The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Bean! That's so awful and thoughtless. Can you nip it in the bud, send her a polite but pointed message saying that you are not in a position to be sensitive to or supportive of the details of her pregnancy and she should stop fucking texting them to you?!

bean she sounds like a bitch, after everything you have been through? Nobody needs updates on morning sickness.

sammie good luck with the scan and fingers crossed for some good big follies. My boobs ached the first week or two as well...are you on Menopur??

So after spending a second night writhing around the bathroom floor in pain and now vomiting I got an emergency appt with my Doc this morning and have been diagnosed with OHSS...I really thought I escaped it. Only consolation Doc said it could be a good sign as its late onset could be preggo hormones kicking in, too early to see anything on dildocam.Any tips for anyone who has suffered this torture as I currently can't move from the sofa?

bean your "friend" sounds like a cunt. Disengage.

wizzi codeine. Fluid and codeine. I found all fours was most comfortable than sitting back. But no other escape! Fluid & time. My before and after gunt pics are strong!

Yes bean that's so rude- cut her off! Send her a text like zenzie suggested. See how politely you can suggest she's being a bitch.

Wzzi eek, sounds horrible. Really hope you feel better soon. Fingers crossed it is a good sign!

I'm pissed off with my GP practice. After my miscarriage they were informed by the hospital (GP phoned me to say how sorry she is, she's lovely). However they didn't cancel my midwife appointment so when I got the reminder for it I was confused, called receptionist, she said it was with midwife, I had to explain I had miscarriage. Fine, fair enough. But today got call from midwife asking if I was "well" as I "obviously" didn't attend my appointment last week. She didn't get the message. Seriously, how many times do I have to tell them?!

Had trigger injection today for IUI so insemination is tomorrow. Seems so weird DH will go in first thing and then me later, so won't even see each other! This whole thing is weird though! Told DH he needs to produce awesome sample, no pressure, haha.

Hope all doing well- how are those stabbing and those waiting? Any updates?

Oh wizzi sounds awful, what you described the other day was suspicious for OHSS but without the vomiting you would like to just hope its progesterone bloat. Have you googled late OHSS in early pregnancy yet?! Hope the Dr is very right and it's a good sign, although awful for you right now. I drank 2l of water a day to avoid it. Like others have said lots of fluids and rest up! Hope it goes very soon. Also read that Powerade type drinks help.
kiwi I feel sick for you! WTF is wrong with people!! First off the fucking receptionist needs a complaint letter and did the midwife not check first to confirm your appt. was still needed?
Hope it hasn't ruined your Zen for tomorrow. No pressure for DH then! Is he providing his sample at home or the clinic? (Not that it's relevant, just being nosey)
sammy hope the scan went good

I can't cut her off. She's my closest when colleague and we work together everyday :(

Oh Wizzi - you poor thing. I've been there and it's truly awful. Have they given you cabergolin?
Laying down in bed is the worst thing as all the free fluid moves up around your chest and gives you that 'can't breath' type feeling. Try propping yourself up to sleep.
Other than that drinking tonnes, hard I know when you feel sick. Try ice lollies/cubes. The only thing I could face was robinsons Apple squash. Fx crossed all this is for the best reason ever!

Yes I am on menopur, a lower dose than last time though to try to avoid OHSS! Were you on 150?

kiwi - that's terrible How can they not check these things.
Good luck with your insemination. That is so strange that you won't even be together for the moment you conceive!

bean - I would explain to your colleague (by email or text) that you're finding it really tough hearing all about her pregnancy given the circumstances, and that while you are happy for her and want to know important things like scan results and will of course help her out if she's feeling unwell etc, could she possibly save the complaining for someone else as you'd give anything to feel sick right now?

Thanks for all the well wishes for my scan. I had 15 follicles in total. The biggest ones aren't quite big enough yet so I'm to keep stabbing until Wednesday. She thinks EC will probably be on Friday. My lining was 7.4mm which is really good for me, plus still got 2 days of menopur to go so hopefully will get a bit thicker.

Yes bean tell her to pipe down. She knows what you been through right? She's being insensitive.

Wizzi hope you feel better soon!

Thanks pebbles and Sammy. I wasn't as angry as I was last time, but I think you're right I should complain. It's been quite a few fuckups. I also got a letter from my consultant (we saw her when I was 10 weeks as a routine appointment) saying "diagnosis: pregnant" that she only typed and sent two weeks later, after miscarriage. Like being repeatedly slapped in the face!

Pebbles thanks no I feel OK for tomorrow. He's doing it in the clinic, he's done four samples already so is hopefully practised! Last time when they prepared the sample to see what it was like it was excellent, so I'm hoping tomorrow's is too.

Sammy great news with the follicles!!

Just POAS and got a very faded BFP but feel like AF is due to arrive any second. Reckon it's just the aftermath of the trigger shot as OTD isn't until Friday. Currently look 5 months pregnant with OHSS, sick and can't sleep.
Sorry for the 'me ' post - just fed up and want to know for sure either way 😩

Wizzi - how long ago was your trigger?

I'm being quietly optimistic about your bfp only 2 days before otd. Understand your caution though. Have you got anti sickness medication? If not definitely contact your clinic or go for some.

Egg collection Friday morning for me, and I'm absolutely terrified of OHSS again. I've got the best lining I've ever had (7.8mm) and really don't want to waste it if they can't transfer because of OHSS. I'm drinking lucozade sport by the gallon to try to ward it off!

wow wizzie quietly optimistic here too, what date was your trigger?

Yey wizzi apart from the OHSS all sounds very good! Hope the lines get darker for OTD
sammy sounds like your doing all you can to avoid OHSS, no way is that good lining going to waste!

I am ready to take a long break from TTC conceive now! AF came in full flow a couple of days ago. I am having such a heavy period must be all the drugs leaving my system along with my little embie.
We will try again one day but right now we're ready to live our life again.
No more hiding in the corner because I don't have children or I am not pregnant. Infertility isn't all that I am, I am a good wife, friend, sister, daughter, aunty etc etc I have plenty of reasons to get up in the morning and smile rather than living under a big black cloud. Like my DH says this is our life and we'll figure it out along the way. Looking forward to getting back to the bloody gym and not worrying about what time it is to do meds etc. When we are ready I'll be defrosting one of our 4 embies for round 2, maybe at the end of the year as I'll have just turned 30.
The sadness of the end result was overwhelming at first but it's getting easier each day and I know how well we done to even get to a ET plus have some spares.

Sending lots of glittered shite to all of you, I'll be supporting you all quietly in the distance

Pebbles enjoy your break from this crazy rollercoaster, gym and living life generally sounds fucking fantastic. And time is most definitely on your side. Will be thinking of you..
Sammie good luck for EC and fingers crossed for a big haul...try not to worry about the dreaded OHSS.
Thanks fiends for the support - sounds like my DH who has simply never given up on this working.... currently trying to get me to do another test but I honestly don't have enough pee in me with the frickin OHSS!! Trigger was 15 days ago should be clear but I always have a lingering doubt....

Hello ladies, I have been lurking as i wait to start in three weeks. Pebbles- think you have exactly the right attitude and at 29 plenty of time. Enjoy not stressing over all this. Glad you are starting to feel positive again.
Wizzi - I have been reading your posts and gripped by all that you been through over the last few weeks. I have everything crossed for you.
Had a moment at work today when a woman I barely speak to told me it was about time I had a baby when I replied I am trying, she informed me that there are tests available to check fertility. Tests who'd have fucking guessed that?
Unbelievable!

Hello ladies,

Been thinking of you all. On phone so wont respond to all individually but I am reading and catching up.

Tomorrow is finally upon me after about one million days of injections. No real clue what happens next but hey, sure someone will keep me right.

I have been okish this month but am low as anything this evening. Pebbles that big black cloud is over me to and I wish you a restful and sunshine filled rest. I'm already thinking about doing the same and I have not even really started yet.

Extended family as in DH family all having some weird get together tonight, very weird on a week day. I have this gut feeling there's going to be one massive baby bomb so I have avoided that one.

Oh four paws thought you meant you were having egg collection tomorrow but do you mean you have been on down reg all this time? Is the scan tomorrow to see if you are ready for stimming? So it seems like you've been injecting forever cause you bloody well have. Sorry you feeling so down not surprised sounds like you in limbo but it must all be for the best suppose everyone's plan is different. Sending you hugs and think you were right to avoid big family do on a wed sounds v.suspicious. hope tomorrow goes well and you getting closer to a Bfp x x

pebbles sorry to hear that but your attitude is admirable. And yes you have done fantastically to have four frozen!! And lots of time on your side. Go you.

Sammy good luck for Friday!! Hope it goes smoothly.

fourpaws good luck for tomorrow! Hope all goes OK. Totally understand how you're feeling.

Wizzi sorry you still feel rotten, fingers crossed!!

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Well I'm in the 2ww after IUI. Insemination was yesterday and went fine. Felt so weird and surreal sitting on the bed holding DH's sample as they checked it was the right one! I know I need to not get my hopes up as not that likely to have worked. Luckily we go on holiday in a week's time and I'll just test when we get back, so hopefully that will take my mind off it somewhat.

Oh my gut was right. Ouch. That one hurt. Interestingly I think I'm more hurt at DH parents who organised it in full knowledge of where I am tomorrow. I sent her a message saying congratulations and she said she was only ten weeks and had not wanted to say yet but they forced her.

Sara, yup, been down Regging since start of june. Fun fun fun. God I want to go and get hammered drunk. I won't, but I really want to.

On phone so can't do many personals but

• Good luck to Sammy and fourpaws
• Have a good break pebbles, you will benefit from it and you have time yet. Enjoy yourself!
• Tentative thumbs up for Wizzi (but not for your ohss). Stay cool for otd!

Decided yesterday that I was going to test today. I have a clear blue advanced monitor with a billion pregnancy test sticks to use. But the bloody thing isn't working, I can't turn it on properly. So I dug out some old internet cheapie tests but they expired in February. Used one anyway, BFN. I think I just wasn't meant to test and I should wait for my otd on Monday. But still feel quite sad.

Glittershit to all.

Good luck pebbles may the glitter shit be with you, and you and DH have a fabulously barrentastic break

Congrats on being insperminated kiwiblue - I've been told by others that when they had IUI the sperm wash turned the spunk pink. As if the whole process wasn't weird enough

sammy good luck for Friday

fourpaws good luck for DR scan - you'll be a pro stabber in no time

zenzie bath tub of glitter shit to you

Tentative congrats to wizzi (and hope the OHSS stays at bay)

Well yesterday was the HyCoSy - absolute shitshow, came home in floods of tears, DH is absolutely fuming as there seems to have been some major fuck up in the referral and I got treated like shit by a bitchy consultant who said there wasn't any point me being there if I needed the endometrium assessed as this was a tubal patency test. So somewhere there was some major miscommunication.

She also said I have some adenomyosis. Which would be strange, as my consultant literally wrote the textbook on endometriosis and adenomyosis, has done umpteen pelvic ultrasounds and looked inside my uterine cavity with a camera. And the symptoms of adenomyosis are painful heavy periods. When my issue is barely there bleeds. Urgh.

Obv this has raised way more questions than answers. Seeing consultant tomorrow, so there are a LOT more questions in the notebook of doom

In other news, I got my AMH re-tested out of curiosity.

In June, July and Oct 2015 it was 1.5
Yesterday it was.....get ready.....62.2

It’s sad, as a few months ago I’d have been bouncing off the walls, but now we know my eggs aren’t the problem and having all the eggs in the world makes no difference if my uterus is buggered and I can’t sustain a pregnancy.

Ho hum

Glitter shit to all!

Secret society of militant barrens update

FB bitchfest is GO

It's completely secret. So secret that in trying to get it set up and test it no one could sign up (we've worked that bit out)

So if you want yet another place to bitch, come and play in the FB glitter shit ball pool. It's just an extension of the ghetto. Not a replacement. No one is fucking off from here - it's just a private place we can be EVEN more bitchy.

If you want in, PM your email to any of us lot below, and we'll invite you.

bananafish81
icy21
karlafox
beanhunter
tigerdog
kiwiblue

Bosh.

banana that must be so frustrating. Really hope your consultant gives you some answers today.

Fourpaws sorry about the bomb... Sounds like you handled it really well though.

Zenzie good luck with the next test, hang in there.

Welcome snappy! Sorry to hear about what you've been through.

Morning

I slept a total of 2 hours according to my fitbit, no surprise there. Ranted at DH all the way to the hospital and told him to keep his parents away from me. Probably totally unreasonable but I don't care. He did ask how I thought I should have been told and I am pondering that. I honestly don't think a massive announcement without prior warning in a room full of people the night before I was in hospital would have been it. Obviously I am happy for them but perhaps a quiet word so i could have prepared myself might have stung less. My gut was correct to avoid it but i still woke up to 4 voicemail's all skippy happy telling me to hurry up and get to the party as they had an announcement to make.

It's like I feel pushed out and less of a part of the family?

Anyhoo, scan this morning. Lining 3.1, 9 follicles? Not sure if this is good, DR was flying and did not say much. Now on Gonal F as well until Tuesday with a scan then.