sad for them. Has also made me realise how precarious these few weeks are so I am trying not to get ahead of myself. Sorry to bring the thread down just feeling a bit sad.

Off to my GP this morning hopefully.

Bet your siblings will be thrilled with your fantastic news csa! We have another scan on 23rd to check things are ok before Christmas xxxx

Agree CSA that sounds like a healthy mindset (I will try but no promises!)

Lolly I'm sorry for your SILs mc. That's the thing I found from being on the pregnancy after infertility thread last time round, hearing of other losses along the way definitely kept me in check. Does she know your pregnant? Good luck with the GP.

I saw my GP this morning, it's the regular GP I've been seeing since my stillbirth and she's really lovely. She's going to write to both the consultant that I saw before and the pre-term clinic and convey my anxieties her concerns about ongoing care. She assures me that they are the experts and to listen to them, and get a second opinion if I am still uncomfortable. The timing is just a little tight because if I'm not happy with the care they want to offer, the appointment is at 13+3 so I don't have much time to get the stitch by the recommended 14 weeks. I spoke to the Miscarriage Association yesterday and the recommend 13-14weeks as the optimum time for the stitch. Feeling a bit more relaxed today. Also turns out it was probably a vomiting bug the other day, it just doesn't sound like any form of morning sickness as it came and went within about 12 hours. Yesterday I was in bed as I was so dehydrated and weak. Feeling better today thankfully.

That's good you've seen your GP Blue. Sounds like she's on the ball and hopefully that's made you feel a bit better. I guess just stay on their case and make sure you get it done within the time frame - whatever it takes! Hope you're feeling better today. A bug is the last thing you need!!

Yes my SIL knows as she was about to start fertility tests after trying naturally for so long. I couldn't let her go through it knowing I'd just done an ivf cycle so I too confided in her. I just feel so sad for her. And selfishly makes me worry about myself even more.
I went to the GP today. I'm 8 weeks tomorrow so thought with the Christmas break coming up I needed to get in the system. All booked in and she said I'll get my booking in and scan dates through the post. She gave me a flu jab and then also a leaflet on what care and scans to expect - but then told me to ignore it after 12 weeks as with twins apparently it's totally different. So I still don't know anything! I'm sure once I've seen the midwife I'll feel like I know a bit more.

Still worrying every day that it'll all go wrong of course. Trying to stay relaxed is hard! Next scan is on the 23rd as I wanted to try and be a bit more relaxed over the Christmas break and thought seeing they were still ok might help. I hope they are!!

Hope you ladies are all doing ok?!

Lolly, I'm so so sorry to hear about your sister in law. How terribly sad for all of you 😢

I'm guessing though that that baby had never had a scan done with visible heartbeat? From what I've heard that's key - once the baby has got a beating heart (which is supposed to happen by 6 weeks, but I'm guessing that of it doesn't the little guy can survive for a while without), miscarriage is hugely hugely less likely. I know late miscarriage is something some of us here have experienced 😢 and they are awful but what I'm saying is try not to worry about what this means for you - unlike your sister in law you've got two confirmed strong heartbeats in there.

Blue, so glad to hear you have a GP on your side! From my experience watching my sister go through serious mental illness, you've got to fight your corner really bloody hard with the NHS, but at the end of the day they're all really overstretched and overworked, so they will often take the line of least resistance if you're insistent and persistent enough (for better or worse; I know GPs who admit in private to prescribing antibiotics to people with viral infections, just to get them to stop complaining ).

My scan went well today - baby has two each of arms and legs (always good!) Couple of things that might not bode so well for us are it's big (2 days bigger than it should be) and VERY mobile!

The scan also pidcked up a possible fibroid and a chorionic (I think?) bleed... She said they weren't anything to worry about so trying to stick to my non-worrying policy...

Csa she never heard the heartbeat. She had some cramping and bleeding at about 6 weeks I think but didn't have a scan or anything. Then of course more over past few days at 11 weeks. She said she hadn't had any pregnancy symptoms at all either which i know doesn't necessarily mean anything. Just feel sad for her.

Glad your scan went well and everything looks as it should. That's great baby is measuring so well!! How far along are you now? xxx

Wonderful news about the scan Blue!

I'm so sorry about your sister in law Lolly, how terribly sad. We only know when our baby died because it was a missed miscarriage and I'd had a scan so recently beforehand. We saw a hb at 7+1 and then again at 8+5 and baby measured perfectly - then at my Panorama scan at 10w there was no hb and baby only measured 9+3, so had died 4 days after the previous scan

Sadly more bad news from me.

Smear test came back with normal cervical results but abnormal cells in the sample - got hold of the cytology report and it says 'non cervical glandular neoplasia - refer to colposcopy, recommend D&C'

I've got an urgent referral through on the 2ww referral pathway. This year has just been a series of 2ww. Colposcopy clinic said they would try and see me asap but they have no clinic slots, and they need to see if the clinicians will put on an extra clinic to see the patients like me on the urgent referral list (obvs Xmas doesn't help)

My lovely consultant told me to send through the cytology results when I got them and bless him he responded to my email within 2h. On a Saturday. He said it's hopefully nothing sinister as I have had 2 normal endometrial biopsies, but glandular neoplasia needed to be investigated and I I should have the colposcopy to be sure. Dr Google threw up guidance from Camden CCG which said only 40 women a year get diagnosed with non cervical glandular neoplasia in London - nothing like being on the shit side of statistics. Said 70% of these were cancerous.

If it weren't for the normal endometrial biopsies I've had this year I'd be losing my mind.

Oh banana I am so sorry. I haven't even heard of these things before. Surely as you say you've had normal biopsies this year it can't be anything sinister? How does this effect waiting for your bleed over xmas? Is that still a key factor. Argh I'm sorry sorry this has been thrown into the mix, the last thing you need!!! Hopefully it'll just be a check to rule it out. Let us know when you get it scheduled in for. Thinking of you xxxxx

My SIL is doing ok. Will take some time of course but she'll get there I know it. Your story on seeing the heartbeats and then suddenly not is exactly why I'm so terrified. We have another scan on Friday 23rd to see if things are still ok. I'm very very aware it could all come crashing down at any moment. DH as I not really talking about the pregnancy at all as we both just trying to take each day and not get ahead of ourselves.

Banana I'm so sorry that you've had yet another curveball in your journey. I hope you get seen quickly. I think you've mentioned BUPA before, is that an alternative option? Thinking of you

Hi ladies - wow it looks like it's been a roller coaster few days.

csa great news about your scan and yes the odds are definitely on your side now.

Lolly sorry to hear about your sister in law. That is so sad. Hopefully they will find the strength to try again soon, but I know how awful it is to experience and at the time you don't think it will ever be ok again.

Banana - oh my goodness you poor thing. Life really can be so unbelievably cruel. I really hope you get the all clear as soon as possible so that you can press on with your regime, things were looking so promising xx

We're ok, ticking along fine. I'm pretty tired all the time which is probably a good sign I guess. Still absolutely terrified about the scan, which is in a week and a half, but just got to roll with it, one step at a time. OH says I can have a 9-week scan privately as it all went wrong somewhere between 7 and 9 weeks last time, so that should help to keep me calm.

One of my friends had a MMC last week, they found out at the 12 week scan. She is so unbelievably brave and posted about the whole thing on Facebook. She's had hundreds of comments of support and people saying they have been through it too. I really hope that we are moving out of the dark ages of people not talking about miscarriage as it really can be the most isolating experience. I know I have made people uncomfortable talking about it this year but I don't really care, got more important things to worry about than their comfort

Hope everyone's week gets better from here! xxx

Bear!! Been wondering how you were doing. Was going to message today! Understandable to be nervous but all good signs and I'm sure the scan will be amazing!
That's really sad about your friend too. How brave of her to be so public with it too. It's only when people actually talk about these things you realise how many people suffer in silence. Hope it helps her and great she's had so much support.
My SIL is doing ok, she'll get there. Just trying to support her where I can but very conscious not to say the wrong thing. Or upset her. But she is really strong and doing well. They've got a nice holiday planned for Feb so will be good for them to get away and relax a bit together.

I'm still away for a break with DH. Very relaxing and aside from dry wretching and feeling queasy every now and again I'm ok!! Starting to get nervous about the scan on Friday. Hoping the heartbeats are still strong and they've grown as they should. I'll be 8+6 on Friday. Still very anxious and on edge about it all but aren't we all!!

How are the rest of you ladies doing? xxx

Hope you're enjoying your break ad able to fully relax. Queasiness sounds horrible, it's not something I've ever suffered from in pregnancy. However the smell of the fridge at work today is repulsive but no one else seems to be able to smell it!

So great that you get another scan before Christmas. We had an 8+ week scan with DD and you can see so much more by then xx

To be honest I don't mind if all is well! I'd have it for the whole time if it meant things would work out! I've heard heightened sense of smell is a symptom!
Yer we booked in an extra one as I wanted to be able to relax a bit over Christmas (hopefully).

Not sure what to expect to see at 8+6? Bigger blobs? Haha. I'm literally praying at least once a day!!

Are you all ready for Christmas? I've still got more wrapping and buying to do! xxx