DD decided against applying for Oxbridge

[SinuousTendrils]

My DD has finally decided not to apply for Oxbridge. Of course i realise she had a slim chance of getting in but I'd really hoped she'd throw her hat in the ring. With the current graduate jobs market as it is, I thought she might be in with a chance of a golden ticket if she got in.
Is it really that dire out there? Would a talented high achiever really struggle to find a career after uni? I've been advising her to consider her STEM subjects rather than literature, which i think she'd enjoy more...thinking at Oxbridge humanities degrees still have currency...it's so hard, isn't it?!

Not going to Oxford was the best thing that could have happened to me.
She is bright and will thrive at another good university. Where is she looking?
I know an Oxford graduate currently unemployed. There is no golden ticket.

It’s her future. Let her decide what she wants.

Genuinely Oxbridge is not a golden ticket.

It's not for everyone either. I think she should study what she loves where she wants to.

It's her life.

I didn't apply to Oxbridge much to my school's horror, despite top grades. It wasn't right for me. Glad I stuck to my guns.

She will be fine without an Oxbridge degree. There are years until she joins the grad market.

Yeh no golden tickets from Oxford, sorry @SinuousTendrils

More than possible to graduate from there and not get a job; equally possible to graduate from, say, NTU and yes, find a great job.

Yes a degree from Oxford will never be a bad thing; but going there when you don't want to (it’s a very specific offer which doesn't suit everyone) will not end well. Similarly studying STEM when your heart is elsewhere is not a good plan IMHO.

What does she want to study and where? Please support her in that. And encourage her to gather contacts, get a PT job, aim for internships or a year in industry if possible, and do all she can to make herself attractive to employers.

@Floppyearedlab ( love the name) thank you. She just doesn't have a burning desire to go and can't see the point of applying therefore.
Warwick, Durham, Glasgow, Sheffield.
Sorry to brag but she's brilliant at everything but no burning passion for any subject, so makes it tricky for her to know what/where to go.
I'm justvtrying to provide appropriate scaffolding.

It’s her choice and all you can do is support her
As she is brilliant I am sure it will all work out

I didn't apply, I went on a weekend visit aimed at encouraging more state school students to apply and just didn't think I'd fit in. Many years later my son went on a similar trip and came to the same conclusion.

She doesn't love anything particularly. She's just very good at everything and wants to be employed afterwards.
I had the advice to 'just do what you love' which I did, but it isn't clear cut in this instance, and she's asked me for advice which I'm finding hard to give.

This is a very good mantra, thank you. I am doing my head in worrying about it, but as you say, it will all come out in the wash.

Can she take a gap year? Go travelling. Work part time. Work abroad etc broaden her horizons a bit first. It might give her some time to make sure she picks the right thing.

..thinking at Oxbridge humanities degrees still have currency

My anedotal experience....Yes and no.

I was at a modern languages dinner and one little fucker (Hi Sam 👋🏽) had a daddy
... who had a friend... who offered him a training contract for law and a summer internship paying 70k pa. He was on the fence because it would involve helping russia sue Ukraine <faints while clutching pearls> and Russia were tge bad guys....
Meanwhile 3 other poor bastards sat with us had parents with normal jobs and had interviewed anywhere that would speak to them and had bugger all lined up.

Oxbridge isnt a silver bullet.

My honest advice is get her to use the time at uni to set up her own business in any old thing she likes....

I was a bit like your dd. I refused oxbridge as i wanted to slack off... i ended up in tech and make doubled my oxbridge dh

A lot of employers recruit institution-blind now.

If she doesn’t know what she wants to do, and isn’t passionate about anything, is university right for her at the moment? Would she be better looking for some kind of professional apprenticeship?

The most adaptable graduates I’ve worked with have been humanities / social sciences grads.

@fashionqueen0123 yes, good advice. I've suggested this too. Might be just the thing to focus her mind and have a good time too.

Definitely a gap year then.

She can't let mum choose her degree/ career path.

There lies the problem people are blinded by the name and think it is the answer to eveything, if someone thinks that is a good idea they are wrong

Your DD should hold off applying to uni until she knows what she wants to study. She can stack shelves and wait on tables until then.

The biggest mistake of my life was going to uni before I knew what I wanted to do. I flunked out of my first attempt to get a degree during the second year.

Agree re: gap year - if she can’t even narrow it down to STEM vs humanities (what A levels is she doing that both are viable Oxbridge options??) she really does need to some and space to think about what she wants to do with her life.

The people who struggle to find jobs are the ones with no idea what they want to do beyond uni, and who therefore don’t use their time wisely finding internships and making contacts prior to graduation. It is really really hard to find entry-level jobs these days.

I think you're right advising a gap year. Can't imagine doing a degree in something unless i really loved it.
Shes doing maths/further maths/literature/psychology and on track for 4 x a stars.

Friends son graduated from Cambridge with a 2.1 in 2024 and can’t find a job 😢. It’s not a golden ticket.

Dd now decided she wants to do a more vocational sounding degree that she is passionate about. The students we spoke to at the open day all got placements. Dh and I on one hand want her to do the traditional subject she enjoys and is good at but wonder if she’s actually got the right idea.

Sounds like your DD is a very clever girl.
Mine had some advice recently from an academic who said she should choose an applied subject rather tgan a 'pure' one.
So economics/finance/business rather than maths.

My DD did much the same. Went to the Oxbridge open days and those of a number of other places then decided that even though she likely could have got in to Cambridge she chose not to as it wasn't what she saw herself as doing.

Instead she went to the LSE, had a great time, worked incredibly hard, came out with a first and got a grad job in the City. Three years later she's still there on a very healthy salary with great prospects and absolutely loving being in London.

It sounds like your DD has got her head screwed on. She'll work it out. Your job is just to support her decisions and worry in the background.

I decided not to apply to Oxford or Cambridge and my parents couldn't hide their disappointment.

But I knew I wanted to do the specific course at Durham. I've never regretted it, it was a beautiful city to live in and I had a fabulous time. And soaring along at the top of my year group for my subject did wonders for my confidence.

I agree with all who have said she must do what she loves then she'll do well etc BUT I'd hope that if mine were starting out now they'd do something that would help employment prospects afterwards too. One of mine did engineering and that has given him really good transferable skills whereas I do hear of some spending 3/4 years doing things that aren't as obviously going to lead to a job afterwards. Dd did something where the jobs market is crazy competitive but had a year in industry and has lots of work experience and is getting interviews. Neither went to Oxbridge.