AIBU to be upset about my DD's university choice?

[Nicmarmum]

My DD, who is now in year 13, decided to study Law for her undergraduate studies. She applied for a few universities in the UK and received conditional offers from UCL and KCL.

She attended the open day of both universities and formed a strong preference of KCL over UCL. She likes KCL's vibes, its beautiful buildings and is disappointed by how unorganized UCL run the open day, and its facilities look run down to her.

She is considering to firm KCL which I am unsure whether it is a wise choice. I am given to know that UCL is academically stronger in law, and enjoys a better reputation in the industry. I have conveyed such messages to DD as well but she seems to be quite determined. If you were me, what will you do?

IME both are respected in the industry. I'd be focusing more on work experience & internships than which of the two.
My advice is to get her as much work experience as possible. If she's thinking of a gap year, that's a great time to paralegal/volunteer for a legal charity. If she's still at school, can she get involved in a Bar Mock Trial or something? If at uni, needs to be looking at internships in the summers x

If she would rather be a barrister, then mini pupillages are the way forward. Plus relevant work or volunteering. KCL is as good as any as long as DD doesn’t look at Oxbridge only chambers!

Voice your view but then keep out of it. It is her life. My son did engineering at Warwick, but i always get 'blamed' for suggesting W over Cardiff....he has relatives in Cardiff and I thought he'd do more socially if he didn't have 'family' to rely on. 15 years on and it still gets brought up.

I think she has, she said she’s deciding which to ‘firm’ so she’s had offers, just needs to choose the one she wants to accept as her first choice.

Leave her to it.

I think the post you're quoting meant the place has been offered to the daughter, not the mum.

So, as someone who studied at KCL and now work there I am extremely biased, but honestly there is such a small difference I would ignore it. I had the choice myself for my masters and chose kcl and it was 100% the right choice.

Part of growing up is making your own decisions.

Part of being a wise parent is to butt out.

And part of being an even wiser parent is knowing that if she capitulates and goes where you want her to go - she'll blame you for any and everything that goes wrong, including any lousy boyfriends.

I went to the college my parents insisted on instead of where I wanted to go. I hated every second of the two years I spent there and barely scraped my A Levels enough to get into any uni.

It's her life, she's the one who will be there, spending every day in lectures and every evening with the people there and in the area.

Parents get no "say". They can advise and support. But it's her choice.

I'm charmed to see UCL is still disorganised! I picked UCL back in the 80s over KCL for history mostly because I loved the slightly crazed vibe. I loved UC so much. But each to their own.
Like the teacher in Starship Troopers tells Jonny Rico "The freedom to make your own decisions is the only real freedom we have." Let your daughter use her freedom.

I don’t think there is much difference between them for law. If it was KC v an Oxbridge university that would be different. She will be fine.

My Dd was determined to study Law at Manchester, she needed AAA she got AAB so lost her place. Although several other high ranking uni's would have offered through clearing she chose Manchester Met, because she wanted to study in Manchester. I was disappointed but never said anything because it's her choice. Now she is applying for training contracts we are finding choice of uni is less important than we thought, and a lot of firms say they recruit on personal attributes rather than uni or results, although some will ask for 2:1 Hard as it is you need to respect her choice

Both are absolutely fine. They are both strong Russell Group unis and it won’t make a significant difference. UCL is on a real drive at the moment to make itself a rival to Oxbridge so is a little more competitive but it’s marginal.

It's her decision to make. All you can do is let her know your opinion.

It doesn't matter in respect of job prospects. It may make a difference in terms of any university accommodation, year abroad study options (if she might want to do this) and elective subjects, so it's worth her just checking she's happy with the offering at KCL in those areas. Otherwise, I really wouldn't worry about that being her choice! The vibes are a bit different, so I can understand why she is drawn to one over the other, but the overall impression externally is fairly comparable.

Maybe get off your high horse, let your adult offspring make their own decisions and support them. I was just over the moon my daughter went to uni.

Being excited about where she is going, or more comfortable with where she is going - and it being her choice/ownership of the decision is really important…
It’s a full on course, starting from her perspective on a good foot is a good idea.

It's her choice I would say, let her make her own decision.

Thank you everyone for sharing your views, I am especially grateful to many of you who have shared your personal experience. I now feel a lot more certain that letting her choose will be the best course of action. Yeah, still learning every day how to let go but definitely, getting there step by step!

Ucl is better, ur right.
Take her to another open day? Chk the accommodation, where r her friends going.
Find articles about ucl for her to read or comparisons of the 2.
Don't force her, gentle guidance is gd tho.
We r younger and I'm letting mine make her mistakes now, like doing art, what a disaster that's been!

Butt out. She's an intelligent young adult who knows her field and has a greater sense of what will be right for her than you do. And she'll be spending some years there so she needs to feel comfortable with the impression they made. I went for the redbrick with its own theatre attached rather than the more prestigious name because it was me who'd be following the course.

And also - you don't get to 'let her choose'. She chooses.

You do realise that KCL and UCL take the same exams? (unless things have changed). Your DD can even attend lectures at UCL if she wants to.

I chose my College over KCL/UCL because of the welcome and the lecture sizes. I have a degree from the University of London same as if I'd gone to either of them. One of my friends used to like going to the UCL lectures too.

UCL doesn't work for some people. If KCL felt more welcoming your DD is more likely to succeed. And you have access to both libraries as well as the main University one.

Not sure that UCL is considered better than KCL, some employers will prefer one and some the other. It will make no difference anyway, both are excellent.

I think that you will find that the majority of large employers will ask for a 2:1, not just some, whatever they say. They simply don't have time to interview everyone and getting a 2:1 is the first cut.