DD anxious about starting university and already wants to come home

[meowmeowcatcat]

It's been 24 hours. Dd got her course and halls at the university she wanted. Was excited to go until 2 days before she moved in.

It's not that far from home, 1.5 hours.

She's crying and feels anxious and stressed and crying loads. Keeps saying she wants to leave and hasn't even had lectures yet.

She's always been anxious and not good with change. She's been on anti anxiety meds since April.

Worried about the pre reading.
Worried about being away from home.

I've said to give it until at least the first reading week at the end of October.

Not really sure why I am posting this. My heart hurts but I am sure she will enjoy if she gives a little time.

I thought she had to say that all was well with her DD, but can't find the post so I think that was another thread.

Apologies OP. Hope that your DD is okay.

It's tough. Probably just as bad for you, worrying at home. It's a delicate balance, because lots of students are calling home every day, which is unsettling - but you still want to know they're ok.

I'm so very old, I went to Uni in the mid-90s. No mobile, not even a phone in the flat. We had to queue up for the pay phone in the laundry rooms! I called home once a week. I was so unsettled to begin with at Uni. I had just turned 17, a couple of weeks before I went to Uni (Scotland, straight from 5th year), and I felt very out of my depth. I used to regularly cry to my Mum; but speaking to her sometimes unsettled me more! I agreed to tough it out until the first Christmas, and by then I was so much more settled, with pals, enjoying my course more, and had joined a couple of societies, playing sports, etc.

I'd be encourgaing her to go to the senior resident in her accommodation. They have a role to support new students, and also can refer/signpost to support services. Given her anxiety diagnosis, the student support team should be able to help there, also, in making sure she has access to counselling, etc.

Honestly, in my experience (25 years in HE), it's worth getting her to tough it out a bit; and hopefully it's just settling in bumps. Hope it improves for her soon.

Well, it has always been the case that having shit parents means worse outcomes most of the time.

And no one expects all teenagers to do well at the same exams, it's why we have exams rather than giving everyone the same grade.

My father was was able to break the cycle (my grandfather was a shit) by leaving home at 16 and joining the army, who gave him enough education & support to then go to university.