secondary infertility

[mumtosammy]

i have been trying for a second baby for 2 years with no luck (it took 12 months with DS - he's now 3.8). i've just been referred by my dr to an infertility clinic, as he thinks i'm probably not ovulating (tests have not shown anything else up). anyone else out there had an experience of this? think the next steps will be a hycosy and then clomid, any tips or advice on what to ask at the appointment much appreciated!
anyone else out there struggling with the thought of a growing age gap and sadness that their DS might not have another sibling? also feeling that we're getting further and further away from the 'baby stage', it seems so long ago.
also the process of infertility appointments seems so long! we've already been in the system months having the gp appointments and still not got the hospital date.
anyone else feel like this?

Hello! I hope it's ok if I join in?

I'm 29 and DH is 31. My DD is 2.7 years old and we've been TTC since she was 4 months old. She was conceived in the blink of an eye after I came off the pill so we never assumed it would be an issue having another...
Fast forward to today and I've been diagnosed with not only completely anovulatory PCOS (though my BMI is 22, and I have no other outward symptoms) but after a lap&dye in January I also found out I have extremely 'lazy' tubes - they're not blocked but it seems highly unlikely that we will conceive given both of these factors. I took Clomid for 4 months which did make me ovulate but it seems the tubes were too much of an issue.

We are due to start our first cycle of IVF next month - I'm starting proverb soon to get to the end of this cycle! Feeling a bit nervous but also cautiously excited. Does anyone have any tips?!
It doesn't help that DH works away for 6 weeks at at time so we will be using his frozen sperm. It means he won't be here for the majority of the treatment so I'll be doing it alone and I'm a bit of a wuss!

It does hurt watching all our friends have their second (and third!) children. It's sad to see so many girls in the same place but in a strange way it's nice to know I'm not alone... nobody really talks about secondary infertility.

Hi and welcome drgoldierocks and sorry to hear you're in the same boat. I'm sure many more people go through secondary infertility than we ever realise.
I've just had a BFP with my first round of IVF and can't quite believe it. My advice would be don't read too much on the internet because you'll end up obsessing about what you should or shouldn't be doing. Just follow what your clinic tells you to do. The actual procedures are no where near as bad as I imagined. Even the injections are fine after you've done the first one. I actually found it worse being on Clomid.
I would say the worst bit of the whole process was the 2WW which was agonising. Don't do what I did and test early!
It's a shame your DH won't be there to support you but I told close friends and family and everyone was supportive.

If you have any other questions just ask.

Hello ladies old and new!

Congrats sheddie! ??????

I've booked my HSG xray privately £450! Hope it works some BFP magic! ??

Look forward to following how everyone is doing. Baby dust to all xxxx

hi everyone
sheddie that is amazing news, so so pleased for you. everyone else, good luck, at least we all know we're doing everything we can to get where we want to be xxx

Very true mummy2sammy - how are you doing? ????

Thanks mumtosammy, how are you doing?
I had a bit of a scare yesterday. Had to go for an emergency scan because of pains and bleeding. I've had a big internal bleed so have been signed off work for the week and told to have complete bed rest. All a bit scary!

hi sheddie, thinking of you and hoping you are able to rest up this week. it must have been so scary and stressful yesterday, hope you are feeling ok today. take good care of yourself.
I am doing ok thanks, I feel surprisingly ok now after a couple of weeks to get used to the idea of going back into the system. I'm going to get back on the clomid ASAP and just keep my fingers crossed that it gives us another chance. I still have four months' worth to go at.
only thing is, trying to get back in touch with consultant and secretary not returning my calls!! I've decided just to start to take the clomid on my first period anyway, because the consultant has a 3 month waiting list for appointments and I dont want to wait around.
Hope everyone else is doing ok this week xx

Gosh, sheddie, pleased to hear everything is well. That must've been so scary for you.

mumtosammy, I hope you have been being extra kind to yourself. The added stress of appointment admin is so unnecessary. I really struggle to get appointments with the GP - must ring between 8-8:30, always engaged, then no appointments left. Then GP is often running 1hr late, leaving just enough time for me to work myself up into a lather every time I go! Why does it have to be so hard?!

I have had another acupuncture appointment. I find it relaxing, but only time will tell if it is working any magic.

Also, I have just got the news that someone I know is pregnant with their 3rd child - so I am currently working through the heart-pounding, gut-wrenching initial reaction to that. I sure you all know what I mean Feeling guilty about the bitterness is not doing my mental health any good might crack open the wine

Sorry you find yourself here drgoldie. Fingers crossed you won't be here long

I have booked my appointment for my HSG (NHS online, stress free!!) but seeing as I ovulate anywhere between CD10 and CD17, choosing a date was a wee bit tricky. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will end up cancelling it when my period doesn't come on the exact day I have guesstimated!

Can I join please?

I have an almost 3 year old from 1st round IVF after failing to conceive naturally. I have thin, ovulatory
PCOS.

Sadly, I have miscarried twice, both in the last 8 months. Last November I lost a pregnancy at 6+ weeks following a frozen embryo cycle with a frostie from my fresh cycle.
Then last week I lost my one and only naturally conceived pregnancy (after taking metformin for the first time?) at 9 weeks, after seeing the heartbeat and all being well at 7 weeks.

Waiting for blood tests and referral to recurrent miscarriage clinic now. My nice GP referred me after 'just' 2 miscarriages, despite the rule being 3 minimum, due to my age ( nearly 38) and fertility history.

So, I'm on / have been on a few threads under various names: IVF / assisted conception, (recurrent) miscarriage and now secondary infertility.... The triple whammy!

inamaymaybewrong, i'm so sorry to hear of your losses and that you find yourself here. good luck with your referral to the clinic.

just finally managed to get the message from the consultant from her secretary and we can start back on the clomid when i get my next af. feeling a bit more positive - 4 chances left.
does anyone else know if one good response to clomid might indicate i will react in the same way again? or how random could this be?
hope everyone else is doing ok.
sheddie, how are you this week? are you feeling ok?

Hello - just wondering if I can join in too? I posted a seperate thread earlier today but may be easier to jump into this one!

I am almost 35, with a naturally conceived DS who is 2 (3 in Nov). We have been TTC a sibling for him for almost two years now.

I am on Clomid (just starting month 3) and I guess after that thinking about IUI. No issues with DH, but my ovarian age is a little high. Quite frustrated really!

Nice to find you all on here, good luck with everything

Hi and welcome inamaymaybewrong and PipandPosey - sorry you find yourselves here but hopefully you'll realise there are lots of us in similar situations.
That's good news mumtosammy! My hunch would be that if it's worked for you once, there must be a good chance of it happening again. Wishing you so much luck for this month.
I did my week of bed rest and haven't had any more bleeding. Off for another scan on Weds afternoon to check if everything is ok. Keeping everything crossed.
Hope everyone else is ok.

Thanks Sheddie and good luck to you. So do we have some graduates on this thread? That is heartening....

Has anyone done IUI yet?

Yes I'm officially a graduate PipandPosey but I'm not convinced it's really happening yet! We tried to conceive for about 20 months with no luck. All our tests came back ok. I tried Clomid for 5 months with no luck and then just decided to bite the bullet and go straight for IVF (mainly due to the fact that I'm 37 and felt time was running out). It worked first time which totally shocked me.
So no IUI experience I'm afraid. How long are you going to stick with the Clomid for?

Wow Sheddie that's amazing news re your BFP and that's great that all seems to be well after your scare... Keeping my fingers crossed for you that everything is smooth sailing from here onward!

Henrycocoa I hear you about the wine - everybody I know either seems to have fallen pregnant or had a baby this very week. Such an awful roller coaster of emotion; bitterness and guilt and joy and sadness. Who knew it would be so hard? Is it silly that I even got (privately, at home) mad because two of the people with newbies used names that we wanted for our future brood? I'm sure all of this is turning me into the strangest person!

inamaymaybewrong I'm really sorry to hear about your losses and hope you get your referral soon...

Wishing everyone else good luck with the clomid!

Congratulations Sheddie!

I guess I will give the clomid another few months or so... Although I shave just booked an initial consultation for IUI. At the London Bridge clinic on Monday...

Can I jump in? Got nearly 4 year old just completed first cycle ivf. In 2ww.. Going slowly mad. Five days post transfer & two neg tests down. Almost 39 with all sorts issues. Took me 3 years to get dd. Bit over living in limbo just want to know one way or another whether I will have another child. If it's no I can move on sort out my static career, buy a house etc etc. If it's a yes well.. Awesome. Masses of luck to everyone!

Any symptoms yet Expat? Must be excruciating!

I had an interesting visit to the Fertility Clinic today... Consultant wants to do another follicle count and AMH (which they did today) and then investigate possible tube issues. I had been told my earlier c section should not cause me any fertility issues, but this doctor said because id had such a prolonged section, with subsequent blood loss and infection, there may well be some problems. But if my follicle count is poor (it was four years ago!) she is keen to crack on with the most likely way for me to get pg - IVF!

Didn't think I'd find myself in this infertility merry go round, but hoping we will get our DC2 at the end of it all...

Good luck to you all x

how is everyone doing? good luck overseasexpat, keeping my fingers crossed for you. really understand what you mean about being in limbo, i feel like i just want to know either way now, i'm sick of the uncertainty and things being on hold. i just wish i could see ahead into the fture and know how it will turn out (not much to ask, then!)

pipandposey your consultant sounds really good, hope you're feeling ok about everything you found out.

sheddie hope your scan went well last week and you're feeling alright.

drgoldierocks, totally understand what you mean about it turning you into a strange person - i really feel like that at the moment. i find myself looking at parents with two children two years apart all the time and thinking how easy it is for so many people.

i'm still waiting for my first cycle to come after the miscarriage so i can start taking clomid again, it's been 28 days so hopefully it will come soon. feeling a bit down today so maybe that means it's on its way... it will be three years of trying for us in August, trying not to think about it, analysing dates is never good.

Hi MumtoSammy - thanks yeah I really liked this consultant, so feel confident pressing ahead with her, if need be. Sorry to hear about your mc - hope your cycle comes back soon is you can get back on it. Take time to grieve a little bit too though!

Any news from anyone else? X

how is everyone? I'm dtarting my Clomid tonight. fingers crossed.

Hi mumtosammy. Wishing you loads of luck this cycle. Are you feeling ok about it? I know you said you were feeling down the other day. I'm sure it can work for you again.

I've got another scan this week to check whether the area of bleeding has gone away. I haven't had any more spotting, so hoping it has.

Hope everyone else is ok.

thanks sheddie, hope your scan goes well, i'm sure it will all be fine. good news that you've had no more problems in the meantime.
i'm feeling a bit better to be back on the clomid and having a go. i just feel like i have no clue what will happen next...

Hello ladies.

mummy to Sammy looks like we are cycle buddies again - I started my 4th round two days ago. I've my private HSG xray next Tuesday so really hoping this month is a positive one!

Be thinking of you too! ????????

How's everyone else doing?