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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

secondary infertility

397 replies

mumtosammy · 08/08/2014 13:15

i have been trying for a second baby for 2 years with no luck (it took 12 months with DS - he's now 3.8). i've just been referred by my dr to an infertility clinic, as he thinks i'm probably not ovulating (tests have not shown anything else up). anyone else out there had an experience of this? think the next steps will be a hycosy and then clomid, any tips or advice on what to ask at the appointment much appreciated!
anyone else out there struggling with the thought of a growing age gap and sadness that their DS might not have another sibling? also feeling that we're getting further and further away from the 'baby stage', it seems so long ago.
also the process of infertility appointments seems so long! we've already been in the system months having the gp appointments and still not got the hospital date.
anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
tomatoplantproject · 13/02/2015 18:19

Oh sheddie - it's horrible isn't it - that horrible cycle of hope and crashing despair. Good luck!

We had our consultation this afternoon and have a lot of thinking to do in a real hurry . The consultant has recommended that, assuming the results of the fsh test and day 1 scans are ok, we move straight to iui with clomid. I'm due in the next couple of days, and would start the process on day 3 so we basically need to make a decision this evening.

Except.... Dh needs to get his head around it. He's been ridiculously busy with work and was quite shocked at how clinical it all was. We also need to look at costs and make a decision about whether this is the right clinic for us or whether we should go somewhere a bit more personal. He's also questioning whether it's even worth going for iui since the success rates are quite low (although since we have a rather noisy daughter already I would hope that the odds are a bit higher for us).

So I basically think we will end up waiting another cycle for dh to get with the programme (which he will but there's no point in pressuring him) or going for it straight away which is hugely appealing from my point of view.

Lots to think about!!

Original poster
mumtosammy · 13/02/2015 18:39

Good luck with all the decision making tomatoplantproject, it sounds really positive in that you can progress things quite fast if you decide to.
Hope you can find the right way forward for you both x

OP posts:
maggiethemagpie · 13/02/2015 23:00

I wasn't ovulating when I tried to conceive my second. My first I got pregnant by accident so wasn't trying. I put on about 20 lbs inbetween which may have made a difference. I was lucky enough to be put on clomid straight away. I also cut out carbs as I heard high insulin levels can affect things. I got lucky on my third clomid cycle, had a baby girl. Good luck.

maggiethemagpie · 13/02/2015 23:02

Maybe I was unusual here, but I didn't have to be referred to any infertility specialist. My GP did the ovulation test and when that came back negative just gave me a prescription for clomid. I guess your GP won't consider that?

Original poster
mumtosammy · 15/02/2015 08:50

Hi maggiethemagpie thanks for your story, lovely to hear about clomid working out and glad you had a happy ending to your journey.
I dont think my dr would have been able to prescribe clomid - and even when I got the prescription from the consultant it had to be collected from a hospital pharmacist only, due to its classification. It would have been much easier if my gp could have prescribed it, he said from the off that he thought this was the problem but it took nearly a year of being in the system to get a prescription.

OP posts:
tomatoplantproject · 16/02/2015 14:41

I think our plan is coming together. Dh is getting to terms with the idea of having treatment - I think he came out of the appointment quite shocked and extremely unsure but seems to be a bit more accepting now.

We're going to spend the next month doing some more research. I'm going to see our GP to talk it through with her, and hopefully get the outstanding blood tests we need doing on the nhs. I'm also going to see if she has an opinion about the different fertility clinics around. The good news is that I think the cost of IUI doesn't vary wildly between clinics so we don't have to have that debate about cost vs success rates (which I think we will if we go for IVF further down the line). We are just going to have to tighten our belts for the foreseeable.

All being well we will then start treatment at the beginning of my next cycle, otherwise we will visit a different clinic and maybe take a month or so longer.

I was massively disappointed over the weekend that we weren't leaping into things but if we had jumped right in I don't think we would have been doing it as a team (if that makes sense) which would have been no good if things don't work out first time. And this way I can religiously take my vitamins, stop drinking altogether, eat healthily and work on my fitness with a relatively short goal in sight.

Lots to think about but I'm finally feeling more pragmatic about moving forwards.

Original poster
mumtosammy · 20/02/2015 12:28

hi tomatoplantproject, that s like a great plan. willl be keeping fingers crossed for you. glad you're feeling positive about it all. that's definitely the main thing, it has to be right for you both. best of luck.

OP posts:
Laptopgirl · 23/02/2015 06:28

Hello all Grin

I've just come across this thread so going to try and have a read through to 'meet' you all, but as it's busy thread might take a little while.

I'm a mum to a 3yr old and we have been TTC his sibling for two and half years now. Feeling a bit fed up and looking for some hope and inspiration!

I've got PCOS, my lovely GP has prescribed 6 rounds of clomid and I started my second cycle last night. I did a CD21 OV test which was positive according to the GP secretary but I've no idea on the number.

I'm knocking on 40's door now so this year is my last year TTC and I'm beginning to find it hard emotionally, but also at some point I have to have a cut off and accept this is my family.

Look forward to getting to know you all. Grin

Sheddie · 23/02/2015 21:40

Hi Laptopgirl. Welcome to the thread! We're all in a similar boat to you….and we're well overdue a success story! I am also on Clomid but on my 5th cycle with no luck so far. I am going to go back to see the consultant if no luck this month.

I know what you mean about when to stop trying. My DP is 43 and says he doesn't want to carry on trying for too much longer. When you are young you never imagine that having a family would be this difficult do you.

Anyway, welcome and good luck with your second round of Clomid!

Tomato - sounds like a good plan. I think you did the right thing waiting to make sure you and your DH were both ready to go forward. Let us know how the IUI goes. I think that will be the next step for me too.

Laptopgirl · 23/02/2015 23:53

Thanks for the welcome sheddie. My DH is the same age so totally understand where your coming from. Fingers crossed for this next cycle everyone. X

Withalittlesparkle · 24/02/2015 07:43

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns about this post and so we've agreed to take it down.

Laptopgirl · 25/02/2015 08:03

Withalittlesparkle - losing weight is always an advantage to our health but I personally don't believe it's the sole reason some ladies can't fall pregnant. I was heavier than that when I had my first ds. There are many bigger ladies pregnant around.

Sooooo try not to get too upset and do what you can to cut down and get fitter. I'm doing that with walking and logging my food intake.

I'm on CD 5 now so a couple of weeks until OV time for me as I have a 31/32 day cycle.

Personal question but hopefully no one will mind me asking - how often do you have sex?

Withalittlesparkle · 25/02/2015 08:10

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns about this post and so we've agreed to take it down.

Laptopgirl · 26/02/2015 22:38

Hope your feeling better. X

Laptopgirl · 06/03/2015 21:23

How's everyone doing? Xx

Original poster
mumtosammy · 07/03/2015 09:49

Hi laptop and withalittle sparkle, thanks for sharing your stories and sorry you're having difficulties too.
How is everyone?
I'm on day 16 of first cycle of clomid. Finding it ok but have definitely been getting more tetchy / anxious and hot flushes.

Can I ask what everyone does about alcohol? Do you avoid altogether? As we've been trying for so long I had been having a drink - just one - but quite often. Now I'm on clomid I'm wondering about givibg that up. It says in the nice guide lines one unit only (which is much less than a glass of wine).
I guess it's a balance between givng your body the best chance of conceiving but also continuing to live your life and feel relaxed.

OP posts:
CookieDough9 · 07/03/2015 15:23

Can I join you lovely ladies?
We have been actively trying for 2 months now. By actively I mean having sex every other day to increase our chances. We have not used contraception for 6 years and this only resulted in one pregnancy.
DD is 2 and took 4 years for us to conceive. I had endo, low progesterone. Had two laps back then and then referred for IVF but conceived naturally after appt with consultant, who said We would only get one round of IVF on NHS as I have low ovarian reserve and we were very unlikely to be successful.
I have used opks this month but they were negative so plucked up the courage and went to my GP yesterday to discuss this. She has arranged day 21 blood tests but I will have to wait for next cycle as I was on day 22 when I went to see her.
I never thought it would be this hard to start a family. It's been a hard journey and now I will probably have to go through it all again as we would love to have another child. We would love four but time and luck is not on our side Sad

Sheddie · 08/03/2015 21:58

Hi everyone and welcome Cookiedough. I agree it is definitely a difficult journey.
I have the occasional drink mumtosammy. To be honest though I am not a big drinker anyway. The only other thing I have done is cut out caffeine. I really hope you have some luck with Clomid. My period arrived today so that's it for me - I'm not going to take my final lot of tablets. The dilemma I have now is whether to go back to the consultant I saw before or just bite the bullet and ring a private clinic.

Original poster
mumtosammy · 11/03/2015 16:40

hi cookiedough9, good luck with your tests. hi sheddie, sorry to hear that. it's very disappointing and i can totally understand why you dont want to take the clomid for a final month. 6 months is a really long time being on medication that messes with your hormones - i'm already thinking that myself on month 1.
good luck with your decision on whether to go private or go back to the consultant. i hope the next stage of your journey is much more successful. fingers crossed. x

OP posts:
Laptopgirl · 15/03/2015 06:17

Hi all.

Mummy2sammy - I don't drink very much really so I don't limit my low intake.

Laptopgirl · 15/03/2015 06:21

Whoops too quick!

Shreddie - good luck with your decision - if finances allow, if it were me I'd go private.

Cookie dough - welcome Smile it's a strange world this TTC whilst having a little person already - wishing you every success. I too would of liked 4 but at 39 I'm just hoping I get to have one more now.

I'm just coming out of ovulation. I'm hoping we have had a good try - but my little one has been really ill this week with Tonisilitis so not much sleep or couple time. What will be will be!

Happy Mother's Day all xxxx

Original poster
mumtosammy · 18/03/2015 15:33

hi everyone, how are you doing this week? my hormones are all over the place, not sure if it's the clomid or pmt or clomid-fuelled pmt! i must admit i;m not finding it easy being on clomid, i feel very hormonal.
I got my results back from day 21 progesterone test for month 1 on clomid yesterday - i didnt ovulate. so it's 100mg next month and another day 21 test to see how that goes.
anyone else taking 100mg?
I'm a bit anxious of the side effects...

OP posts:
Sheddie · 19/03/2015 21:40

Hi mumtosammy. Sorry to hear you've been finding it difficult on Clomid. If it's any consolation I found the side effects easier the longer I was on the tablets (not that you want to be on them for long)! I did two months at 100mg and it didn't seem much worse than when I was on50mg.
I've decided to throw money at the problem and have booked an appointment at a private fertility clinic on 30th March. It feels quite good to know we might move on to something that works for us!
Good luck for the next month.
Hope everyone else is ok.

Original poster
mumtosammy · 20/03/2015 11:49

Sheddie, thanks so much for your comments, that’s made me feel loads better as I’d sort of imagined it getting worse and worse over the months! I actually feel a lot better today.
That’s great about your appointment. It sounds like a good decision. I’ll have my fingers crossed for the 30th for you that it all goes well. It seems like you can move as fast as you want to once you get a private appointment.
Best of luck.

OP posts:
Laptopgirl · 23/03/2015 06:14

Sorry to read clomid is making life even more emotional for you mummy to Sammy.

Good luck next Monday Shreddie.

I'm just waiting on AF. I don't feel very confident and I've woken up from a nightmare SiL announced she was pregnant. I've a feeling this announcement might come soon in real life and I'm struggling with my emotions. How do all cope with pregnancy announcements?