URGENT Help me help DS TODAY please?

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Ds has a choice of Uni via Clearing.

He'd have to choose TODAY.

choice: ABERTAY(computing & cyber) or NAPIER (cyber & forensics)?

Factors to consider:

He has ASD. He is very Dyslexic. He has a heart condition. He'll need support.
He has a previous Disabled student assessment (ASD etc not heart condition)
Both Uni's say they will 'set things up asap (but it's quite late in the day)'

NAPIER Pro/cons:

Cons:

He'd have to go into Y2 Napier (entry via HNC) NOT confident about this at all.
He did a term there (before ill) & found it big, disorganised, SEN support slow
Room distant from Uni (1m is a struggle atm, no good bus), & a 'party place'. Small room on top floor (lifts available) all that is left at this stage.

Pluses: he likes Edinburgh, familiar, mix of students & clubs. A 'friend' is going.
Good canteen on site & easy food shops nearby (v nervous about feeding self)
Good Cardiac care in Edinburgh (saw a Consultant there privately already)

ABERTAY Pros/Cons:

Really good well organised course. Loads of info online. Students 'led through'
Fantastic tutor there, very accessible. Leads the clubs too. Met Ds - they liked.

Big comfy accessible room, ground floor, around corner from Uni: less walking.
Nice small city (feels less 'at home' than Ed though). Mostly Tech students.
Uni 'known for good SEN support'. Good ASD support in Dundee itself.

Minuses: further from home (2.5hrs vs 1 hr re support trips & home visits)
No Canteen - ds is really worried about feeding himself 3 times a day (& needs to eat regular & healthy re heart issues)
No current health connections (but Big City hospital around corner from Uni)

He is keen to go try. He's leaving a rotten situation here so I am keen for him too

He wants my advice. I am struggling to advise him properly due to my anxiety.
(feels SO important I'm scared to advise 'wrong')

Please help me think through what to prioritise ?

I would advise my son to choose Abertay.

Why?

The room sounds better (what's he going to do in Edinburgh if the lift is broken?). The general living situation sounds like it would suit him better.

He's not really going to benefit from having one party friend in Edinburgh so you can score that pro off.

The course support at Abertay sounds better if he's going to have other health worries going on. And the other support you've described sounds better.

By 'canteen' do you mean

catered meals in halls? There will be lots of places around to eat. Post in the Scotsnet board and local people will have recommendations. Yes that's a challenge but you can work it through together. The food in catered halls is not always great anyway.

And the travel is a pain. But hopefully once he's settled he won't need you to visit every week. Depending on where you're travelling from maybe you could each travel an hour and meet in the middle .

Dundee is lovely. I like the V&A museum and that whole area. Abertay is really central so he will never have far to walk to get places. Or to get to the bus or train station.

I hope he has a good year.

I would go Abertay. Dundee is not super-overwhelming and always feels like quite an autistic-friendly place.
There's stuff like Dee con and Cake or Dice and Warhammer if he's into that kind of thing, but if not, I still don't feel too stressed moving about (apart from outside boots which sometimes has buskers with a PA).

I'm waiting to hear back from SAAS for a DSA renewal, so that side won't be super quick but he can probably ask for some things informally.

Napier

if accom at Napier didn't work out he could, just - commute by train so wouldn't have to stop his degree. He'd hate it but i guess it's technically possible

That sounds hideous if he's got health issues and anxiety. My ds travels an hour a day 3 days a week to college and finds it really hard.

That's not a plus for Napier.

Random - yes, you're correct I think. Thank you for helping me see that.

This is what I was hoping for, literally to 'talk it through'.

Of course, I just called Abertay and almost no rooms left now (whereas Napier has 20 so we can't dither forever - also not sure how long Clearing place confirmation would take at this stage?.

Sounds ridiculous to have left it so late but we've been waiting for NHS letter.

Abertay sounds much more suitable.

Abertay sounds like the best option to me. Priority needs to be ensuring he's in an environment and with the support he needs to complete the course successfully...Napier just doesn't sound like that is in place in many different ways. And I agree with others that options for food is much easier to arrange or manage than things like transport, lack of SEN support or the general atmosphere.

UG accommodation at Napier is a fair distance to the campuses. There are, of course, buses, but it is spread out over three campuses. Abertay is much more compact and easy to get around.

Imicola - yes, thank you.

I think I'd panicked about food as HE is quite panicked about it.
Napier has an old fashioned canteen - good big plates hot food for £5 - easy.
Abertay has no student union or canteen. He'll need regular healthy food re heart condition. But I can literally drop him off 24x frozen batch cooked meals.
He is worried he'll be teased a bit. I said just tell flatmates you've been proper ill & your Mother fusses. By end of two weeks you'll have picked up some skills. Porridge pot & banana, Beans on toast. Hes got enough £ to get M&S ready meals / food delivered if needed. I will text him to remember to eat to begin with
(he'll be busy coding & forget then go wobbly!) This is progress-able, you're right

There are cafes around the corner from
abertay—no more than a 5 minute walk. I actually think there is a cafe on the same road at abertay, if I remember correctly.

I would try Abertay. He's tried Napier and didn't like it by the sound of it. Its good you can get up there regularly if needed. I would try and encourage him to make simple food on his own. Maybe just supply ingredients and instructions to start with and any appliances needed if allowed and not there already.

Maybe try and work out a daily food plan with him like breakfast cereal and milk (or whatever usually has) Mon lunch, Mon dinner and work out a plan.

Another vote for Abertay, if you feel those are the only two options. He's already tried Napier and didn't like it. Abertay sounds much more manageable. If all else fails you can order an online shop for him every week which contains healthy ready meals etc.

I'd seriously advise (if you were my friend!) to grab Abertay now, while there is still a room available. It sounds ideal. The uni-age 'kids' I know would be envious of a freezer full of home cooked food, not teasing him. Abertay sounds just lovely to me! Also - I quickly googled and it said Abertay is flat and Napier is hilly. Would that sway him re: walking around?

Abertay.

You can sort out organising healthy food relatively easily but there is nothing you can do about poor support at Napier. There is a hospital so that isn’t really a con. The only real con is that it is further away. It’s still close enough to come home every weekend if needed and cost isn’t an issue.

Hi, OP -

The known disadvantages at Napier are quite significant. I am thinking particularly of the need for an ASD student to begin in Y2 when he doesn’t feel confident, the known disorganisation and the slowness DS found organising SEN support before.

The distance to Abertay is not ideal but otherwise it sounds pretty good! The fact that DS already thinks well of his tutor is a big plus. Almost all students could benefit from more proactive interaction with staff than they have, and this is especially true of SEN students.

DS is very lucky to have the offer of your help with meals. However I suspect that in the absence of a canteen reasonable options abound. Encouraging him to use them will help him to integrate into university life.

Best wishes to DS

Abertay no contest. Napier sounds chaotic and didn't work out last time, it's only real pro is the catering and being closer, but those are not good reasons to choose a uni. Abertay has a great rep for computing and so many other pro's on your list. It matter hugely that they have their shit together to take care of him. He can get food from plenty of places around the uni, he's not going to starve, and 2.5hrs is doable. I'd go Abertay and forget about Napier, esp with the 2nd year start. Take it off the table and embrace the much more positive option.

Thank you @poetryandwine you make really good points x
Yes, I am hoping 'Mums meals' will be a stop-gap.
His confidence will improve hugely quite quickly I think.
If he goes - this weekend - no time to teach him much but we can come up with a '7 day meal plan' to help him feel more secure to start off with.
All he needs is a few friends & he is actually really sociable so has that on side.
Then they can cock up making carrot, banana & bean soup together, laugh about it, bin it and chip in for a pizza.

A stray sounds much better for him, Grab that room while you can.

I think Abertay sounds the most supportive. You can work out an easy meal plan. None of my flatmates could cook and I taught them simple meals-it was part of the uni experience. For now though - Breakfast can be straightforward, lunch he could buy or make himself and dinner could you batch cook/easy meals like pasta and stir in sauce. Book him a Tesco delivery if he finds shopping daunting. Good luck to him OP!xx

You may have seen this already but has details of a few places to eat around the university, one is 100 metres away and might be a good place to grab lunch if he can manage cafes.
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/lifestyle/food-drink/5316482/lunch-near-abertay-campus-listicle/

One thing that might help him meet people if you have time / energy and he's OK with it is make some cakes like brownies for sharing can take and put out in a communal area. Though my DS would eat them all himself. 😂

Abertay.

Abertay, they have an excellent reputation for these subjects and from what you have described he will be supported. I understand Edinburgh is alluring but Napier isn’t in the city centre at all. Good luck x

Abertay by a mile.

@MrsPengiuins - thank you, really helpful. I could take him to a couple of these when dropping off weekend so he gets more familiar. I know there is a Waterspoons not far too, if he gets desperate!

Ok, I think his best chances are at Abertay.
THANK YOU ALL.

One (perfect) room left at Parker House.
How long does Clearing typically take please?