Hand hold - declutter diary

[myhouseandhome]

Hi, I've name-changed because I feel I need a fresh start and singular focus. I'm also feeling quite a lot of shame and overwhelm. I owe it to myself and my family to get it together and sort out our house. This is quite a long one and I hope it will be ongoing, so thank you if you take the time to read, but understand if you don't...

I'm 39 with a wonderful DH and 2DC (currently on maternity leave). DH works full-time from home and does all DIY and most of the housework, including laundry, cooking, dishwasher. He can't do any more than he already does and I can't believe he is still with me, if I'm honest. We have been together since we were teenagers and I know he loves me, but I don't think he's happy. He is starting to struggle to cope at home. He's been struggling for years, if I'm honest with myself.

Growing up, I never lived in a clean and tidy house. There is neuro-divergence in the family, but I don't want to use it as an excuse. I've always struggled with even basics like cooking and washing up, and personal grooming, let alone running a family home. I have never had a routine and keep everything, so although there have been periods in our lives when our homes looked okay, it's always been stressful and I've never felt on top of things. Now with 2DC, it is out of control. God, I don't even know where to start. I could cry.

We have lived together for nearly 20 years and I have accumulated stuff in all that time. Today, DH dug out payslips from when I was 17! And I can barely bring myself to get rid of them! What's worse is that the clutter, disorganisation, and lack of routine means that the house is not only untidy, but also filthy. I'm so embarrassed.

Anyway, I've bitten the bullet and agreed to sort it out once and for all. I'm going to do a daily post. Maybe one in the morning and a follow-up in the evening. And I'll share before and after photos when I feel I can. Please, please let me know if this should be on a different board, but I hope I'll get a little support and feel accountable to someone other than my poor DH.

My 5yo has a birthday this month, so it would be really lovely to have made progress by then.I'll start tomorrow.x

@TadpolesInPool So much lighter! I'm a bit gutted we didn't do the children's clothes too, but, actually, if I'd brought it all downstairs there's no way we would have finished. All we have downstairs now are the clothes to be listed in zip bags and they're tucked away, so downstairs looks like nothing happened. We are both so tired though! DH is asleep. 🥰 I'm only going to start the children's clothes when the remaining clothes are out of the house, so that should be 2 weeks max: 1 week to list, 1 week to sell on Vinted, maybe on eBay.

Thanks for checking in and for all the fab advice.x

So happy to find this thread! I have adhd and likely autism too, and currently in the midst of an epic declutter. Planning a full day attack of the house tomorrow so finding some motivation and others in the same boat is great.

Sometimes I feel like it's going to take years but progress is better than staying still. Can't wait to check out the resources mentioned - I've found sort your life out great too, I'd definitely go on it if there wasn't a whole having your shitshow of a home, as well as yourself, broadcast on TV!

@myhouseandhome just seen this, massive congratulations 🥳
Don't you feel so much better?

Well done, that's fantastic progress! I have various health issues which make decluttering hard and a slow process.

Also my partner is a pack rat 😄.

While the kids were young I left the clutter and it has piled up over the last 20 years!!

I'm so close to finishing my 4th room and you have inspired me to try to complete that in the next week!

Just checked back on this thread and wow! You are doing amazing OP. I am sure this will be life changing!
This week I have cleared the loft. Several bags to the tip, and I have a pile of stuff for the charity shop that I am going to bag up and drop off today. Keep going!

You are motivating me to start OP. I moved in a hurry 3 years ago and I had bags and bags of stuff but with the help of my adult children the house was decorated and tidy . It has deteriorated except for one room I have managed to keep tidy and I love it. In my defence I work nearly 50 hours some weeks . Instead of my usual panic cosmetic Christmas tidy before visitors come I want to do it properly. You have inspired me to start . Thank you .

I was hoping you'd let us know whether you managed the loft on Wednesday - well done! 🏆

Thanks for the TOMM reminder - I've been using the app this week, although I'm only doing Level 1 tasks. 😅

• Quick floor clean of main living areas
• One load of laundry
• Quick clean of bathrooms
• Make beds

I've got a clean living room floor, but everything on shelves and units is dusty, grubby and cluttered. I'm on top of the laundry now! 🥳 The toilets and sinks in both bathrooms are clean, but the bath and shower are still grim. 😷 I've got to declutter there too. My beds goal is to put all the bedding in on a Sunday, so we've all got fresh linen on Sunday night.

What I know I will find hard is keeping on top of the really basic stuff that are never on lists like this - everyone assumes you know what to do! Doing something small and adding it on every day has really helped me this week.

I agree with PP - I am also inspired to declutter!

I het bogged down with work and basic cleaning and really need to clean properly!

Don't forget that you can customise the TOMM app so if you discover something that you wish was on the list, add it.

Day 8
DS1 has an activity on Saturday mornings, so we dropped the recycling and donation bags off first thing! 🏆

We got home at 11ish and I did zero housework 😅 It's DS1's birthday soon, so I had to check RSVPs and order some bits. DS1 set up a game on the living room floor that he's continuing tomorrow, so no vacuuming today. The dining table and kitchen were in use all day, but we kept everything clear and tidy. Once DC were in bed, DH and I watched an episode of Sort Your Life Out. 🤓 DH went to bed at 10pm, so I reset the living room, dining room, kitchen, and cleaned the downstairs toilet and sink, then I finally decided to tackle the hob!

It took A LOT of elbow grease! I followed the advice on this page: https://www.cleanipedia.com/gb/kitchen-cleaning/how-to-clean-a-gas-hob.html
The rings and burners are soaking overnight in a bathtub full of washing up liquid and water. I might be oversaturating the burners, but they were so greasy. I'll just have to air dry them somewhere warm tomorrow. The hob needed several goes with a washing up cloth and washing up liquid, then I got the tricky bits with an old toothbrush. It's not perfect, but it's so much better!

I'm going to try to get the Level 1 jobs done first tomorrow, so that I can consider my next move! I didn't do laundry or the upstairs bathroom today, so they're my priority. Also, I've only got 6 more days to list the clothes before donating them instead. 😬

Photos!

• DH took a photo of the recycling 😅
• hob before 😷 and after 🌟

Not perfect, but I've got a hob spray cleaner somewhere, which might make a difference.

• rings and burners soaking in the bath. I'll have to scrub these tomorrow.

You're doing really well, OP. I use a product called Elbow Grease on my gas hob, it's a brilliant degreaser. I buy it from Savers.

Elbow Grease All Purpose Degreaser, 500Ml https://amzn.eu/d/cLveFW1

Well done OP ypu can be so proud.
With the bed linen, sure keep it as Sunday fresh for everyone if that works for you.

I actually found it easier washing-wise if I have a rota. Our bed Sunday, DS1 Tuesday, Ds2 Thursday. Easier to keep on top of washing and have fewer sheets hanging around. Plus we store sheets in the bedroom they're used in.

@BatshitCrazyWoman thanks for the tip - do you think it will work on the rings? I spent 40 mins scrubbing today - they're better, but still caked. 😫

@TadpolesInPool thank you! ☺️ Weather was crap today, so we only managed DS1's bedding. His room smells lovely and fresh! 🥰

Day 9
I was up with DS2 at 6am, so feeling it this evening. 😴 This morning, I scrubbed the rings and burners (still greasy), and used the stainless steel spray on the hob - much shinier!

DH cooked a roast and I chilled (think I deserve it! 😅). After lunch, DH and I tag-teamed spending time with the DC and clearing/cleaning up the dining room and kitchen. We tag-teamed laundry too, so I put a load on (including some clothes to sell that needed freshening up), DH cleared the airer, I put the clothes away (in drawers not on the stairs!), and he hung out the new load. I feel great for helping, as he would have done that by himself before.

We did the same again after dinner, but ran out of kitchen roll! 😫 We only had washing up cloths, so I'm going shopping for more supplies tomorrow. I need to buy a mop!

Before going to bed, we reset the living room and dining table, DH washed up and I dried up, then I cleaned the kitchen counters. The last counter just needed a tiny declutter, but I gave it a good scrub. Now every kitchen counter is clear and decluttered!

I think I'm going to clean the kitchen units next, then the kitchen and dining room floor when I have a mop.

I'd also like to list the maternity clothes tomorrow. No idea how long it will take, so might have to prioritise what gets done.

I'm consciously trying not to declutter (unless it's obvious rubbish), as I don't want to create piles of decluttered items until the original kitchen counter clutter is gone and the clothes are listed.

Photo (singular)!

I know it's not much, but it's still progress. At some point, I need to clean the pot, microwave, kettle and toaster. Also, spoke with DH about replacing the metal utensils with silicone and wooden utensils instead as he is terrible at using metal on non-stick.

Just realised I conveniently forgot about the oven too. 🫥 Such a big job. I might save that until the clothes are listed.

I love ready your updates @myhouseandhome well done

You've inspired me to get started on clearing my late dads 40 odd years of 'useful things' from the garage & shed.

Just a suggestion but cleaning the oven is one of my least favourite jobs, if you can afford it, I'd recommend booking a professional oven clean. You could then get some oven liner sheets to line the bottom and which make it so much easier to clean it yourself going forward.

You are an inspiration!

You are doing brilliantly.

I hate cleaning the Owen and if getting in a professional is not possible them this Oven Pride is very good. It comes in a box and is sold in most supermarkets and on Amazon.

Thank you! I've asked DH to order it from Amazon, so it should get here soon. 🫧

Thank you! I'm sorry for your loss. I think I'd find this really hard, so wishing you the best of luck. Are you attached to your dad's things?

I've actually got an oven liner in there, but it's full of carbonated debris. Probably a fire hazard actually! 😨 I think a professional clean is on the cards if I don't get it clean with the Oven Pride first. @witmum Thank you for the recommendation. We actually have a box in plain view on the kitchen windowsill... I think it's been there for at least a year. 🫥

Oven pride is a great product.

Use it overnight for best results - it’s not harsh or breath taking like some products!

I’ve cleared my wardrobe of two non bags at the weekend and cleared my car!

I did quite a bit at the weekend, not as much as I’d have liked, but our room is like A Squash and A Squeeze the after picture! It’s really nice being able to walk without having to watch your step

@Totaly oh my gosh - the car! We bought a new car (albeit second-hand) in May and it hasn't been cleaned once! 🫥 It is empty of rubbish though. I've been good at taking parking tickets and things into the house. Mostly into the hallway and sometimes to the recycling. 😅 It's another thing that I have zero routine for! Well done for your bags and car clearout! 🥳

@BertHandsomeAteMyBudgie I know exactly what you mean about walking without watching your step. Our front room is a maze of boxes and paperwork atm. I can't wait to move DS2 into the nursery - his cot takes up my entire side of the bedroom and DH had all the clothes in his side until last week! It's amazing how much bigger the room feels with all of those bags gone. Well done for getting something done! I'm focusing on progress however small.

Day 10
DH was in the office today, so I had the 2DC by myself. I don't usually like having the day to myself, but I was really looking forward to today!

Didn't get much done until DC2 had his morning nap, but then reset the dining room and kitchen after breakfast and put on a load of laundry. We used up loads of food in the fridge last week, so really needed to do a big shop. I did Aldi and then Morrisons, and got a bit carried away buying cleaning products. 😬 I don't really have a list of go-to products and definitely bought too much - will need to declutter cleaning products at some point. As well as shopping, I recycled a bag of batteries, a bag of 'recycle with bags' plastic, then dropped another bag of donations to a charity shop. 🥳

After lunch, I emptied and reloaded the dishwasher then it was time for the school run - it comes around so quickly! I must admit that I am already loving having a couple of times each day to just sit in a cleared space: after the school run is lovely because the kitchen is now tidy and clean enough for me to get DS1 a proper snack, and he has the space to play and tell me about his day. 🥰

I prepped dinner (again - this is a real novelty!) and took DS1 to an activity. DH was serving up when we got home and we tag-teamed DC until their bedtimes. DH hung up the laundry, I vacuumed the living room floor and sofas, DH vacuumed the dining room and kitchen (!), then I mopped the dining room and kitchen floor! Genuinely can't remember the last time the floor was cleaned.

When DH went to bed, I reset the living room, cleared and cleaned the kitchen counters and hob, put on the dishwasher, did some washing up (incl. drying and cleaning the draining board), then I cleaned the downstairs sink and toilet and the upstairs sink and toilet. I would never have believed I could do all that in less than an hour a few days ago!

Does it ever feel less time-consuming? I'm enjoying it atm, but the daily cleaning is taking so much of my time and I'm only doing half the house. 😩 I guess weaning makes it harder - I've no idea how we'll do it all when I'm not on maternity leave, but these are problems for next year!

Only 5 more days to list the clothes before donating them instead. 😬