Hand hold - declutter diary

[myhouseandhome]

Hi, I've name-changed because I feel I need a fresh start and singular focus. I'm also feeling quite a lot of shame and overwhelm. I owe it to myself and my family to get it together and sort out our house. This is quite a long one and I hope it will be ongoing, so thank you if you take the time to read, but understand if you don't...

I'm 39 with a wonderful DH and 2DC (currently on maternity leave). DH works full-time from home and does all DIY and most of the housework, including laundry, cooking, dishwasher. He can't do any more than he already does and I can't believe he is still with me, if I'm honest. We have been together since we were teenagers and I know he loves me, but I don't think he's happy. He is starting to struggle to cope at home. He's been struggling for years, if I'm honest with myself.

Growing up, I never lived in a clean and tidy house. There is neuro-divergence in the family, but I don't want to use it as an excuse. I've always struggled with even basics like cooking and washing up, and personal grooming, let alone running a family home. I have never had a routine and keep everything, so although there have been periods in our lives when our homes looked okay, it's always been stressful and I've never felt on top of things. Now with 2DC, it is out of control. God, I don't even know where to start. I could cry.

We have lived together for nearly 20 years and I have accumulated stuff in all that time. Today, DH dug out payslips from when I was 17! And I can barely bring myself to get rid of them! What's worse is that the clutter, disorganisation, and lack of routine means that the house is not only untidy, but also filthy. I'm so embarrassed.

Anyway, I've bitten the bullet and agreed to sort it out once and for all. I'm going to do a daily post. Maybe one in the morning and a follow-up in the evening. And I'll share before and after photos when I feel I can. Please, please let me know if this should be on a different board, but I hope I'll get a little support and feel accountable to someone other than my poor DH.

My 5yo has a birthday this month, so it would be really lovely to have made progress by then.I'll start tomorrow.x

Brilliant OP. I love these updates!

top worrying that you'll get rid of something you shouldn't.

sorry to jump in on your thread
good look and keep going
i have the desire to keep all my clothes. Ive given some away then regretted it as my taste tends to change but then goes full circle.. so the above highlighted bit is really hard for me as I regret letting go .. hope you are doing well amd dont struggle in this regard .

Bless his little heart op your son has sone so well. Kids will get on board with decluttering generally though.

I wept when my dds ditched their Barbie's it was gutting!

How are you doing op?

I've just dropped a boot load at the chazza

Hi everyone! Sorry for not keeping you all updated. But... Christmas! Love it, but glad it's the start of a new year. I love new year! Always feel inspired and motivated for change and improvements.

Christmas was a bit wobbly: DH had a really difficult episode of mental ill health, which I found quite hard to cope with. Thankfully, he's spoken to HR and his line manager at work, so he's got support. He has got a lot on his plate - including me and the house 😳 so in a funny way, I feel better than if it had been for no obvious reason. I do feel incredibly guilty for being my cluttering, messy self though. I can see what I must be like to live with, but don't know how to fix it. It is definitely better though, so I do feel there is hope!

My car was also hit whilst parked, so I'm still sorting all that out.

I turned 40! Not feeling any sense of existential dread yet 😂 but I have missed my deadline for finishing the house. I'm just going to get back to doing a bit every day.

The rooms I had already tackled need a bit of attention, but they have remained mostly decluttered and just need a thorough tidy and clean. I think I can do that today, so will try to update later.

I'm full of gratitude if you're still reading this, and would love to hear how you're getting on too.

Happy new year!

Happy new year!!

so glad you’re back as need the inspiration to follow through on the new years fresh start.

sorry to hear your dh has been struggling, try not to feel guilty, you’re doing something about it now.

I’m now 40 too! Don’t feel any different except a little bit older lol.

i didn’t get ds bedroom done for one reason or another but I’ve made a start. I have all the equipment, paint, new bed, and have filled in the holes. Hopefully start sanding and painting over the weekend/next week. Have made small dents in the general decluttering and tidying through the rest of the house and put the car through mot.

it won’t take much for you to get it back on track I’m sure. You’ve done so well so far, you got this. Looking forward to your next update.

Another one so pleased you are back. I've done very over December as I knew hospital appointments and Christmas would take all my energy but he basic's are now an easy deal and dishes are done daily. Now need a plan of action. Kitchen cupboards need decluttering, woodwork need a good clean and walls need a good wipe down.

Happy new year! Well done for keeping going - reading everyone’s updates has motivated me to do some
more sorting out over the weekend.

Lovely to hear from you OP and all the other posters. Sounds like some good progress is happening or just maintenance level which is great due to Christmas!

Not much decluttering happening here. We re already fairly minimalist so its mainly getting rid of clothes that Ds2 grows out of and donating books every few weeks to school once we no longer need them.

I am however constructing a list of everything that I don't want to take back with us when we move back to Europe in 18 months time. Will be lovely to jettison it!!!! Its things which will be too small (scooters, bike, roller skates...), too old (couple of sofas, coffee table) or just too damaged from our time here (we're in the tropics).