Please will you kindly support and advise me, as I try to help a friend sort out his home?

[EatingTheElephantInChunks]

Yesterday I started to try to help a friend sort out his home. If I tell you that it took me nearly 3 hours to clear a space on the bathroom floor about 3ft x 4ft, you will probably understand how things are. Today I did a little better. In about 2 hours I cleared another space the same size, which meant I could open a cupboard. Two shelves were almost empty, so I was able to clean those and use them for storage. I will carry on next time with the other 2 shelves and continue clearing the bathroom floor.

It was very satisfying to get rid of a whole binbag of rubbish yesterday and a half bag today, plus a bag and a half of recycling, and a small bag of confidential waste to shred. There is a folding storage crate of things to keep so far, but I'll go through that again to see if I've missed anything that should be thrown out or recycled.

My friend has got into this situation after many years of serious illness and close bereavements, has no family left and few friends, certainly not really close ones. He has been at the stage for several years where he doesn't have visitors. He needs many repairs and much decorating doing, and is getting to the stage where carers visiting would be helpful. I am hoping to get him to the stage where that will be possible. He is such a nice guy, and it's a shame that life has gradually got smaller and smaller for him over the years. It must be terribly lonely.

I feel honoured that he has trusted me with the truth of how things are. I can't talk to anyone IRL as I know it's essential to protect his privacy, and I have changed my username in case anyone makes the connections. I could do with some mumsnet wisdom and support! I have never felt such a sense of achievement over a bit of floorspace 3ft x 4ft, but equally the enormity of the task hit me.

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The author - writing under the pseudonym EatingTheElephantInChunks - claims and owns the copyright of all her posts dated on and after 14th August 2018 as her intellectual property and as a moral right and which are all her own individual and original work. Reproduction in whole or part or any other use is strictly prohibited without her prior written permission.

[Edited by MNHQ at posters request]

Urgh. What a noble and brave Elephant you are. Imagine how much you have cut through to make it all the way from the front door to the moth corner from hell.

Freestanding unit, you say. Any chance you could take it outside before your next battle? Fresh air might make it a little less awful.

Ugh. Moths are such creepy critters. At least they die easily. I have found just spray out any normal kitchen cleaning spray at insects and it drops them.
Speaks someone who forgot about some potatoes in a boiling flat and had a fruit fly infestation happen.
Similar situation but with rotten beer at the workplace. Got rid of them the same way.

Hello again everyone and thank you to Paws, Pash, Elbows and vandal.

Posted too soon! Continued...
I won't rule out a bonfire, Paws and Pash! It depends on what happens with the drawer. If I can't get it open I don't think I could leave the unit in the kitchen as a likely source of ongoing moth infestations. My plan is to take the other drawer out and clean in and around that. Apart from a quick tentative peek and vacuum, I haven't dealt with that yet as I had had enough by that point and ran screaming for the gin bottle. It looked more spider heaven than more moth hell and has cutlery in it. I can save that as it will be easy to clean and sanitise with crockery and pans, but the - wicker - cutlery tray will definitely have to go! It's the back door I'm working from, Elbows. Your idea to take the unit outside is a good one. I can't get it out just yet on my own, but I should be able to once a bit more floor space is cleared from there and round to the back door. It shouldn't be too heavy, nearly empty with one drawer out. I think I might leave that second drawer till then.

Two questions for you all, please, if you know or have the time and inclination to look into it: just how can such a probably moth cocoon-stuck drawer be persuaded to open and can such a horror of a unit ever be completely infestation-free and used again; will ordinary kitchen spray do the job like vandal found with fruit flies, do I need to use a treatment of some kind or should it be - new verb - bonfired?

I had forgotten about dear Nora, Pash. Thanks for reminding me of that wielded sweeping broom and wrinkled stockings.

I should think the drawer is water damaged warped it's not likely salvageable

I found a post that suggested putting a lit old style light bulb in the drawer if you can get it open at all to warm it up and then maybe it will contract and you can move it. So given that's easier said than done perhaps aim a blower heater into the cupboard below for an hour or so and see if that warms it enough, or try blasting some WD40 down the edges!

Thanks, vandal and Pash. I've now taken out, emptied and vacuumed the first drawer today. Some cutlery and so on and appliance instructions saved, but the rest thrown away or into recycling. There were some moth cocoons, including where the drawer slides in and out - not many, thankfully. Looking at that and at the dreaded second drawer more closely and joking aside - I really am fairly convinced that many cocoons in layers are sticking and jamming it shut, rather than damp or warping.

I'm wiggling it - just a little bit - every time I go past and it is loosening slightly.

Such progress Ele.

I once asked a pest control guy about our carpet moths. He said once the cocoons are empty the moths fly away, so there is nothing left behind that needs any treatment. I think a good scrub with soap and water should do the job, maybe get a toothbrush into the corners. The worry I suppose is whether there's a new generation of viable eggs lurking there, but I'd have thought you'd see them and could tackle them with normal cleaners. Whereas I'd be nervous of storing cutlery close to noxious moth spray.

WD40 might help with working the drawer loose.

@Pashazade

I found a post that suggested putting a lit old style light bulb in the drawer if you can get it open at all to warm it up and then maybe it will contract and you can move it. So given that's easier said than done perhaps aim a blower heater into the cupboard below for an hour or so and see if that warms it enough, or try blasting some WD40 down the edges!

I wouldn't aim any sort of blower into it-you'd probably get a tornado of dead moth bits in your face.

Thanks Elbows and sue. Luckily I don't think the cupboard needs heat, sue, and yes, I've had enough dead moth parts near me to last me a lifetime! I agree I don't really want to use strong chemicals but that's what concerns me, Elbows, whether any eggs could be lurking in any nooks and crannies - I'm not even sure what they look like - is it the grey or black specks? I think you and Pash might be onto something with the WD40.

Another small chunk of progress today after the first drawer. I worked my way right down to floor level in front of the last bit of the unit which must not be named and then carried on along in the next section, although I didn't quite reach floor level there yet. Very little saved again - a handful of paperwork, a few curtain hooks, a cat bed pristine inside a tied carrier bag and rather excitingly a new packet of much needed rubber gloves for me! - with several more bags of rubbish and recycling and some former food for compost.

I've realised that I've missed out a couple of days' chunks but I'll post about that later or probably tomorrow as I'm done in and need to eat.

Take care everyone.

Hi there Elephant. I spent all afternoon and evening reading your story yesterday, until I finally had to sleep at 10.30. I was sure at the beginning it was going to turn into one of those threads where the first few pages are really interesting then the OP never comes back and the remaining pages are people saying "something similar is happening to me, any help?" or, "I know it has been several years OP but any updates?" or, replying and not realising it was a zombie thread as mum's et threads are wont to do. But nope! You've stuck to the thread like you've stuck to your project! It has been an amazing read. Elephant, you are a phenomenonal writer. Not only can you string beautiful prose together but your positive and enduring spirit shines through all of it. When your spirit was flagging in the most recent few pages of this thread the change in tone was only slight (anyone who only read those pages would still think you were such a positive person) but I could feel the difference like a dagger. I really hope you're all right.

I really think you should take a crack at writing children's books. You have that whimsical but calm positiveness of a modern day Enid Blyton. And you seem to be the real-life embodiment of Mr. Pinkwhistle - patient, kind, believing in the good of every person, being truly happy when you see them succeed like you knew they would.

Do you ever wonder what happens to people who had innate talent at the violin or the piano but who never get lessons as children and their prodigy is never realised? Don't be like that but for writing!

Honestly Elephant I think you must be the very best person on mumset. Keep in chunking on and I hope karma rewards you one day with several lotto wins.

Two or maybe three more modest chunks of progress to report in between, having missed them from my updates. I haven't started under the table yet, needing a change not least for my back from being crouched down so much.

The first chunk was two large bags and a decomposing damp box full from in front of the sink unit, which were mostly things for or from the car. Maps and so on were too damp to save, but does anyone know if de-icer and anti-freeze go 'off'? Some other practical or sentimental items too - some I could save, some not. Another bag of rubbish and recycling, with two small bags to save. It also means that the sink unit cupboards can be opened now. I'm thinking that nothing can be as bad as the Moth Unit, especially as there shouldn't be food stuffs in there, but if you hear any screams....

Posted too soon. Continued...

The second and third chunks - I'm going to be greedy and count them as two chunks eaten, forgive me! - involve the back door. I had already cleared and cleaned the area in front of the door previously, as some might remember, but not dealt with everything hanging up on it and the door itself. It is an old, wide, wooden original door, with several large hooks on the back at various levels. I noticed that 'something' was unfortunately dripping onto the floor from it and so it needed urgent - if somewhat reluctant! - attention.

Having unloaded everything hanging up and putting it all to one side in a cowardly fashion, I could see what a poor state the back of the door and adjoining internal wall were in with damp and black mould. This had been hidden and must have been caused by the damp walls and floor issue, and also condensation and the lack of air circulation to the covered door over many winters. It gets very cold out at the back of the house and I have seen ice last in that area for weeks. Despite my dislike for strong chemicals, there was nothing for it but to bring on the big guns. I needed to kill everything on the back of the door and wall - it was time for a certain disinfectant popular on Mumsnet, with a few squirts of washing up liquid, the mop bucket and a pan scrubber. I looked like I was dressed for chemical warfare. It took a lot of elbow grease again and changes of water. Once it had dried, I finished off by hanging a lantern and umbrella on the hooks, together with a couple of more decorative items I'd saved. It looks and smells far better and is a much more welcoming entrance and exit for my friend now. I have got a new door mat but thought it best not to put it down until all the kitchen floor is cleared and clean.

And finally..

I'm even posting in chunks today.

The third chunk was, of course, everything that had been hanging up on the back door. There was nothing to save or possible to save - with the exception of some firelighters and miraculously still dry matches, all sealed and tied up in a carrier bag - and the dripping was former fruit or vegetables - it really was impossible to tell.

Oh lord dripping manky veg! .
I'm pretty sure anti freeze etc won't go off, it's made of such hideous chemicals, so probably safe to keep.
That door will be a lovely thing now, I'm interested in Fung Shui and it's very important in that for entrances to be clear and clean, I think it makes a big psychological difference whether you believe in the idea or not! Also there's a belief that it can affect the energy that flows into the home, so a clear calm space promotes good things!

A warm welcome to the thread and thank you for your incredibly kind words, Kanga. I'm not sure I deserve them, but I really appreciate them and there might be something in my eye after reading.

Hello again, Pash and thank you. I know, and it certainly wasn't any - possibly once carrot - juice you'd want to drink. The improved door certainly makes me smile when I see it and I hope it is having the same result or more for my friend. I noticed he had hung his coat on a hook, something he won't have been able to do for years. The front door is another matter entirely, but I'd better not even think about those many, many chunks for now. It's funny you mentioning Feng Shui. I haven't heard it mentioned for years or thought about it really, but one of the things I had found and put on a hook behind the door just happens to be the Chinese symbol for love.

That'll teach me for trying to write a longish update all at once - lost it again with only the eternally turning circle when I tried to post. This frustrated and slightly infuriated elephant will have to return later. Is it too early for ?

Try again: I managed another chunk later on Wednesday, with several more bags of rubbish and recycling gone and very little kept. The details are a little hazy now as, with pressing matters at home to deal with, I had to take two days off from helping my friend. Just more of the same really - working along from The Unit. The floor is now completely clear to level with the end of the table and I'm nearing floor level just ahead of that.

Yesterday I returned to the other side of the room and did a chunk carrying on along from the sink unit and ending level with the end of that side of the kitchen table. After I had finished, I looked at the relatively tiny floorspace I had cleared and I looked at the pile of seven or so bags of rubbish, two of recycling, one small one of food and one bag to keep - and it did not seem to equate! For some reason it took me right back to my beginnings and my first post about it when I had been incredulous, quite shocked and slightly worried that it had taken so long and been such hard work to clear a small amount of floor space in the bathroom. I really didn't know what was ahead and how long it would take or the highs and lows awaiting me. I had to deal with some bags of real sadness yesterday and, although I did my best, did what I had to do and fought the feelings, it left me feeling quite churned up. I had to leave one pile of stuff in the end because I realised I'd stopped thinking clearly enough to make the right decisions about it, so I put it all in a bag to tackle another day.

On a positive note - trumpets - yesterday's chunk means that the kitchen floor is completely clear in a horse shoe shape around the table.

I think my plan is to tackle underneath the kitchen table next. At that point I will probably then vacuum and wash - no doubt repeatedly - the floor under there and the clear horse shoe of floor around it right up to the units, dresser and hearth and leave it clear for a while to dry out. Of course there is still inside the sink unit, alcove built in cupboard, fireplace opening and hearth, alcove boxes, dresser, and final moth unit drawer to do in that part of the kitchen. I think the priority now though is to get the rest of the kitchen floor clear down to floor level and cleaned - this is the area from the end of the table, extending along to the internal kitchen door, in front of the freezer, cooker and fridge and along towards the back door. I have got it not too far from floor level and a strip of it has been repeatedly walked on so will be very compacted there. One problem will be that my friend won't be able to access the kitchen and outside easily or at all while I do it, so I need to plan so that he can still get food and drinks during that time. I am trying not to think that progress in that area will mean that I finally have to deal with - dramatic three note music - the inside of the dreaded appliances.

I am hoping to get a bit more done today but it will depend on the weather and things at home. Take care everyone, whatever you are doing

Good to hear from you Ele, sounds like steady progress. Hugs for the hard bits. Just a thought once the hearth is accessible, it may be worth getting the chimney swept especially if it isn't capped, it will certainly help with airflow. As they wouldn't have to access the rest of the house your friend might be agreeable to that? Costs around £60 down here, assuming nothing complicated occurs.
Hope today is dry and successful. 🐘🐘

Thanks, Pash. It's funny you should mention the sweep. I was looking at the fireplace yesterday. Some of the hearth is flaking off in layers so it looks like the damp has got to it. The grate has a huge mound of soot in it to the extent of the opening being almost full, so it looks like a few falls - or one big one - have happened in recent years. I'm hoping there are no departed birds mixed in but it seems unlikely as there are cages on the working chimney pots, apparently after very troublesome nests years ago. The ones that weren't in use were capped. The kitchen fireplace was in regular use and it would be good for it to be ready for this Autumn and Winter. There is quite a lot of airflow from draughty doors and windows (!) but you're right - the chimney does need sweeping and especially before it is used. Yes, I think once I've more or less finished in the kitchen, my friend will be happy for the sweep to come as long as he can shut off - probably lock off! - the internal door and just tell them he's renovating and decorating. The thought of a fire glowing cosily in there in a few months is a very nice one.

The more you talk about this house the more it sounds as though it is going to be lovely when it is done. A cosy fire in the kitchen sounds so comforting.

Yesterday was another trumpeting day.

Firstly I cleared under most of the kitchen table. I say most because it soon became apparent that if I cleared right up to the end, then a mound adjoining the end of the table would collapse. So I cleared as far as I could without causing a minor avalanche, which was probably about eighty percent. A bag or two of sadness and reminders to deal with again. Very little could be saved even as recycling as it was just too damp, and so I ended up with mainly bags of rubbish.

Next I vacuumed under the table and the horse shoe of kitchen floor around it I had previously cleared. Poor old Henry. I did feel quite sorry for him as we laboured away. He ended up with a thick layer of Lord knows what lining the inside of his nozzle and bits of stone rattling up his hose. Underneath the table was a spider graveyard with many webs and a few live ones. I vacuumed away as many as I could reach with the hose. I didn't fancy crawling right underneath - even with a tea towel protecting my hair in a less than fetching fashion, having forgotten my scarf - until the very damp floor had been cleaned.

Lastly, out came the mop and bucket, with the first, second and third of many changes of water, washing up liquid and killer disinfectant, ending up looking like coal miners' bath water. I even mopped the fronts of the two painted units to get the worst off.

I still need to do the underside of the table properly and the table legs, and blinkers are definitely needed for everything around it that's still to do, but the floor underneath the table and the horse shoe around it now looks and smells a whole lot better and fresher. After all those years, it can be walked on and is fit to walk on - even in socks, not just wellies.

My back, on the other hand, is not so good today after all that crouching, shovelling, carrying, vacuuming and mopping. I even managed to stand up quickly while mopping, not realising I was half way under the table, giving my back a hard thwack on the table side - it hurts in a line this morning and suspect I have a big bruise.