Justine and her mum - Times' Relative Values

[TanteRose]

today's Relative Values

Justine, your mum in the photo in Malta looks just like you now

Nice article - your mum sounds fun! Oh and is everyone at Mumsnet Towers really scared of you?

Yes that was the best bit: "some of her staff are scared of her" Who??

What was it- in charge of a noisy gang? Ha ha ha.

I enjoyed reading it. I like that column every week. I think the main thing women need to do is ditch the guilt. It's a sexist trap. Men don't have it. Our children can do briliantly and indeed be superior to the children of housewives and children will always whinge about things whether it's too much mummy around or not enough. Anyone taking the Xenia course in the superiority of the children of mothers who work learns to ditch the guilt at stage one..

'Tis the guilt talking

You're making me laugh. YOu can't see it on line and I don't subscribe but I get it delivered. I think if you get home delivery via the newsagent the Times should give you free on line access but they don't.

Why shouldn't the children of working mothers do better than those of housewives? I don't expect housewives to agree but there's a very good case to be made.

I loved it and found it all goes to prove that a sense of humour is the best thing and a relaxed attitude. It really isn't important whether you bf/ff, co sleep, WOHM or SAHM and all the other stuff people get so uptight about. All you really need is unconditonal love, security and communication. How you achieve those things doesn't matter!

Contented parents tends to hlep children whatever their life choices. J's mother worked coupled with a bit of benign neglect and letting children learn to stand on their own feet. It does annoy m e slightly though when mothers whatever their age have done a very goo djob and they make the point about ghilt. It's just terribly sexist,. What man ever writes about that. Women need to ditch their guilt. I often think the main reason I manage stuff is because I am content in my choices and never think the children would be 100% vb etter if I were home doing some stupid mundane tasks with them every day or having vacuous conversations at the school gate.

A working mother produces a sucessful child - that's the article and it proves that plenty of us who work hard and succeed and work full time are some of the best parents around.

Why does it have to be a competition? There's enough people who try to make women feel guilty about the choices they make bringing up their children without any more joining in.

It is other mothers who pile on the guilt! I think that women are insecure and they pick a parenting style and then set about proving it is 'the' parenting style and anyone else is wrong. There are no 'right' answers, babies haven't read the right books!

As soon as I became a Mum I got 'the guilt', so my Mum told me that guilt is just natures way of keeping you asking whether you are doing the right thing for your children - to keep you straight. Too much guilt about something and you will be forced to rationalise one way or another.

Frankly any Mum who can say they have the power to 'ditch the guilt' is going to get a shock wake-up at some point or another.

The point is surely that guilt is our own way of measuring and checking our own choices and decisions...it emphatically should not be imposed by other mothers whose circumstances at the time of decision making could invariably be wildly different.

My biggest guilt when reading this thread is that I suffer from the same righteousness as some of the other mothers here... and yet what I'd really like to become is the mother who measures success by my children being happy and healthy, whatever the weather.

Good God Xenia. How can you be so highflying and high earning by being so breathtakingly rude, not to mention wrong?

Why do you have to be so cruel Xenia? Have you brought your children up to be as cruel about people who are not like themselves as you are?
For the record I'm not a 'housewife' either.

xenia, i am so thankful i am not in your brain.

I picked up The Sunday Times magazine by total accident on a tube today and opened at random to Justine and her mum. I felt the mother daughter lurve and I liked it.:) Lovely photo too.

That's fantastic news Riven. You must be so incredibly proud. And I hope your other DD makes the progress you want her to make.

It really doesn't make a jot of difference to your DCs intelligence or achievements if you work or stay at home! Why do women do it to each other?

Blimey, I clicked on this to read what I hoped would be a happy article, and instead get assaulted by the usual working mother/housewife debate. Is this relevant to the article?