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Remote cottage holiday difficult with child and husband's health needs

176 replies

Omgheslikethat · 01/08/2026 14:58

Looking for some ideas to navigate what is a difficult holiday experience.
We have rented an absolutely beautiful cottage for 2 weeks. However its very remote, not in a village, no footpaths on roadside and no public transport.
It would be perfect for a couple who just wanted a peaceful time.

DH suffers from some complicated health issues also MH issues and a short temper.
We have a young child who is a restless sleeper, though I don't hear him particularly.
This is causing my ailing husband to be short tempered and not want to get moving until late morning, early afternoon. By this time child is restless and silly, often naps in the car. We are at least 30mins drive from nearest attraction, and it seems pointless spending ££ on adventure theme parks entrance for max 2 hours which child might or might not enjoy. No child safe beaches nearby, just a couple of parks about 20mins away.

I'm not allowed to go out in the car without DH, and he always drives, so basically we are stuck waiting for DH to gee up, or like today he's gone to bed in a huff so we are just left hanging with nothing to do.

I suggested today we do x, which would be free except for the drive but DH lagged behind so much we didnt get out by 2pm and it closes at 4.30, so I suggested something else but that was not to his liking and he said I was being confusing by changing my mind.
He has executive function issues..

Shopping is a nightmare as nearest shops 20 mins drive away and no option for delivery. Try to buy 2 or 3 days worth of food but finding we either run out or fancy something different. We often self cater and its usually worked ok before, but I've had option of delivery or walking to shop.

Doesn't seem like the relaxing holiday I hoped for. I let DH book it because he briefly showed it to me, said it was near a town I vaguely know and liked.

On top, I've been feeling poorly with a virus.
Not really looking for solutions although useful ideas to reframe positively might help.

OP posts:
Velvian · 01/08/2026 15:01

You need to take your child out early enough to do something nice with them. DH will have only just got himself organised by the time you get back. Your child comes first.

What is this nonsense about not being allowed to go out without DH?

Bananacrepewithnuts · 01/08/2026 15:06

This is not a holiday for you or your child.
Don't book this type of holiday again. If you were in a hotel or even a caravan park you and your child can get up and crack on.

This situation isn't fair on anyone.

You will have to ignore the instruction of not to drive and sort yourself out early tomorrow.

X

LIZS · 01/08/2026 15:08

You've got two weeks of this? Why can you not go out without him? Is he capable of watching your dc while you go to the shop, are there any farm shops nearer? Is anything within walking distance? How old is dc?

bozzabollix · 01/08/2026 15:11

Why can’t you go out in the car without him? That’s immensely unreasonable. Presumably it’s some male bullshit about you not being able to drive as well?

I could not cope with the situation you are describing without absolutely blowing my top too!!!

Honestly going home is better than that.

HarpieDuJour · 01/08/2026 15:18

What would happen if you just took your child and went out for the day? Is it an insurance problem with you driving, or a permission problem?
If you really can't just go out without him, can you think if fun games to play together instead? Very young children are often mucheasier to amuse than older ones, and don't care about expensive amusements.
You can't do anything about your husband for now, but you can try to salvage something for yourself and your child. Would it be possible to go out early and be back around lunchtime?

OneNewLeader · 01/08/2026 15:19

Not allowed to put your young child first and have the holiday you both need. Might be good to question all the decisions you’ve made that have led to 2 weeks in a completely unsuitable cottage that’s allegedly a holiday. A holiday from what?

bozzabollix · 01/08/2026 15:20

HarpieDuJour · 01/08/2026 15:18

What would happen if you just took your child and went out for the day? Is it an insurance problem with you driving, or a permission problem?
If you really can't just go out without him, can you think if fun games to play together instead? Very young children are often mucheasier to amuse than older ones, and don't care about expensive amusements.
You can't do anything about your husband for now, but you can try to salvage something for yourself and your child. Would it be possible to go out early and be back around lunchtime?

If it is insurance, you can quickly organise hourly or daily temporary insurance on a car. Very cheap. Or get your ‘darling’ husband to simply add you to the main insurance. It takes a phone call.

Latenightreader · 01/08/2026 15:22

When you say not allowed to drive, what do you mean - he doesn't permit you to drive? You don't have a licence? You are not insured on the car? If you can legally drive the car get yourself and your child ready and go out early.

Who chose the location? It all sounds horribly controlling and claustrophobic. Is it this bad at home?

Besidemyselfwithworry · 01/08/2026 15:22

@Omgheslikethat

im reading this thinking a poorly chosen holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere is the least of your problems here!

Whatbloodysummer · 01/08/2026 15:23

Seriously?

Your DH really expects you and DC to wait 3/4 of the day, doing nothing, because you're forbidden to use the car and he's effectively stranded you in the middle of no-where?

Just NO !

If he can't get his arse up and organised until 2pm, then you and DC just need to take the bloody car and go out!

If DH doesn't like it? Tough shit! It's a holiday for all 3 of you, so why the hell is it that 2 of you don't get to do anything or go anywhere because 1 of you can't get his arse into gear????

You have a serious H problem, as he's a selfish, inconsiderate prick who expects you and DC to dance to his bloody tune with zero regard for your wants/needs/wishes!

Either lay down the law about taking the car, or get a bloody divorce, because they are the only 2 options you have if you want to change your life...

stayathomegardener · 01/08/2026 15:24

Oh you poor thing, your husband sounds horrible. Health difficulties mental or physical don’t have to equate to being bad tempered.

If he wasn’t being so obstructive all these inconveniences would be minor.

Quite honestly I would go home.

pikkumyy77 · 01/08/2026 15:24

Go home. “i have mental health issues that make me behave like a selfish, angry, bastard “ is not a real diagnosis and should not be treated as such.

Just call a driver to pick you up, pack your things, snd take your child home where you can be comfortable.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 01/08/2026 15:24

Who booked this ridiculous accommodation? Surely it was clear that it was unsuitable on booking? If it wasnt, then take it up.with the booking company. Irregardless, id give it up.as a bad job and go home. Is anyone having fun? And why can't you drive alone?

Owly11 · 01/08/2026 15:26

Huh? What do you mean you are 'not allowed' to go out with dh? Just get up and out first thing with the little one and come back for late morning when dh is up and ready to go.

Overtheatlantic · 01/08/2026 15:26

This is such a sad post to read; you need to get away from your awful husband and have a long think about what you need to do to raise your child in a healthy environment. In the meantime can you get a few games to play in the garden?

RubyPowderPuff · 01/08/2026 15:29

Didn't you check out the location before booking???
And why are you not allowed to drive?
How old is the child? If it's very rural & area with lots of walks could you just take them out in the cat to an interesting walk. Big rocks, little streams, .... then come back when 'D'H is ready.

EatenTooMuchChocolateAgain · 01/08/2026 15:47

That’s so sad for you and your children.

Id definitely be going out in the morning with your child, give your husband time to sort himself out in peace and you get out and have some fun!

Are you insured to drive? If not get some temporary cover sorted.

Can you get a Tesco / Asda food delivery? Or Deliveroo?

Order some fun board games on Amazon to arrive tomorrow?

Order earplugs for your husband so he doesn’t hear child?

You need to make the best of a bad situation so you and your child can enjoy the holiday.

Your husband might have executive function difficulties and poor MH, but that’s zero excuse to ruin everyone’s day.

Oh and never let him book another holiday!!

Livpool · 01/08/2026 15:49

Your husband sounds awful - why are you letting him dictate everything?

Daftypants · 01/08/2026 15:56

You’re not allowed to go out in the car without him ???
only understand this if you can’t drive ?

converseandjeans · 01/08/2026 15:58

He sounds really miserable & controlling. At least on a holiday park or somewhere more central you could get up & out mid morning & head out again once DH was up and about. Can you just go home?

Yello24 · 01/08/2026 16:04

What is he actually DOING until 2pm in the holiday cottage? Why does what he want take precedence over the other two people in the family?

Freeme31 · 01/08/2026 16:06

Go out with child early and be back by 1ish in time for him getting out of bed. He sounds incredibly selfish but your also enabling his behaviour (i mean that kindly what would he do if you went out early and came back? Be crabby - but he is anyway) so grow a pair and be a better example to your child put him/her first instead of your selfish husband.

Woody18 · 01/08/2026 16:09

You're looking for a useful idea?
Honestly, divorce your husband...

Mangetouts · 01/08/2026 16:09

Your DH sounds like a complete shit. So, you're expected to waste a good portion of your day, waiting while he gets his act together - and not "allowed" to take the car to do something nice in case he misses out? 🙄

What's the problem with you taking the car early, is it literally his FOMO or something else? I appreciate you're in the back of beyond just now but once you get back home you need to be firm with him. Stuff this mental health malarkey, you shouldn't be having to deal with his temper either, he's just being an arse.

Seeingadistance · 01/08/2026 16:10

When you get home, go and see a solicitor about a divorce.