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"Drink binge mother left children "

208 replies

VengefulSinner · 16/11/2009 18:11

Story from BBC news site tonight.

I just do not understand people like this

The poor children, left alone while she gets off her face on drink and drugs.

I hope she loses the kids for good.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 16/11/2009 19:12

lacking self esteem ??

oh please

how does a lack of self-esteem transform into going out on the lash for 24 hours leaving 4 pre-school kids, including a 3 month old baby on their own ?

Disenchanted3 · 16/11/2009 19:12

LADY I'm 25 with 3 kids and I would NEVER EVER leave my kids to pop to the shop.

That woman is dispicable.

The article and thought of those babies alone crying for someone to come to them made me cry!

MalibooStacey · 16/11/2009 19:13

It is a punishment - I think you are confusing a conditional discharge with a suspended sentence.
A suspended sentence means that ONE breach of whatever conditions are on it and shes goin daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarn , no touching go, no presnetence reports nuffink - some go into court htinking its just a hearring and next thing they know they are in the van,,,
Bear in mind court reporting is generally inaccurate you dont know what conditions are attached to the susp sentence. it is supended for two years too.

AnyFucker · 16/11/2009 19:15

in my eyes a suspended sentence means she just needs to behave for a couple of years

bingo...got away with it...

spicemonster · 16/11/2009 19:16

I feel sorry for her. But I feel more sorry for the children.

And I hate to make an incredibly obvious point but if her parents are deemed capable of caring for the children, why the fuck didn't she ask them to babysit if she wanted to go out?

4 kids by 3 different dads at the age of 22. Not ideal is it? She sounds chaotic. And you can bet your arse that this isn't the first time she's left her kids, just the first time she's got so fucking trashed she forgot to go home at all.

Scorps · 16/11/2009 19:17

I think age is almost irrelevant. I'm 24 and due dc4 in 5 weeks and would never, ever leave them. Ever.

Breaks my heart reading about that 4 year old.

Disenchanted3 · 16/11/2009 19:18

My MIL had 4 kids by 20 and did a fantastic job,

she held down 3 jobs at once, she completed High School, college and got a teaching degree whilst raising them.

Its nothing to do with age, shes just a horrid mother.

KiwiKat · 16/11/2009 19:18

I hope her chidren get the help THEY desperately need. Am too furious to type a comment on her behaviour, and the phrase 'bring back hanging' invariably invites flaming, so suffice to say I'm running the gamut here,

Northernlurker · 16/11/2009 19:19

I'm pretty keen on my status as fluffy bleeding heart liberal but even so I'm quite comfortable saying this was shocking behaviour. Remember - this is not that she couldn't cope and ran away not intending to return - whilst concerning and terrible that would at least convey that she was not acting in a rational manner. This is a person who whilst in sole charge of her children put herself in a position where going out and leaving them seemed ok, left them for 24 hours socialising in public company and then returned home.

Whilst it is interesting to wonder what part the children's fathers played in supporting her it isn't actually relevant to the issue here - any father - casual or devoted would feel pretty safe in assuming that a mother would not leave her young family for 24 hours!

Scorps · 16/11/2009 19:22

One of the Dads found the dc at 10am didn't he? so they were left alone for 12 hours (overnight). Thank god he did.

StealthPolarBear · 16/11/2009 19:23

The bit about the baby being hysterical and covered in sick and the milk powder has made me cry
SGB assuming the story with the fathers is relationship breakdown followed by lack of contact on their part then that's despicable, but it doesn't change the fact that whatever the rights and wrongs were, the children were in her sole care when this happened.

StealthPolarBear · 16/11/2009 19:24

scorps, think it was her step dad

AnyFucker · 16/11/2009 19:25

I don't give a fuck about the fathers although I suspect they are as feckless as she is

although who is to know they don't take part in their upbringing??

she obviously just fucked off to the pub and left the kids with no thought to their welfare, the dads may not even have known what she was doing

it wouldn't have been the 1st time either, just this time she got caught

Scorps · 16/11/2009 19:25

I thought it was her SD too, then it said somethings about the one year old boy being his son Confused

Anyway, just thankful someone went there, a whole 24 hrs + doesn't bare thinking of.

MIFLAW · 16/11/2009 19:27

I'm a recovering drunk.

My child and partner have never seen me drunk or consuming alcohol of any kind. They are both the most important things in my life.

But I wouldn't put this sort of thing past myself if I drank again. Scary but true. On the other hand, I think I am a very good parent without a drink in me.

That's why, although I agree that this woman's behaviour has been disgraceful, I don't think it is very profitable, least of all to the children, to berate her and leave it at that. With help, both she and the children might, just might, have the chance of a normal, loving realtioship from which all will benefit.

Without it, the kids may well be standing round a hole in black clothes before next Xmas.

ChickandDuck · 16/11/2009 19:28

Absolutley disgusting, hopefully she will forever feel shame and disgust at herself, but I fear she probably won't fully understand what she did, nor see complete wrong in it, else it would never have happened. I hope those poor poor children stay as far away from her as possible.

(One other point, the judge making a comparison to Home Alon )

ChickandDuck · 16/11/2009 19:30

*Alone

MalibooStacey · 16/11/2009 19:30

its just simple - there are bad people in the world.
shocking but true. Being a mum does not make people nice.

ahundredtimes · 16/11/2009 19:35

Oh god, how can you not feel for her? She totally fucked up - she drank, took coke, decided to go to a party, and went. She wanted out for the night, she took the out, was a really bad and wrong decision.

But it's not 'disgusting', it's a mess.

mathanxiety · 16/11/2009 19:36

Well, she left the children alone and there could have been a disaster. She is very lucky no-one died. And the children are lucky her stepdad called around. I hope she will get help with her addiction problems.

I noticed the fathers of the children weren't anywhere around for those 24 hours either. Not excusing her behaviour and feel she obviously should not have done what she did, but how about charging the fathers with neglect too? Are they not parents? Do they have responsibilities towards their children? Maybe the judge took this into account.

bibbitybobbityhat · 16/11/2009 19:37

Am not shocked re. bad people. We all know it happens. But v. shocked at sentence. People go to prison for having children who play truant from school fgs. Am not suggesting for one second that prison is going to be a good thing for this belter, but where is the punishment for the neglect and cruelty?

Northernlurker · 16/11/2009 19:38

Miflaw - all the best with your continuing recovery.
Of course these kids are the best hope this woman has but we can't expect the kids to be sacrificed to that. Although they were found after 12 hours she didn't ccome home for 24. What the 4 year old must have felt - and critically for me - will remember thinking - well you just CANNOT put that child in a position of such vulnerability again.

MalibooStacey · 16/11/2009 19:40

she has a curfew for eight weeks as a start off... 2 years of the threat of 20 weeks in prison.
i presume they had a presentence report that looked into it in detail , its REALLY almot impossible to sentence without being there or reading the opinions of the peopel who talked to her.
depends on her level of remorse, guilty plea etc

i am not excusing it at ALL, just trying to understand her and the sentencing decision

spicemonster · 16/11/2009 19:44

Oh come on! The world is full of feckless dads who fuck off without so much as a by your leave. And yes, I'd have some sympathy if she'd been left holding the baby once. But 3 times? No. At some point you have to start taking some responsibility.

ahundredtimes · 16/11/2009 19:44

I think the punishment might be not having your children live with you, the public shame and humiliation? I don't know.

I really feel for her. God, aren't most people one step away from doing this with four children of that age?? Really? The majority don't do it, even if they think about it. What makes the difference - lack of intelligence, substance abuse, shaky understanding of responsibility, lack of good sense, being a fuck up?

I don't understand why we punish this kind of mess actually. I don't see what punishment does to help, or how it can possibly make her a more responsible, mature parent.
I don't even understand why everyone is so keen to see her punished.