Sorry, but my children bore me to death!

[MrsBigD]

Not meaning to start a major debate here (that already seems to be happening on the articles own board), just thought it was quite well written and touching on one of the things 'us bad mums' don't dare bring up... imho she's a bit extreme in her attitude but simultaneously have to admit that I have had some of the thoughts myself at times

here is the article

Have just read the second half - felt I ought to force myself, having commented.

She's still an insufferable narcissistic bitch.

And she's a fucking lousy writer too. My 3yo has more wit and originality than she does.

Maybe boring people get boring children?

Am I fascinated by my children's every utterance? Of course not. Often I just tune out and make the odd murmuring assent while thinking of something else. And I while away some time on MN while absent-mindedly drinking pretend cups of tea alongside dd's dolls. But there are times when being with my children is an absolute joy. Quite frankly anyone who finds no interest at all in the development of her children's characters and intellects must be pretty dull herself.

so every single mother either falls into the category of finding their children thoroughly fascinating and enjoyable at all times, or finding them (and motehrhood) thoroughly boring? I had no idea it was like that. best make my mind up quick which category I'm in. as for 30 hours a week in a 4-wheel drive I had no idea that was a necessary component of being a good mum. best get that range-rover brochure out and find the kids a school further way. And neither did I realise that the boredom I have felt on the occassions that I;ve been decieved into thinking a coffee with a bunch of people I have nothing in common with apart from having kids atthe same school would be a Good Thing is actually my children's fault.

think her husband might be the bloke who was in the city pages - he has quit his job as chairman of Uk broking of a major bank and set up his own hedge fund so I doubt she has to write to fund her lifestyle

What I can't help thinking when I read these articles, is what do you say to your kids when they get older and look on the internet/archives for articles their mum has written? Think I'd be a bit mortified to realise my mum thought I was so boring she didn't want to spend any time with me!

Yep she's a bit of a twunt.

also I don;t care what she says - children do care if you don;t take an interest in them. even if they've given up asking you to come to cricket it doesn;'t mean they've given up caring. It probably means they're storing up deep-seated hurt which will blurt itself out when they're having some crisis in their teens or twenties. and it will be too late to do anything about it.

Yes. There's a difference between saying 'NO I WILL NOT READ A MISTERMAN STORY BECAUSE IT BORES ME TO DEATH - find Winnie the Witch pronto' and 'No, reading anything to you bores me to death'.

Although she's makes a couple of valid points which are lost in her extreme position...

I do agree that there is a danger in making your children "your profession" and being too child centric. This is something I have been inclined to do (everything revolving around the children and their needs); making too many sacrifices (my interests and aspirations get marginalised completely....also dh gets sidelined)- this then makes me angry and resentful

I think there may well be a new category of abuse we need to worry about:

Media Abuse!

I worry about the children seen on lots of reality tv progs - particularly 'Honey we're killing the kids'. They send the children out of the roomm so that the awful truth about thier health and shortened lives, and images of them looking deathly can be shown...only to be watched later on video - and seen by all the kids' friends.

Earning money from writing horrible things about your children in the Daily Mail? Morally repellent!

OK I can't be bothered all the time, I'll be honest but I take dd to various activities because the she loves them, her little face lights up and that makes me happy too. That's why I do sit down on her bed and read her a bedtime story and cuddle for half an hour before leaving her to sleep. I don't always feel like it but I do it to give her some happiness - and she gives me so much more back.

Being a mother is also about giving - like in all relationships - and life is not just about being bored or not bored, is it?

I have a lovely friend I've known for many years. She has 2 boys (8 and 12) and she's a bit like this.

She has her own company and plays tennis every evening after work so little time for the kids. Her dh makes the meals and neither of them take the boys to any activities or accompany them to school, or seem to make any special effort to spend time with them.

I never know what to say when she tells me this kind of thing because she's a funny, sweet person and I'm sure she loves her kids but the approach is so alien to me. She never did homework with them or read them stories or sat down and played with them and usually leaves them in someone else's hands. Yet when I've been there, I got the impression the kids get on great with her and are nicely behaved. Seems to work out ok.

Wel I have to say that having a small toddler makes me feel a lot like this. HOWEVER I know that I enjoy the company of my nieces and nephews and did so from the age of about 3 onwards so am assuming this will happen with ds. I am not a baby person but even I get pleasure out of ds sometimes and it gets more all the time. To be completely bored by your children all the time does seem a bit extreme.

I sympathise with some of what she says - toddler parties are a nightmare.

I find it hard to believe she is a writer. The writing is pants.

I can relate to some of her points. I never enjoyed mother and toddler groups, coffee mornings, or gym/swim class either. I did feel really bored. I don't agree that everyone gets bored of those sorts of things, some people seem to really live for them and relish talking about potties/teething. That made me feel a bit inadequate initially so I get what she is saying about all of that.

But to not enjoy ANY part of your child's life seems bizarre and I'm not sure I believe her. How could you not like reading to your child, or playing a board game for goodness sake. I do think our lives have become a little child obsessed and some women do behave intolerably smugly and are very harsh on people who choose to work for a living but this woman seems to take no enjoyment from her children's existence at all. They seem rather like accessories.

Yeah accessories that don't match anything in her wardrobe!

I do wonder whether her children will find her exceedingly boring when she gets old and doddery, stick her in a home and then never visit her - there would be a certain poetic justice in that.

Of course not everyone finds life with small children endlessly fascinating. But to dread spending any time with them seems extremely odd, and rather sad.

So, why did she become a mom then?

she a nob end
whyd id she haev them
twatty names too

pmsl at "twatty names"

has anyone notified social services?
Or are they not too concerned if you are quite posh?

LOL cod

I think she rather ruins her 'university educated' standpoint by wittering on about shopping, hairdressing, shoes and lunch.'Getting a First at college was an accomplishment'. Whoop de fecking doo. of course everyone who does enjoy spending lots of time with their kids must be a uneducated moron.

look at ehr cute littel boys haveign their photo taken for their mum to slag them all off