To save confussion, here is the story again, a bit garbled and dijointed but I have tried to put as much in without identifying myself or the children.
My dd was 2 and she developed speech delay and had several seizures. I took her to the hospital (after a referral from my GP) and this was for investigations. She had a brain scan and an EEG which were both abnormal, at the time I did not know this and the consultant was a 'friend' of Meadows and spoke to him on the telephone. Most people think that Meadows was a psychiatrist or something, he was only a peadiatric consultant at ST James's Hospital in Leeds. He sugested that as the mother herself had an illness, (which my daughter could have inherited) that was so rare that it could have been facticious and that I was seeking attention through my dd, and creating her illness. Their telephone conversation was on the Wednesday and I was arrested on the Friday. I was so shocked, interviewed by the police for over 4 hours (I still have a copy of the tapes), and locked up. In the meantime my dd was in hospital and I did not know what was wrong, no one would tell me anything and because the police did not give me my medication by the morning I was in the local hospital intensive care department. I had a police guard on my bed, although I was on a ventilator for part of the time. 3 weeks later the police took me from the hospital, with a nurse escort, to the police station, charged me with 'Attempted Murder' which was later altered, and I was taken to the magistrate court that afternoon, with the nurse, where I was granted bail whilst in hospital, (and had to return to the court in 6 weeks, when they sent my case to the crown court.) I was returned to the hospital later that day and stayed in hospital for a further 4 weeks before being discharged home. In the mean time I had been granted access to my children and so the police who were going to refuse me bail, at the next court appearance changed their minds. I had to wait 18 months until the criminal case was heard. Part of the delay was that the prosecution kept getting adjournments because they could not find anyone to prosecute me. When it did finally come to court I was acquitted after 3 weeks, I did not have to offer a defence the judge decided that 'There was no case to answer' as the prosecution had not proven their case and it came out during the trial that my daughter whilst in hospital had been the recipient of a drug prescribing error which accounted for the drug levels in her blood. So I was cleared by the criminal court and the social services were asked to return my children. They refused. In the previous 18 months they said they had further evidence as to the fact that I had this MSBP because Meadows had spoken to my stepmother. My relationship had broken down with her when I was about 14 but I guess the final straw for me (back then) was being told that "she did not want the children she only wanted the man", my father. I never had a good relationship with her and we kept out of each others way, the rest of my family gave evidence on my behalf to the court saying what my 'mother' was like, but the judge said that it had been 2 years, the children could not be rehabillitated with me due to time and the differences between their expert witnesses and ours were "Intractable". So the Judge erred on the side of caution, he put my children first, which is quite correct and chose to disregard all of my expert witnesses who testified that I had this rare illness, did not have MSBP or would never dream of harming either of my children. At one point early on in the proceedings I was given the choice of having just my son back, but I thought that this would be too distressing for his sister and felt it best they were together. I still honestly thought that it was all a mistake and that they would realize. When the judge said "The order is granted. The wards are released for immediate adoption" It was like I had been stabbed in the heart, I can not explain the pain. But I was lucky. I was not put in prison. I was found innocent by one court and guilty by the other. I have never expected anyone to believe me but that is the truth. I did not and never would do anything to harm either of my children. Where I live now no one knows about this except ONE hospital consultant, who I see regularly. You see they did not just "gag" me but they sealed all the papers and that included my medical records. When I moved I had to go through all the tests again so that they could confirm the diagnosis. They accept my diagnosis and there is a letter in my notes at the hospital that states despite a previous accusation I do not have Munchausens Syndrome.
The only expert witness that the social services had was Professor Roy Meadows. I had 3 very eminent neurologists, a very well known pschiatrist and several other doctors but they were all critisized because they had made no attempt to speak to Meadows. Roy Meadows, never interviewed me, saw my medical notes or spoke to a doctor who had treated me and yet they believed him, his facts and figures.
If I am very honest at one point I almost began to think that I did have this illness as it justified what had happened. I was lucky I had a GP who believed in me, she went to the social service case conferences, but I remember her saying that she felt unable to contradict them in case they did not invite her again and that it was as if they all sat around egging each other on as to what a bad mother I was. They portrayed me as a self centered monster. I can not prevent anyone from believing that but I would like my children to be able to read all the witness statements, I have kept, and make up their own minds. I do not say I would have been the perfect mother but I do know that I did my very best for the 3and 1/2 years that I had them. They were both conceived and born out of love and I want them to know that. I think I have told you all too much, but even after all these years I still feel that I have to justify myself. I am sorry if you think I have deceived you all in anyway, I did not mean to.