Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Housekeeping

Find cleaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Housekeeping forum.

The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

946 replies

Solo · 10/10/2022 22:04

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
blackheartsgirl · 31/12/2022 12:21

Stayathomegardener you sound like you’re under an awful lot of pressure too. I can really relate to the Adhd, I have it and I think it makes life so much more a challenge with regards to mental load and house management and clutter!

elleherd thank you for your lovely words, they really helped me take a step back and think a bit. The car was my husbands but I’d put it my name and then when the car finally broke and I had to get a new one I swapped the number plates (dvla approved) as I wanted to keep dh plate, then I became I’ll, my mum and aunt became I’ll and so many other things happened too that I forgot to put the replacement plates on the old car and just blanked everything from my mind. Stupid I know. But last night and this morning I sat and went through every pile of paperwork I could find and found the V5. I rung a scrap company and they can’t take it till next week so I will write a note and stick it on the car which will hopefully buy some more time.

Elleherd · 31/12/2022 14:08

stayathomegardener
Quite a few of us with hoarding relatives. I'm really interested in how it affects us both as learned behaviour (even if we've tried to rebel) and possibly genetically.

I’m wondering if the storage space on the farm is part of your home/close by or a distance to get to, but please don’t answer if you don’t want.
It’s good that there is a lovely home hiding in there, it will hopefully help with the desire to see it. (the fabric of ours is in poor condition which doesn’t help)

Blackheartsgirl really pleased if anything I said helped. This thread is very good for helping us have others who get that life is what it is for each of us, without judgement. There are times when people here have helped me save my sanity. Just being listened to or getting another angle can make a difference.

Well done on taking control of the situation and glad you found the V5. Even if things don’t work out as you’d wish you do now have a trail showing you were taking action.
I don’t think it’s stupid that things blank from your mind. It’s stress and overwhelm, and it happens to all of us in the end. (Well that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!) IME it’s usually when we’re really overloaded, and something has to give. If we're not careful in the end we stop getting to choose what that thing is.

Did come back last night but once again ended up asleep where I was with no real memory of getting there. I just remember opening up the thread. Computer had fallen but thankfully survived. Crawled to bed in the early hours. Kept waking up worrying about stuff that's coming down the line, (there’s a lot) but managed to push ruminating away and fallen back asleep each time, which is good progress for me, but don't know if I've had enough sleep to be able to see in the new year.

No de-cluttering as such today, just clearing and tidying and trying to get us as a family to at least go through the motions of 'resetting' for the coming year, and consider new/different habits or resolutions. Don't know how wise that is in the face of a lot of difficulties looming, - can but try.

Elleherd · 01/01/2023 00:32

A good 2023 to all. Star

TalkToTheHand123 · 01/01/2023 09:04

I seem to be the only one 🤔. My parents' house gets quite messy, but a few days later can be spotless.

I haven't done much tidying last few days so starting to get a bit stressed. Hopefully I'll do some a little later tonight if I have any energy.

I'll try not get myself too down about it and just be patient.

TalkToTheHand123 · 01/01/2023 09:05

Oh and happy new year 😁

blackheartsgirl · 01/01/2023 09:20

Happy new year 🙂

is anybody going to be doing any sorting stuff or housework today?

i was but I’ve had my dgd 4since 6 yesterday and her dad won’t be picking her up till 2. She slept like a log but I didn’t lol so I’m very tired.

I’ll probably just do some basic housework. The weather is dire!

TalkToTheHand123 · 01/01/2023 11:22

I'm on shift until 8pm so I'll be happy with having an empty dish bowl at bedtime.

Plates and dishes used to be stacked up and all over the kitchen, so if I can keep on top of this I will be very happy.

Elleherd · 01/01/2023 15:43

Been to aunts and very pleased to say it looks like the dry rot treatment worked and everything's dried out well while I was in hospital. (was very unsure if I'd done it well enough) Lots of filler has gone into huge holes, and seems to not be falling out again, (fingers crossed) so a drying out again process there.
Doing almost nothing here today, partly because it's going to be my last chance for a long time, and partly because after seeing in the new year and going to bed, neighbors decided to start letting off fireworks at 2am and periodically 'till 5, in between partying noisily, and I'm exhausted.
Sunday is normally launderette day, but it's shut and going to have to go onto a stupidly busy tomorow. I shall pay tomorrow whichever way I go. Part of me knows I should try and do more today to get a march on, but afraid I really want to rest physically, and mentally, so will start again tomorrow.

Elleherd · 02/01/2023 21:52

Update: More work on aunts, and some here. Launderette still shut - forgot it was a bank holiday today!
Trimmed overgrown bush and swept front path, took some DIY stuff to storage, did some sorting and another black sack out.

JFDIYOLO · 03/01/2023 01:20

Hello everyone! Nice to find you 🤗

CherryMargo · 03/01/2023 01:44

Happy New Year, everyone! 🎆And welcome @Phrenologistsfinger, @Defender90 and @GonnaGetGoingReturns!

I have caught up with every single post here since my last post, i.e., October 9th, and I would like to express my deepest sympathies to everyone who has gone through incredibly difficult times over the last three months of 2022 Flowers

I am immensely impressed with your strength, and sending caring thoughts your way ❤️ Please be kind to yourself, and do not beat yourselves up if something does not go as planned. Sometimes we need to slow down, and give ourselves time to breathe, and adapt to a new reality. And when you feel ready to proceed, approach the tasks very gently, one step at a time.

As for me, I’ve had zero progress since October, and here is why:

In the middle of October, I had an unexpected visitor – a man who claimed to be a loft specialist sent by my housing association/landlord (he gave the correct name). There has been an issue with the loft and the roof for almost a decade now (my tenancy agreement doesn't allow me to fix it privately, and the HA/landlord ignores me), so it sounded legit, and I let him in. He inspected the loft, said that the insulation does not adhere to the modern standards, and said that he will need to put new insulation on top of the existing one but to do so he would need me to empty the loft first. To which I, of course, agreed.

The loft was full to the brim with my stuff so when it was all dragged down into the flat (over the course of two weekends), it covered every empty surface in my flat (as you can imagine) except for the kitchen and bathroom – those spaces, which I had fully decluttered and religiously kept clean over the last year, MUST stay free of clutter at all costs 🙌

This made it incredibly hard to find space to deal with the rest of my hoard, and I felt claustrophobic, trapped and completely overwhelmed with the size of my hoard. It made deep cleaning impossible too, as I could not reach the outer perimeter, windows and the ceiling of my rooms anymore.

Meanwhile, the insulation specialist never returned. I called him, I texted him, I left voice messages, but to no avail. In December I called the housing association to ask about what’s going on, and they said that they never sent anyone, and they have no clue who that man was.

Unfortunately, this changed nothing as emptying the loft had revealed the magnitude of the issues: the roof constantly drips water onto the beams, forming puddles which sit on the top of the insulation, creating brown spots on the ceiling in every room of the flat, and making the light bulb in the living room flicker every 10 seconds when the lights are off 😱 I really don’t want to put my items back in there until the roof is repaired and the loft is re-insulated and boarded to prevent the insulation from being squashed by the weight of my items.

Therefore, for the foreseeable future, the stuff which I have taken down from the loft will stay inside my flat making my life even more miserable than it currently is. If it becomes absolutely unbearable, I will have to consider the external storage options or… I will have to get the grip, and chuck most of it (which is my worst nightmare) 😖

Defender90 · 03/01/2023 09:48

My goodness @CherryMargo that's absolutely terrible, what a horrible situation, I hope you get a resolution soon, I know personally if I was rushed through dealing with the contents of the attic I wouldn't get anywhere.

Yesterday I started to declutter the dining table, mostly paperwork, mostly useless.

Elleherd · 03/01/2023 13:03

Hello JFDIYOLO Smile

Cherry Margo How Rotten! Flowers
Good to see you, but sorry all this has happened the way it has.

Forgive me if you know all this, but that ‘turned off, but flickering light bulb’ is sounding alarm bells! It is potentially horribly dangerous.
Incandescent bulb = serious and a fault either in the wiring, or water conducting electricity where it shouldn’t, easily resulting in fire. 😱 It's a very common cause of house fires.

LED bulbs - it’s possible without it being a safety issue, but it equally still could be, depends on various things. (If it’s LED it might actually be the bulb, some have a capacitor in them and I’d try swapping it over with a known non flickering LED bulb)
Otherwise you need an electrician straight away.
If you can’t get one until you’ve sorted things better, at least turn the lighting circuit off at the fuse box when you go out and preferably at night. (only a short-term safety measure)

Re external storage - be forewarned it's a terrible financial drain unless you’re very rigorous in how you use it, and even if you are, as has happened here, ill health or accident can change everything overnight leaving you trapped. If you go for it, try and have a plan for worst case. I wish I'd had one.
However, I appreciate a lot of stuff might prevent you getting the repairs done, so...

I hope you can find your way through this with reasonable ease, but please sort the light situation as the priority.
I was lucky enough to be in, and in the room, when water from another flat caused a fire in the wall via wiring, (and the fuse didn’t trip!) Even then it was actually the sound that alerted us, not smoke. That was all within the wall.

Defender 90 well done on the dining table reclaim. Smile

TalkToTheHand123 · 03/01/2023 18:17

The mention of the dining room table. I have a little chuckle to myself as it was out of view for months. The thing is, it didn't take that long to clear 😯.

Hopefully if I can get an earlyish night tonight, I can get cracking tomorrow. Just need to work out where to start 😂.

Elleherd · 04/01/2023 13:46

Update: yesterday went to storage and attacked a few things. Four black bin bags out plus equivalent of a fifth to recycling. Unfortunately I really overdid it and can't move today.

TalkToTheHand123 Hopefully you got your early night and figured out where to start?

stayathomegardener · 04/01/2023 14:28

@Elleherd all the barns and storage space are just next door it's way too easy to throw stuff in there and not have to deal with anything.

@CherryMargo your roof situation does sound dangerous, can you email the housing Association flagging up the electrical situation as a Health and Safety emergency, I'm sure if it's sent on email they will have to action the works.

When did they last to an electrical check? It's before every new tenant or every 10 years.

TalkToTheHand123 · 04/01/2023 14:57

Not really @Elleherd . Late night with alcohol and didn't have much motivation for a tidy up. I put 3 bags of stuff from the living room to kitchen🤭.

I'm just tidying as I go but to a minimum and assessing the clutter and trying to think what to do with it. It seems to get me into a good habit.

I'm trying to think more positively about it ie opportunity to make it tidyer rather than focusing on the mess level.

It's household waste collection this Friday so will be nice to get some rubbish put in once it's been emptied and a bit of motivation.

blackheartsgirl · 04/01/2023 19:32

Made a little bit of progress.Dh car has gone 😭. Finally managed to get it recovered and to the scrap yard before the council had it. I’m sad and relieved at the same time but it’s another thing off my mind.

sorted out potand pan cupboard and made an indent on the washing . So much washing. I’ve neglected it since Xmas.

BlackeyedSusan · 04/01/2023 20:44

Well done!

So not achieved what I hoped but got something done.

Got kids to school for a start.

Caught up on sleep.

Emptied the bathroom and ds's bins. (Sorting out the recycling from ds's bin)

Put some of the holiday stuff away which got left out in September.

Started sewing up my Merino wool base layer. ( I need to get on with it as I need to put it on.

Yesterday we got rid of three Morrisons crate liners of old school books. Ex took them down to the recycling. They are peering at me reproachfully from the slot at the top.

Miaowse · 04/01/2023 22:46

Many people facing challenging situations/decisions Flowers

@blackheartsgirl must have been very emotional - well done for getting it sorted out. I can really empathise with the laundry mountain.

@TalkToTheHand123 I am also counting down the days til bin collection.

@BlackeyedSusan well done getting rid of all those school books, must have cleared a fair chunk of space. I seized the opportunity to shred some papers now school’s back (shedder too noisy to use when the small one is in the house). I got about half the folder done before the shredder had enough and (temporarily) stopped working.

@CherryMargo that sounds like a complete nightmare. Hopefully the HA will take the roof leak/electrical issues seriously & send someone to sort it out pronto. Agree with whichever wise person suggested putting it in writing to them and stress the danger of water in electrics. Now you see the loft collection in your living space, does any of it seem surplus to requirements/less sentimental?

@JFDIYOLO and @stayathomegardener welcome!

@Elleherd well done on your dry rot treating expertise, the stress, expense and hard work paid off! Hope the patching isn’t too bothersome. I’m very impressed you also managed to deal with so many bags of stuff at the storage place but do take care of yourself Flowers Your fire in the walls experience sounds terrifying.

@Defender90 well done - you are doing much better than me on paperwork and my dining table is still buried Blush

I can’t go back to read other updates without losing my post, so shiny stars and flowers all round, anything you can do is worth it even it it seems futile. On that note, I’m heading off to load and start my dishwasher…

Nanalisa60 · 05/01/2023 21:09

I have just watched Nick Knowles big house clearout on channel 5 , very good.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/01/2023 23:02

getting a boy up for school and retrieving dd's school stuff from her dad's house.
rang the garge twice and have booked the car into get fixed.
checked my tyres. need a new one.

washed up a lot.
moved some more stuff out of the bathroom.
picked up some of dd's stuff she has dropped behind the furniture in the bathroom and washed it.
done one load of washing.
took washing upstairs for dd to put away.
put some of ds's washing away in his room.
got a boy ready for football,
made him a snack, drinks etc.
checked when dd's school event is.

BlackeyedSusan · 05/01/2023 23:03

Also topped up ds's school dinner account.

TalkToTheHand123 · 05/01/2023 23:13

@Nanalisa60 I'll have to watch that!

I'm exhausted after today. Had only planned a few mins tidying but ended up doing a couple hours. I am slow at this so not done as much as you'd think.

I'd prepared myself for not noticing any improvement but did actually a bit. Living room and kitchen a bit tidyer. Kitchen is still quite messy but cleared out a lot of alcohol that wasn't worth keeping. (I could have filled the bath and been drunk for months).

Bin day tomorrow and will be able to get rid of 4 full bin bags from bedroom.

Hopefully can keep chipping away at it all. Going to do little bits from a room at a time rather than focusing on just one room until it's done.

Nanalisa60 · 05/01/2023 23:37

TalkToTheHand123

I always find doing a room at a time works best for me.

Also I found doing my clothes worked well for me , I started with the coats and jackets first, that took a whole day . Did the hall closet first. Then the next day started on the clothes in the bedroom everything out of the wardrobes bought new matching hangers and only but back in what I knew fitted and that I would wear, all went in a big pile on the bed cleaned wardrobes and but back all organised our clothes. Then go right round the house and collect any other clothes make sure all clothes are also but away in bedroom.
All the black bags straight in the car for the charity shop next morning. Then few days later did all the draws.

I find doing one type of thing at a time is the best way to go for me. I’m going to do all the bedding next and the towels.

Swipe left for the next trending thread