secondary infertility

[mumtosammy]

i have been trying for a second baby for 2 years with no luck (it took 12 months with DS - he's now 3.8). i've just been referred by my dr to an infertility clinic, as he thinks i'm probably not ovulating (tests have not shown anything else up). anyone else out there had an experience of this? think the next steps will be a hycosy and then clomid, any tips or advice on what to ask at the appointment much appreciated!
anyone else out there struggling with the thought of a growing age gap and sadness that their DS might not have another sibling? also feeling that we're getting further and further away from the 'baby stage', it seems so long ago.
also the process of infertility appointments seems so long! we've already been in the system months having the gp appointments and still not got the hospital date.
anyone else feel like this?

Just joined this thread as have been ttc for 11 months now and an 38, so feel like the clocks ticking. Already have an 19 month old DD. Recently diagnosed with pcos and am waiting for my first appt with infertility consultant (Friday).I guess I just wanted to check out what might be in store for us, so interesting to hear your stories. Hoping there are happy endings out there for us all.

Thanks for sharing your story Frankie. I'm going through the NHS so have only been offered the most basic tests and have been put on Clomid with no scanning etc. I might go private if I don't get anywhere in the next few months. It nice to hear that people do fall again naturally after such a long time trying.

Welcome katy. Good luck with your consultant appt. I know that feeling that time is running out. I'm 37 and every month that goes by I feel like the chances are getting smaller. Let's hope we all get happy endings!

hi everyone, katy, i know how you feel too, i'm 36 and feel like that quite often. Frankie, thanks for your story, I’ve never heard of those tests so that's really interesting. Hope all all is going well with you and before you know it you’ll be having your 12 week scan and then it will all feel a bit more real.

I’m feeling a bit despondent as I still haven’t heard back about my HSG – it’s been 3 weeks. I rang the consultant’s secretary and spoke to her about it, she said she would raise it and try to get the consultant to look at the report (which is now in) but that i shouldn't expect an appointment before xmas. all a bit disappointing as i thought i'd hear back quite quickly. i had really hoped to know the results and be on clomid before xmas - i know i shouldnt have got my hopes up or got myself fixed on a timescale.

How is your clomid going this month sheddie? are you finding it ok with little side effects still? have you had any more thoughts on going private? i don't even understand how it works with private in our area, i find the whole system so confusing. i feel like i'm struggling with the lack of response and lack of not knowing when anything will happen in the system at the moment - i wonder if it is easier in the private system?

Hi mumtosammy. Sorry to hear about the delays in getting your results. That must be so frustrating. I guess all you can do is try to have a nice Christmas and forget about things for a while (easier said than done I know)!
I haven't had many symptoms this time with the Clomid. It has made me have 33 day cycles though and I was always 28/29 days before! Makes me worry that it is making things worse. Needless to say I am not holding out much hope for a BFP!
I will definitely go down the private route if nothing happens in the next couple of months. I'm sure things happen quicker when you start paying! I have been recommended a clinic by a friend and it sounds good. I'm just conscious that if we go down the IVF route the success rate gets much worse as you get older so at 37 I don't want to wait much longer.
Anyway I'm off to Center Parcs tomorrow for a few days so I plan to try to forget about everything and enjoy being with DD and feeling Christmassy!
We will get there I'm sure!

hope you had a good time at center parcs sheddie, yes i know what you mean, it seems like you need to go private to really make anything happen.
i'm finally seeing the consultant again on 26 jan and should hopefully be prescribed clomid then...
fingers crossed your clomid will have good results and it wont lead to going down that route anyway...

A few more weeks to wait mumtosammy - let's hope you get some Clomid prescribed. Did you get you HSG results? I had my HSG done just before Xmas and heard back this week that the tubes are all clear.
I've now had three months of 50mg Clomid with no success so have now been prescribed 100mg for three months. I'm not looking forward to having increased symptoms (they definitely make you feel more grumpy/emotional), but I've got to give it a go.
Good luck for the 26th. x

Thanks sheddie, fingers crossed for both of us. I don’t know what we’ll do if the clomid doesn’t work, I have severe reservations about ivf, as it feels like a massive lottery and I will struggle with it I think. The practical side of it seems difficult – my work would not give me any time off and I’d be travelling at least 20 miles for appointments. Like you, I’ll be 37 and the success rates are quite low already. My head is saying we should just try to accept it if the clomid doesn’t work and try to move on. My ds starts school in September so it would be a similar timing, maybe I should just try to move into that next phase of life and leave the ‘baby stage’ behind us.
Anyway, one step at a time!!

Yes I have to say I feel the same about IVF. I have quite a full on job and am not sure how well I would cope with the treatment while still managing at work.
I have started to think about the positives of having one child - I'm sure it's probably less stressful in some ways! However, more than anything I would just love DD to have a sibling. You're right though - the longer it takes the harder it would feel to go back to the sleepless night etc!
Let's hope the next 6 months are lucky for us.

Totally agree sheddie, there are definitely lots of practical advantages of having one child, and I think it’s more fun in a way because it’s easier to spend time with them doing what you both enjoy, but it pales into insignificance when you want them to have a sibling. Lately I’ve had comments from a couple of parents of two children who say they love both kids dearly but sort of wish they’d stuck at one because it’s become so hard and tiring since having two… but that’s not what I want. I want the hurly burly of two voices and two sets of likes and dislikes.
Anway, fingers crossed for us both. Hope your month is going ok. Only 10 days til my appointment now – keep wondering if they’ll want me to be monitored throughout the month, could be quite time consuming with work etc.
I found myself reading up about IVF properly this week for the first time, as I decided I need to know what it really involves. I’m starting to think we should go for it if the clomid fails, because when we look back on our lives we’ll wish we’d done everything we could…

Hi everyone,

This thread is due a success story soon, surely?

I'm still on waiting list for lap. DH has me on his private insurance but I have to wait until May before I can use it (have to be a member for 6 months and stupidly we only added me to policy when we realised I had problems).

I sometimes wonder should I just sit back and relax until the surgery, forget ttc and stop worrying...then of course you're eaten away by the 'but what if?' or 'there's always a chance' etc. Horrible.

Hi tapdancing

I am having a lap in a couple of weeks after a 3 month wait. Unfortunately I checked with our private medical and anything to do with infertility is not covered so we will have to go on the nhs or pay for it ourselves. So even if you were on it they may not cover the procedure.

We have actually put ttc on hold and I have to say that mentally it has helped me enormously - I have found a bit of perspective and feel a bit more ready for the next few months - whatever may come.

And yes we are due for some good news soon on this thread!!

I take it your private medical care have access to your records etc so know your lap is linked to infertility as opposed to pain? Just wondering if there's a chance they'll do my lap for 'discomfort' reasons as opposed to infertility

You could try passing it by them for pain but the first question they asked was if it was for infertility and rather stupidly I said yes.

Hi both
Yes we have a workplace scheme to claim some money back against private costs and it specifically says that infertility treatment is not included. It must be hard waiting so long for the lap. Good luck with it in a couple of weeks, hope it goes ok. Yes, I agree we’re due some good news on this thread!!

Had my appointment with the consultant yesterday and came away with my clomid prescription. I’m going to have a 21 day progesterone blood test to see if made me ovulate in month 1, which will then determine if they up the dose for month 2. There won’t be any other monitoring apart from that.
I am quite pleased, but I did ask if the problem could be anything other than ovulation failure, and she said they check four things (egg store, ovulation, tubes and sperm) and other than that they don’t check for any other potential problems (she mentioned antibodies to sperm?). so it could be something else that we don’t know about, in which case the clomid wont work.
I do feel like the treatment is not based on great evidence, because I only had a couple of blood tests and the timings of them were tricky with me not having a set cycle, so in a way I wasn’t surprised they didn’t show I’d ovulated…
Now I’m worrying that this treatment is a bit of a red herring…
how is everyone else doing?

Did they mention how they plan to check your tubes mumtosammy? I assume it'll be surgery?

I'm convinced that's what they're going to l find during my lap

Hi tapdancing

I had my lap and dye this morning. I was also completely convinced there was something wrong but apparently all is completely clear, which is good news but also slightly frustrating - there is no problem that can be easily solved if that makes sense.

Apparently we have to now wait 6 weeks for an appointment with the consultant which is quite frankly ridiculous, and since we don't get treatment on the nhs anyway we are going to go private and I think that iui will be on the cards.

I'm now starting to research clinics etc so we can hit it with a vengeance. And formulate my next stage of the baby making plan.

Hi all,
I know how you feel mumtosammy. I feel like I have just been given these tablets after a couple of tests and just left to it! No monitoring at all. I'm in my 2ww on my first 100mg month - I don't feel particularly hopeful though. When do you start taking the tablets?

Any news on when your lap will be done Tapdancing?

I'm sure you'll find things start moving a bit more quickly when you find a private clinic tomato. Do you know anyone else that has used a clinic who could recommend one?

Yes - I have a few friends who have had IVF (that I know about) and am actually seeing the one who has been through every type of treatment going on Thursday so will pick her brains. Have just spent a few hours researching and the CRGH is #1 on my list - it seems to have a good track record and dh feels more comfortable with a hospital setting.

good luck with the lap Tapdancing, i had an hsg and pelvic ultrasound to check mine. hope it all goes ok.
Tomatoplantproject, I know how you feel about waiting, we had to wait for 3 months after all my tests just to meet the consultant for 5 mins to read through a booklet about clomid with her and get given a prescription form.
The process itself is so frustrating.
She did tell me that the next step would be IVF for us -I've looked up the success rates at the nearest private clinic to us for my age - 18%. It seems like such a huge and terrible gamble.
Fingers crossed for your 2WW this month sheddie, hope the 100mg was not too bad in terms of side effects. good luck.

How is everyone doing? I'm just waiting to take my first round of Clomid, probably be starting it next week.

Hi there

We have our first appointment at the clinic tomorrow and are seeing a consultant and a nurse. Weirdly I am very excited about it and have been feeling miles better since making the appointment and finally feeling like we might be making progress.

Good luck with the clomid - I'd be interested to know how you get on. I wouldn't be surprised if we go down that route to begin with.

Good luck for tomorrow tomatoplantproject, hope it goes well. I know what you mean about feeling better with doing something about it. I felt like that too with my appointment coming round. Hope you get on well tomorrow.

Hi all,
I'm on my 5th month of Clomid, second month on 100mg. I'm pretty sure it's not going to work for us because from what I've read 80% of people who get pregnant on Clomid do so in the first couple of months. It's so upsetting. I'm ovulating because I've had positive OPKs and rising temperature afterwards etc, but something is obviously not working properly for us. I really hope you have better luck mumtosammy. One of us has got to get some luck!

Good luck for tomorrow tomato. Let us know how it goes.

Sorry to hear that sheddie.I think one of the hardest things is allowing yourself to hope and then being disappointed. I'm a bit nervous about starting on Clomid as I dont even think I might be pregnant each month anymore and it's felt easier. But all thst will start up again with clomid. Have you thought anymore about next steps for you?
Anyway fingers crossed for us both.