The mind numbing boredom of infertility III

[icy121]

Are you Barren & Bored? You've come to the right place!

We do: swearing, empathy, bitterness, tears, sardonic laughter, glittery shit and mocking idiots who know nothing jon snow.

We don't do: baby dust, relentless positivity, "u ok hun", "I had a friend who..", pithy advice or sentimentality generally.

Previous threads 1 and 2.

Now that you've got all that down, welcome to the barren ghetto.

Fab wizzi, been thinking about you today. Will catch up properly later but was just checking in quickly to see how you got on. God there's always something eh. Last time we fell out with the car park barrier (best not to ask) and the time before they lost my notes. Hey ho. Only meant another round of tests I had already done. As we keep saying, end goal, end goal.

wizzi good luck! 👍
bean how are you feeling? Hope you are working through the disappointment this all brings. We have decided to have a couple of months off. Not sure how beneficial that is as I feel I am just prolonging the inevitable. Ie, another round of disappointment. Hugs to you right now.

Congrats wizzi! did you carry on as normal after it? I had the same experience. It clearly stated in my notes from my mock transfer that the wider, hooked catheter suited me best. But oh no, they chose to ignore the note. I would worry though, the Dr said to me that even if she shook the catheter about the embryo would t be affected.
Will you test early!
icy no point being bitter and dieting, carry on eating shite and hating the world. I would kind of day I've made some progress, from having far too many small, unresponsive follies to actually getting to transfer. Not expecting a hole in one though. The embryo may have scored perfect, that doesn't account for the actual genetics it has.
Welcome stick your very welcome here. Sorry you've been punished by that shitty NHS rule. Easier said then done, but main advice I can give you is try enjoy life with your DH before September. Obvs you're trying to save but a little enjoyment will do the world of good. If you haven't already, folic acid is the vitamin they love to hear you've been chugging down daily for yonks!
Glad we all in agreement that a bit of junk food won't jepodise the end goal.

Icy121 yes these houses make you feel like that. Though I never felt envious of other mothers in fact have always loved having my freedom perhaps a bit too much. I used to see other women with children and all I really saw was a lot of drudgery. Then my very young niece had a baby boy and i got to 39 and now I seem obsessed; very annoying! I keep hearing about all these special diets on here. I know nothing about this. But I don't smoke or drink and eat healthy plus exercise and I've never been pregnant. My sister is obese, drinks a lot, takes unrecognisable diet type pills and has three perfect children. Bitter moi?
Wizziwoo** how can this happen? Can't imagine how stressed that must have made you feel; I feel stressed for you and I don't even have any embryos... five frosties though - impressive.
Karlafox** yes me too one day I hope to have a really high pitched screamy baby to cast revenge over all those noisy blaring radio summer tosspots. Until then, I have a howling girl cat who thinks she's a wolf.
Had first appointment today then thought it would be a really great idea to just try to get pregnant naturally one more time ... Who am I kidding? But here I go again ever hopeful though knowing the ivf happening next month, feel less stressed about whether we might or might not have managed it. Fingers crossed for one and all x

Wizzi huge day! Everything crossed for you. Just waiting to hear my admission time for ET tomorrow. I can't stop thinking that something must have gone wrong since Saturday and actually all the embryos have died. Surely they'd call me!

Pebbles I always want to laugh hollowly when the nurses/doctors ask if I've been taking folic acid. Only for fucking years, I'm rattling with the stuff.

Great news wizzi on being PUPO! Good luck for today zenzie!

Shitty start to the day there icy, there's no denying it. Some days just feel a big fuck you from the world. Hope your day improved and today is a better one.

vixx I enjoyed (if that's the right word!) your other thread. The shit that people come out with is astounding.

sara it's the hope that gets you. There's always someone who gets pregnant on that last cycle treatment, or when they'd supposedly given up. Still worth a shot though eh.

bean hope you're doing ok.

Hope the stabbing is going ok fourpaws, I definitely preferred stomach over legs. Long protocol really drags doesn't it?

Good luck with the 2ww pebbles do you have much planned by way of distraction?

banana love the unofficial experiment. I have been fairly ridged about diet in the past, almost certainly a control thing. I even bought a book called 'eat yourself pregnant'. Er, yeah how the fuck does that work exactly??!' Have relaxed a bit now, life is too bloody short.

A couple of months off sounds good Karla. Me and DH have decided to have a 'summer of fun' - we've booked holidays and weekends away, catch ups with various friends and are generally trying to distract ourselves from all of this. Didn't have much choice really, the waiting list to do my FET is several months.

Grumpel my street might as well be called the mum's club. I don't have loads of friends where I live now, they're mostly in London/SE. Local groups in my neighbourhood seem to revolve around kids, and sometimes I just feel bloody lonely. I was so excited when we moved four years ago, fully expecting to get pregnant straight away.

Hi to everyone else, sorry to those I've missed. I'm attempting a mammoth post on my phone so will probably end up losing it or cocking it up somehow.

A small glimmer of hope here is that my appointment has been brought forward by 3 weeks and is now this Sat, just before we head off on holiday. This will be the first chance to discuss my failed cycle back in March and confirm what will happen next. I think I will feel better once I have a plan.

Morning all, stomach stabbing going much better, no idea why I thought legs would be a good idea

Here's a good one for you, think it says more about my fragile state of mind than anything else but meh. Got fitbit a few weeks ago, last week did workweek hustle thing. About 10 people, only know 3 of them, other 7 friends of friend so to speak. I really really tried, got to 85,000 by Friday night. One other lady about 500 in front of me, I sort of know her. I thought sod this, I am away to bed, she is more competitive than me. I sent her a message saying well done, that's me away to bed. Well played. She replied saying "oh, have I won, I have not done any exercise at all this week, it's just called being a mum". WTAF. Now, I know she has no idea what I am doing just now, but she does know i don't have kids, and "not trying" my ass. I so nearly went back on the treadmill and booted her off first place. Still annoying me today. Mainly because she just sent me another request so I blocked it. Ha, feel better for writing that out. Stupid fertile people annoying me today.

Hello all, well otd isn't until tomorrow but it's a bfn for me this morning so looking very unlikely Dh is still very hopeful, he said cheerily 'we aren't out yet, trigger day isn't until tomorrow!' He means testing day bless, he's still quite confused about all things ivf. So that probably means straight into a third pointless cycle (ffs!!). If by some miracle we do succeed next time I'm not sure how well that will go down in my new job (getting pregnant after new job offer, bad form?!) but I guess we have to try. Sigh. Really starting to think about donor eggs. Could have a nice long break, move house finally, settle into new job, then try without worrying about my biological clock. And the chance of success so so so much higher, might even manage more than one kid. Hmmmm. Sorry for the me me me post. Waves to all

So sorry zippy. It's just bloody rubbish. Don't worry about what they might think at work - women getting pregnant is just one of those things that a company has to deal with. New jobs and bigger challenges have been a good distraction for me - I'm on my third role in four years and each one I was expecting to get prgenant soon after starting....

That lady sounds like a smug competitive twat fourpaws!

Yes Karla. We are ok. Thinking maybe September for next attempt. Period arrived today. Actually only a 26 day cycle so that's short for me. I have to have a month of the pill before cycling again and no bloody way am I ready for that yet.

zippy so sorry to hear. That is truly shit. Nice long break sounds good. Take care of yourself..
fourpaws that woman sounds like a wanker and clearly doesn't get out much
Tiger great you got an earlier appt - gives you time to think about your options during the hols
Pebbles I would test now if I could! This is torture not knowing and I don't know how the fuck I'll last the pace and I'm only a day in!! I went straight back to work as normal....When you testing??
zenzie fingers crossed for the ET
Hi everyone else lurking stabbing waiting and generally bored

Im off the starting blocks, first stabbing done!

Zippy - sorry it's not looking hopeful for you. Tough luck to your work though. You have every right to have a new job ABD a baby.

sammy yes! Happy stabbings!

So sorry zippy don't worry about work, it'll sort itself out. Look after yourself.

So, ET all done! Eep. What do we know about sticky blastocysts? Mine got stuck on the Petri dish while the embryologist was trying to load it, then it got stuck in the catheter after the first attempted transfer. Apparently they start to secrete something sticky as they develop? Everyone in the room seemed to think it was fine and probably a good sign.

I know nothing about sticky blasts, but it sounds like it was getting ready to stick in your womb?! Fx for you! Xx

Thanks everyone, that's us definitely out this morning how utterly boring infertility is. Good luck to everyone stabbing and on the tww

You're not wrong zippy, so fucking boring! Can you have a whole case bottle of wine tonight?

Sadly I'll have to stop at a couple of glasses as I have to be very on the ball at work tomorrow. My current tolerance is ridiculously low so that should see me sozzled anyway!
my last cycle was a chemical and I was utterly distraught. This time I just feel numb. It's a funny old roller coaster ivf eh
Looking at the positives I can now stop all the meds and go for a run/have sex/have a hot bath/eat crap. Better make the most of the next few days as am going straight into another cycle!

Sorry Zippy. it's not fair, and completely boring. Straight on to the next... At least there's no time to overthink things! Xx

Sorry zippy. Have some . Not exactly wine but works for me.

So sorry zippy. Thinking of you and hope you get some down time over the next few days.

It is so bloody boring zippy, and I'm sorry that you're going through this shit. . My experience has been exactly as you described too - we might be doing IVF #3 together as I'm also waiting for my next appointment to kick it off.

So sorry zippy. Definitely have wine and chocolate tonight!! Take care of yourselves.

zippy just want to add how sorry I am too. Hope the wine helps and your DH has handled it well. Will the next one be a FET?
wizzi how you doing in your 2ww? Hope your keeping busy.....step away from Google and the pee sticks!
Congrats on the ET zenie sounds like it's ready to stick down. Did they use embryo glue? I had it, didn't ask for it either.
Hope the break from all this shit does you the world of good bean
How was the first stab sammy, surreal?
fourpaws people don't realise how smug they fucking sound at times. Hope her kids exhaust her on a daily basis!

wizzi I don't think I will be testing anytime soon, think AF might beat me to it
Getting funny cramps as though it's brewing. I always planned to test early, might as well put myself out the misery ASAP. When will you test?

Zippy I'm sorry about the bfn too, that is shit. Hope you and Mr Zippy are doing as well as you can. I know what you mean re the numbness, that's how I felt after the first.

wizziwoo and zenzie congrats on being PUPO! how are you both doing?

fourpaws how is the stabbing going? I'd have smacked the competitive arse of a woman. smug cow.

tigerdog my fingers are crossed for the first appointment.

bean I did the same, ended up lurking more whilst waiting to start my next cycle.

grumpel, potatoes, pinkheels, karla and kiwi how are you all doing?

welcome stick!

icy I feel you on the bitterness!

AFM, nothing new to report, have had my withdrawal bleed, am just so pissed off. Everything and everyone irritates me, I've also noticed I clench my jaw a lot more, I did it during the first cycle too - I have to tell myself to release the jaw. I'm just so fed up and annoyed we have to do this again, that I have go through all of it again. I don't care about being on a diet, I really just want to drown myself in junk food. Doesn't help that I am fat and really feel it now, I comfort eat when feeling sad/stressed/angry so don't help myself.

Had two baby bombs at work within 2 weeks...one was yesterday and the other was last week...my boss even said she didn't want to tell me about the one last week. How is this for luck one of these baby bombs involves a couple who are/were (I don't know what's happening now!) in the middle of divorcing one another...! Thankfully I won't see the ladies grow as the divorcing one is based overseas so don't see her and the other was from the husband (wife works elsewhere). I've got to a point where I'm 'checking out' a colleague to see if she is upduffed now with her second. Ugh, fucking hate this journey, it has turned me into a miserable hag.

Zippy I'm sorry about the bfn too, that is shit. Hope you and Mr Zippy are doing as well as you can. I know what you mean re the numbness, that's how I felt after the first.

wizziwoo and zenzie congrats on being PUPO! how are you both doing?

fourpaws how is the stabbing going? I'd have smacked the competitive arse of a woman. smug cow.

tigerdog my fingers are crossed for the first appointment.

bean I did the same, ended up lurking more whilst waiting to start my next cycle.

grumpel, potatoes, pinkheels, karla and kiwi how are you all doing?

welcome stick!

icy I feel you on the bitterness!

AFM, nothing new to report, have had my withdrawal bleed, am just so pissed off. Everything and everyone irritates me, I've also noticed I clench my jaw a lot more, I did it during the first cycle too - I have to tell myself to release the jaw. I'm just so fed up and annoyed we have to do this again, that I have go through all of it again. I don't care about being on a diet, I really just want to drown myself in junk food. Doesn't help that I am fat and really feel it now, I comfort eat when feeling sad/stressed/angry so don't help myself.

Had two baby bombs at work within 2 weeks...one was yesterday and the other was last week...my boss even said she didn't want to tell me about the one last week. How is this for luck one of these baby bombs involves a couple who are/were (I don't know what's happening now!) in the middle of divorcing one another...! Thankfully I won't see the ladies grow as the divorcing one is based overseas so don't see her and the other was from the husband (wife works elsewhere). I've got to a point where I'm 'checking out' a colleague to see if she is upduffed now with her second. Ugh, fucking hate this journey, it has turned me into a miserable hag.