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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

The mind numbing boredom of infertility II

999 replies

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 28/02/2016 10:29

This is a thread for peole who really want to get pregnant but can't, who have tried pretty much everything, and are really fucked off about it.

Have you ever nearly punched someone for advising you to "relax", "go on holiday" or "just get drunk - that's what we did"? Well then this is the thread for you.

You won't find much sentimentality here and there's no baby dust, but there is empathy, a lot of swearing and a surpirsing amount of glittery dog shit.

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Grumpelstiltskin · 05/05/2016 14:59

Icy I hear ya. Exactly that. Smug diffas have it so easy- they're so blithely unknowing and it's infuriating.

I've had that attitude of, 'oh you can try again of course' a bit from others when people have found out about my mc, EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW ABOUT THE IVF.
I do say even sometimes out loud well, it took over 2 years and £7k to even get that far AKSHULLY and you conceived your second instantaneously. So fuck off with your unhelpful platitudes.

Smearing glittery shit everywhere for you.

Pebbles086 · 05/05/2016 17:18

Glad I didn't hear that icy.
There is a guy in my office about to be wed, he keeps going on about getting his wife pregnant on their honeymoon and how the due date will fit around their careers!! Grin
Good luck to them if it happens but I am secretly hoping they realise how difficult conceiving can be....smug bastard.
Soooo my package of drugs will be arriving just before our appointment. The woman said none of the meds need to be kept in the fridge. I assumed some of them did, will I receive more drugs during the cycle?
Totally clueless. please stay close when I start I'll have a millions stupid questions to ask.

Wishing you all stand in dog poo or get shitted on by a huge bird Grin
I was tempted to introduce myself on a different thread full of woman having treatment at my clinic, but they tend to sign off with "baby dust"! Think I'll just lurk on that one.

karlafox · 05/05/2016 18:46

pebbles depends what meds you have.. gonal f and the trigger injection (whichever they prescribed you) are kept in the fridge. They usually get sent in cool box if they are to be stored in the fridge (so it's quite idiot proof really 😀)
I assume they give u enough to last as long as the average cycle takes.. If you are paying for them, it's a pain as you then need a bottomless pot of money in case it drags on a few days longer.

Good luck with it all though! Handfuls of baby dust all round 😛

Pepper1980 · 05/05/2016 20:05

Icy - I can totally relate about the bitterness. I started treatment last week and have been so angry ever since. Not sure if it's the hormones or just being fucking sick of it but I nearly punched a woman on my train who kept treading on my foot with her massive heels!

Pebbles - fridge items usually have a sticker on them and Gonal F and trigger shot definitely do, as karlafox says. However in my experience clinics can have different opinions on what should be refrigerated and what doesn't.

Grumpel - so sorry about your mc.

Glittery dog turds to you all x

Pebbles086 · 05/05/2016 20:32

Thanks ladies. She definitely said none of the items need to be refrigerated. DH will be working from home to sign for it. I'll come home to a sharps box and syringes in my fridge 🙈
Right back at you karla with the baby dust

karlafox · 06/05/2016 15:38

Up date from me: scan today ( day 8 of stimming) 8 follies apparently ( not sure how good/bad that is) So they did bloods to check how mature the eggs are, results of that we're 'in line with the scan' talk about sitting on the fence!
Happy weekend everyone , they come around quick don't they!

icy121 · 06/05/2016 22:39

Karla I had a scan too today. Had about 7 on one (7mm ish) and maybe the same on the other + lots of pco follicles too. Don't forget naturally I'll grow 25+ follicles. All duds I bet, dud cunts. Lining 3mm, so lots to go. She said mine were smaller than she'd expect, so I'm upping my Menopur dose tomorrow before back to normal (LOL as if any of this is normal, it's fucking mad) on Sunday and another scan on Monday.... Hot flashes galore, my boss looks at me weirdly. I'm just fanning myself and gasping for air. Oy vey. Thankfully no menopausal women in the office who would recognise hormonal meltdown.

Any fun barren weekends planned? Lie ins, reading books, not being a maid to a child and no plastic shit everywhere?

karlafox · 07/05/2016 08:22

icy 'dud cunts' comment made me chuckle.. Lying in my big barren bed lol'ing hard at that. Hope your lining buffs itself up and your follies ripen abit by Monday (I'm back on Monday for a scan too)

I hope the rest of you are all enjoying a lovely lie-in, much deserved after all the shit we have to cope with. Brew

PeaOp · 07/05/2016 11:23

Have just been looking ahead in calendar to see when my next cycle might start and discovered we are probably going on holiday on day 16...what's the betting that, if I actually get to start an IUI cycle, my body decides this is the month it won't ovulate on day 12 and be late so we have to cancel.....

icy, pebbles and pebbles sending glittery fertiliser dog shit to you to grow those lovely follicles and thicken that lining! To everyone else I prescribe ice-cream, scones and jam.

PeaOp · 07/05/2016 11:25

Arggh, damn iPad and fat fingers. I meant icy, pebbles and karla

Lauraqc · 07/05/2016 18:22

Hi ladies,

De-lurking to say hello and to wish Icy, Pebbles and Karla luck with scans and collections and transfers.

You'll be glad to hear I'm still bitter even tho I'm now upduffed. Had our 9 week scan today and discovered TWINS Shock which actually shouldn't be that shocking considering we had 2 transferred back in...however it has now given me an entire new world to google for the next 7 months....

Shitty glitter to you all as always x

PotatoesPastaAndBread · 07/05/2016 19:23

Congratulations laura
Lovely to hear from you, hope you're all doing well.

I' m still lurking and keeping up with everyone. pebbles good luck, karla/icy hope things carry on ok with your cycles and that follicles and linings come out where they jeed to be.

OP posts:
PotatoesPastaAndBread · 07/05/2016 19:27

*need to be
Fucksake

OP posts:
Pebbles086 · 07/05/2016 19:51

icy hope those dud cunts have caught up a bit by Monday. Hope you and Karla have a wee growth spurt over the weekend (obviously follicles not in height) 😝
I am enjoying the lovely weather, been for nice lunches with friends and for dinner. When you take the car no-one questions why Your not ordering a delicious cocktail. The sunshine makes me want to participate in outdoor drinking, never mind ay!
In barren news. I received a letter from my clinic asking if we want to be part of a trial, for fresh transfer vs FET. Apparently studies have shown FET can have higher succes rates due to the embryo being transferred once a lot of the IVF drugs have left your System. We decided a definite no on that. No way are we prepared to delay things by 3 months, we'll take our chances.
peaop your body will be good to you, surely we deserve a break every now and then!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend ladies. I am about to drool over Cillian Murphy in Peaky Blinders.
Baby dust, fairies and sparkly rainbows to all of you

Nurse15 · 07/05/2016 22:54

Icy I think you are my favourite author - you should write books you have such a class way with words!! Your post made me laugh - amazing!! On his barren weekend I am having a massively lazy lie in, drinking cherry vodka and thinking about how much I dislike my MIL (the monster in law!)

icy121 · 08/05/2016 00:06

Laura yes! Fucking yes! Not to be presumptuous (no idea what your original family ideal plan was, but in the basis it was "2 kids please"..) that's fantastic! Clearly all the additional risk and good luck rearing twins and not dying of exhaustion and so on and on and on, but positives: (hopefully) that's it for IVF ever again, no expectation to destroy your vagina delivering them, you'll be able to book in for a sunroof job with no bastard nct types advocating a blood and shit delivery bath! Very pleased for you. Relieved that you're still bitter as hell, and do come back to tell us all the instadiff cunt comments you hear from the fertiles. fantastic news overall!

Having minor freak outs with regard to cost/chances etc. Fell down an Internet hole where I found a mk1 golf convertible with only(!) 60k on the clock is sub £4K; that's 66% of an IVF round that might fail anyway and in the sunny weather who doesn't want to zoom around in an open top 20 year old golf eating a fab?!

Back to reality. Thanks potatoes - glad you're still around in lurkio.

pebblea I'm assuming the FET trial etc was a free go so subject to money situation may be a good idea? Otherwise what would be the fucking benefit? Asking a barren bastard like me to be purely altruistic has got to be beyond the fucking pale?!!

Yay for sunshine anyway ooh maybe it's a sign from something somewhere that IVF will work because I love sunshine and I remember pathetic fallacy from English a level

nurse oh god not a shit mil. Last thing anyone needs, parent drama. Just no. Mind you I've found barrenness has taught me to plumb new depths of bitterness and anger, so now you've acquired these new skills, what better way to use them than on your MIL!

stabs OK tonight, managed to angle the needle right so didn't hurt when plunging too much. Am such a weakling at it!

Dog shit and glitter to all, do with them as you please (especially if it involves glitter bombing / dog shit paper bag fire on the porch-ing of a deserving victim [cackle])

Grumpelstiltskin · 08/05/2016 00:31

Whoa Laura that is amazing news! Nice to hear from you.

Good luck for Monday scans karla and icy. Hope the sun is helping ripen those follies (weird image in head right now- sort of dildocam couch/sunbed hybrid)

Pebbles, nurse all good work on the weekend front.

In barren fun times this end am mainly still bored of waiting around. Though least the sunshine makes it more fun. Just realised today I'd be having a 20 week scan right about now. That was depressing.
Couple of weeks till AF and then starting on a FET. Should be all over the health and vitality but had a pizza and g&t for dinner tonight. Ah, fuckit.

icy121 · 08/05/2016 00:48

grumple had a glass & a half of prosecco this evening. My oh convinced me 3 units is fine. Gave me The Taste though, so definitely back on herbal teas tomorrow. Don't think about what could have been. It's self torture and and achieves thinking. that not me being zen, it's just don't do The Bastards jobs for them! Ive come to believe that there are one million fuckers out there want to shit on me, and they will. It's my job to dodge them. Ok getting tired and angry now. Sleep!

PeaOp · 08/05/2016 06:44

laura that is excellent news. Xx

InThisTogether · 08/05/2016 09:49

haven't checked in for a while (cos I save up my misery to treat myself and read a big tranch of new posts from you all) but I just wanted to post and say that as I am still barrenly infertile I have reached a sad point I was hoping to avoid. My mum's been very ill (dying, in fact) and looks like they will be moving her to a hospice tomorrow. I think i've got my head around it (to an extent) but I think in a Disney dream I wanted to have told her some good pregnancy news before she died. Now it looks like I'm going to have to pop that little myth in my mind and accept I'm never going to be able to give her a cute Grandma announcement or anything similar. I'm an only child so she's never had it from anyone else either.
I don't really know what to say about it - I think she knows I've struggled but we've never really talked about it - without a baby there's not an awful lot to say really is there? and now I'm not going to get a chance to give her that news unless there's a miracle instadiff in the next week or two .

Ohhh life :(
not an awful lot to say is there?
thanks for listening x x

Grumpelstiltskin · 08/05/2016 09:59

Inthis that's heartbreaking. Am so sad for you and the general unfairness of it all. Hope you have people around you to lean on. Us fiends are here to listen too of course. Flowers

BipBippadotta · 08/05/2016 10:24

Delurking to say I'm so sorry, Inthis. Flowers I can't imagine what you're going through.

Congratulations, Laura - and good luck with your pregnancy!

Best of luck to everyone stabbing and scanning - I've got my fingers crossed for you all.

loopylou1984 · 08/05/2016 11:12

Inthis - I'm sorry. It's so hard. You're right, there's nothing we can say to help, but rant away about it here as much as you need to.

I just got future baby bombed in sainsburys. As in 'my gf wants her first baby by the time she's 30 so now we have a 5 year plan' I wanted to scream at him. 'DIDNT WE ALL, yet here I am at 30.5yo still not even pg despite ttc for 2.5yrs', but good luck with that' but I didn't, I smiled and nodded in all the right places. Then went and bought a fruit cider slush puppy to have later. X

icy121 · 08/05/2016 18:26

inthis so sorry to read about your mum. As above, nothing I can say to help, but thinking about you. X