Sorry, but my children bore me to death!

[MrsBigD]

Not meaning to start a major debate here (that already seems to be happening on the articles own board), just thought it was quite well written and touching on one of the things 'us bad mums' don't dare bring up... imho she's a bit extreme in her attitude but simultaneously have to admit that I have had some of the thoughts myself at times

here is the article

For me it's the fact that her children are 10 and 12 and she still can't find anything even vaguely interesting in them. I can absolutely understand feeling bored by babies and toddlers, I found a lot of the time that I was bored when mine were little, and there were times when I was so glad that it was Sunday night. But to say that in over ten years she hadn't managed to find anything she enjoyed doing with them is seriously grim. Also it's not just that she doesn't like being with them, it's also that she appears not to care about them at all. The nanny article really backs this up, as she talks about nannies as basically being money grabbing manipulators. Now I didn't want to be at home with my children when they were small, but I made absolutely sure that they spent their time with someone I knew was 100% motivated by a desire to spend time with children, and that I trusted and respected for that. But then she is talking about a completely alien world to me. My mother was brought up a little like that, with a nanny and "visits" to her mother daily, followed by boarding school, and I really think it destroyed her relationship with her mother, and in addition seriously compromised her own ability to mother (although she tried very hard, and is now a great grandmother). Maybe she is just writing to shock, but I don't think she is doing anyone any favours. I just hope that the nannies that she did employ showed some interest in the children. The worst thing about the nanny article for me was "clever" Madonna with her great idea of changing nannies every six months - the poor children, what sort of continuity did they have, that's just appalling.

She took the child on TV

Threebob falls over and has to be given oxygen.

There was no mention of her husband in this article or more importantly what he thought of her attitude towards their children.

I really feel for those children - with a toxic mother like that they are going to end up being emotionally stunted manchilds.

Where did this attitude come from, I think she has many issues.

I read here that she was on Richard & Judy - did they give her a hard time?. What did the child pysch say about her behaviours?.

Nooka,

Read your comment below with great interest as my cousin was raised on similar lines:-
"My mother was brought up a little like that, with a nanny and "visits" to her mother daily, followed by boarding school, and I really think it destroyed her relationship with her mother, and in addition seriously compromised her own ability to mother (although she tried very hard, and is now a great grandmother)".

It certainly did not do his relationship with his parents any great favours. He hardly saw them as he was growing up and was raised by nannies and boarding school. He went abroad to teach English to students as part of a gap year and ended up getting one of the students pregnant. He now has a seven year old whom he hardly sees; his own parents financially support the child and mother and a trust fund for the child was set up. This all happened in a country where unmarried mothers are frowned upon.

I only found out about this child's existance when she was two.

There are many ways of abusing children, her's is one of them

God I've just read it and what an insufferable middle-class twat she is.

FFS I never knew that when you went into labour, a fucking 4x4 was delivered along with the baby. I'm off to write a letter of complaint to the hospitals who did my caesareans, because I never got the fucking 4x4, I've been short-changed.

Daily Mail twaddle.

It's just another silly journalist doing a one-size-fits-all story that is Designed to Shock.
Yawn.....

Even sillier was Annabel Heseltine t'other day justifying driving a 4WD.

So....spending time with her children is so boring. But when it comes to chat shows she finds one of them interesting enough to use as a prop. Surely the nanny could have looked after him - somehow I don't inmagine she ever allows a childcare crisis to occur.

It does sound like the sort of childhood that my mother had when she went to stay with her grandparents. Children kept upstairs in their own quarters with a whole set of servants to look after them....their own maids, nurse-maids and nannies. Brought downstairs to see granny once a day and on their very best behaviour. But at least they had plenty of people to care for them and nanny tended to stay for good. And it wasn't abnormal amongst that class and time. It is unusual now.

I really hope that somewhere down the line her poor bloody kids up and leave her just when she starts to need them. Perhaps they could employ a nanny for her

The song by Harry Chapin: /link{http://www.lyricsdepot.com/harry-chapin/cats-in-the-cradle.html\Lyrics}

Or this: lyrics

I find changing nappies & making up bottles tedious. Reading the gruffalo 10 times a day is boring. Many of the day to day tasks of parenting are mind numbing. However they all get done with a smile because there is nothing better than the smiles, giggles, hugs and kisses from my little ones.

The constant repetition of mum, mum, mum I need/want/give me drives me insane but is made bearable by mummy I love you this much (as dd stands there stretching her arms out as far as they will go).

The holidays terrify me as I find it difficult to balance the housework and doing fun stuff 24/7. I miss dd when she is at school though as she makes me laugh. I am looking forward to having ds at home for an extra year than I had dd before school.

I can understand having 1 child then finding it all too much but to then go and have a second and write such appaling rubbish about them let alone going on Richard and Judy.

Laughing at "twatty names" too, Poisson...
I`m 32 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and I while I can imagine its boring sometimes to have put your career on hold, I think its also true that if a person is bored all the time, generally speaking, that person is boring.
How can taking walks in the park/wood on a beautiful day be boring, with or without children? Take them to the beach, swimming, camping anything that you enjoy doing yourself-- if window shopping at Harvey Nichols is more interesting for you, then you really are a boring person!!

It was V annoying when she said the other mums would be going on about teachers at school, and
she says " At this point in the conversation, my mind drifts to thoughts of my own lunch and which shoes I plan to wear with what skirt." As if that is more interesting!
I totally agree with her that we shouldnt squash our personalities and identities for our children (Ive seen women who do this, and they are also not happy), but in general I think if she is being sincere in this article, her kids are really nothing more than accessories.

She could have just written it for something to write, though, and to get a reaction (quite a boring thing to do...)

I am bored to screaming pitch by a lot of the things I do with DS, but because I love him I do them because I know it makes him happy. When DS is happy, I'm happy. Real love for anyone - kids, partners or friends - means sometimes doing things you'd rather not do, doesn't it?

She is soooo gonna regret writing that article when her two are teens.

My 19 year old said recently 'you were the perfect mum when i was little, you did it so naturally'.

That made up for all the 100s of readings of Green Eggs and Ham I had to do, nappies I changed, toddler groups I attended, kids parties i endured etc.

Agree with Angeliz, What is the point of having kids, she is just SELFISH, DISGRACEFUL CREATURE, not mother. Probably she gave them birth but she didnt give them LOVE. Very sad, and also how annoying that "university educated people". Im "educated" but that surely doesnt make me bored of my children.
Hope reads all this.

Discussion on this subject on radio 2 now with Jeremy Vine

Totally agree Shelia...reading Angelina bloody Ballerina bores me to tears..how many flippin plies and pirouettes can one small rude arse mouse do?? but then I see my Daughters faces light up and I think what the heck!! they love this,I love them... oohh to be satisfied by a mouse in a tutu those were the days lol.

She will regret this and her parenting...I pity her.

ha Sakura, you will remember that post when you are reading Thomas the chuffin Tank engine for the billionth time...but you are right in what you say, of course

Promised myself yesterday that I would leave this subject alone, but it really worries me to see another woman called a bitch, narcisstic, barely human, disgraceful, insufferable, toxic, emotionally shut down & cold to list but a few, because her child rearing practises are different to the preferred methods of most posters here.
I don't think her article is well written & was clearly designed to be very provocative. I'm just amazed that MNers are so ready to pronounce her all of the above & a bad mother who shouldn't have had children.
What, in that case makes a good mother or even parent for that matter?

I wouldnt say she was any of those, I just think why bother going to the press with that. I hate ironing - I think I'll call the Daily Mail.
Personally I cant understand anyone being bored with their own flesh and blood but each to their own.

bugsy, she may be a loving caring parent, but she is being judged by what she is saying and doing in public.
People do judge you by your actions, its natural.

The majority view is that its bad (not just different) parenting to say and do what she is doing.

I was a bit taken aback at the ferocity of some of the posts on here. I suspect if the woman in question read them it would re-inforce her views rather than challenge them.

Of course we make judgements & I'm all for discussion about her views. Just not quite sure why the attacks have to be so personal.
She is a woman who has chosen to bring up her children differently to a great many people, not a paedophile.
I wonder if she had written a similar article about how tedious & difficult it was to care for her elderly parents & how she thought they were better off in a home the reaction would have been as strong.

Better hope she is not as litigous as "she who cannot be mentioned" too!!!

"I wonder if she had written a similar article about how tedious & difficult it was to care for her elderly parents & how she thought they were better off in a home the reaction would have been as strong."

But you don't choose to have your parents.

Well I read most of it, I agree with 'some' of what she says but I honestly think she is selfish - plus I can't quite work out why on earth she had one child let alone two!

I found the hwole baby part very boring, but I enjoy my little boy now he is a toddler (15months). There are still things that I cringe and think "oh god not again" but as he develops there are more and more fun things to do.

I actually feel sorry for her because she now has a life sentance (18+ yrs) to be spent with two people who bore her to death!