Fertile women in their 40s makes me mad!!

[esther39]

Hello. I'm 39 and have been trying to conceive for 2 years now with no success. About 6 months ago i was told i am perimenopausal as i had a high FSH of 20.5. I also have lots of menopausal symptoms too.
I am lucky enough to have 4 lovely, healthy children, (with a previous partner). My husband is 27 and has no children and we would have loved one together. He's a great stepdad to my 4, it's so devastating.
I can't even have IVF treatment as my FSH is too high and on an ultrasound scan i had only 1 follicle and was told my ovaries are quite small, suggesting menopause.
I know this sounds bad, but i get so upset and angry when i see these older pregnant women, late 30s, early 40s. It seems to be getting more common to have a baby later in life. I feel like a freak as i can't get pregnant. Every time i go on Facebook there is another woman i know, around my age announcing her pregnancy, or just had a baby. How in the hell are they doing it!
Of course, it may have not been easy for all of them, some may have had treatment to get there. But i can't even have treatment, nothing can be done to help me, it's over.
I hate these bloody older pregnant women!
Sorry for the rant, but please tell me i am not the only one that feels this way.

lauren how you getting on? Are you on another thread so we can leave the op alone? Still got fx for you, hope your dads well.

Thinking of you Lauren

Thanks both! Yes on the donor conception thread in infertility, think its 'all things donor conception' will update on there, no news yet though

This original post has made me sad. I'm 42 and expecting my first baby, yes I am lucky to be still fertile at my age and conceive naturally, however is has not been an easy ride with 5 recurrent miscarriages and over 7 years to get to where I am today. I have never begrudged others getting pregnant even though it made me sad to think about my situation where I thought I would never be able to have a child, but I have been happy for others. I think to say that fertile women in their 40s make you mad when you don't know how difficult it has been for some of the those women to keep onto a pregnancy is sad. You have four lovely children, what is old give to be able to have a large family. Alas I know this baby, will more than likely be my only child, and I am grateful to be able to have one.

So sorry to hear what you have been through, I'm 7 years into ttc and I count myself lucky I haven't had the heartbreak some of you ladies have with the losses, I know how much a failed ivf cycle is heartbreaking so I couldn't imagine the pain from your losses

Congrats on your success!

Mummytobe....

Congratulations....wonderful news

Only1scoop and Lauren83 thank you.

I really do wish everyone ttc the best of luck. Xxxx

Congratulations! That's lovely.
Think the OP is being rather selfish as she has a large family already. She's being very mean-spirited and it's actually very hurtful the things she says in her post.
Good luck Lauren xx

Horrible woman, now i think about it. Very immature also, at 39 she really should grow up.

Feel awful to admit it but I agree.

Long gone again under another one of many names. Hope you are getting some help Op.

She certainly sounds as if she needs some serious phycological help. Her thoughts and feelings are not normal or rational. I actually pity her poor children and husband.

Thanks perkin

Still hanging in there on the 2week wait with my lonely embie....

Hope everyone else is ok

Just an update... I tested today and it was a BFN

Back to the drawing board....

7 years TTC
1 failed own egg
1 cancelled own egg
1 failed donor egg

I'm going to try to see my surgeon to have a 3rd op and a 'clear out' as my wombs really stuck down on one side, and I'm going to get saving for a year and try some immunes test too

Esther I hope you are doing ok too

Lauren I have been following you for a while, and I'm so sorry about your result. Is it possible u tested too early? If not, I really hope u can find the strength to regroup and have another go. You will get what u want in the end, and When you do you will be a much better mother than a lot of people due to whet u have been through. X

Ps I too think original poster is actually erilou. Story is too similar. I also have similar feelings When many people have no children- to have 4 would be a miracle to be grateful for! X

lauren I'm so so sorry. I was so hoping you'd get a different result. Why is it so much harder for some, it's all so bloody unfair. We're all here when you need to talk.

Lauren am so so sorry so bloody unfair....

Thanks all so much, the kindest of strangers helps more than you realise in times like this, I will test again in a couple of days as I know you do hear of these late BFPs but I used a mega sensitive test, I knew it was doomed with the dud donor, I'm so grateful to her though I really am

I think the plan is see my GP tomorrow try get referred back to my surgeon I'm knackered inside and need a clear out (stage 4 endo)

Its scary as I guess the realisation it actually might never happen is real x

Just thought is share my story - i started ttc when I was 24. Nothing happened, loads of tests, 4 cycles of IUI - nothing, not even an explanation.

Had IVF attempt abandoned when I was 30. I was in such a mess and about to give up, had a try at ICSI when I was 32 - sort of last chance saloon. It worked!! I had my DS who's now 10.

I wanted another baby but I just couldn't face anymore treatment. So we decided to give up and settle for one. Then when he was 1 I got pregnant naturally with twins. Sadly I miscarried but I just couldn't believe I had got pregnant after everything. 12 months later I got pregnant again but miscarried again. I had toughened up mentally by this stage. Three months later, I got pregnant again - this time I was blessed with my dd. I was 37 when she was born.

People often remark how lucky I am with my perfect family - yes i am very very lucky. But there was a huge price, it wasn't easy or straightforward. I've spent most of my adult life trying to get pregnant, being pregnant or miscarrying. Things often aren't as they seem.

Good luck to everyone ttc - I thought my turn would never come, but it did :) x

I also think that counselling would help you. You have four children! Some people are not able to have any! I don't think it is fair to be angry with other women - everyone reaches an age in time where they can no longer have children. Whilst we will all get there at different times, we have to accept that we can't go on having children for ever.