The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Fourpaws - I am constantly incredulous at the sheer insensitivity of people & I feel it now because of circumstances but i cut people some slack cause before all this waiting and trying i never gave a second thought to women ttc. All you needed was a quiet thoughtful word beforehand can't see why that's so hard. You may have been a tad harsh to DH but I honestly think you're entitled to a rant after all this. Push on through.💐

banana did you get any tests at all then?! As you say what a shower of shit. And not glitter shit.

fourpaws FML. Your inlaws are crap. Clearly Instafuckingdiffers who don't want to fucking put themselves out for even a moment and imagine how you and DH mighty be feeling. Fucking twats. If you know someone is struggling you send a quiet text and leave it at that. Just take a break from them for a few weeks to regroup.
Has anyone been following that case about the girl who froze her eggs prior to chemo and then died at 28. Her mother has won the right to take the eggs to the USA to have them implanted and to carry her own grandchildren.

The mother is in her 60s, and I bet she gets pregnant first time as well. Clearly it's a terrible situation, but from my own bitter perspective it's just ... Wow. A woman in her 60s can potentially successfully have IVF. Cos surely if she thought it wouldn't work then she would have fought for the right for a surrogate to have them.

Being barren is a continual headfuck.

Hi, sorry I have been a little awol - life a bit frantic at present. Now busy digging up a bumper load of glittery dog shit for all, whatever stage you are at.

Morning.

Yes icy, I have been following that case as well. I think your right, she must believe she can do it or would have fought just for the release to someone else.

Re in laws, I'm still raging. I had a good heart to heart with my other SIL last night and despite me telling her it was best not to talk to her, I felt better for it. What I didn't know was that she had not slept either, had phoned mil back after the party and had let rip, and that she had spoken to the baby bomber. Baby bomber sister is in a waiting list for IVF. SIL just asked her how she had handled that announcement and she had said oh gently, it's really hard for her. SIL then sat back till the penny dropped, shook her head and walked away.

I am not going to see or talk to PIL for now. I accept I am sensitive but I need supportive and understanding people.

My 13 year old niece was crying when she went to bed on wed. SIL (nice one) asked her what was wrong and she said she was sad for me. she's 13 and she has more compassion in her little finger. SIL and I gave her a brief summary earlier this year as we live next door to her and she would have guessed something was wrong. We did not want her overhearing hospital and worrying. Love that kid.

Thanks for support here as always. Slept a little better but head still sore from crying no doubt. Hope all ok today with you. Glitter shit all round.

Oh fourpaws, bless your niece. And I am so sorry for insensitive relatives. I still haven't forgiven my mother in law for telling her siblings that we're having IVF.

Had my egg collection today, got 9 eggs collected. Also my lining has reached the magic 8mm! I feel terrible now, tired and uncomfortable, and slightly nauseous.

Thankfully I have no weekend plans so can just chill. Xx

A www sammy, that's great re eggs but sorry your feeling so poorly. Have you far to travel home? Cosy in bed and have a quiet afternoon.

They said they are aiming for my collection a week on Monday so I am a wee bit behind you.

Hi fiends

sammy amazing news lovely - rest up and hoping for good news from the love lab

fourpaws I'm sorry your in laws are such a bunch of thoughtless twats. How difficult is it to send a text in advance to just give some advance warning - and not F2F so you can react accordingly in private.? Urgh. Bless your niece though, what a sweetheart. Glitter shit

icy the surrogate eggs thing is very weird. But that's the thing with donor eggs - pregnancy is pretty much entirely determined by the age of the eggs, not the uterus. Hence the 70 year old woman in India having a baby via donor eggs. Obv there are health risks to being pregnant at that age (as well as the social / ethical questions) but in terms of ability to conceive, her age is pretty much irrelevant, if it's her daughters eggs.

Feeling lots happier now having seen my nice consultant who was able to situate the HyCoSy results in context, as well as generally not be a massive twat like the Dr who did the procedure

He's not worried about the adenomyosis, says if there even is anything it's very mild and won't affect fertility. The HyCoSy was so he could see if there was blood that was flowing back into the fallopian tubes instead of out where it was supposed to and he's happy it isn't. He said my body appears to have absorbed the lining and things are looking good without any clots or tissue

So all good to start an HRT cycle - which is essentially a mock FET. Trial run so we can see how my lining responds, and (please, please) hopefully induce a withdrawal bleed. I've started progynova today, and go back for a lining scan in a week. Lucky me will get the indignity of the Cyclogest for 2 weeks despite absolutely zero chance whatsoever of pregnancy! Desperately hoping my uterus decides to cooperate for once, so we can get off the starting block and actually have a crack at the real thing...

Thanks fourpaws, I'm ok, just uncomfortable now. Moving really hurts. Am hoping this is a normal side effect of EC, and not the dreaded OHSS starting. Luckily it was only a 20 minute drive home.

Banana - have already responded on our other thread, but yay for your fab consultant!

Just checking in briefly whilst on my holidays to say hi and wish masses of good luck to those at various IVF stages.

I really feel for you fourpaws, family baby bombs are a nightmare as it is without a massive deal being made of it all. My dbro and his girlfriend announced their pregnancy whilst I was in the middle of my first IVF cycle and I really struggled with it. They didn't know I was doing IVf though.

All sounding much more positive banana, good to have a plan sorted.

We also have a plan. Scratch 4th Aug, then start downregging etc that cycle for a medicated FET early Sept. Two frosties to put back if they survive the thaw.

For now though, it's all about wine and icecream!

Only 2 fertilised normally out of the 9 eggs. I'm so disappointed and now panicking that neither of them will make it. I'll have this nice thick lining and nothing to put back in it.

Oh sammy, please don't worry. I know everyone keeps saying it but it is really true it only takes one. Keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you.

Fingers crossed for you, Sammy. It's such an awful time.

Any news from Wizzi?

Sammy really hoping your two go the distance. Bucket of shit and a howl for you.

I'm now on CD 35, no sign of droid. I know deep down I'm on one of my
40 day + cycles, but in the absence of anything else to piss on, I can confirm I'm not ovulating googles "chances of conceiving naturally straight after IVF"

Just hurry the fuck up period so we can do FET. THIS is why I wanted to do a cycle using the pill. Exactly fucking this scenario.

Just found self googling "fertility retreats uk"

Are there any icy?!

I'm struggling - it's the fear of tomorrow's call. What if they've both died over the weekend? What if it's a completely wasted NHS cycle? What if there's nothing to put back and then I have to wait two cycles before doing this all over again????

They both made it. And they're both going back in today. I'm so relieved you can't even imagine.

Oh Sammy, that's wonderful. What a relief. Good luck today!

Otd for me here. Turns out I'm pregnant, hcg right where it should be. Stunned doesn't cover it. I was convinced that it was only the progesterone keeping AF away.

Zenzie that's brilliant news!!! Congratulations

Well done zenzie! We will start to compile your Infiltration of the Fertiles Mission File!!

Oh yes icy! Is there an HQ already, I wonder?

Best of luck for today Sammy- or are you all done? Hope it's sticky and glittery!

Just checking in to say Woo hoo for zenzie and good luck to sammy today I hope all goes well. 💐

Congrats zenzie!

Things are moving at a glacial pace here. I thought that now we are private things might actually happen but no, not even paying through the nose gets you anywhere! We had our initial consult a few weeks ago, which was a bit of a nightmare. Turns out we will most probably need ICSI which was a bit of a shock, and with the extra cost our three rounds is now probably looking more like two max. Then we had the meeting with the consultant, who I had seen (once) on the NHS, who went though the initial spiel with all the passion of a member of the cabin crew going through the safety procedures for the 10,000th time. He literally kept staring off at a point on the wall behind us as he was talking which made us feel oh so special. So that was £275 well spent. Then in the waiting room there was a couple with a 3/4 year old child, which I didn't mind at all as I understand sometimes you can't get childcare. What I did mind was the bloody mother saying 'Sorry, guys, here's a glimpse of the future!' to us in the waiting room as she left. There were about 4 other couples there and I though, well maybe 1 or 2 or us will be lucky enough to ever be in your position! Just another thoughtless comment in the one bloody place you would expect a bit of understanding. Still fuming about it now. Even DH (who is pretty sturdy about these things) told me later that he felt like saying something to her at she left.

God Tammy, that's awful! Our clinic has a strict no children rule (although there is a changing table in the loo which confuses me), and I was SO glad when we moved there away from the NHS one which shares a waiting room with the antenatal clinic and the children's clinic

I officially have two embies on board. A 7 cell and an 8 cell. So here we go with the waiting. 15 days to go! OTD is 19th July.

For anyone with dhs with morphology issues - our first SA the result was 3%. Today it was 7%! The only thing we changed was that DH switched to decaf coffee. Literally that's it. So either the first test was a blip or cutting out caffeine really does make a difference!

sammy> Congrats on being PUPO! Fingers crossed.

When we went back to the waiting room for the second time there was a baby (probably about 10/11 months) in there! Couldn't believe it! I mean, I get that it was probably an IVF baby and they were looking to go for #2 but I think in that position (not that I will ever be in that position now) I would have the sensitivity to either find childcare or sit away from other people.