AIBU to be upset about my DD's university choice?

[Nicmarmum]

My DD, who is now in year 13, decided to study Law for her undergraduate studies. She applied for a few universities in the UK and received conditional offers from UCL and KCL.

She attended the open day of both universities and formed a strong preference of KCL over UCL. She likes KCL's vibes, its beautiful buildings and is disappointed by how unorganized UCL run the open day, and its facilities look run down to her.

She is considering to firm KCL which I am unsure whether it is a wise choice. I am given to know that UCL is academically stronger in law, and enjoys a better reputation in the industry. I have conveyed such messages to DD as well but she seems to be quite determined. If you were me, what will you do?

I think expressing your opinion is all you can do, she has to make the choice herself. Let her.

If you were me, what will you do?

I'd butt out.

It's not your choice and you've told her your opinion so leave it at that.

she seems to be quite determined.
and that's all you need to know, I didn't even know my DDs choices until she'd applied, she made the decision, it's nothing to do with me.

You’ve done what you can. She’s obviously very intelligent and capable of making decisions, let her.

If I were you?

I would respect dd's choices and let her choose what's right for her.

If she is intelligent enough to get offers from two good universities, I reckon she is intelligent enough to make an informed decision about which one she likes best.

Part of parenting as kids become adults is accepting they will make decisions that we wouldn’t necessarily make. It doesn’t mean they’re wrong though. She’s not you, and never will be

I agree, you can only advise. It is her decision. She is probably making the right choice as students get better grades when they like their Uni community.

I am unsure whether it is a wise choice

You don't need to be sure though as the universities haven't offered you a place.

Your daughter seems to be an intelligent person or she wouldn't have got the offers.

You let her go where she feels most comfortable. Going to uni can be such a big step & it's better if you know you like where you're going. I chose my uni (partly) on the vibe of the city and the "feel" of the campus; I figured if I was going to spend 3 years there I needed to like it!

They are very similar reputation wise and in relation to likely life opportunities afterwards... I would let her choose whichever she prefers!

There is very little difference between them for Law. If she prefers KCL, that's where she should go.

What's the big deal about UCL? Its ethics are questionable, including reports that it removes modules to appease international students' home governments

Not sure if KCL is at the same game though.

She’s not choosing Luton over Cambridge. These are two very good universities and her Open Day experiences may well be a decent indication of her future undergraduate experience. Of course it may not be but she can only judge as she finds. University ratings are heavily weighted towards research outputs; your daughter’s experience will be largely determined by the quality of the teaching she receives and the facilities available to students. Your daughter is more likely to gain the best possible degree classification at a University she is happy at. I’d be fully supportive of her choice.

I’d support her prioritising real feelings of being happy and comfortable somewhere over some random idea of a university’s reputation.

YABU.

I'd support her choice.

If I were you, honestly, I’d support her choice. It’s her life, after all. What if she was persuaded by you, and ended up hating it at UCL?

It’s her choice
My ds turned down a surprisingly low offer from Warwick for a non Russell group Uni.
I could see why as everything about the course at Warwick wasn’t what he was looking for. Same course title but completely different.
He loves where is and because he made the choice based on what was important to him he’s really enjoying it there and thriving.

Its their life and their choice.

I thought you were going to say that she viewed UCL & KCL and then plumped for UEL or something.

It's fine. It's completely her choice, but also those are good offers from good institutions and that gap isn't want you think it is.

Her life, her future, her decision. As a parent you need to support her in whatever she chooses to do, not criticise it

Like a PP, I thought that you were about to say she’d chosen somewhere like Nottingham Trent over KCL! It’s a great university and she will be absolutely fine. League tables aren’t the be all and end all. You are making a big deal out of nothing

According to US behind the scenes polls she is making a good choice.

I'm a lawyer in the City. KCL vs UCL is an infinitesimal difference in the scheme of things.

Who’s paying? If you, then you get a say!

I would support where ever she wanted to study. This is her life, nothing to do with you.

Sure, if you want your child to resent you and blame you if things don't work out.