Justine and her mum - Times' Relative Values

[TanteRose]

today's Relative Values

Justine, your mum in the photo in Malta looks just like you now

Nice article - your mum sounds fun! Oh and is everyone at Mumsnet Towers really scared of you?

It really didn't bother me; there are lots of women with drive and first class brains who think that bringing up the next generation is the most exciting job there is.
I dare say that she didn't put it well, but it is the old guilt again and justifying choices. If you have nothing to justify that sort of comment completely washes over you.

You also have to allow for the fact that the journalist has an agenda of their own and I expect that a lot that was said was missed out. From my own experience, I will never ever allow a jounalist to interview me again and I wouldn't have anything published unless I wrote it myself!

He is wise to avoid the confrontation, I don't know why I even stray onto some threads!

Agree Lamona that journalists twist things, my DH has experience of dealing with them on a daily basis.

However, you would think she would have the common sense to never utter the phrase "the little woman sitting at home" within 3 miles of a journalist. Its bloody patronising and insulting.

I can imagine MNs PR company, whoever they are,having absolute kittens when they read that article. It could be a complete PR disaster for MN if the nationals picked up on this comment. Imagine the headlines in the Daily Hate "MN founder thinks SAHMs are "little women sitting at home."

I bet it was out of context. The reason that I was so cross with my one experience was that I couldn't complain, I had said the words, but not in the context and they don't show things like inflection and tongue in cheek. I was so cross that I went around kicking things in the garden, but other people thought it was fine and I was making a mountain out of a molehill! (I would love to have a huge story one day and to refuse to speak to a jounalist, whatever the money-it is my little daydream!)

I don't think it's a story TBH. In the media world, that is what SAHM's are. They are there to go toicelsnd, buy bunting and make cupcakes.

Maybe Justine could come and tell us if the comment was taken out of context-I would love to know and I'm sure many others would also.

Although as I have already said you would think she would have the sense not to let those words out of her mouth anywhere near a journalist. No matter what the context.

to many words in that headline more

Justine: I'm No Mum.

Ahh norman maybe you have hit the nail on the head! She obviously thinks SAHMs don't read "The Sunday Times" so they wouldn't have seen her comment.

Well indeed. We are all too busy reading Take a Break and watching JK and cannot cope with thr sophistication of Sunday Times.

I think it was an off the cuff comment and she is entitled to it.

Be realisitic though, you don't think someone like Justine would want to be a SAHM anymore than Richard Branson would want to take a package holiday in Orlando.

I mean, come on.

also agree that anyone loking at a male-majority forum would find them to be every bit as judgy and prescriptive as Mners discussing co-sleeping.

DH's photography forum just gets nasty sometimes.

Who said Justine would want to be SAHM? I respect her choices, and would hope, given her job and association with women in general, that she would respect SAHM's choices.

I would be equally annoyed by her saying- "My Mum was a SAHM, she could never have been a pushy career woman"

squeaver Sun 16-Jan-11 14:49:11
Yes that was the best bit: "some of her staff are scared of her" Who??

But this is as sexist as saying "Justine was too driven to be a SAHM"

Totally normal for highly driven, over achieving company bosses to inspire fear in employees.

Or do people think working at MN is all fluffy bunnies and tea breaks and supportive managers cos they are mostly women?

In my working life, the women (incl me) were every bit as ambitious, rude, straight- talking, driven as the men. I would expedct nothing less than staff being scared of the head of a successful busibness like MN. Man or woman.

You take risks when you speak to the press. Some business people never reveal how they vote as they don't want to annoy 50% of their customers. The balance of saying something wrong or being misquoted against the advantage of having the publicity in the first place and sometimes you win and sometimes not.

Yes, women do have drive, ambition and desire for wealth. The press likes to portray us as little fluffy bunnies but that is not so. Many women adore working and the last thing we want is 12 hours a day singing wheels on a bus when we're not hoovering.

i don't see us leaving MN in droves though?

far from it. it isn't a Ratner-style gaffe.

If my mother was interviewed she would be far more embarrassing than Justine's mother!
I think people are being over analysing and over critical and it was just a nice little lighthearted article. It would be nice if Justine gave her 'take' on it but I expect she will keep clear!
(Could people, hand on heart, say that their mother wouldn't be a bit embarrassing, let loose?)

It would be wiser not to comment. The more people comment the more things blow out of proportion.

I just thought it was really nice that we have the real true view expressed taht women love to work and being at home is far too dull for most of us and we bring up happy balanced families where women work. I was not happy that there was some suggestion that guilt should be attached to working however.

If this had been an interview with Justine's husband and his father do you think the issue of work and the effect on their children would even have come up?

THAT is the most sexist part of the whole piece.

well said squeaver - though increasingly you do hear men being asked that in interviews. Not nearly as much, nor with the same in-depth grilling though.

Have recently returned to work from maternity leave. Work is varry stressful but I feel brilliant to be out of the house. I have 3 dcs under 5, I feel guilty that I am happy at work. Women huh? Rightly or wrongly, for me, my self esteem is tied up with my job.

I think Justine would do well to stay clear.

The reality is that she feels too driven to be a SAHM. Given that she is a successful business woman, that is hardly the shock of the century.
Why should she need to justify that?

She did not say that all women should work.

sob, we both worked when we had 3 under 5, indeed 3 under 4 and those 3 are now 26/24/22 and they have so very much benefited from our both working full time. Don't feel guilty. People kind of engrain sexism when they think women should feel guilt for doing something right and men shouldn't.

I never like the word driven. It's usually used by the lazy against those who enjoy their lives and have some success. its' a streange word. You could equally be driven to sit on the sofa all day eating crispy creme donuts.

I don't mind driven Xenia. And am happy to call myself ambitious too.

I think that it is very un-middle class to say so (and thus will bring the MN wrath down upon anyone who confesses to such a sin). And certainly not something a laydee should admit to.

But I don't care.

I worked quite hard as a SAHM and I have been known to work quite hard as a WOHM- though I frankly admit to finding academic teaching easier than child rearing.

But as far as wanting success goes, I don't see that much difference: at work I try to enthuse undergraduates and postgraduates about learning and expanding their horizons- as a SAHM I was doing pretty much the same thing.

What I have always done, though, is to try to sound enthusiastic and in control and to stand by the choices I had made at the time (or even by some things that were not strictly speaking a matter of choice at all).

I do not think helplessness is something that mothers should model. Particularly not if they had daughters.