Please will you kindly support and advise me, as I try to help a friend sort out his home?

[EatingTheElephantInChunks]

Yesterday I started to try to help a friend sort out his home. If I tell you that it took me nearly 3 hours to clear a space on the bathroom floor about 3ft x 4ft, you will probably understand how things are. Today I did a little better. In about 2 hours I cleared another space the same size, which meant I could open a cupboard. Two shelves were almost empty, so I was able to clean those and use them for storage. I will carry on next time with the other 2 shelves and continue clearing the bathroom floor.

It was very satisfying to get rid of a whole binbag of rubbish yesterday and a half bag today, plus a bag and a half of recycling, and a small bag of confidential waste to shred. There is a folding storage crate of things to keep so far, but I'll go through that again to see if I've missed anything that should be thrown out or recycled.

My friend has got into this situation after many years of serious illness and close bereavements, has no family left and few friends, certainly not really close ones. He has been at the stage for several years where he doesn't have visitors. He needs many repairs and much decorating doing, and is getting to the stage where carers visiting would be helpful. I am hoping to get him to the stage where that will be possible. He is such a nice guy, and it's a shame that life has gradually got smaller and smaller for him over the years. It must be terribly lonely.

I feel honoured that he has trusted me with the truth of how things are. I can't talk to anyone IRL as I know it's essential to protect his privacy, and I have changed my username in case anyone makes the connections. I could do with some mumsnet wisdom and support! I have never felt such a sense of achievement over a bit of floorspace 3ft x 4ft, but equally the enormity of the task hit me.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
The author - writing under the pseudonym EatingTheElephantInChunks - claims and owns the copyright of all her posts dated on and after 14th August 2018 as her intellectual property and as a moral right and which are all her own individual and original work. Reproduction in whole or part or any other use is strictly prohibited without her prior written permission.

[Edited by MNHQ at posters request]

Hurray & trumpety-trump for the new appliances.
Re the old ones - do you 100% have to empty them? No chance of being able to gaffer tape the doors shut and have them taken away "as found"? Just thinking it would save you a lot of time & an unpleasant job!
Big yes to appliance wheels; even bigger yes to checking if there is a collection in situ option (it may cost more £, but you only get one spine, & you need that for the rest of the chunking!).
Brilliant progress, especially in the heatwave (surveys own uncleaned house, goes back to Mumsnetting & subsisting on ice lollies...)

Hello everyone and thank you, Chem, sue, Pash and Paws. I had forgotten about those wheels for moving heavy appliances, Chem - thanks. In a bid to save the cash and effort of getting some in time, I've been wondering whether a small skateboard would do the same job. Sorry about your washing machine, Pash - twin tub available for hire - fee only one bottle of gin. I think my friend can use the stove top kettle and the end of the kitchen table as a work surface for the duration of the swapping over, which hopefully will be short if all goes according to plan. I keep reminding myself that he didn't have any surfaces really, not long ago, and so not to worry now. Unfortunately, Paws, they really have got to be emptied. I can totally understand it, for practical leakage reasons and for the health and safety of the staff involved. I don't have to clean the inside and I can tape them up for that reason, but they do have to be completely empty. I'm afraid I'm just going to have to get on with it - not be spineless, if we're talking about my achy one - it was my knees yesterday too! My friend wouldn't be happy for anyone to come into the kitchen just yet - but we're getting there now - and I have to get the appliances outside to empty safely anyway. The washing machine can be an in situ collection later on, definitely. I'm looking forward to the time when I can get an ice lolly from the new freezer, taking a leaf out of your book! I particularly like your suggestion, sue, and your last one, Pash - I just need to pickle myself in gin before the DF&DF, don't I, with intravenous cake and chocolate being piped in? [No winking here, I'm deadly serious!]

Update to follow...

I cracked on with my list yesterday, but didn't follow the order. Keen as I am to get the table in use and the new cloth on looking nice, I realised that I needed to make the arrival and departure of the Dreaded Appliances the priority. I didn't want to run out of time, with the table done, but the necessary preparations for them not.

With that in mind, I removed and sorted the last box from under the kitchen table. Mostly damp things straight to the rubbish bags, but some more churning up sadnesses, I'm afraid, some citronella candles - useful, given I'm being eaten alive by the little tyrants - and some insects at ground level I have never seen the like of before - funny the citronella did not put them off! I then cleared the chunk of floor to ground level - garden spade territory again - in front of the freezer and to level with the end of the kitchen table and Moth Unit - still no drawer movement, despite regular wiggles and the hot weather! After Henrying the floor, I was able to mop it, the last bit of the floor under the table and the lower level of the freezer front with the usual squirt of washing up liquid and mumsy industrial strength disinfectant several times. Even given the warm, dry weather and having the door open, the floor didn't dry after several hours of my being outside sorting out all the things I had removed in to rubbish, recycling, insects to free (!) and - very, very little - to keep. I had to put cardboard down before I left so that for my friend could access the kitchen safely. It reminded me I should get on with ordering the dehumidifier soon. The floor is straight on to earth as previously mentioned and has been covered up for a number of years - at least six, in that part, I'd guess. As ever, it was difficult to see things my friend had gone to the time, trouble and expense to buy - gifts for others, (including probably my own DC), of books, clothes, groceries - unused but completely ruined by time, damp and insects. More crushed, broken glass from milk bottles, rusty, tins, former food and leaking containers - I was careful folks, fear not. Finally, I'm delighted to report that the tiny 'to keep' pile included £3.35 for The Gin Fund. It might be a penny more but I'm not entirely sure what the last coin is. Happy days.

Yesterday's chunking means that - hopefully today - I 'just' need to clear and clean the floor at the side of the freezer, to the hall doorway. The hall door will then be able to be closed - and locked, whenever necessary. It will then be old appliance and former food eviction time. [I don't have a chocolate emoji]

Been reading your thread on and off over the past few days Ele, you are amazing. I couldn't believe it wasn't a zombie thread!!!

How far through do you think you are roughly? Is your friend managing to keep the bits you've already chunked nice & tidy?

Sending much strength and ahead of the Dreaded Appliance removal (have you opened any of them yet?)

I stand and salute you Ele good luck with the opening ceremonies. (Imagines Eye of the Tiger playing in the background as Ele approaches the fridge smacking her marigold covered fist into the other gloved hand, plastic pinny donned and shower cap on head)

If the washing machine needs a part ordering i think a bottle of gin would be cheaper than multiple trips to the laundrette! Hoping it will take less than six weeks from start to finish this time!

When doing the fridge and freezer maybe some Vicks under your nose would be a good idea, for the smell? Let’s hope things are in sealed containers that can go straight in the bin.

Hello again everyone. Thank you to Pinged, Pash and Chem and a warm welcome too to Pinged.

The Vicks is a great idea, thanks, Chem. Yes, sealed containers would be the best case scenario but there has already been some leakage unfortunately and so I am expecting the worst.

I love your work, Pash, and am definitely going to use it to psyche myself up! The imagery is pretty spot on if you add double masks, wellies, a tea towel as a bandana and now - thanks to sue and Chem - the aroma of gin mingled with Vicks and probably old freezer water . Fingers crossed for you and your washing machine. The TT is idle at the moment while I focus on the DAs - just saying. shakes empty gin bottle forlornly

The only thing remotely zombie about this thread, Pinged, is me after chunking - last night after I finished, for example! I fell asleep sitting up in bed, phone in hand, in the middle of checking the weather forecast for today. I wouldn't be surprised if there are zombies in the DAs either! I did open the fridge door just a crack the other day, yes, and immediately shut it again as it did not look good. I think I talk about how my friend is doing in some of my posts, but it is mixed fortunes, which all things considered is probably to be expected and I am ok about that. I really don't want to estimate how far I am along - the thought process and answer is probably too overwhelming right now. As always I'm trying to take it a day or chunk at a time and focus on what I have done rather than what I haven't.

Progress report to follow...

Yesterday was a productive but - especially on top of the rest of my commitments - exhausting day. Surveying the scene at various points start, middle and end, I had to remind myself that you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

I started off by clearing the floor down to ground level alongside the freezer. I'm finding two of those very large and very strong supermarket bags very useful to put or shovel things into and carry outside. It was a bit of a blow to miss the bag with my shovel, tipping some of the worst of it over the previous day's chunk of beautifully disinfected floor! I had to remind myself that it would need vacuuming and mopping again anyway, once I moved the freezer out. And oh boy, did it.

I soon realised that there simply wasn't enough room with the freezer still in situ for me to be able to get to clean inside the hall doorway. I'm not sure that I actually planned to move the freezer yesterday - and the fridge was going to be first, being nearest the back door - but it had to be done. As the freezer was being used as a work surface, I quickly transferred all the things on top of it over to the end of the kitchen table. Gingerly edging the freezer slowly out revealed another spider and moth heaven or hell - depending on whether you are looking at it from the insects' or my perspective! - and many years' worth of things that had fallen down the back, side or underneath. The occupied cobwebs and vacated moth cocoons on the wall, floor, back and side of the freezer and side of the cooker were dense. I don't know who was more shocked that they were seeing the light of day - me or the spiders! I cleared the larger items and vacuumed. I had intended to clear and clean inside the hall doorway and then push the freezer back in for another day - and until I got those recommended appliance-moving wheels - but unfortunately I saw that, even sliding it out carefully, it had started to leak all over the floor. I put down some newspaper to catch as much as I could but there seemed to be nothing for it but to get the freezer outside straightaway. I felt I was stuffed at this point because it didn't look like it would go out through the gap between the fridge and the dishwasher to the back door without first having to take the fridge out as well. My tape measure told me that it might - just - with a millimetre to spare. I carefully edged it through but it still leaked old freezer water as it went. That will be my new aroma now, I'm sure, to add to the gin, Vicks and disinfectant - eau de old freezer water. Do say hello, if you recognise me by my new scent, wafting by in town...

So I'm sorry, Chem and all, but I did have to manhandle it. It is quite a hefty freezer too. The leak gave me little choice. And I joked about the skateboard, but ironically in the end it was actually what helped me and my spine get it down the step and outside!

After some strong and sweet tea and clearing up the trail of detritus deposited by the freezer on its journey outside, I got on with the usual strong disinfectant and washing up liquid and mopped the wall, cooker side and floor vacated by the freezer. Perhaps rather foolishly, dear reader, I then decided to do it all again with the fridge! It was under pretty similar unfavourable terms and conditions, but both the DAs are now outside and that is that. Or it would be if I didn't still have the joy of emptying them to look forward to.

When I had to call it a day in the dark last night, I had to leave the final mopping of the floor vacated by the fridge and the clearing and cleaning of the floor in the hall doorway, which was frustrating but I reminded myself that tomorrow really is a new day. I woke early this morning but it took me three cups of tea to get my will and achy body going. And on that note, take care everyone. I hope to get back at it later today - wish me luck.

Even though I don’t approve of you risking your back in those manoeuvres, that is a massive step forward. A major step in making the kitchen habitable and functional. Good luck today.

Apologies everyone for the inclusion of this post but I have been advised that it is necessary in the current climate.

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
The author - writing under the pseudonym EatingTheElephantInChunks - claims and owns the copyright of all her posts dated on and after 14th August 2018 as her intellectual property and as a moral right and which are all her own individual and original work. Reproduction in whole or part or any other use is strictly prohibited without her prior written permission.

Moving swiftly on (!), thank you Chem, as always.

Sorry haven't read the full update (will do shortly) Ele but suddenly thought I would double layer your bin bags for the appliance emptying, stuff can break through terribly easily!

You got the freezer & fridge outside!
Congratulations!

I have been reading since the beginning but am a few name changes down since then.

I am so impressed by your diligence, your continued determination and your positivity. Well done on getting the fridge and freezer out. I think I'd wonder about options for masks - e.g. maybe an FFP3 or something with a charcoal filter might get rid of the worst of the smell if appropriately sealed?

The water leaking from the freezer will be mostly just water that has melted, assuming that the freezer wasn’t regularly defrosted before it became inaccessible. However it sounds like it is contaminated with the remains of food too. When you open the door (if it’s an upright freezer) make sure you stand clear of what might flood out. Foul water can be quite astoundingly awful. I recently dealt with a container of water that I keep in the garden for birds (it’s an old cat litter tray, don’t tell them) which loads of slugs had decided to drown in while we were on holiday (how? Why? I don’t know). It was the worst thing I have ever smelled. Put even the half full bucket of water in the garage that about ten mice had drowned in into the shade. It’s a house of death, what can I say. The main point is - avoid getting the water on you at all costs, voice of experience here.

Never mind the usual hellos and thank yous, let's cut straight to the chase:

Ding dong
The Wicked Fridge Is Dead!

Ding dong
The Wicked Freezer Is Dead!

🍾🍸🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🍸🍾

Well done!

The bride wore a bin bag and it rained....

I started with the fridge. It was quite full of former food, circa 2012, and mould. The cheese was certainly very blue - perhaps I should have sold it to a nice restaurant?! Insects had certainly been dining out. The bottom was full of what I believe is commonly known as 'bin juice' - pints of it. It was biological warfare personified. There was a sticker inside which said 'Anti-Bacteria' - oh, the irony! Triple gloved, double masked, bevicked, bewellied and bebinbagged, I put everything solid into a rubble bag. I had to use the garden spade for getting anything sloppy - TMI, sorry - out and into the bag and then ladled the fluid out and into the grate using a (disposable!) plastic container. The rubble bag then went into a bin bag and straight into the wheelie bin. Hurrah! I then did the same with the freezer, which was pretty much in the same condition.

I did them both today because I didn't want to have to face it again another day. Respect to anyone who earns their living this way. It is definitely a job that feels better behind me than in front of me. However, I don't think I will be able to face food for about three days.

All I need to do now is tape them shut, cut off the plugs and they can be collected for recycling.

Thank you to everyone for all your advice and support on this most difficult of chunks. I feel like celebrating, but I can't tell anyone why - except you guys in my herd.

It's too late for the DA's., but if you have anything else with liquid to dispose of, you could try putting some cat litter in to absorb it, then just shovel it out.

Delurking to say a huge congratulations on the dreaded fridge and freezer!!!! This thread has kept me company during many a late night with my poorly DS! for you @EatingTheElephantInChunks

I've lurked for three years, in awe, but the killing of the DA's has brought me into the open. Ele, you are a wonderful human being!

Food for the family is in the oven and I've got some liquid grapes after a G&T but alas there was no lemon. There was possibly one in the DFridge - why didn't I think of that before I threw it away and came home?!

A more sensible hello everyone, thank you once again to Chem, Pash, cake and sue and sincere thanks and a warm welcome- or welcome back - to Glad, Jan and fresh.

One container in the freezer, Chem, just one - former icecream. It's a local one I like to buy for the family so I will have to concentrate hard not to be put off by how I saw it today! I hope you were ok after your own deathly water experiences? I thought slugs only drown in beer and it sounds like the bucket did the cats' job - are you sure they weren't involved, directing traffic?! I think I managed to be splash-free but time will tell. I did wonder whether a drop flew up into an eye at one point. I even cleaned up the yard afterwards, concerned that it would harm the wildlife. The litter tray for the birds did make me smile! It's all moving gradually towards habitable and functional in the kitchen now, you're right - that's the goal, with a little beauty thrown in.

I was using two of the medical grade surgical masks, Glad - so I hope they will have been ok but I will keep your tip in mind. I'm sure it will be needed at some point in future!

Great minds think alike about the bags, Pash!

And sue - genius tip about the cat litter too. I will remember that.

Thinking of you and your DS, Jan, and hoping you are both ok.

I've lurked from the start, can I just say, having done a similar clean up (oh gosh, the kitchen and bathroom and bedroom 😱) in a similar sounding old, damp, flagstoned house (shovelling composted 20 years of "stuff" from the floors, oh yes)

my gosh you have my admiration. I did it for an elderly very close relative, you are doing it for a friend. I did it to take control of a dreadful state of affairs and facilitate my relative to have cleaners/carers/me helping her and her to stay at home for another two years (and ultimately yes, if I'm brutally honest, to protect a family asset) ,

You are doing it for no reason other than you are kind
And yes, the "bin juice" from the domestic appliances 😱

Nelly!!! You did it!

Bloody hell, well done you.

Back whenever it was you first mentioned the kitchen I couldn’t really understand why you weren’t starting there - but back then I was thinking ordinary 3-bed semi and it’s clear you’re dealing with rather more of a substantial property. And I can quite understand reading your kitchen posts why you put it off.

You’re an absolute superstar. I wish I could buy you a case of gin, I really do.

That elephant is looking much more manageably sized now, I should think.