I thought I was a terrible housewife but after 3 days away have realised just how much I do (and DH doesn't)

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

I had a lovely break staying with my BF and her baby and after a transport nightmare last night didn't get home until past midnight so just fell into bed.

I am horrified at the state of the place this morning, and the bright sunshine doesn't make it any better.

• Dishes from breakfast before I left are still there with various others piled on top.

-The DC emptied their drawers all over their room which DH put into bin bags in hall rather than put back away. At least he picked them up I guess!

-No laundry has been done so there is a mountain of it. The washing I hung up to dry thursday evening is still on the racks, and the washing machine I put on spin friday morning before I left has been left with it sitting in it.

-The floors are filthy

-The windows have sticky handprints all over them

• Every last puzzle, game, duplo bit and set of blocks seems to be strewn around the house

-And worst the toilet seat has poo on it.

There's more but I won't bore you. No doubt they had a fun weekend, they have been out to the aquarium, park and beach but simple things like this should have been done aswell? At least I should be grateful he thought to take the rubbish out.

Where do I start? I feel to angry to even bother.

oh and he didn't make it hail

he is not God

cappy

do people really expect their dh to wipe the windows every time a child touches them?

Not important:
no laundry done - I would expect clothes that are encrusted in mud, tomato sauce, wee to be put straight in the wash rather tan left to fester. Also washing left in the machine now smells faintly mouldy!
floors not clean - I clean certain areas at least twice a day, under where the DC eat, around the sink, the bath etc. The fact he left these areas means the whole place is filthy as sticky juice etc has been spread around.
handprinty windows - I care.
toys all over house - oy vey. you have KIDS. - But I tend to only bring out one or two puzzles or box of blocks at a time and encourage them to put them away afterwards, not let them have them all and throw them around
sheets not changed - fair enough just annoying they were thrown on the floor with no regard.

If the house was like mine is generally when you went away then I'd be pissed off about floors being dirty and toys being everywhere, because they're things you do as you go along on a normal day.
Windows/washing, I wouldn't expect to be done, especially as I was off having a good time.

TDWP - oh please stop analysing the details of the dirt to exonerate him.

You went away for the weekend. You do not have to clean up after his weekend. Stop babying him. Make him face up to his responsibilities.

just give him a mop then

all you are doing here is raising your blood pressure. He clearly doesn't know what to do so just tell him

ranting on here isn't helping anything

It helps me.
I called my mum earlier and she just laughed and said 'that's men for you'

not helpful

Perhaps he could have done a bit more tidying-up but if he wasn't expected to do any laundry/cleaning he won't have done. I imagine he would have done if you had specifically asked him to.

(Love this kind of post as it makes me realise what a good tidy DH I am ! )

Agree with Egg. makes sense why they want daddy. Ha ha. Love it.

Maybe I am just moaning for no reason the dc seem to be very happy and he got through more nappies/ pants / clothes changes than I would have.

DWP, no telave them again. No, no , no woman. That is so wrong. Dh must be made to do all the bits. And you must leave them MORE OFTEN. You have got it totally the wrong way round

for the first time EVER I agree with UQD

if you didn't give him specific instructions he wouldn't do it in EXACTLY the same way you would

my dh wouldn't do laundry because I have a system and he doesn't get involved. Same way that I wouldn't mow the lawn if he was away, I would leave it for him when he got back

I think there are aspects where you are in the right but it is a bit control-freaky to expect him to let the kids play with their toys etc exactly the way you would

and it is beyond martyrdom to clean it all up yourself

Paying for it doesn't help, as you said, what does that achieve. Only works if seperate accounts.

well said ruby

Oh come on ruby, the man did NOTHING. Have fun, great. BUt zero else. NOT O.K.

Oblomov - paying for it works equally well whether they have separate accounts or not because it puts an external £ value on the slovenly mess that TDWP's DH left for her to clear up.

At the moment he gets the cleaning service for free and he doesn't value it one little bit.

oh ruby, sorry.

Anna, I don't agree, if I made DP pay out for someone else to do a job he shoudl've done then I'd have no leg to stand on.
I couldn't say 'Well, I cleaned all the shit you left when I was away' because I hadn't and I couldn't ever say how out of order it was because he'd say 'I paid for a cleaner didn't I?'.

Plus it wouldn't be he paid for a cleaner, it would be we paid for a cleaner. Not on.

also I think that to pay for a cleaner when you go away is tantamount to admitting that you are a cleaner yourself

i am.

a puffy one

There is nothing wrong with paying for a cleaner so I don't understand that argument.

The point is that TDWP's DH treats her like a slave. She's posted repeatedly with examples of how he does this - and how she doesn't feel able to stand up to his behaviour. He doesn't value her, and he will never value her, until she starts valuing herself.

I think TDWP should get that cleaning agency in and spend a day in the spa getting herself to look lovelier than ever. She needs to love herself more.

ruby you are so right it almost hurts.

He has been under fire a lot recently for not spending time with the children and I must say he did loads more with them in a weekend than I ever would.

Maybe I should quietly clean the rest but poo on the loo seat myself next time he wants to go in there.