I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

But to be fair, nobody asked you to share difficult stories about being raped - if it helps you, fine, but it's not really fair to pretend that anyone demanded you did, or needed to hear about it. I don't mean to be dismissive of your experiences, but please don't feel that anyone here needed you to explain or detail anything that is painful or traumatic.

When a celebrity talks publicly about big issues like this, it's not reasonable to think that the audience is just going to want to hear all about them and their personal life, rather than discussing the issues that have been raised more broadly. If you do just want to talk about you, there are other fora for that.

Oh that is jus ridiculous. Cake and eating it spring to mind!

..., because on the one hand you're saying you're not able or willing to talk about anything but you, and on the other that you should be able to do just that!

Hello. Im not very well versed in the gender discussions and to be honest a lot of it confuses me. But what you said your dad said when you came out to him (sorry can't remember the exact terms, the one where you could fuck off if you were a tory ), I just wanted to ask are you happy? Because isn't that what we all want for our children? To be happy, loved and feel comfortable in their own skin?

ArcheryAnnie

Don't you see the inconsistency between defining one set of people by their genitals despite how they identify, and defining another by their identification despite their genitals?

What about me poses a danger in a womens space? I am not violent. I have never attacked a woman. I am respectful. I am polite. I am not pervy. I do not make unwanted sexual advances. I am not domineering. I am a small, generally quiet, jolly reasonable person with a vagina. Who benefits from turfing me out into the dark for the crime of accepting that I am not entirely female?

I just wanted to ask are you happy?

Happier than I had been for a long time.

Fair play to you for coming on here and answering questions, Jack - not that you should have to justify yourself, and in a way it's sad that you felt you had to, but then again there's no controlling the media and how they choose to distort what you've said/done.

At least everything you've said here is in your own words, unabridged - editing is rarely there to make you look good, after all, and if you've given an interview that's 90% about your cooking and 10% about the trans debate, they'll inevitably focus on that 10%.

I'm sorry you've been through such a tough time in the past

The people we don't seem to hear from (or maybe I am not looking hard enough online) are people who transgendered years ago.

It would be interesting to hear from, or to question, someone who has actually lived through it long term, I am thinking someone who changed sex (as it was then called) perhaps 40 years ago.

seek this is kind of tedious. I don't just talk about myself, but I cannot comment on issues that I'm not sure on. You may as well be asking me about quantum physics, or missions to Mars. Nobody has all of the answers. Some of the questions here are debated day in day out by academics who specialise in gender theory. I'm a 28 year old single parent with 4 1/2 GCSEs. I know my limitations and where to draw the lines. Sorry that you see that as a cop-out, but I don't. Pressuring someone to do something they don't want to do is not cool.

What do you think the answer is to the sex-segregation issue? Do you think female spaces should be opened up to anyone who identifies as a woman? (So potentially anyone who feels like coming into the ladies that day.)

Gosh thanks for answering! Feeling a bit starstruck now
Glad you are.

Do you have a good 'hide the veggies' meal idea for a veggie refusing child with a nose like a bloodhound? He's SN so they have to be REALLY hidden!

Today 11:23 WilLiAmHerschel What do you think the answer is to the sex-segregation issue? Do you think female spaces should be opened up to anyone who identifies as a woman?

I think this is sodding complicated and there is no easy answer, and it's not my place to make the rules.

Dont want to be too personal sorry (feel free to ignore). Im guessing that you have a lot of medical history, do you worry that how you feel could be the result of hormone imbalances, could it be that you have just not had the right endocrinologist etc? (don't wish that to be offensive, if that is how it comes across).

Not as long-term as 40 years ago but I've just seen this on Reddit np.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/4umjog/transition_in_hindsight_about_5_years_later/

So many comments telling them that what they feel is wrong. I know a FTM who regrets it and it's incredibly difficult for them to talk about it as 'no, you don't, nobody regrets it, it must be something else' is the standard reply from others in the community.

Jack it didn't occur to me for a second that you personally would be a threat, but that's only one of the issues, here. Women's spaces are for women. That means women in body and mind. If I am in a woman's space it's really important to me that I can assume all the other people there, however they present, are women. If I find out one of them has a penis and male socialisation, then it's no longer a woman's space. If I find out another does not identify as a woman, and objects to being perceived as a woman, and objects (for example) to woman-centred language (eg "pregnant women" rather than "pregnant people") then it's no longer a woman's space.

But the person with a penis and male socialisation still needs services and facilities, as does the person who does not identify as a woman. All trans and nonbinary people still need changing rooms, support groups, and so on. The current default is that women's spaces and women's facilities are "expanded" to fit in everyone who does not strictly fit the definition of a man - so nonbinary people, transwomen, genderfluid people - and that means that these spaces and facilities are no longer accessible to women who want and/or need women-only space. I have also seen credible reports (from trans-friendly sources) that many/most trans men continue to use women's loos when in public, as it's safer than using men's loos.

With this in mind, and to ensure that there is safe space for everyone, why not create a third space? That way everyone has facilities that serve them, and nobody is pushed out (as women are starting to be now).

Do you have a good 'hide the veggies' meal idea for a veggie refusing child with a nose like a bloodhound? He's SN so they have to be REALLY hidden!

I roast them to sweeten and then blitz them and reduce to a thick concentrated puree that can be used as a pasta sauce base, lasagne, bolognese. Tomatoes, red/yellow/orange peppers, yellow courgette, carrot and onion.

Jack I didn't expect you to have all the answers or to make the rules, I was after your opinion that's all.

Fine. If the finer points and the massive implications of what you're saying are not something you're willing to engage with, it would be helpful to make that explicit, and don't tell people who do know what they're talking about - the academics you mention for example - that they're 'bang out of order' and then slag them off on Twitter, when you've just said you don't understand the debate!

Jack do you think trans and non-binary identities can be respected, while still recognising that male and female bodies are different and that male and female people are treated differently in society?

I think this is possible, but the trans rights movement is not willing to engage with feminists on how to balance the two. I think it is misogyny that means it is easier and more popular to ignore/slander women and women's concerns, than look at making third or fourth spaces in our society. Or even doing the unspeakable and addressing male violence and entitlement.

do you worry that how you feel could be the result of hormone imbalances, could it be that you have just not had the right endocrinologist etc?

There is anecdotal incidence of FtM trans people that I personally know and PCOS, but I haven't looked into it in any great detail yet. I am not suggesting there is a definite link!

I have another question, can you recommend any good cooking pans? Long lasting ones.

Seek I thought Julia was bang out of order for labelling every transwoman as a rapist in disguise on national television.

I do understand the fucking debate. I understand that my own feelings on it are complex. I understand that this thread is being watched by national news journalists (3 missed calls this morning, all ignored) who are WAITING for me to say something either way that can be grossly misrepresented and spun into either 'MEN SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SHOW DICKS TO LITTLE GIRLS' or 'TRANS WOMEN ARENT WOMEN'. Because in the media there is no middle ground. The middle ground doesn't generate headlines. The middle ground doesn't spark the fury required for the clickbait. So while I do hold some reasonable views on the questions asked, I am not about to set myself up for a monstering from all sides. Please bloody respect that. I have answered some difficult questions. I have lost an entire work day to trying to engage with people over an issue that is volatile and sensitive. I cannot condense the 'changing rooms debate' into a Mumsnet post without running it through so many people to check over first that it defeats the reason why I came here to talk openly. It's sticky. And I cannot throw myself to the lions for it. Not today.

If you don't want to do it then don't. Why act as though starting this thread is doing us a favour?