The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Fortunately there was no space in the waiting room so we sat elsewhere and didn't have to stare at something we desperately want but will most probably never have.

Good news sammy

Fantastic zenzie!

Huge congrats zenzie, that's fab. So pleased for you.

Sammy Yay!! Best of luck. Re the morphology, it can vary a lot. DH's has varied between 0 and 8!! I hope it's that anyway as there is NO way he'll cut out caffeine!

Sammy, wonderful, so pleased for you.

Zenzie, omg, that's also wonderful. How are you both feeling? How is everyone else doing today?

I have first scan tomorrow since starting stim. I am very hot, and finding jags a wee bit stingy now, but other than that ok. Possibly abit moody but that's maybe because people are annoying me rather than the drugs

Just checking in quickly and will catch up with everyone's news eventually. I have had the most nightmarish 4 days after been hospitalised with severe OHSS, swollen tummy to the size of a basketball, voming,, severe pains the whole fucking shebang. Poor DH had to carry me into A&E, luckily hosp were fantastic and have a specialist fertility unit so acted straight away, put on IV for 2 days and morphine. Slowly coming too now but been signed off work for at least 2 weeks and managed as an outpatient. The plus side...extensive blood works indicated we have a sticky bean. Lord knows how bean has survived this but for now there is a God xx

It's definitely other people being annoying, fourpaws. Hope your scan goes well.

Two on board Sammy! Good luck for your tww, I have to say I found it excruciating. Hope it flies by for you.

Oh Tammy, what a tough time. I am very very because I had to take my three year old to the clinic when we went for counseling - I had had childcare booked for weeks but two hours before the appointment my sister rang and said she had gastro. I felt so uncomfortable taking her but just couldn't manage any other way. Then again, when I was there for a blood test yesterday there was some chap waking up and down the corridor with a very little baby in a pram. If you're not in an actual appointment maybe buzz off elsewhere?

Thanks for the congrats. Feeling fine, just tired and hungry!

Mountains of glittery dog shit to everyone.

Oh Wizzi, cross post. What hell for you, that sounds just awful. I'm so glad you got some excellent care and even more thrilled that there's a payoff for you! Well done on your bean! I hope recovery goes well and you can start to enjoy things soon. Look after yourself. Is the worst over now, no likelihood of further flare ups?

Oh wizzi, what a roller coaster. Been thinking about you over the weekend. Another fellow stabbing buddy. So glad you also have a sticky. Look after yourself and lots of tlc for you.

Wow, wizzi what a nightmare but with a wonderful outcome!

Zenzie - don't worry about taking your 3 year old in - it was completely what the mother said that made me fume and not that the child was there in the first place although I do agree that taking an actual fucking baby to an infertility clinic is a bit , don't care if that makes me irrational!

Zenzie delighted to hear your news! Fantastic!! How are you feeling?

fourpaws sorry to hear about the baby bomb. That is seriously shitty. Hope you are doing ok and scan goes well. Is it today??

sammy great news! Two onboard as well.. Double the chance! Fingers crossed.

tammy agree. Fertility clinics are no place for babies. It's stressful enough seeing them day to day- at least you would think a goddamn clinic would be a safe haven.

Glittery shit to everyone else.

Thanks for the good wishes. Yes it's been a rollercoaster and have a follow up tomorrow to check my blood levels and also a trip to the early pregnancy unit, which should be interesting as I look 9 months pregnant.
Wasn't quite the scenario I had in my head, being told by an A&E nurse at 4 in the morning with drunks shouting in the background that we had a BFP. Myself and DH just burst out laughing with the surrealness of it all.

Currently hiding out at home and terrified neighbours will see me through the window - no bump last week and massive this week!! They will think I am one of those mental women who stick a basketball up their tops and pretend to be preggo - oh you actually couldn't make this shit up!!

Tammy - a baby?! Geez, there really is no respite.

Four pours - how did your scan go? Try icing the area before you stab, makes it a bit less stingy. Definitely don't have a hot water bottle and then stab without letting your skin cool. Ouchy!

Wizzi - sorry to hear you've been so poorly, mild OHSS was bad enough, I can't even imagine how you must have been feeling. You poor thing. Hooray for a sticky bean though, fab fab news!! Xx

Hello, just a quick update. Don't think scan was very good. I had 9 follicles, now I have 6. None of them doing very much.

Up on the dosage of Gonal F and now nothing till another scan Monday. Timing could not be worse. Work partner off from mid next week so am on my own and now unlikely to be here. Feeling battered and stressed. Actually just want to cry. I don't even know what this means. felt all rushed and just a number this morning. Nobody able to explain.

Just a quick check in to say to fourpaws I had 9 follicles with 6 eggs on my egg collection, that was with almost max dose of gonal f, don't give up hope (stupid of me to say when your probably feeling frantic) but my 9 follies ranged between 0.7 and 2.2mm so hopefully with a bit of extra help and time, yours will pick up the pace! Fx and hang in there.

Wow that's great wizzi!! Such amazing news.

Fourpaws sorry you're feeling stressed. Afraid I can't help answer the question but hang in there, fingers crossed for you.

Quick update from me, I'm on hols from Thursday, OTD is next week which is my last day of holiday so I'm just going to test once we get home. Don't want bad news ruining the end of my holiday. Dreading the test already!

Glitter shit to all!

Fourpaws, I seemed to go backwards with gonal F too - first scan looked like 11 follicles, second scan looked like eight or nine and by egg collection we got four eggs. It felt pretty gutting and like something had gone badly wrong. Don't feel too despondent. Work sounds tough though - does your boss know about ivf?

I'm kind of dreading telling my boss my good news - there's no need to do so this early but she knows all about and will be keen to see how I've gone (she's been on leave the last few weeks). She's been through years and years of ivf and had one daughter but then desperately wanted a second. I think she had around 15 egg collections and subsequent transfers - really mind boggling. She's only recently given up after a well regarded specialist told her it was not going to work. She'll be happy for me but it will undoubtedly be difficult for her. I can't believe I have to baby bomb her.

fourpaws they can't always see everything that's there with the dildocam. My scan before collection they reckoned I'd have about 7 mature follicles - turned out to be 25. Mins you of the 25 only 7 went on to form proper blastos.

Fuck I wish they'd put them back. I could've handled ohss, I would have handled it. Currently on day 39 with no sign of droid. Mild pms-type signs, the odd breast twinge, bloated gut, constipation etc. I'm now stressed bc following their stupid FET protocol that was outlined to me, by the time they get to the transfer, I'll be on holiday with OH (w/o his kids) so I'd have to cancel that. It was booked back when we'd started IVF and we have that timeline "set" before they did a cunting freeze all. FUCKSSAKE. Haven't done a test but I know I'm not pregnant. I've had 44 day cycles before. I've never been pregnant and I'll never get pregnant. Might as well fucking give up on it all. Just so depressed.

I'm (another) long-term lurker but think I am around the same stage as fourpaws on an IVF cycle and just wanted to say, I feel your angst! I had 3 larger and around 12 small follies on my v first scan which was after 2 days of stims. I've now done 7 days of stims and my scan yesterday showed 7 follies ranging from 14-10mm so I felt pretty upset. Nothing else to add really - I know everyone says quality over quantity but cant help being disappointed! Hope you're ok with it all - I am finding it hard to stay positive!! Do you know when EC is likely to be?

Icy really hope your period makes an appearance soon. So fucking frustrating - it disrupts your life SO much. Im expecting EC at some point next week and having to be so vague with work. My boss knows what is going on but don't fancy sharing my infertility woes with half the business which makes responding to invites for all day meetings in a different country rather difficult. Especially when they keep asking "if we change it to X date, does that work for you?". In my head I am screaming I don't fucking know as could be EC, could be waiting to be told I need to rush in for ET or I may be wallowing in a failed cycle - please just do the fucking thing without me as I am so ineffective at the moment, I am unlikely to add any value!!!

Sorry, that was rather a large rant for my first post

icy just ask for provera and induce a bleed so you can get on with it. No reason to wait for a "normal" period now. The evidence shows that you are much more likely to have success from a FET where your system is calm versus a ohss fresh transfer so don't fret - I know it's annoying not being able to transfer post EC (I was fucked off too) but this is definitely for the best in the long run.

chocolate sympathies. Re the not being able to schedule anything - I just booked stuff in and then cancelled if necessary. Too hard otherwise. I had to cancel a couple of long haul business trips last minute (once for a scan, once due to ohss) so ended up telling work I had an ovarian cyst that needed to be removed and monitored...figured that wasn't too far from the truth. (And no man ever asks the follow up question when you say that!).

GS to everyone else. Just checking in from the land of the fertile. Have had all sorts of ongoing niggles and worries so am definitely still wearing the cape of infertility and shitness. Waiting to become one of those normal smug instadiffers who just fly through pregnancy. Fear it is not to be. But the baby is still alive and growing, so that's the main thing.

stealth I think we've actually got the same lovely consultant (banana and I are infertility buds) so your pregnancy gives me hope during this rather stressful time! Hope the worries and niggles aren't anything serious - understand the angst though. Imagine it doesn't end!

Stealth, is there an infertility-friendly thread around? I've looked in on the regular one but it is FULL of Instadiffers who are all working out how to wean their little ones before having another. One woman seems to have a four month old and is pregnant again.

Icy, that sucks sucks sucks. I don't know much about it but are there any problems with inducing a bleed? It must be the most frustrating limbo to be in. Try to stay positive, even though that's easier said than done. This too shall pass.

I shouls have askes for provera, still could, but will need to take a pg test first (which I can't face) and also the provera takes a few days doesn't it? So might as well just white knuckle it now as holiday in August is fucked either way.

Yes it takes a few days icy. There's still time!

zenzie yes hop on over to the a Pregnancy after infertility thread (we're on no 2). Only sympathetic, terrified barrens - not an instadiffer in sight!

chocolate ah yes that's why your name is familiar! I saw our doctor this morning for my last appointment before going across to antenatal. You're in the best hands possible, that's all I can say.

Zenzie I started the pregnancy after infertility for exactly that reason - didn't feel like I fitted in with all the normal preggos

I obviously ducked out of the thread when I had the mc, but I'm delighted to hear from stealth that thread 2 is going strong!

Hi fiends
Tons of GS to all waiters and lurkers and congrats to those PUPO or with a bfp!
We had our IVF consultation yesterday and they are currently planning for egg collection followed by FET. Apparently I am borderline on hormone levels for risk of OHSS so they will plan for freeze all but will do a fresh transfer if I manage to surprise them and have a 'normal' set of bloods at the end.
I guess it is better to know now but still feels like further waiting. Just have to hope we actually manage to have any to freeze! Due to start down reg from August.
We have decided not to try IUI again this cycle (due tomorrow) but to take a breather for a month and regroup ready for IVF to start. Just have to ignore the Menopur shaped elephant in the fridge now....

Thank you for sharing info re follicles. Just feel so rubbish about it all.

Welcome chocolate, fellow stabber. I don't know re EC anymore. Was Meant to be Monday but who knows now, suppose never if I don't start growing, of the ones that haven't been killed by my baroness they are only like 3mm after a week of gonal f. It's like you start to get your head around one process and it's just curve ball after curve ball.

How's everyone doing today? I just had a domestic with DH re a washing machine, not helping my stress levels. And then walked away when he said to me just letting you know I emptied the dishwasher for you. I might start telling him every time I empty MY dishwasher for ME.