Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
News
Original poster

Sir Roy Meadow to face inquiry

348 replies

musica · 18/12/2003 14:56

Here's the story

OP posts:
Janh · 27/02/2004 14:31

Ohh, bunglie, I am so excited about that text message! To a teenager that IS a letter! I am so thrilled I am practically quivering!

Yes, write back straight away (or txtbck first, so he knows you are a cool dude who knows how , and mention that another letter is on its way) and send the photo and offer some dates.

Re your stepmonster - if she has been as negative about you as I suspect she has your children probably already have an idea that she didn't exactly stick up for you before. You are a saint not to want to drop her right in it right now. I should avoid talking to her at all if you can - if she tries to tell you what to do just tell her you have no wish to discuss it with her and hang up.

Have no idea how to start with wording your letter to SS. Do you have a specific office/person to write to?

Bunglie · 27/02/2004 14:32

I am so sorry, I have been so self absorbed that I have only just read your posting Postsue.
I am so very sorry, we must have been going through the same awful thing at about the same time.
Did you get an 'open' adoption, did you keep your children, sorry - don't mean to be nosey but if I have any info, telephone numbers that maybe of help to you then please contact me.
Where on the MAMA site is the link to this thread? I have not posted anything on their site so am a bit curious?
Please Postsue, you will find wonderful support here, sensible advice and if there is anything I can do just contact me and I will try and help. No one can say they understand unless they have been through it but the empathy here is wonderful and have saved my sanity. I am certain that they will help you too if you feel you can tell us what we can do to help, I know that the support is here. My thoughts are with you. A special (((((HUG)))))) because I needed one not so long ago and I am certain you need one too. Bunglie

Janh · 27/02/2004 14:34

PS Of course he is not too young to understand, she is clutching at straws. How dare she pretend to have his best interests at heart. How dare she be angry with you. Grrrr.

Janh · 27/02/2004 14:35

PS Of course he is not too young to understand, she is clutching at straws. How dare she pretend to have his best interests at heart. How dare she be angry with you. Grrrr.

Beetroot · 27/02/2004 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Janh · 27/02/2004 14:37

Sorry, postsue, I didn't notice yours until Bunglie replied to it - was your situation like Bunglie's? Did you have to go to court? Have you been in touch yet with any of these agencies? Please tell us more if you feel you can. Hugs from me too.

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:39

Bunglie - that's FANTASTIC news! Please, strike while the iron is hot and arrange to meet him ASAP. Don't delay. I think that's particularly important because I REALLY don't trust your stepmonster. She sounds as if she would say or do anything to spoil things for you and keep in with your children. Don't give her the chance to poison the well with lies or innuendo - if she has contact with your kids she could say or do anything behind your back. I don't mean to make you paranoid,but just look at her track record. How DARE she get angry with YOU?? That's amazing. She ruined those kid's lives and your lives and lied and caused your children to be taken away and she's angry with YOU? Is she mad?

Re your son, I would write back immediately, enclosing the photograph and suggest that you might meet for coffee soon as you will be in the area (make up a reason if you want) and thought it might be a good idea to meet up.

I think you should take the first letter with you, in case he wants to know what really happened and you can give it to him.

He wants to see you - and that's just unbelievably wonderful.

BTW don't worry about the texting - he's 18 and all 18 year olds text all day longer and wouldn't dream of writing a letter! it just means he's normal.

Beetroot · 27/02/2004 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:42

And I'm really, really glad you've found someone to give you the support you need at the After Adoption society. That guy sounds very clever, and very sympathetic.

RE the letter to social services, who are you actually writing to and what do you want the letter to say?

Beetroot · 27/02/2004 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bunglie · 27/02/2004 14:43

You are all right -as always! (The knickers help!!)

Problem; I have to read the manual to learn how to send a text - can't be that difficult can it?

What do I text him? Yes I could arrange to meet him earlier, do think he will think I am being pushy? Should I sugest meeting on neutral ground, go up to where he lives or invite him to my home? How about if I take him for a meal or something? Help!!! What do I sugest, what do 18 year old expect, How about a publunch? Oh I don't know will read the manual and come back and read all of your wonderful sugestions.

RE: Step-monster, I have no intention on talking to her again, No worries there. I feel quite 'strong' and am not going to ne intimidated.

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:43

janH has once again given great advice If that bitch calls you again, put the phone straight down. She has nothing to say to you that you need to hear.

SofiaAmes · 27/02/2004 14:44

Bunglie, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

TEXT him back asap and suggest that he comes down THIS weekend or NEXT at the latest. Why wait? He clearly wants to see you and it doesn't matter whether you go fishing or just hang out. (take him out to a nice posh lunch...he probably can't afford to eat/cook properly in his bedsit). By the way, a text message is to a teenager what a phone call was to us when we were young. If he didn't want to see you he wouldn't have responded at all. And I think that he will see a text response rather than a letter as a signal that you are as eager as he is. I'm so excited for you. I invite you and your children and all the mumsnetters who want to come to a celebratory party at my house (in london) as soon as you are allowed to make your identity known!

SofiaAmes · 27/02/2004 14:47

p.s. A word of advice....don't show him the bits on this thread about your knickers. 18 year old boys DO NOT want to know that their mothers wear knickers. Especially ones that hook under their bras.

Beetroot · 27/02/2004 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Bunglie · 27/02/2004 14:52

Aloah - The letter is to the Adoption Manager and it is to remind them that my case involved Meadows and in light of Mrs Hodge's directive they are obliged to review it and provide support for myself and my children in telling them the truth. Also most importantly request that the letter written to my dd, given to the ap's to give to her on her 18th birthday is NOT now given to her as it will state that I have msbp and tried to hurt her.

Ooh I am so confused why don't they write instruction manuals in English? But am getting there, C U L8er, is that right and make me a cool dude????

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:53

Isn't this just the best news?? I'm so happy for you Bunglie. Compare how you sound with your very first post - you are a different woman today. Hooray for you and for your lovely boy.

Bunglie · 27/02/2004 14:54

Beetroot - Is this a new language that seems to have by-passed me?

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:55

Bunglie - do you know what? I think you write a killer letter anyway. Why not just write it and we'll all stick our oar in afterwards
You seem to have the gist of it right there.

Beetroot · 27/02/2004 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

aloha · 27/02/2004 14:56

I can't text either. Must learn as feel very ungroovy.

Beetroot · 27/02/2004 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Janh · 27/02/2004 14:57

Bunglie, what kind of phone do you have? Mine is a Nokia 3410 which works like this:

when I read a message it shows "options" in the bottom LH corner - if I click the button below "options" I then get a list which goes

delete
reply
chat
edit
use number
etc etc

and "OK" in the bottom LH corner - I use the arrow keys to step down to "reply" and click the button below "OK".

Then I get a blank screen to write the message with "options" in the LH corner again - click that button again and the first on the list is "send" with OK in the LH corner - click that button AGAIN(!) and the message should go.

HTH - your phone is probably different but I know I find it incredibly hard to read manuals!

Janh · 27/02/2004 15:01

Am wondering what sort of date to suggest to him - pub lunch sounds excellent - do you know anywhere that does really good food but is not at all intimidating and has quiet corners for talking in?

C U L8ER is excellent!

SofiaAmes · 27/02/2004 15:12

Make sure that you go to someplace that you know is wheelchair accessible. I don't think you want to distract from the day by trying to wedge yourself into a door that doesn't fit you. (Can I make a little aside complaint about how wheelchair unfriendly this country is...as compared to my beloved usa...we are a little more advanced in a few humanitarian things).