"Drink binge mother left children "

[VengefulSinner]

Story from BBC news site tonight.

I just do not understand people like this

The poor children, left alone while she gets off her face on drink and drugs.

I hope she loses the kids for good.

"But it's not 'disgusting'"

It is. She left her children alone for 24 hrs. 4 children under 5. Disgusting behaviour.

I feel no sympathy for her, sorry. If you drink to excesses and chose to take drugs - then you chose that lifestyle generally, and she alone was responsible for her actions that night.

24 years old is old enough to be responsible and know right from wrong. She is not a child in any way shpae or form. For goodness sake, her own 4 year old shows more responsibility!

Some mentions no support. There is no indication that she had no support. Infact the article says her stepfather came to the house at 10am the next day and found the children, and it is grandparents now caring for the children. This, to me, indicates that she did infact have some support from family at least.

And we can't blame the fathers from the article alone. We don't know if they are on the scene, if they see the childrem if they know of the children, if they support the children, etc.

What we do know is that she was incredible stupid that day and endangered her very small children's lives.

I am afraid I'm feeling pretty judgy atm. Can't help it. Not judgy about her having children so young. I heard of/met very young mums who did the very best they could for their children and put their kids first. And bloody good on them because it can't be easy.
But the fact is when you have kids you have a responsibility to take care of them. If you don't want to don't have kids. And fair enough people slip up. But she has FOUR children.
It really got to me about the poor boys being soaked in urine/sick and the poor 4 year old trying to get milk powder for her brother.

ahundredtimes - she left her 3 month old baby for 24 hours without knowing he would be fed. That isn't just a fuck up and that isn't something that most people have considered doing! good for you for feeling for her but I'm sorry my compassion is going on the kids here and of course a snaction in law is required. This is an ok way to parent. This is not an ok thing to do - that's what the sentence says.

I would like to see her punished for what she did to her children 100.

If you saw her beating her children with a big stick in the supermarket would you like to see her punished or not?

It was cruelty.

I don't get why everyone is taking a pop at the fathers.

My son's father is involved in his care, but only on a Sunday and occasionally during in the week with a phone-call. It has been like this since ds was 11mths.

If I had done what she did on a Friday night for instance, no one would have discovered until he arrived on a Sunday morning.

An absent parent is just that - absent for a majority of the time.

SHE is the mother, and she was the care-giver and it was her responsibility to ensure those 4 little mites were safe. And she didn't.

No it's not disgusting! I think everyone is so keen to heap revulsion and moral outrage on her because if there is one thing that people can't sanction it's a 'bad mother'. Why can't we seek to understand that rather be repelled by it?

Shouting 'disgusting' does nothing to help that. It merely enforces the idea that it's a social outrage, something on the margins of experience, something to be shamed, something which provokes disgust in 'proper thinking' women.

I can't join in this chorus. I don't know whether it's because I'm a bleeding liberal or whether it's because blame and disgust rarely strike me as useful responses.

This is NOT an ok way to parent that should be

She has to be punished. Otherwise the courts are basically saying it's okay to do what she did. And it really isn't. I hope this gives her the wake up call she so obviously needs. But what she did was appalling.

What would you call it then ahundredtimes?? Hunkydory?
Please enlighten us.

"something to be shamed"

Well, IMO, leaving your four very young babies alone and uncared for for24 hours, whilst you go out drinking and taking drugs IS something to be shamed. It is hardly something to be proud about is it?

She did a disgraceful thing. There is no excuse.

This has nothing whatsoever to do with her being their mother. It has to do with her being the person responsible for the children when she chose to leave them at home alone. I would argue she has got off lightly precisely because she is their mother and if she was a babysitter or similar would have faced considerably harsher punishment.

she was in sole charge (presumably)

no matter how feckless the fathers are, they cannot be blamed for this particular incident

the blame is her own

There's always an excuse - or if not an excuse, there's a reason. Isn't there?

I think it's silly tbh to suggest that I think it's an acceptable thing to do. Of course it isn't, everyone knows that. And it's a bit silly to think anyone who is asking for a more subtle response to this situation has sanctioned it.

Surely everyone knows it's not okay. Except her. She thought it was okay. Why is that? Because she's evil? No, almost certainly not.

ahundredtimes - are you for real?Three month old babyLeft alone without food or cuddlesFor 24 hours as far as his mum knew. Rescued after 12 hours - so probably only 9 hours crying and crying for the food he needed.3 other children listening to it and aloneA four year old child so desperate to help her brother crying and hanging out of the window looking for someone to help them.And you don't think we should consider that to be 'something on the margins of experience' etc.?

This isn't misogyny - a father in sole charge of these kids would be just as hard to believe and as impossible to condone.

This goes beyond whatever you would term 'bad' parenting. This is cruelty and it's criminal and frankly i'm rather concerned that you can't see that.

"It merely enforces the idea that it's a social outrage, something on the margins of experience, something to be shamed, something which provokes disgust in 'proper thinking' women."

Good.

"I don't know whether it's because I'm a bleeding liberal or whether it's because blame and disgust rarely strike me as useful responses"

Maybe your just deluded?

"And we can't blame the fathers from the article alone. We don't know if they are on the scene, if they see the childrem if they know of the children, if they support the children, etc."

Well, yes, I think we can blame the fathers to some extent. We can assume the fathers were derelict in their responsibilities to their children if they weren't on the scene and keeping up with their children's lives and aware of the way their children's mother was conducting her social life. Fathers are parents too.

If they were content to leave their children in the care of an alcoholic junkie, they should be taken to task for their very poor judgement, laziness and neglect of their children's welfare. If they didn't know their children were living in such bad conditions (agree this probably wasn't the first time she did this), then why were they allowed to be so uninvolved? They should have been aware, and they should have stepped in once they were aware. (Assuming they are not violent or a danger to the children in any other way)

Where do you see a delusion? Is it because I don't agree with you?

I don't think it was okay. Of course it was cruel. Of course it was massively fucked up and irresponsible.

But why when faced with this do you all reach so easily and quickly for shouts of 'disgusting'. It's such an easy response - revile her, shame her, want to see her PUNISHED, push her away.

I just think that's wrong, and actually in the end, massively unhelpful. Bring her in. Take a look. Try and work it out.

Being their mother/carer was her job and she royally cocked it up. People are quick to blame those who fail at their jobs and consequently harm others ie social workers/doctors etc I don't see that this is much different to that. I really dont think that this is some misogynistic mother bashing (of which there is alot in the tabloid press) but is actually a genuinely shocking case.

Also it baffles me when people who are clearly unable/unwilling to look after small children either financially, practically or emotionally often have so many. Contraception is readily available in this country so why on earth did this woman, and the mother of that poor kidnapped girl, end up with such huge families?

there is not enough blame in society, IMO

this woman needs to be blamed for what she did, why should we try to understand cruelty and neglect for her own thrills ?

it is disgusting, fucking disgusting

these people don't see any wrong in what they do, ffs what are we coming to ?

i kind of agree with 100 but also think that the sentence was probably right. Maybe her kids miss her dearly - mayeb there is some plan to make her have a limited degree of contact with them, who knows.

It takes two (at a time) to have children irresponsibly.

God AF, and I think there's way too much blame.

Blaming people - so easily! so freely! with such self-righteousness! - is just a way for enforcing ways of being which are considered appropriate. I get that. It works. But when someone does something wildly inappropriate - like this - blame is a blunt instrument.

So what if anyone is being judgey - judge away! There is too little judgement going on especially in relation to children. I can be a really big bleeding heart liberal when I want to be but have zero sympathy with this woman. Who cares wtf her 'problems' are - her behaviour was horrific.

If we don't blame ahundredtimes - what do we do? pat her on the hand and think ah she needs help?

Sorry doesn't wash. Most people would die for their kids - she clearly doesn't give a toss. Yes she is disgusting.

AHT- She needs to be punished. If she's not, then people with no sense of responsibilty will see no wrong in what she did, and it will become acceptable for children to be left alone whilst parents go out and get off their heads.

What she has done cannot be justified. She may need help, but first and formost she needs to be punished.

Social workers, doctors, anyone in-directly involved in the neglet of a child are punished. What she did was a direct act of cruelty.