Fledglings May 2021 thread: MAYbe we’ll keep our routines going as the outside world opens up 😊

[halfhope]

Welcome fledglings to May’s Flylady thread – many, many thanks to ED for her expert guidance through April 2021.

All are welcome and especially Newbies. Don’t be shy in making yourselves known because we are a friendly bunch.
We follow Flylady’s system for house and sanity maintenance which is based around 5 room zones spread over the month. There is a weekly quick home clean in the midst of more thorough zone cleaning. I am an aging fledgling who really should be more proactive about following the plan but to be frank I enjoy the natter and good company more than I enjoy cleaning. Every day I will be checking in and giving the ‘flight plan’ for the day with links to the Flylady site. You can join Flylady on her site for email updates but she does like to send a lot out, just so you know!
The most importantist thing to know is that you are NEVER behind – just do what you can when you can. Many of us post ta da lists as we cross items off our [never-ending] to do lists.
You may find the following acronyms along the way (adapted below from ED’s useful list from April)
LOL = load of laundry
S&S = swish and swipe, a quick daily clean of the toilet and sink
PO3 = power of 3. When motivation is on the low side or you’re overwhelmed just pick 3 things at a time and do them
DNLMS = did not lose my shit
Ned = our mythical mate who helps with the laundry
Pointy stick —-> = for when a fledgling needs a motivational prod
The naughty corner = a relaxing haven where we hang out when motivation is low or when life becomes overwhelming. Usually enticing food is left there with squishy cushions.
KCC – (Keep calm corner) these are little stories, photos, memes, off-topic questions, just to keep us all distracted from the general tedium of lockdown life. Feel free to chip in.

I should reassure that the woolly hats are still accessible :o in fact arguably they are more accessible hanging in the cupboard off the hallway, as previously I’d put most of them in one of my drawers and then promptly forgot to do anything with them

Feeling rather sore of throat again this morning and quite tired so not sure what my expectations are of the day really. I did get a lot done yesterday but the more important admin stuff like various forms were conspicuous in their absence from my ta da lists 😳 so I really do need to pretend it’s Wednesday and stop bloody procrastinating. I also really must start my second assignment - am confused though as I’ve heard absolutely nothing about my first one.

I feel today I need a bit more help with priorities and focus, so:

po3.1
1️⃣sit in front of the heater and finish the YouTube video I started just now
2️⃣morning routine with Cagletini before she goes downstairs (she’s currently in DS’ room, he’s reading his comic book to her 🥰)
3️⃣wake DD1 and get her to move her laundry on

Sing sorry you got a sore throat and tiredness coming on. Lovely your Ds is reading to your dd.
I am going to tell my ds to read to dd.
(Dd can read more fluently than ds so she helps him with difficult words. 🙈 she is 18months younger than him.)

ED- beautuful photo!

Up- glad you hear you had a lovely time socialising!

Its true, I remember about 4 years ago following a 'interiors/home' blog a lady was doing. Such a beautiful dining room with a beautiful mirror. Many months later did a behind the scenes photo. All the junk was pushed behind the camera and lighting equipment. The mirror usually lives on the dining room floor. It was staged for out of this world pictures. Reality v social media i think was her title. She said she had so many messages saying from women saying they couldnt keep thier houses looking stunning. She said she felt it was a duty to show the truth. I loved her being honest.

Tidy you are doing so well! I know what you mean - I don’t mind a lot of ‘stuff’ if it’s accessible and likely to get used. We used to have lots of random bits shoved in drawers and cupboards and it made me feel on edge.

Hope feel a bit better soon Sing. That’s lovely DS is reading to DD.

I have made some progress and feel less overwhelmed with the to do list:
💥 braved investigating downstairs
💥 collected all rubbish and DH took the bags out.
💥 another DW load on and some bits hand washed. Still the glasses to do - no idea how a BBQ for 4 adults and 2 kids can create 3 DW loads even it is slimline.
💥 BBQ table wiped down and away
💥 alcohol returned to cupboard
💥 benches wiped
💥 plan made for leftovers (some frozen as DH seemed to forget we were only hosting for 6 and not the whole street) and fridge reorganised
💥 worst of the grass swept up
💥 bed stripped and LOL in
💥 clean washing upstairs
💥 s&s x 2
💥 ordered some camping equipment for 2 trips we have a planned

Unfortunately I stopped to play with play doh with DD and I fear it will be a while before we get moving again. I have delegated the BBQ and gazebo to DH since he seems to have avoided most of the clear up.

The people are up. They have already seriously pissed me off Fuckers that won't help and just get in the way meddling if you get on and do.
At least today there is coffee!

Morning all.

MrsTidy great work. Goodness make me feel guilty, just a little.

What are all these Instagram pictures I haven’t ventured into Instagram world except to look at DD’s page that I am not allowed to look at.’ So everyone else can but not your mum?’ It is almost all her art work so I do look every now and then. Curious about the others now. They will probably be the parents of poor children not allowed to paint at home. I knew someone who said ‘that is what playgroup/ nursery is for.’ Sad!

Zoo awful that he thinks it is acceptable to let you and his children down again. Good for you going out I would have too.

Up great list and glad you enjoyed it.

Sing love that he is reading his comic book to her. DS1 used to read a lot to DD 14 years between them but so close still. He is missing her.

Well in true Bank holiday mode it is raining here. I am lazing in bed as forgot meds and had them after midnight so dopey this morning but been awake a while reading a thread from a thread about a DH sulking. Haven’t read all as it went on forever. I scrolled down to see how much more and loads I was only reading the OPs posts😳 a lot resonates here though. Interesting. I have stopped pussyfooting around DH when he does that and he comes out of it sooner maybe because it is no longer affective. I go somewhere else...my room, Summerhouse, out.

I have headache this morning. Need to get up now though. I think I will ignore Flylady and do the ironing pile since Ned has never bothered to show his face in the last fortnight.

Hope I usually do the entrance etc for first couple of days then go on to the kitchen on the Wed/ Thurs. since having the kitchen done I keep it much cleaner and it is much easier to clean. The pretty crockery is in glass door cupboards now rather than open shelves which became a nightmare to clean. The dresser needs doing but I did the other open wall unit recently.

Will do bed today and vacuum. Kitchen floor needs washed. I see it has become my job again. I suggested DH washed it every Saturday as he had started doing that. Didn’t last long. I find since he retired that more of the housework is falling to me and seems to be he is reverting to traditional roles. Suits me not to lug coal and logs I must admit.

Made vegan korma last night so we have leftovers for tonight. Bit too mild even as a korma but spices might be a bit too old. My taste buds aren’t what they were though.

Going on Wednesday now so won’t be around for about a week as don’t really want to take iPad with me in case it goes missing. Also going in car now not the train. Still need to book Airbnb near sister’s. Might take 🏕

ta da
1 load in dryer
1 load in washer
start putting away the shopping from the stop and drop zone
really look at the state of the house - yuck
Put ironed tea towels away
hang wet non tumble dry clothes up
sort dirty laundry mountain from where it was dropped at the bottom of the stairs
Figure out where to put some storage stuff away
figure out a plan of attack.
put back some storage tubs that for some unknown reason ended up in the lounge
Fold washing that was clean at dry this morning
Tackle the ironing pile
Work my way through the stack of pots (we have 2 complete sets HOW they have managed to use every last one I don't know)
Another load through the washer and into dryer
Dw loaded and run
fall out with people who are upset that I dealing with the lounge/ kitchen where they wanted to be
tackle one person over the boxes they are hoarding
send the other one on their way to get their computer fixed
Not completely lose my shit over the batshittery
get frustrated that poorly ds means no hoovering and it BADLY needs doing
water plants
Put face masks in to soak
figure out what to do for tea

I think i am going to head out for a little while to calm and be productive in a different manner.
people are so damn peopley!

All the clothes are now where they need to be. It looks as though I put the same order in twice to George at Asda at some point last year and didn't check the delivery properly. Well, maybe it'll put an end to the mad tumble-dryings in the mornings.

DS has totally stepped up this morning! I emailed him loads of photos, and he's replied re every single one. Relaxing now with "Escape to the Chateau", and after this I'll pack up the things he wants. Then a general tidy during adverts.

Enjoy some TV mrstidy
Hills is D's ok?other people can be EXTREMELY annoying
Red sadly I know a number of mum'sthat forbid paint/playdoh/messy play of any kind.very very sad.dd1 already knows when/if there are grandbabies nanny zoo will happily hand them back covered in glitter/cake mix/mud/paint having let my home take the hit of mess

Walk was nice,altho lil zoo twisted ankle whilst filming self and not looking where going and dd2 had massive wobble over how hot she got!(hypersensitivity to everything at mo?)
I have acquired an African violet on a whim.sadly the works left last Sunday as lease was up...
We were just a few minutes from home when rain started,so all good

Back from the first session home ed forest school. Absolutely shattered from the walking 🤣 but it was lovely (if a bit cold towards the end) - DS had a blast, and I got to chat to some other parents I’d not seen for ages.

Waiting for DS to finish showering (campfire smell) then I’m having a hot shower to warm up 🥶

Zoo grandzoolets would be so lucky to have you as their nana 😊
Up that sounds like a fabulous party! And well done on a clean up afterwards.
Tidy that's impressive amount of work right there.

I am determined not to do housework today 😬 Done most of home bleurgh yesterday and hall is not bad at all, just a quick once over tomorrow should sort it.

Done a bit of weeding of the front garden. I am fighting a losing battle with ground elder. I will need to resort to systemic weedkiller. Will spray it tomorrow. Does weed killer harm non weed plants? I am guessing it does, so I will need to somehow do precision spray.

not really Zoo looks like walking death again. Doesn't feel great. We are just waiting for bloods for him and hopefully it is what the doctor thinks it is and there can be an easy plan to help him. Poor sod has inherited the family tendency to migraines.

Yes MC the spray poisions will kill any plant it comes into contact, although i suspect weeds will have a greater chance of survival then the ones you want to keep. Good luck

hills migraines SUCKpoor lad

Argh. Total crash. Wheezing increased big time and super achy. No chance of doing anything else today. Not ideal that Cagletini napped but it did at least make for an easy afternoon.

Had a brief debate with DH this morning. Sorry it’s waffly but I’d love thoughts from my fellow Fledglings!

We are getting a laundry bin to live in the bathroom specifically for towels. I reckon we’d need to do a towel wash 2/3 times a week. Then I thought maybe a new responsibility for the Caglets could be doing one of those per week (on a set day). But then remembered DD1 for sensory reasons can’t stand the feeling of towels (she dries off in a fluffy dressing gown instead as suggested by an OT) so I won’t make her do that, but I realised she could do their bedding once a week instead as it fits in one load (DS would still strip his bed but he does need a bit of help getting the duvet cover back on so that can be part of it). For context they already at least strip and remake their own beds even if we do the actual washing bit!

Anyway DH doesn’t disagree but he also said he doesn’t want the Caglets to get overwhelmed with chores 🤔 and he worries that we (or rather I) will end up expecting too much etc. We don’t normally disagree on parenting stuff 😂 but I’m holding firm on this one. The thing is we are coming from opposite extremes here - he had an awful childhood and was forced to do everything in the home very early (so I totally get he doesn’t want his kids to feel like that). Whereas I grew up in a messy home and was never taught any good habits etc even of basic self care (I am more forgiving of this since I realised that my autism/ADHD is likely inherited from both my parents) so from my POV we are doing them a disservice if they don’t learn this stuff. Especially because due to their SN they may struggle with many aspects of living independently as adults. The more they know and the better habits they have the easier it will be.

I’m not suddenly imposing a load of chores on them out of nowhere, we’ve built it up gradually - they do all their own laundry (with a lot of reminders), we have a chore wheel with four jobs so each day we all either clear/clean the table, hoover the living room, load and run/unload the DW or sweep the hall/kitchen. Oh and they do the bins weekly. Then it’s just the odd other thing like yesterday when they did stuff like cleaning the sink.

I don’t think that’s unreasonable is it?! They’re 11 and 13!

Not unreasonable at all sing

Your teaching them responsibility and life skills

My big two are 11 and 13, they strip and remake own beds weekly, clean and hoover own rooms, occasionally strip and remake smaller dcs beds, they are responsible for going through all the clean dry laundry and sending it to the right place, they both clear up after a meal each day and now load / unload the dw too

I grew up in a bit of a messy house, and dp never did anything when he lived with his mummy because she did it all. He has called me mean before.

Not unreasonable sing. We have dust free chores for ds.

Sorry I am with dh.

I have deleted the rest of what i wrote. But I think this is something that you need to find a compromise that DH is happy with so that you can be on the same page. Otherwise the kids will pick up on it and play ya both.

Did not realise i had such strong feelings on the matter though. Hmm. interesting.

Hills thanks. I hope your DS feels better 💐
Sing I'm planning to link pocket money to chores when DS is old enough for that. I hope you can find a compromise with DH.

I'm watching with interest sing as I wasn't taught skill eitherand I find hard to decide what's too much/not enough...
Currently D's does cat kibblex2 a day
Makes his bed
Needs reminding to do morning and evening routine A LOT
Dd2 helps carry shop bags
Helps on bin day to put stuff in neighbours black bin,make sure excess recycling s in right place.she also puts stuff in big bin if my backs not up to it
Lil zoo rarely does anything,and makes a huge fuss over it too.she can,however fold clothes beautifully if she feels like it.
None of them can get a duvet cover on a duvet.they do strip them off eventually and present for washing when asked
All need reminding what goes in a dark/light wash...

Tonight I've made D's a tuna and broccoli lasagne.ive not made lasagne in many years and feeling quite proud myself for making the effort.he appears to like it very much!
Lil zoo eating her usual hummus veg mix
Got tray veggies roasting for my dinner with cheese and bread

It's blowing a gale out and slamming down with rain.fires on(Tabby's hogging it),in soft joggers and feeling very soothy ❤️

Ps *MC thanks lovely❤️

Hillsit's sometimes a surprise what causes a rise in us
That it's not mean or cruel to raise boys more competent than the UF.you can make a difference for their future partners

We thought it might be fun to have ds run the house for a day so he'd be able to see all the decisions that go into running our home. Not the 'home alone as much chocolate as you can eat' version.

Maybe a week would be better - under supervision. He's not getting homework at the moment as they've to come up with their own activities

This is my point zoo no way am i being responsible for more men-children in the world expecting women to pick up after them!

Don't go Hills - I'll set up a relaxing corner for you in the thread. I so fancy cake or even cherry pie with custard - you can join me if you like.