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Original poster

Chrissie Hynde said that victims of assault have to take responsibility

274 replies

Gymbunny1204 · 30/08/2015 11:53

She's been interviewed by the Sunday Times.

Wearing short skirt, high heels, drunk - implies your fault if raped. Dressed like that you need to be able to run. She says.

She was assaulted at age 21. Says her fault she went with the men.

I hate her for making me think for a split second it was my fault I was abused as a child for running to the loo in just a top which did cover my bottom, I had no pants on. In front of the abuser.

Piece in the daily mail about her interview.

I suspect she has a record to promote.

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 30/08/2015 13:22

Incredibly insensitive of her. What the hell was she thinking??

Yep, she's gone right down in my estimation too now.

80schild · 30/08/2015 13:28

It is clear she has a lot of guilt associated with her rape - what she went through sounds horrendous. People who get good support will realise that being raped is not their fault (eventually)

I agree she shouldn't be giving her views on the subject but it doesn't take away what caused her to form those views.

Original poster
Gymbunny1204 · 30/08/2015 13:32

Shegland, apologies if you thought I was criticising you. I was upset with Whirlpool's comment as it was irrelevant that she didn't know who Christie Hynde was. On a thread of this nature little digs aren't welcome. I accept I'm being too sensitive and I apologise for my tantrum but I felt it was a cheap shot.

about to go to court, it's all too much at times

OP posts:
Shetland · 30/08/2015 15:05

Oops sorry - assuming you meant me. Apologies Flowers

And she's wrong - the only person to blame in a rape is the rapist. I know many victims have feelings of guilt but they are misplaced, and to project that onto other victims is cruel.

Wishing you strength in your up coming case.

MrsToddsShortcut · 30/08/2015 15:48

Of course she is wrong and a part of me is furious with her. I was raped when I was 11 and I'm pretty certain I was neither drunk, wearing a short dress or heels. However, despite that, it took me 16 years to even talk about it and probably a good 30 years to accept that it wasn't somehow my fault.

That said, it is for exactly those reasons that, despite my anger, I feel compassion for her. She is quite clearly nowhere near coming to terms with what happened to her and has internalised it and focused it on herself. Very easy to do. And who knows what messages she was given by those around her? (big assumption there, I know).

I suspect that at some point in years to come she may well look back with huge regret at the damage she has caused with her remarks.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 30/08/2015 17:15

I do wonder what happened post her assault as I doubt it was her rapists who instilled that view. I suspect, sadly it may have been people she spoke to after the event. But that does not make her passing that view on to other people ok.

She's wrong. Just wrong.

cdtaylornats · 30/08/2015 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NadiaWadia · 30/08/2015 17:29

Agree, what a bloody stupid thing to say, although you feel sorry for her as obviously she has not dealt properly with what happened to her. Still hugely irresponsible of her to put those views out there, though, as other victims may read them. Not to mention potential abusers/attacks.

A real shame, she seems such a strong woman and a fantastic singer/songwriter of course. I saw her play live back in the 80s and I have recently been rediscovering music by the Pretenders. I had her autobiography on my wishlist, but I'm not sure about getting it now.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 30/08/2015 17:38

I see it as a bit like walking into Celtic Park wearing a Rangers strip.

Bollocks.

PlaysWellWithOthers · 30/08/2015 17:59

I see it as a bit like walking into Celtic Park wearing a Rangers strip.

Then you're wrong.

It's magical thinking. The only way to never be raped is to never spend any time with men. And no, before you do the "Oh! Lookie! She hates all the men!!!!" bullshit, that's bollocks too. In the UK, only men can rape, therefore staying well away from the only kind of human who is capable of committing the crime is the only way for it never to happen.

that doesn't mean I can't think the woman involved was stupid to place herself in a situation where it happened.

No one can tell you what to think. However, that sentence makes me think that you're a fucking idiot who shouldn't be allowed to speak to women. Isn't being allowed to think and say what we like fabulous?

To suggest that dressing modestly and behaving modestly stops rape means that those people believe that women who, for example, wear the burka, are never ever raped. Which is utter bollocks.

Gymbunny Nothing you did made anyone abuse or rape you. The person who did that to you was a violent criminal. Violent criminals are violent criminals because they choose to be so. Not because someone decided to run to the loo in a tee shirt.

You could wear short skirts, go to bad places, drink like a fish a million times, it doesn't make the one time some criminal decides to use that as an excuse to rape you reasonable.

Anonynonny · 30/08/2015 18:10

I've reported your post for rape myths, cdtaylornats. You may want to look at this article which explains why you might want to re-think your views of women as being responsible for men raping them.

BertPuttocks · 30/08/2015 18:11

We live in a society where women are judged when they don't dress up. Being seen outside without a full face of make-up and a skirt or dress is worthy of a place in the 'Sidebar of Shame'.

We live in a society where shoe shops are full of high-heeled shoes and have only the tiniest selection (if any at all) of nice flat shoes.

Yet when women go out there and dress in the way they are expected to, it is used as a stick to beat them with. 'What did she expect, wearing those shoes?' etc

Shame on Chrissie Hynde.

Yourethe1formefatty · 30/08/2015 18:11

"You could wear short skirts, go to bad places, drink like a fish a million times, it doesn't make the one time some criminal decides to use that as an excuse to rape you reasonable."

Yep. In my youth I did all of those things many, many, many times. I have never been sexually assaulted - should I be sitting here now thinking that I really did deserve to be raped for those things?

Anonynonny · 30/08/2015 18:13

Also I'm slightly confused about what you see as wearing a Celtic strip walking into a Rangers pub, cdtaylornats.

Do you mean that any woman who ever talks to a man, is friends with a man, marries a man, works with a man or has any acquaintance at all with a man, is behaving recklessly?

That makes you sound like a terrible man-hater. Why do you think all men are rapists?

YeOldeTrout · 30/08/2015 18:23

I made the same points as cdtaylor so I would like my post deleted as well (will report it myself). Also don't see the value in censoring what you guys disagree with, but get on with it, hey ho.

PlaysWellWithOthers · 30/08/2015 18:29

No, you didn't trout. You said that you would feel similarly to CH, cdtaylor said that women should expect to be raped. It's very different in onus to my mind.

FWIW, I don't think cdtaylor's post should be deleted either, it simply proves that there are still people about who see women as responsible for the actions of criminals... it's simplistic misogyny to suggest that men are driven so mad by a drunk woman/woman in 'provocative' clothing that they rape them, despite being lovely law abiding citizens.... it's bullshit.

YonicScrewdriver · 30/08/2015 18:32

Yy plays

Wishful80smontage · 30/08/2015 18:34

cd fuck off with your ridiculous comment.
The only person responsible for sexual abuse/rape is the attacker end of.

goldglittershitter · 30/08/2015 18:34

Biscuit for Chrissie. Shocking comments from one who should know better.

SilverNightFairy · 30/08/2015 18:41

So sad and fucking disgusted we still live in a world that places blame on the victim of rape. The only god damn person responsible for rape is the rapist.

Original poster
Gymbunny1204 · 30/08/2015 18:44

Thank you playsWell I appreciate your kindness. I know it wasn't my fault but I blame myself for not fighting back especially when it was more than once.

OP posts:
SilverNightFairy · 30/08/2015 18:47

Gymbunny, ((hugs)) sending you healing thoughts.

AnyFucker · 30/08/2015 18:51

Chrissie if you are reading, I am sorry you were attacked

But you can fuck right off with your victim blaming shit

Wishful80smontage · 30/08/2015 18:59

Tweets picking up pace now so chrissy should get the msg soon enough- so dangerous comments like hers wish people with such influence would really consider the shit that comes out if their mouths

Doublebubblebubble · 30/08/2015 18:59

CD wow just wow!!!! Seriously hope you're never ever are assaulted (the statistic is 1-3 now isn't it??) there are no excuses! I'm seriously hoping that youre troling

I see it as a bit like walking into Celtic Park wearing a Rangers strip

Wtaf - even if you walked up to a person and said "rape me" that doesn't give them the excuse to rape you - a rapist\or abuser has to make a very conscious decision to act on their urges, nothing anyone does beforehand can be used to lay blame with.

And as I said in my previous post - anyone can be raped, anyone! Before i was born my mother lived in Stockwell (you know where the Stockwell strangler used to rape and kill pensioners) and I remember her telling me about this, it has stuck with me forever. You can not just as you assume it is exclusively pretty young things who should've known better that get raped. Utterly utterly disgusting views!