Please will you kindly support and advise me, as I try to help a friend sort out his home?

[EatingTheElephantInChunks]

Yesterday I started to try to help a friend sort out his home. If I tell you that it took me nearly 3 hours to clear a space on the bathroom floor about 3ft x 4ft, you will probably understand how things are. Today I did a little better. In about 2 hours I cleared another space the same size, which meant I could open a cupboard. Two shelves were almost empty, so I was able to clean those and use them for storage. I will carry on next time with the other 2 shelves and continue clearing the bathroom floor.

It was very satisfying to get rid of a whole binbag of rubbish yesterday and a half bag today, plus a bag and a half of recycling, and a small bag of confidential waste to shred. There is a folding storage crate of things to keep so far, but I'll go through that again to see if I've missed anything that should be thrown out or recycled.

My friend has got into this situation after many years of serious illness and close bereavements, has no family left and few friends, certainly not really close ones. He has been at the stage for several years where he doesn't have visitors. He needs many repairs and much decorating doing, and is getting to the stage where carers visiting would be helpful. I am hoping to get him to the stage where that will be possible. He is such a nice guy, and it's a shame that life has gradually got smaller and smaller for him over the years. It must be terribly lonely.

I feel honoured that he has trusted me with the truth of how things are. I can't talk to anyone IRL as I know it's essential to protect his privacy, and I have changed my username in case anyone makes the connections. I could do with some mumsnet wisdom and support! I have never felt such a sense of achievement over a bit of floorspace 3ft x 4ft, but equally the enormity of the task hit me.

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The author - writing under the pseudonym EatingTheElephantInChunks - claims and owns the copyright of all her posts dated on and after 14th August 2018 as her intellectual property and as a moral right and which are all her own individual and original work. Reproduction in whole or part or any other use is strictly prohibited without her prior written permission.

[Edited by MNHQ at posters request]

Oh oww Ele I feel your pain! Hope it doesn't linger.
If your friend is intending to use the fireplace then definitely it must be swept as not having a recent certificate from the chimney sweep could potentially invalidate house insurance should there be a fire. My sweep has said we could skip a year as ours is always clean as we don't use the fire much but I'm paranoid about giving the insurance an excuse not to pay up should something awful happen!
I'm sure you rocked the emergency tea towel on head look.

As far as head coverings go, would a shower cap be useful?

Ellie you’re a star ⭐️

I’ll catch up properly tomorrow, sending you much thanks for your continual support for both your friend and us followers. I’ve started dechunking slowly thanks to you!

Sending you 🐘🐘

Hello again everyone and thanks to Chem, Pash, sue and Beery.

It's characterful, Chem. I remember sitting by two of the fires years ago and yes, it was cosy and lovely. It would or will take a lot of work to get it all functioning again, let alone all singing and dancing. My friend wouldn't want it to be 'gentrified' anyway, but it's very gradually becoming more like a home again. It's always been a home, of course, I don't mean that it hasn't, but you will get what I mean, I think?

I didn't know that about a sweep certificate and insurance, Pash and it's relevant to me too. As for the back - it's still hurting. Must be getting old. As for rocking the emergency tea towel - very funny!

Speaking of very funny - your post also made me laugh, sue. I don't know if you intended it to, as a shower cap is a very practical idea, but it was reading it on top of Pash's tea towel comment I think! I imagined myself chunking away - and I will let you all imagine me - with a tea towel on my head with a shower cap on top of that. Oh, the glamour.

So lovely to hear from you again, Beery, and to know that you are making progress of your own. It doesn't matter if it's slow - long may it continue. The support I've received from this thread means an awful lot to me, and it also means an awful lot to know that it might be helping someone else in some small way - it's an honour, in fact. No thanks necessary. on the other hand....

Time too for a quick update. Unless I'm getting my days confused - which is entirely possible - I had an enforced break Monday to Wednesday. I had something I had to deal with at home and I don't think it did my back any harm to have a break from chunking either. I have been back at it yesterday and today. I'm waiting for some news and feeling quite stressed about that. Helping my friend has provided something positive to concentrate on and a distraction from dwelling on things - so helping someone really doesn't always only work one way, does it?

Yesterday I did the next chunk on from the cleared and cleaned chunk by the back door. It went in a strip from the side of the kitchen table and dishwasher to the - dreaded - fridge. I'm not sure how long it had been like it but would guess, from receipts and use by dates, about seven years and to the present day. Some of it was piled up - although not high - and some of it was compacted from being walked on. Some sadness again in having to dispose of things like books because they were so damaged by damp and insects. It was the inscriptions and names occasionally still visible and the thought of how much they were once loved by the owners, whether bought as gifts or found like treasure on a charity stall. Floor level was quite hard - like sludge - a mixture of food, newspapers, plastic bags and a couple of litres of fluid had leaked at some point. It was cleaning liquid - oh, the irony! - and it certainly didn't make it any cleaner! Now for the positives though: beachcombing treasures rescued - if anyone has any ideas for using or displaying large amounts of pebbles, shells, driftwood and sea glass? - another lovely bit of original floor to walk on after numerous moppings, and - trumpets! - £2.50 for The Gin Fund.

Could you make a collage in a frame by sticking the shells etc to the backing?

Update continued:

Today I started on the next area along from yesterday's chunk - between the end of the kitchen table and the cooker and - dreaded - freezer. I concentrated on the small strip of a chunk right at the end of the table. This was the medium mountain which would have avalanched had I cleared right to the end under the table the other day. Again I found a complete mixture of things, from the present day and going back around eight years. It was hard going at times again too, from the gifts bought with love and thought but never given and now only fit for the rubbish bag, to glass that had been unknowingly trodden on and broken at some point, to sludgy conditions at floor level from once-food, insects and damp. A bit like The Moth Unit, it was pretty unpleasant. I ran out of time here and had to spray the floor with disinfectant and cover it with cardboard, without the satisfaction of ending with clean floor that could be walked on again at last - but next time, hopefully. A negative turned into a positive in that, dealing with a bag of broken glass, former food and insects, I found an envelope, thankfully in a tied plastic bag, with a long-forgotten £100 for my friend...and - trumpets! - another pound coin for The Gin Fund. Speaking of which, it's way, way past my gin time. Better dash. Take good care everyone.

Hey Ele sounds like steady progress still. Excellent find on the money front for your friend! Sounds like the gin fund is doing ok too. Hope the news you were waiting on was positive in the end, sometimes distractions are much needed and cleaning a friend's kitchen is better than just eating all the chocolate!
Another suggestion for the shells, some kind of indoor rockery.....or add to an outdoor one? A lot of ours have ended up decorating the large plant pot by our front door which looks quite pretty.
Are your tetanus shots up to date? That glass sounds unpleasant, have you got some thick gloves instead of rubber gloves that you can dispose of after?
🐘

Long time lurker here- saw this on clearance and thought of you, OP:
www.diy.com/departments/blyss-0-3l-dehumidifier/3663602459255_BQ.prd

Speaking from my minimal dehumidifier experience: they are game changers! Depending on how much water they can hold & how damp it is, they will need emptying once a day or maybe more.
They make a quiet hum, I don’t know whether that would bother your friend. I looked for mine on line but don’t think they make it any more, but this one looks pretty close.
Your recent find of £100 would probably cover most of it even if you got a pricier one and then you’d have someone on your side helping you work! (Because I suspect your readers would need to name it)

Hello and welcome, Allotment. Thank you very much for delurking and for the dehumidifier information and link.

I had a look and the clearance price is enticing! At first I thought the colour would be intrusive and something white would blend in better and be easier on the eye, but actually, being black and yellow, it would be a bit like having a giant bee buzzing away in the house, working in your favour! That would be your name then, something bee related! I don't think the noise would bother my friend - or his cat/future dog? - as long as it is a quiet buzz/hum and doesn't sound like an angry wasp! A daily empty should be achievable but I'm not certain about more often than that. Unfortunately that one isn't available for delivery - which would be needed ideally with my back issue and also living quite far from big stores - or even click and collect or checking whether in stock. I might have to look elsewhere as I'm persuaded one would be a very good idea, especially before winter. I'm not sure what the going rate for dehumidifiers is, what capacity would be needed or what are the best and quiet makes and models. I will try and see if @ElGuardiandenoche would like to come back on this too please - or anyone else?

A PS about dehumidifiers - the capacity is confusing me, if anyone can explain please? For example, the one linked to is called a 21L but in the description it mentions 3.5L tank, another is called a 0.3L but mentions 1L and 10L in the description, a review for one called a 14L says the tank is only 2.5L - and so on. One that shuts off automatically when the tank is full would be best. Also, one that deals with frost because the house gets very cold in winter. Thanks again in anticipation of some bright sparks coming along.

Thank you, sue and Pash for your good ideas about the beachcombing finds. They would look lovely on the big hearth that is flaking anyway, but it is probably best to let that dry out and breathe. They would also be a dust, soot and spider magnet there and, except in summer, need moving to use the fire. There is an awful lot, some will possibly be broken by now and need thinning out a bit, keeping the best. I have put a mixed handful on the windowsill for now and packed the rest away in bags outdoors - that is probably a far less urgent project for later on but it is good to have nice ideas to think about as I work.

Still waiting on the news, Pash, and not sure how long for. Fear not, also eating chocolate...and cake, and the kettle is on speed dial/boil for many cups of tea. Family pizza and football night last night provided a few hours of distraction too. It would help a bit if I wasn't also feeling irritated by numerous midge bites - the perils of evenings working outdoors - and bothered by my back. I finally looked last night and the table thwack bruise is indeed still dark, big and sore, nearly a week later. I escaped unscathed with the glass, luckily. Those thick gloves would have been a good idea though, especially with all the shards and splinters. I've been using those very heavy duty rubber gloves because of the wet, damp and dirty conditions rather than the cloth ones - I probably need both. Thank you for your kind words.

I would avoid any open displays of beachcombing finds as you are absolutely right, they'll be a dust trap.

I'd suggest either:

• an outdoor use (scattered around plants in a border or pots, for example, would look lovely)

• displaying in wideneck clear jars with lids, so only the jar itself will need dusting (maybe kilner, or ikea did have some with cork lids although not sure if still in stock - also worth check freecycle / local eco community Facebook groups, as you might get lucky there).

The dehumidifiers are rated by water collected per day, I think. So a 21 litre one could collect 21 litres a day, but if the tank is, say, 3 litres, it would need emptying 7 times. I have one , mostly for drying washing, I think it could probably do 10 litres a day in very damp conditions. Mine can run with a pipe to an outside drain. 21 litres seems huge for domestic use, which means no emptying. You can hire big ones at any tool hire place, so you could get one for a week to dry out the kitchen then consider buying a small one to keep things dry. It’s a good thing to have in an old house, in general, especially if you dry clothes inside.

I’ve re-read your post. They should cut off when the tank is full. Domestic ones have a side effect of producing heat while they extract water so cold weather isn’t an issue, I don’t think.
I’ve also noticed I mangled my last post it should say:

Mine can run with a pipe to an outside drain, which means no emptying. 21 litres seems huge for domestic use.

Hello everyone and thank you Paws and Chem

I like both your ideas for the beachcombing finds, Paws - one inside and one out - and there is plenty to do both and also the earlier frame idea from sue. I think Pash suggested around the plants and pots too. My own idea - for a project long in the future, God willing! - is to use some in a mosaic for a table top, probably for the garden, and a mirror frame for the bathroom - I thought the sea glass in particular might look good.

I've been having a look online for a dehumidifier, Chem and your advice is proving really useful. I am wondering about getting one now starting with the kitchen but also whether two might be most useful in the longer term, one upstairs and one down, to be moved around to particular problem spots as I clear them - like the bathroom and two of the bedrooms upstairs and the whole of the ground floor really - and also to help with drying laundry and improving air quality given all the long term dust and damp. I'm not sure there is anywhere near enough to hire one and wonder if the cost would be best put to buying one but I will look into it. I don't think there is anywhere an outlet hose could easily run to in most rooms, unfortunately. I have seen some mention not working below 5 degrees and having a defrost function, so that sounds necessary in this particular house. These are the requirements, then:

• Large enough capacity for whole rooms from small to large in size, especially as most ceilings are high
• Reasonably portable
• Defrost function
• Automatic shut off when tank full
• Able to help dry laundry
• Air purification filter
• Quiet
• Tank that is easy to empty and not too often as it might only get done once a day
• Reliable, lasting, good quality
• Less than £200 ideally!

Can anyone recommend one please?

PS When I say 'less than £200 ideally', what I actually mean is as little as possible, obviously!

My dehumidifier is an Ecoair one. It has been very reliable. You want a desiccant one, they generate warm dry air which is effective for drying laundry. I can't see why low temperatures would affect them (speaking as a chemical engineer). The other type basically uses refrigeration and they might be affected by cold, I don't think they are common now. There are quite a few on the B&Q website for well below £200. We started with one damp room (where I had foolishly dried washing for a long time with too little ventilation. We ran the dehumidifier continuously for a couple of weeks, emptying it regularly. Now we just run it for laundry. It's very easy to empty, the tank just pulls out of the base and then slots back in. I think it might beep when its full, but we never hear it because its in another room!
I would suggest that if you got two, you could use both in the kitchen at first, where it is very damp, then move one to a central point in the house and see how it goes. The more often you empty it the faster the drying out will go, obviously. Some have humidity sensors so they turn on when they detect damp, that might be useful.
When you are either drying out a room or drying laundry its important to close doors and windows, otherwise you are trying to dry the whole world, which won't draw out the damp. Don't have a source of water available, so in a bathroom make sure the toilet lid is down.

Update:

What with one thing and another and the heavy rain and storms, progress on chunking the kitchen ground to an unwelcome halt over the past few days. Instead, I have used the time to make progress on another important issue for my friend, and the space already cleared in the kitchen allowed me to do that. If I say that there is now - trumpets! - quite a lot of laundry hopefully drying on the line and kitchen airer, you might realise that there is now an actual - trumpets! - working washing machine. It's not ideal and it's not the final, long term permanent solution I am aiming for, but it really is another positive step forward, I think.

My friend had mentioned wanting a second washing machine for pet bedding and so on in the future - possibly a smaller, portable one to keep in an outbuilding. Pet hair and fur is a nuisance to clear from a washing machine also used by humans, most laundrettes don't allow pet bedding and coats either and specialist laundry services are often more expensive to use. It's not possible to replace the current automatic washing machine and have a similar plumbed in - but working - one at the moment. I thought, in the meantime, he could use one eventually intended for pets and so he is now the proud owner of a twin tub! They are much more lightweight and portable than the twin tubs of old. It fits fine next to the sink for now, and on it's maiden voyage to make sure it all worked ok, I was able to move it along easily to plug it in, and fill and empty it, which for now, has to be done using the hosepipe and mop bucket. No, it's not the open the door, throw it in and forget it for a couple of hours, type of washing most of us are used to these days. But at the end of the day - I am a pragmatist, or trying to be - my friend can have clean laundry, at home, without at best taking it to a laundrette and at worst - usually, during the past year of lockdowns, restrictions and concerns - going without or relying on me to take him a few essentials.

It is something many of us take for granted, but to see the washing filling up the line was a heart-warming sight. My friend shook his head and said he couldn't 'quite believe it after all this time'. So that's also why the dehumidifier will be even more useful - especially with all this rain, it will now have laundry to help dry! I hope to get back on now with the chunking, but as well as a dehumidifier, if anyone can tell me which washing powder or liquid works best in cold water and is available in the UK, that would be a help please too. Take care everyone - I hope you're all doing ok or even better?

If you have the time to stand and do laundry a twin tub will get through loads much quicker than an automatic. For washing pet bedding you can buy special bags which keep the hair in. I haven't used them (which means I have cleaned the filters of my washing machine quite often) but I have seen them recommended on MN.
You can buy detergent specifically for cold washes:
www.amazon.co.uk/Tide-Coldwater-Liquid-Laundry-Detergent/dp/B00MUEFAWC?tag=mumsnetforu03-21 amazon link, but I'm sure you can get it elsewhere if that is a problem.

As a pet owner I highly recommend a pet laundry bag - I think mine was around £15 on Amazon. It stops any fur etc getting into the machine & I just shake out the floof outside once its dry.

I have a Meaco dehumidifier, I love it! (Live in a flat with no outside drying space and no tumble dryer).

The model I have is quite small (12l), I think the bucket size is about 1.5l. You can set the humidity level and it will switch itself on/off, or just set to run constantly. It shuts off when the water needs emptying, or it could be plumbed in.

It blows slightly warm air, so often in winter it is sufficient to keep a room warm (but I don't have a damp house with high ceilings )

Hello everyone and thank you to Chem, Paws and Foof

That is really useful again about dehumidifiers, Chem. Obviously I don't want to get a big-ish purchase wrong, it not do a proper job now and in the years ahead and waste the money. I feel like you should have been pointing out the obvious with your 'don't dry the world' but I'm grateful for it because it was an 'of course - they work like air con units!' moment and without it I - or my friend - would possibly have opened doors and windows 'to help.'

A warm welcome - unless you have name changed of course and posted on here before! - to Foof. That's also really useful about dehumidifiers. A poster on another thread recommended a Meaco too for drying laundry but that was only 8L, and yours is 12L. Any extra warm air in the winter would certainly be welcome! I think Chem's Ecoair is 10L. Perhaps the 21L Ebac one kindly linked to by Allotment is too much then, like Chem thought, and looking closely it is described as 'professional' - but it was a real bargain at the clearance price. I have an image in my head of a little humidifier feeling overwhelmed by the job here, and running screaming for the hills on its little casters, but perhaps I am over-identifying.

I think what is important for you is the size of the tank in the dehumidifier. If you think it will only be emptied once a day then it doesn’t matter if it’s capable of producing 10 litres or 30 litres a day, you will only get 1 tank full. If we are anthropomorphising, then faced with a damp room your dehumidifier will be saying “yeah! This is super easy!”, while when it is drier it will be working harder to get the water out.