I'm Jack Monroe. Ask me anything.

[MxJackMonroe]

Hi Mumsnet.

It seems every time I am in the news, a MN thread about all things transgender crops up. I didn't see the last one (yesterday?) as I don't come on here very often these days - people who eavesdrop etc etc. I was cooking in a tent in a muddy field all day, having a ball, not googling myself on the internet!

The thread was deleted - which was nothing to do with me, nor my lawyer. The day I call him about a MN thread is the day I pack everything in for good. So far only the Mail and Hopkins have had legal action taken against them, and both for quite serious statements. I'm not rich enough nor quite bothered enough to call him every time someone says mean words on the internets.

ANYWAY. Threads about me tend to get deleted. So here's a new one. Because there are clearly some questions that keep coming up, criticisms that I could answer, speculation I could clarify and untruths that could do with correction.

So I'm taking questions. I'm an adult and I take an awful lot of criticism and unkindness online, on the chin. I am pretty mentally stable right now, and feel this could be a constructive discussion.

In order to stop this descending into pandemonium, using general 'chair' rules, to start with I'll take one question from each user - if it's quiet and everything gets answered, feel free to add follow up questions.

It doesn't have to be about boobs, dresses, hormones. Literally ask me anything.

MN - please don't delete this thread. I think people have valid things to say and I'm here with my big girl/boy pants on to hear them.

Over to you.

Yes Robins, I guess. But I suppose for me - although we have learnt that the personal is political, sometimes I feel the need to allow the personal not to be political too, out of politeness or something. One of the things that makes a lot of people most happy is having a romantic / sexual partner who is good for them, or a series of romantic / sexual encounters that are positive, and I feel like no matter what form these take I don't want to get all snippy and picky about that because even though I, for instance, kind of roll my eyes at certain kinds of giggly "revelling in wifeliness" that a certain kind of conversative Just Married woman engages in, basically I just think, good for you, long may your happiness last.

Maybe, on a societal level, her giggling that her big manly husband treads dirt all through the house and doesn't see it, doesn't help any of us, but I kind of feel like it would be churlish to get hung up on it.

On the other hand - as I have whinged about earlier with my body issues - I feel like we live in a society that is actively toxic and anti-female in ways that are manifested in gender roles becoming increasingly rigid and I feel like even to exist and be able to stand it as an individual is getting harder and harder. And I think that certain kinds of activity around gender play very much into that, and then it becomes self-fulfilling, as the unhappiness and discomfort that young people have with their bodies causes them to search for ways to express the discomfort and find solutions, and it's all really, really tough

Sorry that isn't very clear. I guess I feel more threatened by people saying "I am not a woman any more because I'm a bit butch" than by people saying "I'm a wife, and I look up to my husband" but maybe I'm not right to feel that way

I saw you on Newsnight or similar a few months ago, trying to shut down a gender critical feminist (Julia something? Sorry I can't remember) for saying that someone was a woman, you said she was bang out of order and asked her who was she to say who was a woman etc.

So I'm not convinced you're seeking privacy and only wanting to talk about cookery. As a feminist I think your movement is extremely scary with potentially lethal consequences for women but it's like another language or something. Young people are winning this one and older people like me are left wondering when the world went mad.

I dunno, I hope it's worth it.

Just want to say how much I agree with robins post up there ^

Good question, faire, and I wish I had a better answer.

A lot of it seems to be about lack of control. jack mentions how, now, kissing is something entirely controlled - it's entirely chosen and wanted. That's something many young women I teach, don't experience. They are pressured into performing femininity (lots of 'eugh, you're a lezzer, kiss her to prove it!' or 'eugh, if you're not a lezzer, kiss me to prove it'). They get to feel that sexuality is something they have to demonstrate.

Opting out of the whole thing must feel very tempting.

There is also pressure on young lesbians to identify as trans or genderqueer, because it reinstates the binary neatly. It is not so very different from old fashioned assumption that, in a gay couple, you must have one who is 'the woman' and one who is 'the man'. Plus there's a depressing assumption that butch lesbians have no history or culture of their own, but must be trying to be men.

Morris, NAYoungerPeopleALT

Yes I get what you mean Robin. It's like there are all these boxes to choose from and you have to pick one. From a very young age too. People should just be allowed to morph and evolve more fluidly instead of having to definine themselves by someone else's parameters.

That why we all just really want Jack to answer the one question: 'What is a woman?' and then just let us all get on with 'being'.

jack thanks for coming on, very brave
Do you think gender is something all people experience or something only trans people experience? Personally I have no sense of gender separate to my biology, yet I like a lot of masculine things and have often been told I have a man's brain.
Just wondering if you'd come across non-trans people who had a strong gender identity and if so how did they describe that?

Can i just say that you have opened with "Im Jack Monroe". There are a few of us who have no idea who Jack Monroe is? (Can I just add that I am MyMurphy!). So do you class yourself as a celeb? Because you have opened the thread with the suggestion that everybody should know who you are? I can't believe that anybody is really bothered about you labelling yourself?

Morris I was invited onto Newsnight and don't think I tried to shut Julia Long down. I did get upset that she derailed the debate to her own agenda, and that I had been mis-sold it by Newsnight who said it was about non binary inclusion in Maria Millers proposals, and I wasn't exactly at my best under attack on national television when I had prepared for an entirely different conversation. The footage is on YouTube.

Sorry, for the state of the writiand I I haven't fully explained my thoughts. But I"m being nagged by ds to move on so we can find more pokemom

I've just bought some Florentines in Bruge after I posted.

Spooky.

faire jack isn't the Oracle and while she can tell us what she thinks a woman is I can see many of us believing "woman=adult human female" might not fully understand or agree with her explanation!
Good luck answering Jack

The whole trans discussion on MN is getting tiresome. Same old, same old.

Celebrity Jack can't do right for doing wrong.
They've achieved so much in their campaigning work and it seems unfair to focus on their gender above all else.

Good on you for starting this thread.

MyMurphy: Can i just say that you have opened with "Im Jack Monroe". There are a few of us who have no idea who Jack Monroe is? (Can I just add that I am MyMurphy!). So do you class yourself as a celeb? Because you have opened the thread with the suggestion that everybody should know who you are? I can't believe that anybody is really bothered about you labelling yourself?

But people are bothered enough to start a thread that allegedly got so personal about me it was deleted, and then another thread pontificating on the deletion of the first thread. So as I said in my OP, I figured some people may have some questions and I am offering to answer them. I thought starting by introducing myself was the right thing to do, and including it in the title of the thread would attract the people who did know and/or were part of those discussions. I have no agenda here other than to have an open, decent conversation and to try to answer some questions without a newspaper putting their own spin on it. MN as interviewer, basically. I did a webchat on here a year or so ago, I've basically just re-initiated my own. It seems to be going well, but I have an awful lot of questions to answer still!

ExitPursuedByABear: I've just bought some Florentines in Bruge after I posted. Spooky.

Ah the old 48 hour rule. Surprisingly fast turnaround in your case. I may have to make some later. Or buy some because you know what, I'm a lazy ass sometimes.

Hi Jack, very brave of you to start this thread. I've no questions just wanted to say I've tried some of your recipes and they are great. My daughters favourite is the one where you just chuck a tin of mandarins all over chicken and shove in the oven. She calls it "juicy chicken!"

I don't think anyone on here has mentioned 'being in the wrong body' - so far it's been all about gender.

Do you think your 'trans' issues are different to those 'trans' people who don't care about gender / how they act but whose body feels wrong? The ones who are desperate to change their body using HRT and surgery? There are trans people who reject the idea of gender but who want their body to conform to what their 'consciousness' is telling them it should be.

I think it seems that people at the moment are being told that if you like / behave in a way associated with male / femaleness, then you are trans (if you are a female / male). You don't need medical intervention if you are like that. But if your body does not match up to how you 'feel' it should be (the wrong body idea) then that is an issue that needs medical intervention.

Too many children and adults are being told that because they behave in a certain way, they are trans.

Actually MxJack, this one is going a lot better than most of the "official" ones as you do seem to be making an effort to answer the questions, which is more than many guests bother with.

MyMurphy - if you missed the thread that was deleted then I can see it might seem a bit random (I did, I saw it just before it went poof and never got a chance to read any of it) for a person to come on here and go "I'm x!" but if you did see the thread, it is clearly a response to that.

Jack I don't see any indication that you have actually engaged with any of the points people have made on here about using non-binary as a label for personality and the harm it causes to women by saying you are not a woman because you like boy things. When you post things like the New Scientist piece which basically says the opposite to the concept of being non-binary, it makes me wonder if you have thought about this critically or whether you are mainly influenced by the trend to uncritically embrace trans notions because you see yourself as progressive, kind and inclusive.

I know Jack isn't the Oracle but their view on this would be interesting imo.

Because some women are now being told that they should refer to themselves as cis women, some women are being told that they must accept a person with a penis in a female only environment, some women are scared of calling themselves lesbian women and as the identity of 'woman' is getting more and more eroded it would be interesting to know exactly what a woman is these days

Especially as those woman are being told by others who do not necessarily identify as a woman themselves!

I started the first thread, based on what was printed online and in the press yesterday. I was NEVER nasty about Jack as an individual - I barely know who Jack is apart from the frugal cooking person. Don't follow on Twitter, read books, Facebook friends etc.

My general point was: why does anyone think anyone else would be interested in how an individual sees themselves? If it's really not a big deal (and I personally think you can define yourself as you wish, dress as you wish and sleep with who you wish) then why the need to tell everyone about it? It's really not that interesting..... But apparently saying so is "transphobic".

Oh and the next time someone tells you that transwomen are as violent as men, ask them about the single survey which they always quote. It has been constantly misused by certain people who are determined to misrepresent trans people.

If you know any statisticians, ask them to look at the paper and critique it. Then the next time you are on TV, you can see the looks in their face when they are pulled up on it.

Yeah I kind of agree. Just feeling a bit protective of jack as she's put herself out there, probably because I got ripped a new one for having an unpopular POV at the weekend and it was upsetting.
Whatever she says is just one persons perspective and likely to be different to mine (and I assume yours) purely by dint if describing herself as non-binary

Re reducing people to their biology: which is more restrictive, to say that women are adult biological females who have vaginas and an infinite range of appearances, personalities, tastes, skills etc, or to say that women are people who act / look / think a certain way, regardless of their bodies?

What do you think of terfs?

Do you like their bangs?