secondary infertility

[mumtosammy]

i have been trying for a second baby for 2 years with no luck (it took 12 months with DS - he's now 3.8). i've just been referred by my dr to an infertility clinic, as he thinks i'm probably not ovulating (tests have not shown anything else up). anyone else out there had an experience of this? think the next steps will be a hycosy and then clomid, any tips or advice on what to ask at the appointment much appreciated!
anyone else out there struggling with the thought of a growing age gap and sadness that their DS might not have another sibling? also feeling that we're getting further and further away from the 'baby stage', it seems so long ago.
also the process of infertility appointments seems so long! we've already been in the system months having the gp appointments and still not got the hospital date.
anyone else feel like this?

hi closephine, sorry to hear your break has not been as helpful as you hoped. i totally understand what you mean.
i've had a bad 2 ww wait as well, i have been in such a state on the clomid this month, i've felt really unstable but it's finally lifted now and i have my AF. i knew it hadnt worked deep down because the bad symptoms usually stop around ovulation, and this month they carried on all month.
got one more month of clomid to take - just trying to decide whether to have a break and do it in the new year, or go for it before christmas and then start the new year fresh and move on.
how is everyone else?

Hi MumtoSammy sorry to hear you've had a rubbish month too :( pardon my ignorance, but if you know clomid works and you've fallen pregnant using it, why do you only have one more month? What is the next step for you?

I wish I'd tracked my ovulation now! Tomorrow is day 28 of my cycle but they normally last at least 30 days so thinking AF is due around Saturday. Took a test on Sunday morning and it was negative but I guess that isn't definitive if it was 6 days before AF due!? Think I'll torture myself with another tomorrow morning.

Big fat negative and spotting. It infuriates me how unfair all this is!!! I know we are the 'lucky' ones experiencing it a second time round and i cannot begin to imagine having to go through this without the joy that is my DS but I still feel like NOONE should have to go through this sh@$t to have a baby at any point. MEH.

(Sorry for the negativity on here. I try to stay as positive as possible in real life as don't want what Im going through to impact on ds, so this a good place to vent)

sorry to hear that closephine, my af came properly today too. totally understand how you feel, it's all so unfair. No wonder we feel angry sometimes.
The reason i only have one more month is that the consultant has said (and the clomid instructions say) you can only take 6 months, otherwise there might be a link with ovarian cancer. Going to give the last month a go. The next step then would be IVF, which is such a shame as i dont need most of the treatment that goes with IVF in order to conceive. i dont think we would progress to IVF, I think we're going to try to move on and be happy with what we've got.

Hi girls. Sorry to see AF has caught you again. It has me too. Can I join your fed up corner? I'm soooooo fed up with it all now. I got more than 6mths clomid with DS one Mummy2Sammy. Have a chat with your doctor see what other options there are.

I'm popping my pills and hoping this month is the lucky Xmas month for us all! 💕

Hi laptop, sure, come join the corner... It's a miserable place to be! What 'pills' are you popping? I wish there was something I could take to help boost my chances. Cant shake the feeling that although our only identifiable problem is with DH's sperm quality that there is still something hiding with me. I guess I'm just searching for a quick fix!

MumtoSammy I saw your other post. I don't think its time for you to give up yet. Personally if I was you I'm not sure id accept that your miscarriages were just bad luck. Have they given you anything/can they give you anything if and when you fall pregnant as a precautionary measure at the very least? I've read about some women having to take progesterone?

Had a massive wobble today. As I was about to go out I was putting Ds in the car and I could see a couple of neighbours huddled around another male neighbour - his wife was pregnant so I thought... 'Must have had the baby' and carried on sorting myself out, but then when he drove past me and there was the baby seat in the back of the car ready to go and collect his wife and new baby from the hospital I just choked up and sobbed. Thank god no one was around by that point, just got in the car and cried to myself for most of my journey. I don't reaent them for what they are getting (it's their first so that would be pretty harsh of me), just want a bit of it too! Then this evening I suddenly had this weird and horrible feeling come over me that it's never going to happen.

Sorry laptop no idea why I put the word 'pills' in inverted commas! Makes them sound like something dodgy lol.

how is everyone doing? i'm on day 13 of clomid round today and for the last few days have been having light bleeding. i rang the consultant to check with her and the secretary got back to me with a message saying not to worry, it happens sometimes. i've been ovulating as i got positives on OPKs last few days.
has anyone experienced this?
feeling really despondent about the chances for this month now . around this time i should be implanting - it seems highly unlikely when i'm bleeding too?
hope everyone else is ok.

Hi MumtoSammy

I'm afraid I don't have any experience but if the bleed is only light I wouldn't worry too much about it affecting implantation. I think some women bleed a bit as a natural sign of ovulation.

I've got a suspicion I had a chemical pregnancy last month. I started spotting about 4 days before AF was due but for some bizarre reason did a test even tho I knew I wasn't pregnant. It didn't show positive straight away, but when I went back to it there was a very faint line. I know you shouldn't go back and that it could have been an evaporation line but I have used many many MANY of those tests before and never had an evaporation line (I got another 4 out the bin to compare). My AF also lasted almost two weeks from the start of the spotting to the end... Normally only last about 6 days... Don't really know what to think! Or how to broach it with my dr. What would you say? I'm tempted to tell a white lie and not tell them Id gone back to the test.. Then perhaps I might at least get some blood tests/further investigations?! What do you think?!

Can I come and join you? Have been TTCing no.2 for 2 1/2 years now, with a break in the middle as OH had to have chemo - all fine now. Saw the doctor's six months ago and bloods were normal, no fibroids etc. regular cycles etc. I now need to pluck up courage to go again, it's almost like I don't want to know. (OH is definitely not infertile from chemo as he has had a test.) I need somewhere to vent as I can't in real life.

Hi ionacat

Vent away! Sorry to hear your oh has been sick but glad he's on the mend now.

What tests have you had so far? I hope you can get some answers.

My DH keeps trying to tell me that medicine isn't black and white and that we won't get a clear cut answer. Such a pain when a clear cut answer would be so very helpful :)

Hi there ladies, just wondering if anyone on here has been diagnosed as having fibroids as the reason for not falling pg/miscarriage. I've had 3 mc, last in Feb and been unable to fall pg since then. Periods have been a nightmare since having ds in 2013 and had chronic pain in August, like labour, which I now realise was uterus trying to expel this fibroid which is apparently taking up nearly all the room in my uterus. Having it removed on 17th of Jan in theatre under g.a, but just hoping someone could tell me how many days they took off work and how long they waited after to ttc?

Not had them Frecklefire. But I wish you well with the op.

How's everyone doing? Still in this same dam boat? Wish I could get out. 🙈

Still stuck on the boat too laptop! On the waiting list for a laparoscopy and then after that we'll be heading for Ivf I think.

still on the boat too ladies, hope you're all doing ok. we've finished on the clomid now. The nhs consultant said ivf is our next step but we've decided to get a private referral and see what all our options really are, not just the nhs route.
hope it's the right decision. part of me was ready to give up after the last round of clomid, it was gruelling.

I hope one of us falls overboard and swims to shore soon! Pretty sure I booked a quick sightseeing trip, not a round world cruise.

I think you're wise to get a private referral mumtosammy, if you can already fall pregnant on clomid, how woukd Ivf help?

yes it really feels like a (£3,500) sledge hammer to crack a nut to me!!
after the final round of clomid i was completely ready to hand in the towel on it all. part of it is my age, and partly my son's age. he's 5 now. the age gap has always been a big thing for me. it would be 6 years now if we were to conceive in the next few months, it makes me feel panicky to think of it.
fingers crossed the private consultation will shed some light on what the chances really are.
and hoping that one of us has some luck soon...

How's everyone doing? Nothing to update here and practically given up now. Hope your ok xx

Hi laptop, so sorry to hear you are still in that place. Me too. We have decided to stop pursuing it now. We went for a second opinion with a private consultant and after a detailed pelvic scan which she conducted herself, she’s said I have premature ovarian failure. She says ivf would be an option but it would be the highest dose of drugs, and the success rate is not good. We’ve decided not to put ourselves through it and waste ds’s childhood going through it all. I feel more able to let it go now and actually feel better than I have in ages, now we’ve made the decision.
Just want to let people know that it can get easier over time.
I hope you’re all ok.

Sorry to read your news but pleased in a strange way your accepting it. Wishing you all the best with your son & enjoying every precious moment of childhood with him. 😘

thanks so much laptop. wishing you all the best too and hoping it all works out for your family, no matter what happens in the future xxx