"on mumsnet this week" in the Mail. Is this a new thing

[jujumaman]

Came across this this morning when I should have been working

Is this a new weekly rip-off by the Mail? Or has it been going on for months and I'm behind the times as usual

I'm not quite as virulently anti the Mail as mnetters, find it silly rather than the end of civilisation as we know it. But still ...

she wouldn't goblin, not from a closed board.

I bet MNHQ are counting the posts down to 1000 and hoping no-one carries it on. But I expect it will be continued because we really haven't had any satisfactory answers yet have we?

Who should I rely on then?

Maqninly housebound, cannot work, family not interested

ds1 thumops any kids we have in the house so friendships last 5 minutes

easy to criticise from the other side no doubt

(housebound as n limited by boys btw, not me)

Hey, quick question since i'm sure somebody must know...if someone in RL knows your nickname on MN is it possible to request certain posts and/or threads you started to be deleted, without de-registering?

It would depend on your reason, basically it is a lot of work for HQ and they don't like to as it causes other problems.

However, yes it can be done - in theory.

peachy;

it's not healthy for anyone to invest too much time and energy on the internet, i'm very sorry you have little RL support, but posting on here is not private, and should not be used as therapy......too much time spent online can have a detrimental effect on some people..imo

(daftpunk here)

Philby, the point of the sn board is that you can ask people questions and give answers in relative anonymity. Things you might not want people in RL to know about your children, but that you are worried or desperate about and want some ideas or support on.
That's why the sn board is opt-in, and there was a strong argument for keeping it that way. So you don't get well-meaning nt's blundering in and offering inappropriate suggestions. And you don't have to explain over and over again why and how and what. Like someone said, we need to know each other's backstories in order to support effectively.
I'm new to mumsnet, so I don't have the same sense of bewilderment and unhappiness. So now. I'll just pop in for the entertainment value and the giggles. Not support.

Godzilla, that's the million dollar question. You can ask, but it won't neccesarily be done. I bet we'd all like our posts and threads deleted as things stand now. I know I would.

I agree Philby - it's an internet forum open to the world, it's not real life. But I can understand how people get reliant on it, especially people who are isolated for whatever reason.

Do you know, it makes me a bit sad to think of all the thousands of people tapping away at their keyboards when in a healthier society we'd be out actually talking to people. That's not a comment on anyone, I'm doing some tapping here myself, but an observation on our quite messed up society.

That's what i thought. The reason is that a relative of mine knows who i am and there are posts on here i regret making, because while i was serious at the time they aren't things i would like broadcast around my family!

I don't understand why this article might be ok anyway, it's 'this week in mumsnet' in the DM. Could they do the same with MSE or GF or the BBC? If they did people would and will automatically assume that MN at the very least have something to do with it, which apparently at the moment they don't.

Posters who are saying the writer is great wonderful etc, wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone, well she already has, by not even bothering to make sure she has the details right, getting the OP wrong is a big mistake.

I think some of this has been said before, but i'm sticking my two pence in anyway.

Not loads of posts btw

It's not therapy DP, it's research and information. Targeted, specific answers from people with experience in that particular area or issue.
Rather than 'Here's a leaflet'

love the name change philby!

it's not always just a case of people being a bit feeble and relying on the net too much - with special needs often the information just isn't out there from professionals (they tend IME to be very ropy indeed about advice on support groups/benefits/educational rights)- and sometimes local support groups relevant to a child's issues either don't exist or aren't accesible. To get the advice I need, bulletin boards such as MN are invaluable.

Well, you might get crushed in the rush, Godzilla.

I think some posters are being a bit insensitive by saying "well you should be getting RL support" - even if you have supportive family and friends, they can't necessarily support you through things they have no experience of.

When I split up from my partner with a very young DC I found huge comfort both from (limited) posting on MN and reading others' stories.

I wasn't even in a particularly bad way, but nobody in my immediate circle has any experience of this sort of thing, and I needed to hear from those who'd been there.

I don't know where else I could have turned to to find out about the reality of being a single parent, what other people did about access etc..

Also, there are loads of examples on here of people, particularly those in abusive relationships, who feel they can't ask for help in RL. Many eventually do - but after talking things over here.

Oh as it is DP I feel happy to say fuck off then

If the prospect of a weekly 'what's on MN feature' in the Daily Mail makes so many posters feel vulnerable (especially those with such sensitive matters to post about, as with the SN topics, and several other areas), then MNHQ ought to use its draconian stated copyright claims to put a stop to it.

It is inevitable that a high-profile site like MN will be quoted in the press, and inevitable that the business imperative for maximising site traffic will mean that MNHQ will seek such coverage.

But there is a need to balance community needs with business needs and if MNHQ doesn't step in in this particular case then I wouldn't feel that they had got the balance right. A weekly column is different from an occasional pagefiller or a one-off response to a very hot MN topic.

MNHQ said at least a year ago that the very large claims made in their copyright statement were kind of unintentional the result of lifting a copyright statement from another site and they said they were going to revise the statement. Has this not yet been done? If it hasn't, then I can't imagine that the retention of such maximal copyright claims a year later is accidental.

I know that MN is a business and that although MNHQ try to operate ethically they can only do so within the parameters that their commercial imperatives set down. I know that this means that the site will continue to evolve and lose much of what remains of its original character -- especially if the DM coverage changes the demographics of the userbase. So I know that sooner or later I will leave the site and hope that I can continue certain friendships without it.

If MNHQ is happy to retain draconian ownership claims over our posts and yet unwilling to police the use of these posts, I imagine I would say 'That's all folks!' and leave sooner rather than later.

crosspost goblin, completely agree!

kingrolo;

exactly....how did people manage before the internet..?

some people have become far too reliant on random strangers and on their internet "life"..hence the reaction by some people on this thread.

lol peachy...a fuck off before 11.00 am

What goblinchild said

if you can't access support for SN (often because you miss some basic tickbox) then MN as a support system is a far better gamble than going it alone, both for the sake of your own MH and your children. I strongly suspect that advice I received on here is rpeventing my ds4 heading down the ASD route- that is worth any measure of risk in all truth.

The feeling in the SN dept is incredibly different to how it is here. I ahve amde real (as in RL) friends and learned very much. my reality is how it is- there are no options at this very moement (woprking on that) but you need info in order to actually create choices for yourself.AS isn't coverd by our services here so this really si the only chances of that.

I am mega pissed off not by the ever present risk but the MN approved increased risk

I'm with Peachy all the way.

I too post mainly in SN. I have "only" been here a few years (maybe 4? [shock ] really?!) but you do build up relationships there.

There is no point saying name change regularly - most posters on SN need advice on quite delicate subject matters at times. We have had a few weirdos wanting to know salacious details (globetrotter, anyone?) and so are rightly wary of anyone popping up wanting to know intimate details without a posting history.

I have no RL support. I have no family nearby, (thankfully inthe case of PIL - waves in case they have stumbled over here from the DM )

I have namechanged to post about othe ramtters, occasionally. BUt SN is the one place where to do so would remove any shred of support going.

And as Goblinchild points out, SN (and in particualr autism) makes very interesting subject matter - wasn't it the DM who ran the "I hate my life with my autistic child" article not so long ago? Marvellous.

A short hop, imo, to using SN posts to highlight whatever hate-rant they want to run next.

Perhaps MNHQ could put on their homepage, or whatever it is called, a notice pointing out that anything one posts could well end up in the Daily Mail. Then at least people are forewarned.