Sorry it has taken me so long, however you all seem to be doing the right thing, Give yourselves a 'pat on the back' as I think you are all wonderful.
The solicitor said that I must 'raise awareness', not only of my case but for ALL mothers in this situation, and cheesball's, but we are not allowed to do it ourselves, due to the court order that was made back during the civil proceedings that released my children for adoption. Otherwise I guess that there would be hundreds of people chained to the railings outside the Royal Courts of Justice.
He said that Patricia Hodge was contacting every social service department in the country and that they are going to be asked to identify and hand over details of all cases that have involved evidence from Professor Sir Roy Meadows. Both he and I doubt very much if the social services will be forthcoming with the information. You see they had this wonderful 'cover all' clause, Munchausens-Syndrome-by Proxy. It meant that what ever you did/do as a mother it was a symptom, you showed you cared, and you were over protective or just doing it for show. In short you could never win. Now the social services has been asked to come clean. Will they?
The first priority I think personally is not for women like me, and I say this because there are women (he said 254 - can that really be right?) in prison and 15 awaiting judgment. Obviously the priority must be to undo these terrible wrongs and reunite the families.
For women like me he said their are approximately 5000! I am still in disbelief. He said he was not certain how many of them had been found innocent in a criminal case and still had their children removed in a civil case but 5000 is a lot, and if I want justice now I must 'keep the candle burning' but be very careful not to do anything that could identify me, or especially my children.
- I have a right to contact my M.P. about this and Margaret Hodge. Giving them precise details. I have contacted my M.P. but not Mrs Hodge yet.
- I should 'mobilize my army' By this he meant that anyone who took any part in the civil proceedings in my case can write to their M.P. and Mrs Hodge giving their opinion, (however they are bound by the same order as me and can not go to the press or talk to anyone else, but and M.P. has something called 'privilidge'. It seems that some cases will be reviewed but unless I particularly put forward my case then I have no garantee that it will be one of them.
- As this 'thread' gives no details that could identify me or my children and the responses to my story are positive,(in my opinion wonderful). Sugest that anyone who feels strongly enough about this to e-mail or write to their own M.P. and Mrs Hodge and attach this 'thread'. I am not certain How Mrs Hodge will take some of the comments though!!
As I now understand it, the government is waiting for the oucome of the G.M.C. inquirey, which will not open until the autumn. That is a long way off and some children could be seperated from their parents forever by then.
It also appears that there are TWO main problems with Prof. Meadows evidence. Firstly his views on Cot death that have been extensively publicised, but secondly his 'creation' of Munshausens-Syndrome-By-Proxy. The jury are still out on that one apparently as to if it really does exist.
In a nutshell what I am asking you to do is contact your M.P. (and Margaret Hodge)with your views, so that this can not be burried or forgotten when the initial anger of the recent cases dies down.
Now this is only my opinion but I think it is important that the mothers who are in prison are top priority to have their cases reviewed, and I think this is what is happening. Next it must be those who are already in the system awaiting judgment whether it be for a criminal case or a civil hearing where their children could be released for adoption.
Lastly comes people like me, and I would love to be top of the list, but I have to be realistic and I have lived with this for 15 years, and I do not expect to have an adoption order overturned. My Children, all children, MUST come first. I can cry when I see those Christmas presents still piled up in the corner for them, because I have not been able to see them to give them to them. I read what Maryz wrote and thank you, I wish that my children's adoptive parents were as open as you. MaryZ, you have given me the insight that I needed and was to close to get. It is therefore important that the adoptive parents do not portray this situation as a threat. IMO I think it would be wrong to uproot a child during it's formative years, it may already have been removed from one set of parents that it loved to be placed with another. It is hard to know what to do, I think each case must be judged on the age of the child, the circumstances and if it has been an 'open' adoption. I do think that I can not expect a court to overturn an adoption order and give me back my children. I want contact, not just 3 or 4 times a year but to be able to hug them and if they want to let them call me mum. More than anything I want them to know the truth, that their mother is not some evil monster, who could harm them. I would like to think that it is something that could be worked out with the adoptive parents.
Maryz I did what you sugested and contacted the adoptive parents and they were very defensive. I am trying hard to understand their point of view but I think that they must feel very frightened and they did not give me a chance to explain that I meant them no ill will. I have written to them but have not had a reply. I should have seen my daughter at Christmas but for 'various' reasons they said, they could not manage it. I need to reassure them so that they will arrange a date for me to see her. With regard to my son, now that he is 18, he does not have to attend access meetings and I have not seen him since his 18th Birthday when I know he was told something. I would like the opportunity of telling him my side, (the truth).
Oh- dear I seem to have gone On and on I am sorry, but if you feel that you can write/e-mail your M.P. (including this thread if you want) I would be very grateful. It is important that as mothers we never let this happen again and that we do not allow the government to bury this or let it become yesterdays news until their has been some kind of resolution. Oooh I am almost sounding like an anarchist - I'm not honest.
Thank you again for your support that motivated me in the first place. Mumsnet is a life saver.
Love Bunglie XX
Cheeseball, if you want to e-mail me through mumsnet or I can contact you, as our situations are a little different, I have been given some additional information that applies to you.
I will keep you posted if my M.P. ever does get back to me.