My son failed his university degree

[SHMumindespair]

I feel at a loss. Could I have done more? I was supposed and looking forward to a university graduation when my son sends a message that he will.jot tet a degree. He filed too many times. 4vyears. £70000 debt and no degree. Future ruined. I am.just at a loss and just crying, feeling a mix of anger, disappointment, responsibility.... I could go on but feel like a failure myself as a mother.

Don’t catastrophise, he still has his whole life in front of him, this is a blip.

It’s quite hard to fail a degree if you are actually turning up and studying and trying to pass, and unis don’t like to fail students, so something has been going wrong with your son’s studies for a while. Which means he needs support right now.

Next steps will depend on the cause of the problems, but ultimately it’s his problem and his solution to find, your job is to be supportive and not automatically bail him out.

OP, can you talk to him about options? Has he failed his final year modules, in which case can he repeat the year or has he already done this?

Indeed - it is the lower income group who leave with higher debt

• as families do not have not income to support and may even rely on some help from the student as I've seen in some cases

• dont have access to fancy internships which pay more
• minimum wage jobs equal variable shifts which affect study and the cycle continues.

Very complex but sad to see, not to derail the thread but just to set the context of the high debt levels all round.

OP as others have explained with examples all is not lost and DC can comeback from this.

The student tax will be payable dependant on his actual earnings thankfully and he has time to fix only being in his 20's.

PM’d you 🙂

First of all, I am sorry to hear that. Been there, got the T-shirt. There are a number of options open to him that will allow him to retrieve something tangible from his 4 years. He really needs advice from his institution. He must go to student services straight away - there is often a time limit on actions that can be taken. As others have suggested, he may be able to leave with a lesser qualification. He may potentially be able to appeal if he can prove mitigating circumstances (his institution will have info on that). He may appeal on academic grounds if he feels there has been an error in the marking procedure. He may be able to transfer credits to another course or institution and re-take his final year. as @Persipan suggests, OU will accept transferred credits (although again, there is a time limit). It's tough, but if he really wants it, he'll get something rather than nothing.

Please don’t panic my son ended up with a third and I had lots of sleepless nights when he was at uni. He was still taken on as his job offer didn’t state a specific grade. Luckily he is very good at what he does, he is much better suited to work than academia, he hated coursework and hated exams. Now he is one of a company’s top data whizz

Your DS is still young enough to get on one of the apprenticeships offered by big companies

It varies by university and course but there can often be an option to re-do the final year if there are extenuating circumstances. The uni where I work certainly does that when students have significant events which had disrupted their studies. However there are a few courses which are overseen by external industry accreditation bodies that don't allow it.

As OP said her DS had already done four years I wonder if he's already re-taken his final year and this was his last chance?

I completed two years, issues with the degree organisation meant no-one on the course was able to continue.
I felt the weight of my parents disappointment keenly, particularly my mother, and this affected our relationship for a few years.
I've always put it on my CV, owned it and discussed when asked at interview, and now earn more than either of my siblings who both have a degree.

I failed out of my degree two years in to a three year course 15 years ago, no doubt at huge disappointment to my parents. I started working in an office as an admin and got promoted etc. and I earn just over £50k a year now. It probably changed my path but it certainly didn't ruin it. It was annoying paying back the cost but I still enjoyed my time at university, met a lot of people, tried a lot of things I never had or will again so I didn't see it as for nothing. Chin up OP I'm sure once the dust settles there will be a way.

The best way to support your DS is to acknowledge his frustration and distress, but reassure him that changing direction is not failure

Perhaps he didn't work hard enough. Lesson learned

Perhaps he did study hard, but the course was too difficult for him and not suitable. Lesson learned

Talk to him about times that bumps in the road caused you to change direction and how it all turned out OK

Encourage him to keep sense of perspective

Check out #nowrongpath on Twitter, on 6 August, when Scottish school exam results are issued. Fantastic annual social media campaign, to reassure people whose results weren't what they hoped for

If it is any consolation, at least he told you before you turned up for the graduation ceremony having flown in from overseas.

Unlike one of my students who flunked his fourth year.

I didn't do great in college had to repeat one year of exams aswell and ended up taking 5 years to get my degree. I also didn't great in my leaving cert - Irelands exams- my mother cried when she heard my results and I missed out on my 1st choice for college due to points. but that was 20yeras ago. I am still working in my area of my degree. I survived being made redundant and working through the worst recession Ireland ever saw. I work for a good company now. my years salary is nearly 6 figures. got my full bonus recently too so must be doing something write. you sound like my mother. I ended up finishing same tome as my sis did in college and for years after she compared me to her. it is what it is. something didn't work but your son will get up and carry on with life. you need to support him

Former university employee here. Here's my advice.

Every university has a set of regulations/policies that govern assessments. Find these, they will be available publicly online, and instruct encourage your son to go through these with a fine-toothed comb.

When doing this, tell him to consider the following points:

1. Has he read all of the assessment policy - resubmissions, appeals, mitigations, complaints?
2. Has the University followed it's own processes, to the letter?
3. Has he spoken in person with someone from the Student Union? He should do this.
4. Has he spoken in person with his course leader or personal tutor? He should do this.
5. Did he receive written feedback that he could actually use to improve his performance?
6. Was he invited to meet with a tutor at any point to discuss his performance or risk of failure?
7. Did he have any significant or serious personal factors that he did not disclose and for which there is evidence? Think creatively here.
8. If he has a disability, was this assessed correctly, re-assessed regularly, and all prescribed adjustments provided?

I hope this helps. A good outcome here would be a successful appeal, followed by another submission opportunity for recently failed modules or units. He may receive a lower degree classification because of this (depending on why the appeal was granted), but this may or may not matter depending on his career.

It might seem bleak now but when a door closes another one opens. I know someone who unexpectedly didn’t get an offers for uni, got into a uni through clearing and then unexpired came out with a third. I have no idea what happened in those years. She started right at the bottom after finishing doing admin work and 25 years later is a very senior marketing director. He will be fine long term but just needs a plan of where to start ASAp. Nothing you could have done or can do other than be a support

I work in careers with executives and entrepreneurs and had several clients who failed their degree / never went to uni but built fantastic careers. Your son needs to find motivation again (or for the first time), please don’t dramatise this for him or for yourself

@HoppityBun He really was fabulous!

Kindly, you are being over the top.
Is he healthy? Is he a kind and essentially honest person?
That’s what matters. Everyone makes mistakes, especially when young.

University isn’t right for everyone at 18.

The debt is just a graduate tax if and when he earns enough to start repaying.

Support him to get a job and move on with his life. It’s far from ruined.

Think creatively?

@SHMumindespair I think your reaction is extreme. Please take some deep breaths and calm down. This hasn’t happened to you. It is your adult son who has encountered a bump in the road. How big it is for him to decide. He must have known for well over a year that he was failing. It’s quite difficult to completely fail a degree. He can’t have been doing his work properly and he could have asked for help along the way if he was motivated to pass. We raise our children as best we can. When they reach a certain age (late secondary school), it’s up to them. As another poster said, this is not about you!

£70,000 in debt.

Sweet Jesus.

You are not responsible - your son is.

I am assuming the 70,000 smackeroos will be paid back by your son? He needs to get the first job that he can find, no matter how basic, and start paying back ASAP.

If he cannot be arsed to apply himself to pass, then he needs to get off of his arse and find work.

It's £70, 000, according to OP's post.

But he got a degree, so that’s not really relevant.

Has he failed beyond all repair? I failed a module in my final year so I couldn’t graduate. But re-did the module the following term and was able to graduate a few months later. Having said this, failing a degree is not the end of the world. Obviously the money that’s been spent is upsetting. But my actual degree, I don’t believe it’s really helped my in my work life, other than giving me an extra 3 years you work out what I really wanted to do, which turned out to be nothing to do with my degree but something I built on from the part time job I did alongside it.

Depends where you are, in Scotland undergrad degrees are 4 years long.

I dont know how kids do it theae days 70k is awful amount. I woulent go to university if I had to pay it. I was lucky to do my degree before fees were this crazy. And I finished with 0 debit and with savings.

Not the end of the world. Let him grieve. And give him some space and time. I am sure he is very upset. Not the end of the world. There are options so much you can do without a degree.