Re this recent child abuse case, can we have just *ONE* thread for competitive sadding please?

[solidgoldbrass]

Yes it's awful
Etc.
But we don't need a McCann-esque thread frenzy all saying the same thing.

Yes please.

And ditto for Christmas stockings.

Not that I am in any way suggesting they are the same in the scale of things.

Competitive sadding? Oh give it a rest. Things happen in the world - people here will talk about them. Tomorrow they will be talking about something else no doubt. If you don't like it then go frolic somewhere else tonight.

I get what you're saying. And it's true that there are probably things like this happening all over the place that don't get noticed. And that there is a horrible war in DR Congo. And so on.

But the details of this case are so haunting: it's hard to keep one's feelings of sadness and horror inside. And so many people on this site have children close in age to this child. I suspect that's why so many threads are popping up.

agreenorthernlurker

just started another one solidgoldbrass

Picture of the bloodstained T-shirt on the BBC website is just awful. I don't think we need that.

I agree, I can't hide them fast enough.

It is tragic, but I am sorry to say that I cannot read the details of the case, it upsets me too much. And some of the times the thread titles are very graphic and upsetting.

can we have a rule then, that there is to be no repetition of any previous thread?

Before posting a new thread, all Mumsnetters should do a search of their intended topic of discussion and see how many times it has been discussed in the past.

If there is more than say 2 previous discussions, do we really need a 3rd ,4th, 5th..........on the same topic???

Obviously it is a difficult one, as the same topics come up time and time again. But in the case of an upsetting news story, would it take too much effort to have a quick look?

Competitive sadding - brilliant term.

Thread titles don't need to be so tabloid imo. I can't hide them fast enough either MmeL and I'm thinking about ditching the news topics from active convos tbh. It's not that I object to anyone discussing the story in question, but having shock horror graphic thread titles is unnecessary.

Maybe we should have more than one Mumsnet then?

One where people can post what they like without fear of upsetting/boring/annoying other people and one where everything is lovely and nothing bad ever happens.

I think it's pretty odd to start a thread about another thread about something you claim to not want to discuss, to be honest.

People are deeply shocked by this. It's not 'competitive sadding' to feel deeply disturbed by such a hideous (and widely reported) new story and to want to discuss it the appropriate section of an internet forum.

In addition, I live on the borders of the borough of Haringey and feel sick to my stomach at the failure of my local social services team to protect a vulnerable child (yet another one).

This is also nothing like the Maddie McCann case and it's in utter poor taste to suggest so.

excuse typos

But it is okay to have pointless threads like this is it?

I can't hide them quickly enough tbh but that is because I really just can't bear to think about it as the whole case makes me feel very sad and extremely angry. If I were to post that on a thread would that make me competitive in my sadness?

Some people need to discuss something that shocks them greatly - I think the term "competitive saddening" is pretty condescending and dismissive. As is your use of "Yes, its awful. Etc".

And agree that this is a pretty pointless thread which you know will rile people and create one great big row.

Is "News" the most appropriate topic for this thread do you think?

There could be a special section for these threads. "Tragic Lives" or something. Like they have in the bookshop. Then we could just ignore them...

I have to agree tbh.

Its one thing to have a debate on the failures of SS, the ways it can be improved in future, and generally the issues the tragedy raises.

But do we need lots of threads full of sad faces and RIPs and gruesome details? Who will it help? I do find it quite distasteful and unnecessary.

I think people should be able to start threads if they like. It is deeply upsetting and people need to express it. And work through the horror of it.

Is it a big issue, as long as the threads' titles make it clear what they're about? Then you can decide whether or not to open them.

I think (having posted on another section about this) that when something as horrific as this effects you, you need to see responses and 'share' your discust to know that most people are not like this. It leaves you feeling as if the world has gone mad, then when you flip thru the posts and responses you realise that all feel as deeply horrified and shocked as you do, so it is not an everyday occurance, that the vast majority of us are normal loving parents. That this type of thing is outstandingly horrific and we are all badly disturbed by it.
I, for one, felt overcome by it and didn't have anyone to talk about it with but felt some kind of reassurance that most felt as mortified as I did. It helped me, but then perhaps I am more needy than others, being alone and not distracted by a household full of people to discuss it with. Isn't thjat what these site are for as well as everything else?

Agree strongly with Kally and supersillyus, am saddened by the phrase 'competitive sadding'. People just want an outlet for their sadness. They're not pretending to be sad or claiming to be better people, they're just sad. Feel a bit sick that people are being seen as selfish and self-aggrandising for wanting to talk.

Don't be spoilsports. Competitive sadding is a vital source of MN entertainment

There could be a special section for these threads. "Tragic Lives" or something. Like they have in the bookshop. Then we could just ignore them..."

Some people have made the very reasonable point that gross and very detailed thread titles are putting them off their cornflakes and are really unecessary.
I find that competitive sadding (for the pinching of which excellent term I salute the departed fishwoman) is actually quite a toxic trend. People whine and posture and do lunatic things like 'light a candle on a website' and think that this is some kind of substitute for actually helping friends and neighbours or indeed sticking 50p in a NSPCC collecting tin.