CF guest has everybody dancing to her tune.

[ThisOldThang]

We're in a family self-catering holiday in a long haul exotic location.

My father-in-law is from this place and has a terminal illness. This is his 'last visit' to his home country. He's paid for the flights and accommodation for the entire UK based family to go with him.

That's a total of 8 adults and 4 kids. My brother-in-law's parents have also come, bringing it to 10 adults and four kids.

The holiday revolves around my father-in-law visiting and spending time with all his relatives. There are gatherings and meetups planned pretty much every day.

For some reason, that the rest of us can't understand, my sister-in-law has invited a friend from the gym as well. Nobody else really knows or likes her. She appears to be ND, which may explain why she didn't politely decline the invitation.

She's staying with my brother-in-law's parents in a neighbouring villa. They'd already booked and paid for their accommodation, so they were kind enough to say that she could stay there for free.

This woman is now causing problems and arguments due to her CF'ery.

She's refusing to contribute to the communal shopping 'because she doesn't eat everything that's been bought'. We've always just split the bills by family unit. The kids obviously don't drink alcohol and are pretty low maintenance in terms of food. She's also demanding the kids are counted as 'full people' for any shared costs, etc.

Is it me or should she just fuck off? She's come away on a family holiday and now thinks she gets to call the shots on how we do things. The mind boggles.

Just to add, she's taken over the en suite bathroom in the next door villa that's she's staying in for free, despite there being another bathroom that was allocated for her use.

Wtf?! Had she gone in there while they were asleep?!

She seems difficult, but you're being unreasonable to expect 1 person to pay as much as a whole family, or even half a family (of 4).

If someone told me "we have a spare room, come on holiday for free", I'd definitely contribute something extra, but would be very taken aback if I was suddenly expected to pay 4x as much towards food/drink as everyone else.

Jesus wept, my god OP how have you kept your cool. I do understand your MIL wanting to keep the peace but the batshit friend is already ruining it! Some needs to tell her to shut the fuck up!

How much are all these 'shared costs'? I wonder if they are racking up and much more than she'd usually spend herself. Just trying to look at the other side.x

Indeed. The "free accommodation" benefit will be dwindling fast if there are perhaps 3 or 4 families with children.

Ah that old dynamic. She acts like a spoiled brat when she doesn't get her way and people pander to her. Big mistake!

It's not 4x as much as everybody else. She drinks alcohol. She eats adult portions. My kids are 7 and 4. Their food costs less than her booze.

It will be a cold day in hell before I'm paying 4x as much as her when she's got free accommodation. The free accommodation was never part of the invite. She just lucked out due to the generosity of the couple that paid for the villa.

I would take her aside and tell her to buy own food and either shut the fuck up or fuck off, as she is at best a fly in the ointment in any event.

MIL
FIL

Their Daughter
Their Daughter's husband
Their Daughter's friend
1 x child

Their son no.2?
SIL
BIL's dad
BIL's mum
? x children

You
Your husband
? x children

Is this right?
Does your husband have a brother and a sister?

What does your own husband say?
What does his brother think?

This. Intervention and sit down "come to jesus" talk from the husband and siblings. Make it crystal clear that they will not fuck up this hugely important trip. Make it especially clear that cf friend needs to butt the fuck out. She has no say in how things are organised, if she doesn't agree, then off she fucks. And that goes for sil. If she tantrums, tell her to stop it. It is not about her. But, most importantly shield your DF from this drama.

..SIL is a lesbian
..thrupple
..SIL invited friend to piss off husband

Toothbrush in ensuite do what the cleaners do just rub it round the rim of the toilet bowl

I think that she is really worth ignoring, given the reason you are all there.

Someone as shameless as this can't be reasoned with.

Focus on your immediate family and FIL - given you don't want to call her out.

You can keep posting here but unless you actually address it head on, it will just ruin your time there.

But 'a friend from the gym' being invited on such a poignant and meaningful trip is the bigger question here.

Terminally ill father + mother
Daughter + husband + child (+ husband's parents in neighbouring villa)
Son + wife + child
Daughter + me (man) + 2 children
Cheeky Fucker staying in neighbouring villa for free.

Really? My four year old eats adult man sized portions of everything 😂😂😂 I can understand how someone without kids would be annoyed to pay for his food tbh

Is her free accommodation adding to your costs, or has it been covered by the couple who paid?

If you're not paying for her accommodation, then her free accommodation is completely irrelevant to the fact you want her to subsidise your children (and potentially your wife, who presumably eats adult portions too).

It may be best for both sides of she buys her own food separately.

I don’t think it’s fair for her to pay for your children’s or the other children’s food, but as you are all family and are used to splitting this way perhaps she should just pay for her own food and drink.

With free accommodation and for someone who is a cuckoo in the nest it's the absolute height of rudeness to quibble about the odd extra £10 here and there.

We're a family and just split the bills. Before we had kids we 'overpaid' when splitting bills but didn't give a shit. She's come on a family self-catering holiday and doesn't even have to pay for accommodation. She's not lifted a finger to help cook or clean.

I honestly don't care if she thinks it's unfair. She's getting an amazing deal in terms of her total costs.

@ThisOldThang How odd to protest to pay her share after being given free accommodation. But your sil is the oddest of them all inviting her in the first place.

Ah apologies. Didn't realise you were the son-in-law, OP!
What does your wife say?
What does she want you to do?

She got free accommodation but won't contribute equally towards the food etc?

absolute fucking entitled twat she is

I think the CF might have completely misunderstood what she was getting into. Perhaps imagining a completely free holiday where she could eat very cheaply. She may now be panicking about the costs that she wasn't expecting and the lack of control she has over them.
She may be feeling very indignant about being asked to split costs if she wasn't told before she left this would be happening.
Your SIL seems the really irresponsible person here.

Half a dozen adults between you and you can’t hold a frank conversation without things kicking off?

Honest to god this thread has made my jaw DROP. I have no practical suggestions. The woman is a narcissist with no self-awareness.
But you're stuck with her and your poor ill father-in-law doesn't need a ruckus going on around him. I'm gobsmacked.
And I'd never go on holiday with SIL again without laying down some very hefty ground rules way in advance.

I'm very sorry really, it must be distressing to have this important trip sabotaged in this way. I hope you all scrape through it intact. Except the CF, obviously!

There is no peace though is there? What you have is two people, SIL and CF, dictating to the rest of you, telling 6 other adults and 4 kids how they should spend their holiday. Everyone is clearly upset but none of you will challenge them both. You are all upset, while the queen bee and her sidekick are running rings around you all. Your SIL has no respect for her parents and is being cruel to her terminally ill Dad.
There are no memories being made while this is unresolved. It is only creating more tension which will probably boil over at some stage. Address it now and tell her to find her own accommodation. Please someone find their backbone.