The mind numbing boredom of infertility II

[PotatoesPastaAndBread]

This is a thread for peole who really want to get pregnant but can't, who have tried pretty much everything, and are really fucked off about it.

Have you ever nearly punched someone for advising you to "relax", "go on holiday" or "just get drunk - that's what we did"? Well then this is the thread for you.

You won't find much sentimentality here and there's no baby dust, but there is empathy, a lot of swearing and a surpirsing amount of glittery dog shit.

Link to the original thread
original thread

Evening all,

Bip Christ that sounds horrific and I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all that and to come round today and have to deal with a Mr Bip meltdown. The pressie is all on us girls isn't it?

I've had a row with DH tonight in bloody Pizza Hut - I was joyous because I had some spotting earlier which is great and means as soon as af starts I can start my injections and we're good to go - and he was stressing me about the cost of it and didn't I know this that and the other and I nearly walked out and left him! Is it not enough that I have a dad in a care home, mum recently in hosp and us going thru this - I've got to do all the fucking admin and keeping on top of everything fucking else at the same time? Arghhhhhhhh!! I just want him to bite his tongue and feed me chocolate - is that fucking too much to ask?

Anyway - great news with the lining Sammy and great news re appt Karla! Hi to everyone, TFIF hey?!

bip my heart goes out to you and mr bip. Your experience today and what you have been through really stuck with me today. I cannot imagine how you both felt. Was pleased to see you have 2 embies on board though. Wishing you all the luck in the world. Take it easy and I hope you and DH get through this stressful time the best way possible.
potatoes sorry about your holiday and everything else that's going on. Can you rebook it soon? You deserve some r+r very soon.
meh hope today wasn't too bad on you. Thinking of you still X
sammy so can your lining get even thicker before transfer?! Bet you cannot wait to have the transfer but then there's more waiting!! We spend so much time wishing these dates to arrive!! Good luck, hope it goes well
karla I hope Tuesday appointment answers a lot of your worries and you get a solid plan of action.
sammy you punched that colleague in the mouth yet!! What a bitch!
Hello to all the other ladies, so much to catch up on!
Have as lovely a weekend as you can. Eat cake and watch crappy tv. That's my plans. Xxx

Thanks everyone, fx the lining will continue to grow, but usually it stops once you start progesterone. It's pessaries twice a day. I hate them, but if they do the trick they'll be my new best friends! Xx

Oh those progesterone pessaries were what gave me the worst wind and constipation ever. The only good thing about the last month has been not being on them! Sorry that's not very helpful. But they're not fun are they? DH sometimes wakes himself up and me with a sudden snore. Well while on pessaries I used to fart in my sleep and wake us both up. How attractive! Good job ivf means he doesn't need to fancy me to make a baby

sorry to bang on about the miscarriage. I should probably be on another thread with all this guff. In short, I don't yet have an infection because no temperature, smelly discharge etc. But bleeding and cramping getting worse not better which means I may have retained products which could lead to an infection and/or needing another erpc. So we've decided to take the week off work as planned, but hire a car and holiday close to home so I can get back for appointments if needed. I was starting to panic about needing hospital treatment abroad and my insurance throwing a fit about travelling after miscarriage so this is the best thing. Still means no work and lots of attention so I'm happy! That wasn't very short, sorry.

bip and harold best of luck with those embies on board. Love your nickname harold. Big aussie soap fan are you? At uni a thousand years ago we used to play a drinking game called "g'day Bruce" and all the penalities were harold, made and bouncer. Have you ever heard of it?

laura I know what you mean about holding all the responsibility. Sometimes I feel I organise everything, all the while I can't drink or have a decent poo, and all DH has to do is turn up at the appointed time. When we were arranging the 8 week scan He gave me a list of dates that were and weren't convenient from a work perspective. I was like - this is to find to find out if your baby is alive or dead, you need to prioritise it ABOVE work. Which he did, bit still... I was annoyed I had to say it.

karla loving the hair loss updates. Stay .... Christ I can't think of the opposite of bald. Stay luscious? Something like that.

meh thinking of you this weekend. Hope you get some time to hide away and have cuddles with Mr Meh.

I sometimes struggle with keeping track of dates so please keep reiterating them... Karla app on tues and sammy transfer on thurs, right? Anyone else got stuff coming this week that I've missed?

Good weekends all.

Laura sorry to hear about the Pizza Hut debacle. Anyone who's not initiating / sorting / doing all the admin is likely to have an unrealistic idea about how clear things are in terms of timing & cost with IVF. I get the sense sometimes that Mr Bip thinks I'm flaky because I can't tell him exactly how much the entire process will cost or exactly when things will happen. Ugh. It's a lot to manage when you've got so much on your plate, and so much family worry. Hang in there. And congrats on the spotting- it all looks good!

Sammy good luck as well & happy pessaries. God they're vile.

Potatoes I haven't heard of that game but it sounds bonza! I'm going to google.

I haven't watched Neighbours since I was at uni (also one thousand years ago), but I think I really miss that 5.35pm treat, hence the nostalgic username

Re. He gave me a list of dates that were and weren't convenient from a work perspective. - not regarding MC (I've never knowingly conceived), with IVF dates, this is exactly my DH too. We have MFI too, so it would be really nice if he got more with the programme.

I think part of the problem is that because it's MFI, he feels like it's all his fault and that he's 'failed'. IVF just sort of prolongs his feelings of failureness too, so he has mixed feelings about it I think and definitely leaves all the admin up to me. Gah.

Ahh, fractious I'd forgotten about 'double dose' Neighbours. Which other soap was so good you could actually watch it twice!

You played it fractious! Awesome! I might talk with an awful Australian twang for the rest of the day! Yes you'll need to Google it Harold because the chances of me being able to explain it are zero!

fractious I'm same as you - didn't tell ppl during cycle but have told a few after. I've had THREE "well at least you know you can get pregnant" responses. Yes that's right! It only took three years, ivf, £7k, and two weeks off work. I should be delighted by this massive step forward! Clearly a sign that motherhood is imminent!

I read a thing that said no truly empathetic statement begins with the words "at least you...." - that's always going to be some shit piece of advice or utter nonsense. So true.

Try this harold. It's slightly different from how I played it but you get the idea. And you have to do it all in an Australian twang.

www.prinks.net/#!gdaybruce/c1380

Brilliant potatoes. That's my Sat night sorted!

Fractious- I sometimes feel as though the shit other people say is to make them feel better and not us. I think it's to make them feel as though they've done something. 'Well done me, I said something soothing', and then off they fuck on their merry, fertile way.

(This is Victoria by the way, made myself a more interesting screen name now than just, well, my name).

Neighbours! Haven't seen it in years!

Hi everyone!! Sorry I've been AWOL, I had to fly to the US for work and was there for only 24 hours, which was exhausting. The lead up to it was mental so I wasn't able to keep up with the thread. Have caught up now, new thread is great!!! Welcome all newbies!!

bip sorry to hear how things have been going. It sounds very tough. Thinking of you.

Meh thinking of you too, I hope you had an OK day today and Mr Meh is looking after you.

potatoes sorry to hear that, glad you can still take some time off work. Keep us updated on how you're getting on.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

Someone asked where we were all at and someone else asked why I keep having blood tests so I'll explain my situation... Nearly 32, TTC 2 years 8 months, no bfp. Have had all tests, nothing wrong with us that they can find. Was living in a different part of UK and waiting for IVF as it was 3 years trying there. Moved recently so had to be referred to fertility clinic all over again, our appointment is on Wednesday, and we had blood tests again in advance of it in hopes of speeding things up. Pretty stressed we'll get nowhere from this appointment. How do I stop myself from screaming 'just fucking refer me for IVF NOW!!!!'

Male colleague came up to me last week and said "I'm having a baby". Cue much squealing and hugging from other colleague. Anything I could muster was woefully inadequate in comparison and my face betrayed me I'm sure. How do you guys stay deadpan in these situations? I need tips!!

Hope you all are doing OK and good luck for upcoming appointments. Have barrentastic weekends!

Just checking in to boast that I've had my first poo in 5 days. It took about an hour, and was a bit like passing a jagged cannonball, and I think the effort has given me piles. But it's progress.

Kiwi that sounds so frustrating, having to jump through all the hoops again. Jet lag can't be helping your patience. And the work baby bomb sounds shite. No tips for dealing with this sort of thing in a healthy way, but I find total avoidance of eye contact with anyone of childbearing years is a useful strategy. They can't tell you their happy news if they can't catch your eye!

I have never watched Neighbours. Is it too late to start now?

Potatoes that's so shite that you're having to plan your holiday around doc's appointments. Are you still in pain? I'm livid for you that you could still have retained 'products' - it's not like the human uterus is a vast space full of nooks and crannies, seems exceptionally shoddy that they could just miss bits. Did they do the ERPC guided by ultrasound, do you know? Really hope you & Mr Potatoes can have a nice time on hols & that you feel better soon.

kiwi welcome back! Makes me tired just thinking about your trip! I have no good for congratulating others. I just stand behind the squealers, smile vaguely and day "you just be pleased" if pushed, then "notice" the time and rush off for a "meeting "

bip you'd have to do Neighbours' back catalogue. Perhaps something to enjoy during marathon toilet trips?

No ERPC is "done blind" , which did surprise me! Anyway, I think now it might just be my body getting back to normal. I still have no temperature or discharge. We've arranged to do to Wales instead. Not hot but closer to home so can come home if needed, I feel more comfortable with that, and it's cheaper so we're blowing the budget on nice hotels and nice food.

Bip I haven't watched it since the late 90s when I was at uni (showing my age), but apparently some characters are STILL in it (Karl Kennedy, Toadfish etc). Can't imagine being in the same job for 15-20 years, that's quite a commitment!

Potatoes just realised that as I'm in the TWW (doh!) no drinking games for me. If things don't turn out well on Wednesday (my test day) - which statistically they won't - I'm going to console myself with a game of G'day Bruce, mark my words!

Oh yay, Mother's Day on Mumsnet. Where everyone piles in either to whinge about their ungrateful children and good-for-nothing partners or to whinge about those whinging about their ungrateful children and good-for-nothing partners. Plus the usual vitriol about their own mothers / MILs.

Reading the 2 main MD threads in AIBU, occasionally someone will post about having had a baby who died, and everyone just ignores them and continues the bunfight about who's most grabby & entitled, etc.

Meanwhile on the bereavement threads today's slogan seems to be 'you are all mothers'. Which is nice I guess, except I don't feel like a mother at all.

My mum lives across the world from us & MIL died 5 years ago, so it's a bit of a sad sort of mind-numbingly bored day here. The sun's out, but it doesn't seem like a good idea to risk a walk through the park with all the happy families, so we're thinking of going to the woodland burial park to visit our dd's grave.

Thinking of all of us mind-numbingly bored ladies today. Particularly you Meh having lost your gran, and you Laura, hoping you're having a nice day with your mum today.

Yrias is it test day for you? I can't remember. Good luck if so!

Oh Bip, thinking of you today. A lovely idea to visit your DDs grave.

Dh came in this morning to say bye, then added 'happy Mother's Day from the pets, and the embryos' it made me laugh at least, so that's something.

Pessaries are just as gross as I remember. I've gone for the front entrance as just can't face putting anything in my bum... Plus I def don't need any help with constipation as that's my normal quite often anyway ( mild ibs). Xx

[staggers back in]

Loads to catch up on I see... 2 weeks in paradise are over and I'm back to reality with a thump. But also with a rock on my left hand - OH proposed whilst we were away, 7 years of grinding him down...! Needless to say I ate and drank everything on holiday so now going to have to start from scratch on no drinking, no sugar. Argh. Putting off even thinking about a wedding until after IVF.

Place marked & time to catch up on what I missed.

Welcome back, Icy! And congratulations!!

bip my heart goes out to you today.