Sir Roy Meadow to face inquiry

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Here's the story

Mothers against munchausen syndrome by proxy discussion board, is here:

MSBP

Some of these ladies will have been through similar experiences. Sadly.

Sorry, that should have read, Mothers Against Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy ALLEGATIONS, discussion board!
HTH

JMG, good to raise the impact on children of falsely-accused parents. I think it was Angela Canning's daughter who wasn't allowed near her mother for months even before the trial? Or maybe Trupti Patel? Social Services sometimes don't seem to consider the trauma they are inflicting on children, esp. when in some cases they turn up unannounced to remove kids.

[email protected], is the email address of penny mellor, she set up a group (Called dare to care) which is currently helping over 50 families with parents who have been wrongly accused, I believe she may have been involved with Trupti Patel (?).

Below is a link to a fantastic page with links to several other groups who help people in your situation. AAFAA (action against false allegations of abuse is a particularly helpful group.)

links here

I hope amongst these you can find people who can have a better understanding of how all of this feels for you, and advise on where to go/what you could do next.
xx

Levanna - I have just browsed quickly through the MSBP site you posted. This is so harrowing. The effect on the children, the parents, the adoptive parents. What a bloody f**k up!!!

As someone says on that thread its interesting that Patricia Hodge is suddenly very concerned about the affect on the children of moving them from adoptive families... its a shame the affect of moving them from their natural families wasn't considered more fully!

Bunglie, I would say that personally I wouldn't write to your son until your daughter turns 18, just in case he tells her and they stop you seeing her. It breaks my heart. Levanna's links are just superb. I hope you find some solace there.

I have checked out ALL of the recomended sites, thank you all for your input. Unfortunately the AAFAA site is closed and the MAMA site sounds just right but they would display my real name and location which I can not afford to happen at this point.
Good news is that I emailed my MP, no reply yet and I sent an email to Bill Pache as this was what was sugested when I telephoned his office. I gave him a few more details and attatched this 'thread' to it so he could see how it came about I was contacting him and I did not have to re-write my story again, which I find quite painful. I shall let you know if he replies and offers me any advice.
I am a bit worried about Mrs Hodges attitude, I have the article from the Telegraph and it seems to me that if she could 'sweep this under the carpet' she would. Isn't she suposed to be the minister for children? What is her job description I should love to know! I am sorry perhaps I am being very unfair to her. In retrospect it must be very difficult to reconcile this situation, but the children MUST come first. I would love nothing more than to hug my children and tell them that I love them, but that is me being selfish. As young people they have been through a lot already they do not need more confusion in their lives. One last thought, as I said I feel as if the adoptive parents tolerate my presence 3 times a year (if I'm lucky!) but in all seriousness I can not imagine how they must feel. What do you think if the children you adopted were placed for adoption by mistake?

Bunglie - Thankyou so much, you have given me the strength to tell my story. So much of what you say I have experienced only it is a bit different for me.
I lost my first child to SIDS, it took me two years before I got pregnant again and both me and my partner were so happy. I brought her back from the hospital and she had what was called an apnoea attack, I revived her and took her straight to the hospital. She was kept in for observation and the next thing I knew was that a social worker was there asking me questions about our first child. Without us knowing they took out an order, signed by a magistrate saying that I could not take my child home, the order only lasted 28 days, but in that time they consulted this Professor Meadow and my daughter was released to the care of foster parents and I was not even told where they lived or allowed to see her. When the case came to court I was told that I was a classical case of Munchausens syndrome by proxy. Nothing I had done was right. If I showed concern about her health I was over protective and obsessed, one of the symptoms. I did not have a very good lawyer and like Bunglie I thought it was all a mistake and when it came to the court hearing they would see that I was a loving mother. I was never interviewed by Professor Meadows but the court said they had to put the welfare of the child first. My little girl is now just in her teens. I do not know where she is as she was adopted. I not only grieve for my dead child but I now grieve for a daughter that will never know me and I do not know how to find her. I do not know what an 'open' adoption is, but I was never told about this. I would do anything to find my daughter and clear my name. I have never had another child because I know they would take it away. I am not educated and I trusted the people who were suposed to know about these things.
I have looked at the links and I like Bunglie am a bit anxious about contacting MAMA as they want your name and I am also not allowed to tell people about it as the Judge heard the case in a private room and you are not allowed to discuss it with people. I never did anything to hurt my kids but the strain led me to have a breakdown and I now take prozac, so I doubt that anyone would think I am a fit mother to have children in anycase. It has almost destroyed our marriage but I do not know what else there is.Thank you Bunglie and everyone for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. I know that nothing can be done and I doubt that they would re-open my case but it is good to tell someone at last.

Cheeseball - god, these are just heart-breaking stories. This not being able to tell situation is madness. Do you think you could contact your MP, in light of this review? Surely there needs to be some change in the law on this aspect. Best of luck. x

Cheeseball and Bunglie - what can I say? My heart is breaking for you both. I am shocked by this evil - these witch trials and Kafkaesque secrecy. Bunglie, you sound the least selfish person on this earth. And Cheeseball, if taking Prozac to cope with the worst two tragedies can could ever overcome a woman is a sign of an unfit mother, there isn't a fit mother on this planet. Please do contact Penny Mellor - she knows this subject inside out including the iniquitous secret police state that is the Family Court system. As for the adoptive parents. If I were them and I knew you, I would do everything in my power to make sure you had a relationship with your daughter. I would feel racked with guilt about keeping you apart. Anyone who felt different would be a thoroughly wicked person IMO.

Aloha, you are totally spot on as usual. I have no experience of this sort of tragedy, and if it happened to me I would go crazy I think. Throughout today I have kept being 'hit' by the enormity of these cases, and I just can't believe that in this country such huge decisions can be made by some pompous doctor who doesn't know the case. It feels like living under Stalin or Hitler not justice.

Cheeseball and Bunglie I will pray so hard for you that you get something in this review, be it contact with your children, your children back, whatever you want. I just hope that justice can finally be done.

A final thought - why do murderers and rapists have to be proved 'guilty beyond reasonable doubt' by the courts - i.e. they have the benefit of the doubt, but a MOTHER who has 3 cot deaths is a murderer unless she can prove otherwise. Meadows Law states that 'one SID is a tragedy, 2 suspicious, and 3 murder, unless proved otherwise.'

It is Kafkaesque, isn't it? Truly this man is the Harold Shipman of paediatric care. Actually, TBH, I think he's worse. Pity the bloke doesn't hang himself and do us all favour.

I'm hoping he lives at least long enough to be utterly humiliated by press coverage of the review, and by public reaction to stories like Cheeseball and Bunglie's. Apparently he was whining the other day that he'd like to clarify some "misunderstandings" but he'd been gagged by his lawyers. Rather like innocent parents have been by the Family Court system then.

Oh my god. I am tears reading Bunglie and Cheeseballs stories. Not in my worst nightmares have I ever considered the idea that some stuffy professor who had never met me might have the power to take my children away. Even now it seems so horrific as to be almost inconcievable. Its not often I feel the desire to actually hound someone but honestly if you give me his address I might just go round and picket . Cheeseball - you have my upmost admiration for simply going on. Bunglie although you were awarded open adoption so at least you saw your kids the courage it must have taken for you to watch someone else parent your kids that you love is just stunning. Cheesball - you should find your child! Bunglie, you need to tell your story so that your kids realise what a fantastic mother they really have. Good luck to you both. You sound like amazingly strong and fabulous mums!

Cheeseball, how brave of you to tell your story. I have been horrified at the stories here and the ones I've been reading in the papers. It's as though there has been a secret epidemic of child-snatching, it's shocking to think of what parents and children have been put through almost on the say-so of just one 'expert'. Chilling stuff.

Contact these lawyers - Alexander Harris at www.alexharris.co.uk - they appear to be experts in class actions - they are representing the victims of Shipman and are encouraging victims of Meadows to come forward too. They have a freephone number and offer up to an hour of free legal advice. The number is 0808077477 or you can email them via the site.

aloha - I was going to post exactly the same - Roy Meadow is as seriously evil as Harold Shipman was - you beat me to it. So is he going to be prosecuted for perverting the course of justice or something ?????

This is so tragic - there but for the grace of god goes any one of us, hey? Cheeseball, I'm so sorry that this man affected your life so terribly too.

Bunglie mentioned Margaret Hodge, our 'supposed' minister for children. I'd be very surprised if Hodge wanted to put the needs of children first. This is the woman who covered up child abuse scandals at children's homes when she was in charge at Islington council. She told social workers trying to expose the problem to shut up and go away. And more recently described one the victims of abuse there as 'deeply disturbed' in an attempt to discredit him and prevent BBC broadcasting his story.

Hi Bunglie, I agree with you about the MAMA discussion board sounding like a good place for you to access. I'm not sure why you think they'd display your real name and location? Submitting your location is optional, and they don't even ask for your real name. It seems to work on a 'nickname' basis, like here.
xx

Cheeseball - what can I say? Thank you for telling us/me your story and the nice things you said about me, but it is the encouragement of the women on this site that has made it possible and given me the strength to contact my M.P. Please believe me when I say that you will feel better if you do that or something. I was doing nothing, afraid of losing what contact I had with my children, but you have nothing to loose, you can only gain. I can think of nothing worse than losing contact with my daughter and not knowing where she is. I am lucky, at least I have some contact and that is something that I am grateful for and to cling on to. I almost feel like a fraud now, selfish, wallowing in my own self pity. My God you should be very proud of yourself if you have managed to survive and only need Prozac. I too take an antidepressant, Paroxetine. I am ashamed to add that I also tried taking my life. When I was finally diagnosed as having a real illness that the court was told (via Prof. Meadows testimony) that I did not have and it was all in my head, I did not feel vindicated but angry. Anger is destructive; I took an overdose of all my medication. It was not a cry for help, I was on a ventilator for two days and then I could not tell the psychiatrist why I had done it, because I was not allowed to discuss the court case. Your strength is an inspiration to me and you are the first person I have had the chance of 'talking' to with a similar but more harrowing experience than myself. I do not want to push you in to anything but would it be alright if I e-mailed you? I honestly understand if you would rather I did not. I knew that I was not the only person this man affected by having their children put in care but I have never had the chance to hear anyone else?s experience. Please take heart from the wonderful support that I have been shown on this web-site. I was feeling and still do a bit, ashamed and angry, but did not know what to do. I had all my emotions ?bottled up? but this site has been a release valve for me and now that I have done something positive I would like to think that the energy is now being channelled in a more constructive way.
Levanna - I tried to e-mail Penny Mellor, but it bounced back, I shall try again tomorrow in case I did it wrong (I am tired, no sleep for the last two nights!!) do you know if there is a web-site or anything, many thanks XX
I know I am a bit daft but could someone tell me what IMO stands for?
I am astounded at your wonderful responses to me Having told you my story, that is why I have not slept. Emotionally I feel a cross between fear (in case I am found out by the adoptive parents or the courts), apprehension and and genuine happiness that having now told the truth I have not read one critical response - Cheeseball I hope that you too find some helpful links and comfort.

IMO = in my opinion

Bunglie, Cheeseball my heart goes out to both of you. I don't know how anyone who has ever had a child can not feel for you. I couldn't watch the coverage of the Trupti Patel case, I was so upset at the thought of that the government could so easily jail a woman on such obviously (to anyone with even the littlest of a scientific background) flimsy evidence. I had no idea how often it had already happened and to how many women and children. I am so happy that it is finally being brought to light. Please let us know how things go for you both. I'm sure you will have happy endings to your stories.

Hi Bunglie and Cheeseball, the FRG (Family Rights Group) have a free and CONFIDENTIAL advice line.
0800 7311696

Here's a link to their web page:
FRG

They provide support and advice to people who's children are involved with the social services.
I called them last year on the behalf of the lady I mentioned before, and they were helpful.

I've searched for a web site for Dare to Care, Bunglie, but no luck I'm afraid.

The address for Rioche Edwards Browns 5 percenters is
here

I know it's not entirely relevant, but it might interest you nonetheless.

I've checked again, and I really can't find where the MAMA discussion board ask for a real name?

xx

Bunglie, never be ashamed that you tried to take your life. It is a testament to your love for your children and your SANITY that you did this. It is how any of us would feel and act. A mad woman who hurt her children wouldn't be depressed or anguished to have them taken away. Only a really loving, caring mother would be this devastated.

Eddm: Margaret Hodge? Like you, I have no words to express my contempt for that vile woman. I vowed never to vote Labour again as long as she represented that party. Nothing I have seen of her since has caused me to change my mind.

Thankyou. I looked again at the MSPB site and saw that it was optional, I have since registered but I am not certain what to 'post'. I am still awaiting a response from my M.P. and the solicitor, but then I do not expect one over the weekend.
Cheeseball, I can not get your heart rendering life out of my mind, I understand if you do not want contact, but I am here if you should ever change your mind. Perhaps I was being selfish asking you if you would like contact. I more than anyone understand how difficult it is to talk about this and how you are afraid that 'The Authorities' will find out that you have broken your silence.
I still feel as if I have to justify what I am saying is the truth, because once having this label you realise that no one will believe you. Well I believe you.
Finally I did confide in a very close friend that I had posted my story on this site and her comments were, 'I wish you hadn't it will come back and bite you' I spent yesterday thinking I had made a very bad mistake. After a GOOD nights sleep, very badley needed I re-read this thread, thought about what I had done and the only way that I can see that I can be hurt is if the adoptive parents find out and stop my contact with my daughter, but then I think I shall lose that when she is 18 in anycase, unless I do something now.
What I do know is that I feel better having told my story. I know that it is only a small thing that I have done, but it is a very big thing for me to finally be able to tell someone. I do feel a mixture of emotions and I am having to be careful to think very carefully before I act. There is a whole bit of me that wants to 'shout from the roof-tops' "Look what this bl**dy man did to me - I am innocent" But I realise I can not do that and I MUST think about how this will affect my children and I must do all I can to maintain what contact I have, I could not bare to lose them both. So you see I can not afford to let the emotional bit of me 'jump in feet first'.
What I would like to know is. If you were an adoptive parent and you adopted two children in goodfaith that their mother was unable to care for them or might even harm them, and you then found out that their was a chance that this was not the case and that the children had been released for adoption 'by mistake', how would you feel? I am too close to work out a realistic answer but I would like to know how the adoptive parnts are likely to react?
Enough - I need a good cry to cheer myself up and get it out of my system for a while, anyone else like that?
Cheeseball you are in my prayers. XX