The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

Thanks for the new thread , marking my place !

Hooray for a new thread! 🥳

And here are the links to various methods which some of us have found helpful:

• Help For Hoarders by Jasmine Harman (the author/producer of the BBC1 documentaries My Hoarder Mum and Me and Britain's Biggest Hoarders)
• The FlyLady Cleaning Method by Marla Cilley
• The Organised Mum Method by Gemma Bray
• The KonMari Method by Marie Kondo
• A Slob Comes Clean by Dana K. White
• The Getting Things Done Method by David Allen

Yay! Thank you Solo, and Margo for links.

Hope situation with Mum is improving Solo, never want to pry but think of you and what you're carrying.

Not the biggest thing but as I'm stuck in hospital but trying to work, I thought I'd better try and organize myself better, and have just de-cluttered a suprising amount of rubbish out of a large bag of files and letters and pens and scale rulers, drawing materials etc. It turns out I've been carrying at least half a normal size carrier bag of pure rubbish with me every time I picked it up!

Hooray for new thread @Solo and loving the links too @CherryMargo.

Great work @Elleherd a little bit of progress in the most trying of circumstances 👏

Hello all, just checking in to the new thread (thanks Solo!). I’m not managing anything at the minute and not feeling great. Maybe the weekend will be productive!

Sorry you're suffering Elleherd admire your dedication to declutter even from hospital though.

Lovely to have those links all in one place CherryMargo, thanks. There's also the Fledglings threads on here for anyone wanting to get into the FlyLady system without getting too involved with the website and her emails etc.

Sorry you've lost your mojo Miaowse mine has been missing lately too. I'm trying to pick myself back up now. I've done all the "easy wins" so have lost motivation for decluttering. I'm going to start with a to-do list and take it from there.

Thanks for the new thread Solo and the reminder to focus on our positivity instead of berating ourselves for what we haven't done. I needed that.

How is everyone?

Mojo still missing here, BlueSummerBaby.

Elleherd how are you after your hospital admission? Sending healing wishes your way.

Mojo missing here too.

Mojo has been absent for most of October for a myriad of reasons, including a deeper understanding of what it means to have to sort another hoarders home out (largely against their will) and what a mountain we need to climb.

The sun is out today and I’m really motivated to get something done in my own home, so wish me luck.

Would love to hear how everyone else is and especially hoping that @Elleherd is doing better 💐

Well not much going on at mine. Still struggling to get motivated and the cold and rain means I’ve got a rather sizeable laundry backlog to get through.

Hope everyone else is doing better than me.

@Miaowse the sun went in quickly after I posted so completely relate to the laundry pile! We were also lucky to have a holiday in October but I still have unpacked but still unwashed stuff. And I washed some stuff just before we left (that might have been in laundry for months) that is probably going to linger in the laundry until it’s next needed (in six months) which is a bit depressing because you never feel on top of it. I have to prioritise school and work wear but it means there will be stuff that’s grown out of but can’t be donated because I haven’t washed it. I’ve had my dehumidifier on 24/7 and I do highly recommend one but I’m mainly limited to drying laundry overnight.

Getting cases unpacked and away in storage within a week of getting home was a big win for me. But I didn’t manage much else and seem to be hoarding ‘sorting out materials’ such as boxes that are starting to add to the clutter 😫

Oh yes, I can relate @FiniteSagacity - i have a wobbly tower of empty cardboard boxes in my kitchen. I do get sick of it every so often and break them down for recycling, others have been filled with charity shop stuff (but crucially not actually dropped off…). We get quite a regular supply of boxes from deliveries so I don’t keep them all (progress!!).

It feels like it’s been grey, rainy and damp for weeks. And I’ve been feeling quite under the weather so no motivation. I always have some excuse

I have lurked for a while but I think I need to join you. I have an extreme hoarder mother (newspapers, tissues and rotten food in heaps halfway up a room with her possessions mixed in), I grew up in that hoard and have tendencies myself (albeit more organised and cleaner).

I really want to live a life that isn’t bogged down in stuff and have seen how bad it gets (cleaned out several times my mums seriously hoarded homes). I am determined to not tread her path and I watch decluttering videos to relax, feel amazing when I let something go willingly, often set out to spend my day decluttering… and yet, there’s the wall. I can’t let go of x, or y because […insert emotional or practical reason … ]. It’s like walking through treacle. i have boxes stacked in the hall, living room in every room. Organised but just there with nowhere to go. It’s upsetting my partner who doesn’t deserve it (and me too!). Why can’t I let go of stuff?! Rubbish is fine, but useful stuff?

i have been calling it ‘mass’, like de-objectifying things, which helps me. I am managing to get out 1 long term clutter thing a day - from a pen to a top, and write it down in a book so I have a reward seeing fill up (I have ADHD so chasing dopamine that way!) which gives me hope but I have a trickle of things going out of my home when I want a flood.

Anyway, Hi! Nice to join you. I am hoping that talking about it might help shift things...

Welcome @Phrenologistsfinger ☕

I’ve been at my hoarding parent’s house this very day removing rotten fruit, rubbish and recycling, so feeling solidarity with you on that. Plus relating to the pain of then coming home to my own home and knowing I need to be better and wondering why I’m not more motivated/decisive. I also feel I make my family unhappy with all the stuff (but they’re no help with getting rid).

Highly recommend Dana K White from ‘a slob comes clean’ as an excellent resource - website and helpful podcasts (which I can listen to while I clean/declutter). Listened to her most recent podcast episode 352 on my way home today and it was so very on topic of what I’m currently dealing with. Her approaches are very simple, the container concept might help - make the container the limit (and the bad guy).

Also suspect I have ADHD the more I learn about it and because I find getting started and making decisions so hard. Dana tackles this with a few basic principles but it’s so worth listening to her talk about the journey to how they became so simple.
Also, Huberman Lab podcast episode 37 about focus was interesting for ADHD and I’ve also started following Joseph Pack’s war on attention podcast for ways I can help myself.

Welcome to the thread, Phrenologistsfinger

I also watch loads of minimalist/ decluttering videos

@Miaowse and @Phrenologistsfinger which decluttering videos do you like?
I think I need more visuals in my life (and something to watch other than match of the day).

I’m sure you’ll already know the ones I watch most often already - Dana (slob comes clean!), Dawn & Cass who offer the ‘take your house back’ programme. I scroll through the other recommendations and just watch anything that catches my eye but don’t pay much attention to names. Also open to recommendations

Tomorrow’s task aaarghhhh
although a bunch are towels , sheets and mattress or pillow protectors. Rest I’m not ironing either just folding and then others can put their own stuff away . My arthritic hands and shoulders are already hurting but I normally try to finish it all in one go then not think about it for a week . DD has her first 11+ school entrance exam so I’m nervous for her .
Lots of stuff happening here at a steady pace , I’ll recap later . Should go to bed now …

Come to say Hi, what is everyone up to? and hello to Phrenologists Finger.

It's all been a bit of a survival battle here tbh, and I'm nearly bankrupt, but I got moved here, an ordinary ward, yesterday, which means I have internet and can rejoin you all, and start planning on getting out of here and picking up the bits and reins of my life ASAP.
It feels a little sudden having been stuck here so long, but welcome, and apparently amongst lots of other things, the beds co-ordinator will be automatically be coming to talk to me tomorrow about planing for discharge.

Confession: when they moved me it was in my bed piled high and surrounded by carrier bags, and with my wheelchair bringing the overload.
It would seem the hoarding gene/habit has survived alongside me. I was going to say 'Oh well we can't have everything' but it would seem, actually we can! Whether we should or not is another matter!

How is everyone, and how's it going?

Elleherd lovely to see you back
it sounds like you have had a very eventful time, wishing for a very speedy recovery and hurray for restored internet access.

So happy to hear from you @Elleherd and hope you’re feeling better after some enforced rest. Also hope you’ll at least get to talk to someone about planning for discharge and can move forward.

We’ve had health issues here and it’s a reminder of what is most important and not to take your health for granted.

Also, both amused and impressed you were moved with your bags, getting things done even in those circumstances.

Hi everyone, could I join in please?

We have so much stuff and although I was in a right mood and cleared four bags for the rag bin and one for charity I still have an absolute mountain of stuff to clear out, I know it took us me years to gather it all so it won't be gone over a weekend but I need to get a shoogle on and try and keep some momentum going.

Welcome @Defender90 and kudos for seizing the day, 5 bags is immense!

Something that resonated with me recently is having a fear of success, in that when I have a big purge I then regress in a sort of fear of others expecting me to be able to replicate that big step forward again. So I’m totally trying to understand myself and tackle that to gain some momentum. Small and often plus visible progress are absolutely key for me.

Welcome to the thread Defender and well done on getting 5 bags of stuff out, that’s amazing!

Such an interesting point from FiniteSagacity about the regression after success.

I spent 30mins or so on my kitchen at the weekend and it did make a difference. A silly trick I use is to video myself then watch it speeded up and it helps me see the difference and what I can realistically achieve in a given period of time. It’s a bit like taking before and after pics for motivation.